


Don't look back

by zetsubousei (popnographic)



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Post-Despair, Smut, Super Dangan Ronpa 2 Spoilers, Trigger warnings will be added in the beginning of the chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-02-28 05:31:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 27
Words: 115,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2720549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popnographic/pseuds/zetsubousei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto's been in love with Byakuya for years, and he's sure the other knew about it all along. But as they left the Future Foundation, Byakuya suddenly disappeared, leaving them no messages or hints as to where he's gone, and this obviously devastates Makoto. However, his old high school title seems to still have some effect as he's soon brought some surprising and very good news.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Weekly despair magazine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of my post-despair Naegi/Togami fic! It's probably going to be a pretty long one, but I hope that's okay. I just have a lot of feelings about these two.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr as radiodread!

At first, I didn’t want to admit that I’d changed since we left Hope’s Peak Academy. Well, we didn’t really _leave_ , we sort of escaped. Escaped with the help of the one who trapped us in there. I didn’t want to admit to having changed since it would mean that I was different now from who I was when we went there, when we were still sixteen students in the 78th class, being good friends and leading peaceful lives.

We had known each other for about two years before it all started going wrong, very wrong. Suddenly, I’d woken up in a classroom with no recollection of what had happened or why I’d dozed off in that room in the first place.

I began exploring it and quickly realised something wasn’t right. Where the windows should have normally been, there were huge iron plates tightly screwed to the walls with bolts that were about the size of my fist. Obviously I wouldn’t be able to remove them with my bare hands, so I gave up on it immediately.

I exited the room and headed for the entrance hall in which I met my classmates who felt like total strangers to me despite the fact that I’d known them for two years. Not that I knew that at the time, of course.

We proceeded to awkwardly shake hands and introduce ourselves to each other, revealing our titles and trying to make conversation before we realised we should probably head for the entrance ceremony which was said to be held in the gymnasium.

We all walked in silence, partly since we still didn’t know each other (though we did), and partly because we were nervous of what could possibly await us in the gymnasium. I’m pretty certain no one would’ve been able to predict — no, not even the Super High School Level Fortune Teller — that we would be greeted by a teddy bear standing up on the podium.

“Mike test, mike test! Whatever, you’ll probably hear me.” A murmur went through the room as people turned to each other, wondering what the hell was going on. Confused glances were exchanged — I, on the other hand, couldn’t even bring myself to utter a word.

A girl’s voice cut through the murmurs, and everyone else turned their heads in her direction. “A teddy bear? Is this some kind of a joke?”

The teddy bear on top of the podium put his paws — I still can’t believe this happened — to its side, looking disgruntled. The right half of his body looked like a regular teddy bear, it was white, had a black button eye, nose, and a cute smile.

His left half was completely black; his eye was red, formed like a wavy lightning bolt turned horizontally. The left half of his mouth was a wide grin and filled with sharp fangs. It was so bizarre that no matter how many times I blinked, it was still the same and I couldn’t believe what I saw.

“I’m not a teddy bear — I’m Monokuma! And for your information, I’m the principal of this school.” It jumped down from the podium, gracefully landing on its soft feet with a nearly inaudible thud.

It started walking back and forth, and we listened in shock and terror to its pitter-pattering across the hard-wood floor. “Let me just lay out the basics here for you. You’ve all been summoned to this academy for your exceptional skills in various subjects, I’m sure you’re quite aware of the fact by now.”

The bear walked among the students, making some of them shiver, gasp or take a step back. I just stared at it, still unable to grasp the situation.

“The thing about this academy is that, once you get in – you don’t get out. Basically, you bastards will have to live here forever. That is, unless you—“

“You can’t be serious, right? And why the hell would we listen to a fucking _teddy bear_?”

One of the students had stepped forward. His stature, movements — his entire being was intimidating. Well… except for his hairstyle, it sort of looked like he’d wrapped his long hair around a cob of corn, to be honest.

The teddy bear put its paw to its mouth, clearing its throat. I felt like I was in a really bad horror film, witnessing all of this. It must’ve at least been remote controlled somehow — but where was the person controlling it?

“If you’d let me finish”, the bear said, “I was just about to tell you how you could get out of this academy. Don’t bother trying to look for exits — the windows are sealed shut with iron plates and thick bolts, and the main entrance is guarded by security cameras and Gatling guns.”

Some students snorted, some were outright terrified by the bizarre revelation. “Well then. You _can_ get out of here, if you follow one simple rule. Kill another student.”

Every one of us uttered a disbelieving “What?” in unison. The teddy bear giggled menacingly. “If you manage to kill a student — I couldn’t care less how you went about doing so — and successfully got away with said murder, you’ll get out of here, no consequences. You’ll be free to leave as you please.”

“There has to be a catch. Albeit the rule being extremely morbid, this can’t possibly be it.” A blond, tall student sporting a black suit, white-framed, thin glasses and a stoic expression plastered to his face, had raised his voice. He pushed his glasses back in place with an index finger, awaiting a reply.

The teddy bear turned to him. “Well, you’d obviously have to go through a trial. What’d you expect? Society’s rules still apply in here, you know. There’ll be a class trial held where you bastards will have to figure out who committed the crime — and if you get it right, the culprit will be punished. If you fail to point out the correct person, everyone but the culprit gets punished and the culprit will be free to leave the academy.”

“By punished, you mean…?”

“Execution, of course!”

The uncomfortable, horrifying surprises never stopped coming. We stood there in silence, dumbfounded, scared for our lives. The teddy bear hopped up onto the podium once again and sat down, gleefully kicking its legs in the air whilst scanning the terrified crowd of students.

“All right, that’s it. Your joke has gone way too far and my patience just ran out.”

The corn cob guy stepped forward, yanking the teddy bear down from the podium and held it by its chest in a tight grip. Suddenly, the bear started squirming, wailing its arms and legs about. “Ah! Ah! Violence against the headmaster is strictly forbidden!”

“Huh?” the guy rumbled. The teddy bear kept trying to wriggle free, until suddenly it went completely limp, not saying a word.

All of a sudden, though, it started beeping terribly loud from it, and one of the female students was quick to notice something was definitely not right. “Quickly, throw it away!”

“What’d you say?” the guy replied, still holding on to the bear. Its red eye was blinking, pulsating an ominous light.

“Just do it, throw it away right now!”

He did as she said, and just a second after he’d thrown it up in the air as far as he could — it exploded.

There was a thick smoke coming from the explosion, combined with the smell of gunpowder. People screamed and ran to the other side of the gymnasium in fear, even though the explosion was already over.

“I—is the teddy bear dead now?” a female student stuttered.

“I’m not a teddy bear, I keep telling you! I’m Monokuma!”

As if ascending from a lift, the damned teddy bear came up from behind the podium again, standing on top of it with its paws to the side.

“Since I hadn’t told you about the rules before — though it should’ve been obvious — I’m letting you off with a warning. But next time—“, and it put its right paw into the air, suddenly making claws spurt out, “I won’t be so nice.”

There wasn’t much more to it after that. We all stood there in silence, distancing ourselves from each other in fear of someone plotting to kill already. There was no way we could trusted anyone now, no matter how much we may have wanted to.

We exchanged suspicious glances, standing in silence for a while until someone broke the tension. “If we’re gonna be trapped in here, why don’t we just check out the place? I mean, maybe that teddy bear forgot about an exit or something — who knows?”

The guy looked absolutely ridiculous; if the guy with the corn cob hair didn’t already look like something out of a comic, this other guy _definitely_ did, with long dreads sticking right out as if supported by steel wire, a dark green jacket carelessly thrown across his shoulders, a white shirt, dark green pants and brown sandals.

“What do you say?”

“Are you saying we go investigate to find an exit?”

“Yeah!”

Someone sighed. “We might as well — what other options do we have? Lock ourselves up in our rooms and cower in fear? Let’s go.”

People dispersed, quickly walking in different directions to look for anything resembling a way out of this hell-hole. I sighed to myself and walked out of the gymnasium to join the others in their investigation. Obviously, we didn’t find a way out no matter where we looked, and the hope of escaping was slowly fading out.

During the following weeks, the demon principal disguised as a teddy bear came up with different kinds of motives for us to “ignite the murderous spirit inside us”, as he’d so excitedly put it. Some of us were so naïve — thinking that “of course we won’t kill each other over such stupid things. They’re just motives, after all.” But we were wrong, oh so wrong.

We were sixteen students who had our memories stolen from us, memories of our two years together, not just a few weeks, and we acted like we’d met for the first time when it was really the second.

The mastermind, Junko Enoshima, had done all this to spread despair, to blot out the light of hope in the world. In doing so, she made our classmates kill others to try and escape the academy and be free, get back to their lives, their families and friends, their normal lives.

Sixteen students were in the 78th class of Hope’s Peak Academy as we started on our first day, but only six students made it out alive after the final trial which had concluded with the brutal execution of the mastermind. What had been so sick, so morbid, was that she actually _wanted_ to die. “The tears I cried when I was born were tears of despair!” she had said during the class trial.

She had toyed with us during that entire trial, not to mention the one before where she had a trial for someone who had been murdered by herself a long time ago — and it ended up with me going to execution.

Luckily — quite literally — I was saved by the Alter Ego program a fellow student had installed on a school laptop before he had been murdered himself. The Alter Ego program had infiltrated the school network, creating a virus that would ultimately stop the large block resembling a trash compactor from crushing me and the desk I’d been chained to. Instead, the desk kept going along the conveyor belt until it fell down a dust chute to the trash room below the school building.

I still don’t know how I made it out alive — maybe my Super High School Level title being “Luck” really wasn’t just based on the fact that I was chosen by raffle to go to Hope’s Peak? It’s been two years since we got out, and a lot has happened since then.


	2. Resurfacing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto receives some news from Aoi at work, and he's not sure if it's made his day better or worse.

I walked inside of a house that was familiar, but at the same time completely unknown to me. I had known it for the majority of my life; how every step of the stairs sounded when you set foot on them, how that one floorboard in the hallway made a squeaking noise as you stepped on it (which was good to know since I’d gone down to get a midnight snack quite often, and as a result, I always avoided said floorboard), how the bathroom door was slightly slanted so you had to lift it a bit and then push it open.

I knew every detail about that house — yet it felt completely unfamiliar to me as I stepped inside. It felt eerie, wrong, to be there. I _lived_ there, but still felt like I shouldn’t have been in that house at that moment.

For a second, I considered turning back and exiting the house. But I kept walking, and when I reached the living room, my heart stopped, and the world around me seemed to have done the same.

The couch was nearly torn apart; it had marks that reminded of knife (or sword?) slashes. The blue flower vase which had been standing on the coffee table was smashed to pieces; the red roses scattered across the floor. I took slow steps inside, trying to process the horrid image I was seeing in front of me. What had happened here? Most importantly – where were my family?

“Komaru?” I called. No answer. “Mum? Dad?” Still nothing. I felt panic creep upon me as I continued walking and opened the kitchen door.

What I saw in there was something I never thought I’d see, not even in films. It was beyond terrifying, and I took a few steps back in pure shock, my breath caught in my throat.

There was blood… everywhere. On the walls, the chairs, table, the kitchen counters… I had to hold my hand over my mouth and nose so I wouldn’t throw up as the metallic smell of blood started spreading. _What was going on_?

I stumbled out of the kitchen on legs feeling like jelly and ran up the stairs, hearing my heart throbbing in my ears and in my head as I went. _Please tell me they’re okay, please tell me this is just a sick joke… please tell me—_

I reached the top of the stairs and turned to walk towards my parents’ bedroom, and another wave of shock washed over me like a bucket of ice cold water. There was writing in blood on their door. “ _What happened to Naegi Makoto’s family? Find out after graduation!_ ”

And that’s when I woke up.

 

*

 

I reluctantly got out of bed with a loud groan. _Monday again_ , I thought to myself. I’d forgotten to close the blinds before I went to sleep the night before, and it resulted in the sun shining mercilessly right in my face as I got out of bed. I opened the window a little, letting the morning air in. It was just past seven, I had about twenty minutes before I had to be out of the house and head to work.

At my age, people expected me to be in college or at university or something like that, but I still couldn’t bring myself to go back to school, despite it having gone two years since we left that pesky school behind us.

She stood in the kitchen as I came in, wearing an oversized T-shirt over her underwear and drinking straight from the juice box, fridge still open. I closed it for her and gave her a look.

“What? I’m almost done. You want breakfast?”

I snorted. “I’ll just get some toast, thanks. What are you doing today?”

Kyouko shrugged. We’d been living together ever since we left the Future Foundation, ever since we’d come back from the islands from where we’d rescued a class from having been in a similar hell-like situation that we’d been in.

The same little devil teddy bear had escaped — we always believed that it was remote controlled, that it was just a regular teddy bear with robotic features, since it could walk and talk. That teddy bear had trapped the senior students on a group of islands with no means to leave — other than having to kill another student and get away with said murder.

When we’d first been rescued by — and later joined — the Future Foundation, we’d gotten wind of the situation at the Jabberwock Islands and didn’t know what to believe. Was this really happening again?

“I’m going to my father’s old firm to see if I can’t try and steer up some of the stuff there. Maybe I’ll be able to one day take over after him and bring the legacy forward, blah blah. I’m gonna try and get into the detective business again, at least — since that’s what I’m good at. When are you leaving?”

I looked at the clock on the wall as I took a big bite out of my toast. “Er, in a few minutes, I think. Are you gonna be back in time for dinner tonight?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be here. In fact, I’ll even make dinner. Don’t worry about a thing, you just go on about your day and come back when you’re done.”

As I put on my shoes and was about to close the door behind me, she yelled at me to say hi to Aoi from her.

I worked with Aoi Asahina from my old class back at Hope’s Peak. We worked at the minimart downtown, not making a whole lot — but getting by. Since Kyouko was going to get a job now, too — maybe we’d be able to pay for rent, the other utility bills _and_ eat better food. I’d gotten sick and tired of having cup ramen noodles every other night that I got from work.

Aoi had been dating Yasuhiro Hagakure from our old class since a while back, which we’d never been able to guess or even dream of, since those two seemed like polar opposites. Apparently it was true what they said about “opposites attract”.

They looked good together, though, and sometimes they reminded me of my own miserable love life… well, I didn’t really _have_ a love life, but that was the point.

 

*

 

“I can’t believe you’re here early”, I said as I walked in, and was greeted with a grumble. Aoi had just finished baking and was headed out with the fresh bread.

“Of course I’m here early — I’m on baking duty, moron.”

“I know”, I said, smiling. “I’ll go out front and open up. The manager’s not coming in today, he’s home sick, apparently.” I tied my apron and went out into the store, hearing her mumble something in response, but I didn’t bother asking what.

I turned on the lights in the minimart and unlocked the doors. I decided to look out the window for a bit to see if any potential customers were heading our way, and as I didn’t see anyone, I placed myself behind the counter instead, drumming mindlessly on the countertop.

We hadn’t been out of the Future Foundation for too long before we got the job at the minimart. Really, we’d only done one “mission” for them, and that was to fix the situation with our seniors who were trapped on the islands.

We’d offered them a chance to leave, but they decided to stay behind and take care of those who had been “murdered” inside the virtual reality, in case any of them would wake up from their comatose state. We’d prepared them for the possibility that it might never happen — but they stayed behind anyway, refusing to lose hope and refused to give up on their friends.

The morning hours passed by with only a few customers dropping by every now and then. I half-stood up, supporting myself on one elbow with my chin in my hand. Aoi came out of the back room, wiping her hands on a towel she then stuffed between the strings on her apron.

“Hey, er, Makoto… there was something I wanted to tell you. I wanna do it now when there aren’t any customers, or I’ll probably just forget later.”

I turned my eyes to her, and she had a bothered look on her face. “What is it?” I prompted.

She fidgeted with her ponytail a bit, smiled awkwardly and scraped her shoe against the ground, which made me more than a little impatient, knowing she was trying to stall it for as long as she could… but why would she tell me the first part and then be hesitant to tell me the rest? She seemed to notice my impatience as she cleared her throat immediately. “Er, I saw Togami the other day.”

My elbow slipped down from the countertop and I stumbled a little. Suddenly my heartbeat had gone up by two hundred percent and my face felt hot. “What…? So he’s… back? Did you talk to him?”

She shrugged. “It looks like it. Yeah, we talked for a bit, just made boring old small talk, you know. He seems… to be doing well.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. I hadn’t seen him since we left the Future Foundation, and hadn’t even heard anything from him, not a phone call, not a text message — nothing. Kyouko had tried calling him, but his number wasn’t in use anymore by the time she’d called, and it was only the next day.

We didn’t live in a huge city, it was a rather small town where most people knew each other, and we never really saw him around, so we just assumed he’d disappeared from town. To hear that he was back was beyond unexpected, I just expected never to see him again after that.

“Uh-huh”, I managed to say, trying to hide the sudden nervousness in my voice. Her concerning look said she wasn’t really satisfied with my answer.

“I think you should go see him, Makoto. Really, I think you both need it.”

I clenched my fists behind the counter. “But you said he seemed to be doing well. Why would he want to see me if he’s already doing well without me in his life? I feel like I already fucked up once — I don’t want to do it again.”

She took two steps forward and grabbed my arm with such force that it surprised me, her face taking on a stern look that was very rare for her cheerful personality. “Don’t just go assuming things, Makoto. You don’t _want_ to see him, is that it?”

What kind of a stupid question was that? Of course I wanted to see him! I’d wanted to see him since the last day we saw each other, I’d missed him terribly every day since he left and never made contact again. But did that give me the right to look him up and barge myself into his life again now that he seemed to actually be doing well for himself?

“I do! Of course I do! But it doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to see me. I don’t even know what I’d say to him if I met him. ‘Hey, how’ve you been?’ It’s not that easy.”

Aoi sighed, releasing her grip on my arm. There were still no customers coming in, but it was around lunch time, so most people were probably at work or at home by this time. Aoi pulled me into a hug, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I slowly put my arms around her waist, sighing. “I’m sorry”, I mumbled into her hair.

She shook her head lightly. “Don’t worry, about it. I’m sorry, too — of course I know it’s not that easy. But I just wish you’d meet him, I’m sure he wants to see you, too. It’s been over a year, Makoto, don’t you think that’s enough? I know you still like him.”

I flinched, separating myself from her. I didn’t like being reminded of the fact, as I was still trying to forget all about it myself. “I don’t know, okay? I kind of wish he’d approach me first, and if he won’t do it — I’ll know.”

Aoi gave me a suspicious look. “Know what?”

“That he doesn’t feel the same way”, I replied, still maintaining eye contact. She smacked me on the forehead. “Ouch!” I said, rubbing my palm against where she’d just hit me.

Aoi rolled her eyes. “You’re such an idiot, Makoto. Just do yourself a favour and ring him up.”

Still rubbing my forehead, I raised an eyebrow. “How would I? He disconnected his number after we left Future Foundation, remember?”

She shoved a small note in my hand. “Here. He was generous enough to give it to me for some reason. Honestly, I think it was his intention that I’d give it to you, too.”

We finished work at three at which time the next shift started and new people came in to take over. We greeted them quickly before heading out the backdoor into the sunlight. I stretched my arms and yawned as we walked, not having moved around much at all that day.

“So how’s Kyouko?” Aoi asked.

I shrugged. “She’s doing fine, I guess. Decided she wanted to go to her dad’s old firm and try to straighten things out. At least she’d be working there from now on, that’s what I gathered.”

Aoi nodded. “I’m glad to hear that. Glad that she seems to feel better. She does, right?”

I hadn’t given it much thought since I lived with and saw her every day, but upon thinking about it, yes — she _did_ seem to feel better.

“Yeah”, I replied. “To be honest, I never expected her to break down like that; it seemed so out of character for her… but at the same time, I can’t really blame her.”

Kyouko’s dad had been brutally murdered by the mastermind that broke into Hope’s Peak a year after we started there. She didn’t know at the time since she hadn’t spoken to him since she was really young – he’d abandoned her and the entire Kirigiri family for a reason she never ended up finding out. Upon confronting the mastermind, she was faced with the truth behind it all, and it couldn’t have been easy to deal with. Especially since she’d hated him with a burning passion since he left her behind.

I parted ways with Aoi when we reached my apartment building. She lived just a few minutes away by foot, which was a relief for me on the occasions when we worked late, so she wouldn’t have to walk home alone. I would definitely offer to walk her back, but knowing her, she’d probably reject saying how I shouldn’t underestimate her strength. And maybe I shouldn’t – years of swimming had given her quite the muscles. They weren’t big per se, but she sure was strong for her age and height.

 

*

 

“Hello?” I said as I came in through the front door. I heard a faint sound coming from the TV in the living room, so I followed it and found Kyouko laying across the couch. She looked at me as I came in. “Hey, Makoto. There’s Chinese on the kitchen table — I just came back with it. Shall we eat?”

And we did. We ate in front of the TV and talked about how our day had went, I asked her about her dad’s firm and what she was going to do about it. She took a sip from her glass of water before responding. “I’m going to work for them again. Or, _with_ , I should say. Starting tomorrow, but I said I wanted to take things slow and start at the bottom.”

“Bottom?” I raised an eyebrow, shoving some noodles and pork into my mouth as I fixed my eyes on her.

She shrugged. “Paper work, I mean. I’m not quite ready to be out on the streets dusting for finger prints and chasing people down yet. In time, probably.”

I nodded. As long as she had a job and it was something she wanted to do, I was fine with it. I was unsure of whether she’d actually go back to the detective business after all we’d been through, mostly herself, but was pleasantly surprised to find out that she wanted to. It had taken her about a year to come to terms with everything, but I had never once tried to rush her.

We were doing just fine with my salary — even though we sometimes had to struggle with the bills, we made it through each month, and that’s all that mattered. I didn’t even remember how we’d started living together, it seemed like such a natural thing that we’d never once stopped to think about it. But I liked it that way, and it seemed like she did, too.

“I was going to say hi from Aoi”, I said to her.

She nodded, not turning her gaze from the television. “How is she?” she asked, finishing up her dinner and putting the box on the table.

“She’s doing well, still very much in love with Yasuhiro. I still can’t believe they’re dating.”

Kyouko laughed. “Yeah, me neither. But they _do_ look cute together, and honestly — they’re a good match.”

I nodded and scraped the last noodles in the box together, before I pinched them with my chopsticks. “She said she met Togami the other day, too.”

She choked on the water she was just about to gulp down. She looked at me with wide eyes. “Really? What’d he say? Was he in town?”

I shrugged, looking down into my now empty box. I put it on the table and leaned back onto the sofa. “She said he seems to be fine, that it appears he’s back in town and stuff. She gave me his number, too.”

“Well, have you called him yet?” I shook my head, which made her raise her voice. “Why not?! What the fuck’s keeping you after all this time?”

“I can’t just call him! What would I say? After all this time, it’d be weird to suddenly just call him like nothing happened.”

“But nothing _did_ happen!” Kyouko snapped. “Or did it? Did something happen after we regained our memories that you haven’t told me?”

I shook my head again. “No. Nothing at all happened, and maybe that’s where he wanted to leave things. He doesn’t even know—“

“To hell with that, of course he does. And I know he wants to see you, everyone knows that, I’m not saying that just because I happened to have the stupid ‘ultimate detective’ title in high school.” Speaking of which, Aoi had said something similar earlier that day. I didn’t want to tell Kyouko that or it’d just boost her ego more.

“So what, do I just call him? What do I say?”

She sighed impatiently. “You really _do_ need me to figure out everything for you.” I interjected. “Hey! At least I helped a little during class trials—“

And at that point, I realised what I’d said and I quickly dropped it. She didn’t seem to care that I touched on that subject, but continued on her rant. “As I was saying. Yes, just call him. Ask him if you could meet somewhere for lunch or maybe just coffee, if he’s that busy.”

She made it sound so simple, but knowing myself I’d probably freak out a few times before even managing to press the call button. I would probably be unable to speak, utter coherent words upon hearing his voice. But since these two stubborn women had practically forced me to do it, I had no choice.


	3. Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto gathers the courage needed to contact Byakuya again, and makes _the_ phone call.

I decided to call him the next day during lunch break. Aoi went out through the front doors, sending a nod my way before she disappeared. I went out the back instead, so I could have some privacy. My heart was nearly beating itself out of my ribcage as I dialled the number Aoi had scribbled down on a piece of paper. With a shaky hand, I pressed call and listened to the dial tones with my breath caught in my throat.

“ _Yes, this is Byakuya._ ”

When he actually answered his phone, I felt the air finally leave my lungs and I nearly dropped my phone to the ground. I gripped it tight so it wouldn’t happen. “Hi, Togami… it’s me, Naegi Makoto. Uh… I was just wondering if—“

“ _Naegi?_ ” He went silent for a while, and I thought he’d hung up on me. Had he already forgotten about me? I was wondering what went through his mind as the silence dragged on for a few painful seconds. “ _Oh, it’s you_ ”, he finally said after a while. It didn’t sound good. I had the sudden urge to hang up and forget it ever happened.

“ _It’s been a while. What is it?_ ” he pressed.

I was so nervous that I could barely speak, but I knew that if I didn’t do it now, he’d hang up and I probably wouldn’t get a second chance at trying to talk to him again. “Are you… back in town?”

“ _Yes, I moved back a few weeks ago. Why_?”

“W—well, I was just wondering if we could meet up. Catch up on stuff… or something.”

I felt like such an idiot, stammering my way through my sentences that weren’t even that hard to speak. Well, they were… when talking to him.

“ _Okay. Saturday? We can have coffee or whatever it is you drink._ ”

“Oh… okay. Coffee’s fine with me, maybe we could meet at one of the cafés in town.”

I wanted to see him but I also didn’t, in fear of letting my emotions get the best of me. I knew I couldn’t control anything about myself around him, hell — I’d be lucky to be able to even walk or breathe in his presence.

I didn’t even remember when I’d started to feel like this for him. It made perfect sense since our memories of two whole years at Hope’s Peak had been stolen. I knew it happened sometime around then, but then the mastermind stole those memories from me. Memories of how we got close to each other after a lot of warming up (I learnt the hard way that he wasn’t much of a people person). Memories of how something almost happened between us… and then they were gone.

Somehow, the Future Foundation managed to restore our memories, and as soon as we’d left them, Togami had left us, too. No explanation, no messages, not a hint to where he’d go next. I was agonised with worry for a year, and now that I knew he was back, I felt a wave of relief wash over me, and it only felt even stronger as I heard his voice on the other end.

“ _Sounds good. When?_ ”

We arranged to meet at Tully’s around three that Saturday afternoon. I hung up, my hands still shaking, and I called Aoi instead. “ _Makoto? How’d it go?_ ”

I sighed. “It went okay. We’re going to meet for coffee on Saturday.”

I had to hold my phone back a bit as she screamed into the phone. “ _Really?! That’s great! Finally, you guys are meeting again. Aren’t you excited?_ ”

Was I? I was more nervous than excited, that’s for certain. Sure, I really wanted to meet Togami again, but I was afraid of meeting him since I didn’t know what to say to him whenever I stood face to face with him. It’d been a year since we last saw each other, and a lot could happen in a year.

“I guess. More nervous, though.”

She clicked her tongue. “ _Be positive, it’ll be fine. I’ll be back in a few, we can have lunch together. I don’t think the manager would mind us having a slightly longer lunch today._ ”

Saturday crept closer and closer. That Friday night, I was standing in my room with my wardrobe fully open, trying to decide what to wear the next day. Kyouko stood beside me, eyeing the shelves with a pondering look on her face.

“Go for the black shirt and those darker jeans”, she said.

“Won’t that be a little too warm?” I asked. It was still very much summer even though we were almost at the end of July. Summers tended to be really hot around here, and sometimes they lasted a bit longer than normal.

She shrugged. “I don’t know, you’re going to sit inside anyway, aren’t you? Last time I checked, Tully’s didn’t have outdoor seating.

I nodded slowly. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks for the input.”

Kyouko smiled a little and ruffled my hair. She used to wear gloves following a work-related accident she had when she was still new to the detective business, which resulted in hideous scars and burn marks on both hands.

After we got out of Hope’s Peak, she planned on taking some of the heritage she’d gotten from her dad to use on plastic surgery, to be able to finally retire those dark purple, studded gloves she’d constantly been wearing. It wasn’t until just recently that she started feeling comfortable enough not having to wear them when she was with me, but I could still see it was tough on her.

As we came out to the living room, the doorbell rang and we gave each other confused looks.

“Are you expecting someone?” she asked.

“No. I assume you don’t either”, I replied. She raised an eyebrow and went to open the door. In came the lovebirds.

“Hey guys! Hope you weren’t busy… we wanted to drop by on a surprise visit. That’s okay, right?” Aoi and Yasuhiro stepped in, hugging the both of us.

“Wow, your apartment is really small”, Yasuhiro noted as he walked into the living room.

His dreadlocks were no longer standing out freely and dangling everywhere, he kept them together in a ponytail. It suited him a lot better and made him look a bit more his age. He was three years older than us, having repeated the first year of high school three times. Most of the time, though, he acted our age — he wasn’t really the brightest bulb in the box — so he fit in with our small gang pretty well.

We ordered takeout again, but this time Yasuhiro had insisted on paying as a slight apology for suddenly dropping in on us, and we offered them to stay the night. The four of us stayed up late talking, watching really bad cable shows and just hanging out. It was great, and made me forget about how nervous I was for the next day.

 

*

 

And it came sooner than I’d expected. I woke up and rolled to the side to check the time. It was only ten, so I still had plenty of time. I turned to the side; Kyouko was fast asleep beside me. We’d always slept in the same bed and it’d never been awkward, but maybe that’s because she knew I didn’t see her that way, and I knew she didn’t see me that way, either. On my part, well… I didn’t really see girls that way, anyway.

I really enjoyed our relationship; we got along really well and didn’t have to put a lot of effort into making things work between us. We’d gotten along pretty early on at Hope’s Peak and always investigated the crime scenes after a murder together. It was a trust that built up fast, and I was really glad to have her by my side. She was also the first person whom I came out to, and she had been really understanding and supporting with it. At the time when we lived at Hope’s Peak and I’d started gathering feelings for Togami, she was the only one who knew because I didn’t want everyone else to know just yet. I’d eventually have to come out to the rest of my close friends, and eventually, I did.

Up until that point, I’d been a wreck of emotions and nerves, but when it came down to it and I’d finally admitted it to my classmates, I realised I shouldn’t have worried. I really had the best friends one could ever have. When I’d come out to my friends, Togami hadn’t been around since he always spent his time in the library, but somehow he found and confronted me.

Apparently Touko Fukawa, the shy bookworm, had told him since she had eavesdropped. I didn’t mind him knowing about my preferences, and eventually I knew I had to tell him the entire truth. I just wish _she_ hadn’t been the one to spill it out to him, I’d wanted to tell him myself.

Aoi was in the kitchen making scrambled eggs and bacon as I got up. Yasuhiro was sprawled out across the mattress in front of the sofa, snoring softly. We’d moved the coffee table out near the entrance to fit the mattress in that cramped space between the TV and the couch, but it fit perfectly. “Good morning, Aoi. I hope you didn’t sleep too terribly on that mattress last night.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t worry, it was very comfortable. Although I had to kick Yasu in the middle of the night and force him up on the couch since he seemed to be chasing rabbits or something in his sleep.”

I laughed. “Well, you got the better spot, at least.” I helped her get out the stuff on the kitchen table, and then we went to wake up the other sleepy two so we could all have breakfast together.

“Kyouko”, I said as I knocked on the door. “Get up, breakfast’s ready.” I heard a soft groan as an answer and I decided to take that as “I’m coming”. Yasuhiro was already up, yawning and stretching on the couch.

“Morning”, he said. “I’ll be just a minute, gotta wash my face.”

It almost felt like the old times at Hope’s Peak when we sat and had breakfast like that; it had been a while since we met up and spent time together. Our first two years had been great, peaceful and just normal schooldays, but the last year…

I was abruptly interrupted in my daydreaming as Aoi dropped her phone down on the table, her hands went completely limp and she had a terrified expression on her face.

“What is it? What happened?!” Yasuhiro got up and sat on his knees next to her, embracing her shoulders.

Aoi struggled to speak as she stared down at her phone. “Fukawa’s… dead. And they wrote about it… in the newspaper… but they used her… _other_ name.”

Kyouko’s eyes widened, but she quickly regained her stoic expression as she took the phone from beneath Asahina’s hands, still resting on the table. “Despicable”, she mumbled. “I can’t believe they would use that name when… something like this happened.”

“Something like this?” I asked, fearing there was more to the story than Aoi had managed to tell us.

Kyouko’s facial expression hardened, her eyes looking like they could turn people into stone. “She committed suicide.” I felt my heart sink as I heard her utter those words.

I knew how weak Fukawa had been, how much the dissociative identity disorder had tormented her and caused trouble, not only for her but for the entire society, seeing how her other personality was a vicious serial killer. It was only natural that the depression, stress and mental torture would get the best of her, but I never would’ve expected it to be so soon.

“Does it say anything else?” I managed. Kyouko shook her head with a bitter expression, which seemed to be the end of that conversation, since everyone else fell silent and didn’t feel like saying anything else on the subject.

 

*

 

Aoi and Yasuhiro left our apartment a little before lunch, and Kyouko and I took the car to the convenience store to shop for groceries. I backed out of our parking spot as she put her seatbelt on. “So are you nervous?” she asked.

“A little, yeah”, I confessed.

Kyouko put her hand on my arm, which was resting on the gear shift. “It’ll be fine, relax and just be yourself. If it really goes to hell, send me a text message and I’ll call to pretend I need you for something urgent.”

I laughed. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind. I don’t think he’ll want to see me again if I don’t make a good impression on him today, though.”

She didn’t say anything, but rolled her eyes as if saying I was overreacting. Yeah, maybe I was — but I couldn’t help it. If I could get Togami back into my life, I sure as hell wouldn’t want to lose him again and I’d do everything in my power to prevent it from happening.

We made miso and tuna rolls for lunch. We still had some raw tuna in the fridge that we desperately needed to eat before it went bad. Miso was fairly cheap to make, and was something we didn’t mind having every now and then. Now that we were both working, maybe we’d be able to afford better (and healthier) food. I’d really love to get a bigger apartment, too, but that probably wasn’t happening anytime soon. I didn’t mind sharing a bedroom with Kyouko, but even I knew that women preferred privacy in some situations. She had always been indifferent to me being in the room as she got changed, but I wanted to give her privacy anyway, just for the sake of it.

And so the time came for me to start walking towards the coffee shop. I was standing by the mirror, fidgeting with my shirt, my hair and the pockets in my jeans. Kyouko came out from the bathroom, eyed me up and down and sighed.

“You know, you’ll only make it worse if you keep doing that.”

“How’s so?” I asked, glancing in her direction.

She smirked and walked up next to me. “Trust me, you look good. Really good. I would’ve considered dating you if you weren’t gay.”

I felt my cheeks get hot and I quickly brought up my hands to try and rub it off. Kyouko laughed. “Jeez, Makoto. It’ll be _fine_ , I already told you. Now go. I’ll see you tonight, if you’re not sleeping with _Byakuya-sama_ , that is.”

“Kyouko!” I squeaked, feeling the blush spread to my ears.

She laughed again. “What? If he still lives at the Togami mansion, he probably has several king size beds for you two kids to have fun in.”

It certainly didn’t help my blush to fade away, which kept the smug look on her face. She patted me on the back as a “you’ll be fine, but get the fuck out already or you’ll be late”-sign. I shot her a jokingly angry glare and went out the door.

I arrived at Tully’s five minutes earlier than we had agreed to meet. I looked at my phone, just to have something to do so I wouldn’t go completely mad with nervousness as I was waiting. Or maybe _he_ was waiting, too? _Maybe I should go in_ , I pondered to myself. I peeked inside one of the windows, and it didn’t look like he was inside. I exhaled out of relief and turned around.

“Who are you spying on?” a voice said as I turned around, feeling my heart flutter as I did.


	4. The beat of a drum

“Hello, Naegi. Can’t say I’m not surprised you picked such a mundane coffee shop”, he said. He was still the same Byakuya Togami whom I’d known up until a year ago, and despite his cruel and blunt character — I was glad he hadn’t changed.

I scratched my head and smiled awkwardly. “Sorry.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s fine, let’s just go inside.”

We ordered coffee, and as I was about to pull out my wallet, he insisted to pay with the excuse that “I probably couldn’t afford luxuries like these anyway”. I let him do as he wanted and let him pay for my coffee. At least it wasn’t an expensive dinner.

We sat down at a table by the window, and I blew on my cup to let it cool a bit. “So what have you been up to? I’m surprised you came back.”

Togami’s resigned expression didn’t change. He pushed his white-framed glasses back in place before replying. “I had my reasons for leaving. But yes, I’m back in town for an indefinite amount of time.”

Despite the ‘indefinite’ he squeezed in, I felt a spark of hope light up inside me. I’d at least like to see him again, hang out with him outside the confines of Hope’s Peak Academy. I wanted to get to know him again, but it all depended on how he felt about it since he was the one who had left town before, and as he said — he had his reasons for it.

Togami and I conversed for a while; we talked about what we’d been up to in the past year and talked about some of our memories of our time at Hope’s Peak. I was unconsciously tiptoeing around the subject; everyone was sensitive to our old high school in some way — and I didn’t know what would make Togami back off. I couldn’t forget the stinging feeling in my chest, reminding me that he seemed to have completely forgotten about what almost happened there two years ago. He talked as if he had no memory of the fact, despite us having gotten our memories back thanks to the Future Foundation a year prior, and I did my best to hide the way I felt.

“Do you work on Saturdays, too, Naegi?” he suddenly asked.

I blinked twice, confused. “What? No, er, I only work Monday through Friday. Why?”

Togami stood up from his spot with a faint smirk on his lips. “Good. Follow me, then.”

We exited the coffee shop and I followed closely behind him as he walked. I wanted to ask him where he was taking me, but knowing him — he’d probably just tell me to trust him and keep walking with my mouth shut. So I did.

Togami finally stopped, and I realised we were outside the park. Slightly confused, I looked around and turned my eyes toward him. “The park?”

He sighed impatiently. “I wanted to talk to you about something I didn’t want those pesky commoners at the coffee shop to hear.”

For some reason, that made my heart race in my chest. I raised my eyebrows, trying to look as casual as possible. “Okay. What is it?”

He crossed his arms, exhaling slowly, and the low voice almost frightened me. “I’m sure you’ve heard about her, too, am I right?”

“What?”

“Fukawa”, he said, the annoyance in his facial expressions growing stronger. I turned to look at the park. “Yeah, we heard about it this morning.”

“ _We?_ ” he said, slightly confused. I realised, since he hadn’t been in town for a year, he probably didn’t know a single thing about what had happened to the rest of us. And I wasn’t sure he’d even care if he knew, anyway.

“Aoi and Yasuhiro spent the night at mine and Kyouko’s place last night. Aoi read the news on her phone this morning and told us about it.”

The smirk found its way back onto his lips. “Heh, so you live with Kirigiri now.”

“It’s not what you think”, I replied. He shrugged. “You don’t really need to explain yourself to me, Naegi.”

_Oh, but I do._

“Well, since you don’t have anything else planned, come back to my place for a bit”, he said and turned to start walking again.

“Oh, sure”, I said, ignoring the hammering of my heartbeat.

He didn’t live too far away from the park — about a two minute walk or so. As I had suspected, he didn’t live in the Togami mansion anymore. I didn’t want to inquire about it, at least not right now. Maybe there’d be time for that later, if he wanted to see me again, that is.

Togami lived in an apartment complex that seemed to be a hundred stories tall. I must have looked pretty shocked as we walked into the foyer, because he laughed and looked at me. “You seem intimidated, Naegi.”

“It’s just… huge. How many floors are there?” He shrugged. We walked into the lift, and there was even a guy operating it. As expected of the heir of the richest family in Japan. “It’ll do. Forty, but forty-one with my floor.” I turned to him with widened eyes. “Your floor, as in…?”

I didn’t have to wait long for the answer as he proceeded to press the PH-button. PH as in…

“You have the penthouse apartment?!”

He snorted at my reaction. “Yes, I do. Jeez, Naegi — your reactions are as extravagant as ever.”

When I realised I’d raised my voice, I stared down at my feet, feeling my cheeks burn. We stood in silence for the rest of the ride up to the top floor, and I flinched as we came to a stop and the lift signalled its arrival at our destination with a _ding_.

We walked out, and as we did, I realised we were now walking on white marble floor, instead of the light brown parquetry on the bottom floor. Togami reached into his pocket and took out a brass key. He let me in first, and as I walked in, my jaw dropped. It was an enormous apartment, obviously — but the interior design was what really blew me away. Several mahogany bookshelves were lined along the wall in the living room; there were portraits and paintings decorating the walls, and even a fireplace. The kitchen had an isle in the middle, a stovetop, and chairs along the outsides of the isle.

I almost forgot to take off my shoes amidst the admiration of Togami’s apartment, and when I snapped back into reality, I quickly made sure not to forget the shoes.

“Excuse me”, I said as I walked in.

Togami laughed shortly. “You don’t have to be so polite around me, Naegi.”

I felt my cheeks get hot. “Oh, er, sorry.”

I walked into the apartment and my jaw dropped even further, surprisingly not making it all the way down to the floor.

“Impressed?” he said, sounding amused at my reactions. “Uh-huh”, I managed as I continued inspecting his apartment.

“Do you want anything to drink? Tea, coffee, soda?” he asked from the kitchen.

“I’ll just have a glass of water”, I replied.

“Suit yourself. Don’t be afraid to sit on my sofa as long as you don’t plan on making it dirty”, Togami continued.

So I sat myself down and waited for him to return, and as I did, I looked up on the paintings and portraits on the walls. There were family portraits, mainly, but some were vacation photos as well. It was interesting to see his family, as I’d never had the chance to meet them before. Togami returned to the living room with my glass of water, and a cup of tea for himself. He sat down on the sofa and leaned back with his cup in hand.

“Most of them aren’t around anymore”, he said. I felt my heart sink when I realised what he meant.

The incident that had occurred during our imprisonment at Hope’s Peak had involved total chaos all over Japan where members of Super High School Level Despair had killed thousands, if not tens of thousands, of people for the sake of spreading despair. I knew far too well how much damage it had caused — my own family had been victims of it.

“I’m sorry”, I said.

He set his cup back on the table. “Don’t be. You’re in the same boat, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I know, but… still.”

It was still hard to think about, and the biggest reason why I could never return to my family’s old apartment. I hadn’t even set foot in it after we’d escaped the academy – the Future Foundation offered to help me get my things so I could move elsewhere. They were the ones who had helped me and Kyouko to get our apartment, after all.

A year had gone since we left Hope’s Peak, three years had gone since I last saw my family alive. After learning that what Junko had told us was actually true, I couldn’t really react to it in any other way than be incredibly enraged.

She had kept us locked up in that school for those years, forcing us to kill each other if we wanted to get out, and as the killing ‘slowed down’, she threw incentives at us that were supposed to remind us of the possibility of escaping hell.

After we’d gotten out of the academy, I hadn’t taken the time to properly grieve my family’s death. I still hadn’t; I was so preoccupied with work, trying to make enough to pay rent and eat enough every day.

I still had nightmares and the occasional panic attacks, though. The Future Foundation told us it would be normal, and suggested we’d go see a therapist to deal with our problems. Which obviously never happened in my case — Kyouko hadn’t done it, either.

“So what made you come back?” I asked Togami. He furrowed his eyebrows, but only slightly, making it nearly unnoticeable.

“It’s a family-thing”, he replied. “What, I thought you were over the moon to see me back, why are you so questioning now?”

The way he put it was a little exaggerated, but I let it slide. “I’m not, really — I just wondered why you were suddenly back in town after a year. I—“

I stopped myself so I wouldn’t let my mouth speak before my brain had time to think twice. Togami raised an eyebrow. “What, Naegi?”

Shaking my head, I looked down at my glass of water. “Nothing, it wasn’t important.”

I could still feel his eyes on me, but I didn’t look up. I heard him click his tongue. “I can still read you like a book, brat. Don’t act like it’s nothing.”

I sighed, placing my glass back on the table. “I’m just really glad you’re back, that’s all”, I said. At least I wasn’t lying.

Togami finished his cup of tea and placed his cup on the table next to my empty glass. I thought he was going to take them out into the kitchen as he got up, but was completely caught off guard when he suddenly sat next to me and lunged forward. A gasp escaped my lips just before he kissed them shut, bringing his arms around me to pull me closer.

I put my slightly trembling hands on his back, forcing myself back into reality and returned his aggressive kisses. Togami’s tongue forced my mouth open and found its way in, fondling my own tongue and making me gasp again, for air, and out of sheer surprise. I had no idea what was going on, but at the same time — whatever it was, I didn’t want it to stop.

He let go of my waist, but only to put his hand on my chest and push me down on the sofa. He kissed my neck, bit playfully at my collarbone, making me let out a faint moan. I could literally feel the smirk on his lips as he continued kissing me, pulling my shirt up to let his long, slender fingers run along my abdomen with such a sensitive touch that it sent a shiver through my entire body.

There used to be a silence in the room, but it was punctured by our breaths, moans and shuffling around on the sofa. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and let out yet another moan as he’d pushed against my already raging boner. I realised he was having one, too, and it made me all the more excited. I pulled him down, wanting to be enveloped by him, feel his scent, his fingers and his lips… I felt a feeling similar to greed growing stronger as I kissed his neck and bit his earlobe playfully. “N-Naegi…” he moaned, digging his nails into my arms. It felt like a fire was burning inside me, I felt hot all over and the red blushing all over my body was testament to what I was feeling.

Suddenly, as if someone had flipped a switch, Togami stopped. He sat up again, straightening his cross-tie, and got off me. He turned his back to me.

“I think you need to leave.”

What? Did I do something? What did I do wrong? I sat up, confused, and pulled down my shirt again.

“What happened?” I asked.

He got up from the couch, still with his back turned to me. “Just… get out. Okay? Go.”

Completely baffled and speechless, I got up from the couch and walked towards the hall.

So many thoughts were racing through my mind as I put on my shoes, nothing even felt real – maybe it had all just been a dream? Would I wake up in my bed at home soon, eat breakfast and get ready to _actually_ go see Togami? I turned around at the door and opened my mouth to ask him if I’d at least get to see him again, but stopped myself in the last second and shut the door behind me.

 

*

 

The walk back home felt like it took over an hour. I felt like I was going to collapse; my body refused to cooperate and just wanted to shut down, but I had to make it back to the apartment before I could give in to its will.

As I came in through the door, Kyouko greeted me half-heartedly from the sofa.

“Hey. How’d it go?”

I placed my shoes in the corner, walked inside and dropped down on the couch next to her. As I did, I felt my shoulders starting to tremble, and I finally broke down. It seemed to have startled her, because Kyouko flinched a little as tears started falling down my cheeks. She calmly wrapped her arms around me, and I rested my head on her shoulder, unable to stop crying.

“What happened, Makoto?” she said after a while. It had been silent between the two of us for at least five minutes, aside from the sound of me crying and sniffling. I wiped my nose with the back of my hand.

“I don’t even know the answer to that myself”, I said with a cracked voice. “It started off so well, but then he started kissing me and—“

“Wait, what? He _kissed_ you? Togami?!”

I almost felt offended by how surprised she sounded, but didn’t comment on it. Instead, I just nodded slowly.

“So… you kissed, and then what?”

“He suddenly stopped, like he’d remembered or realised something, and then he told me to leave. What could I do? I didn’t really want to argue about it, so I just… left.”

I could still see the passion and desire in his eyes extinguish like you’d blown out a candle. The image was still so vivid in my mind that if I closed my eyes, I could probably still see him in front of me.

We went to sleep early that night. It was a Saturday, yet we were in bed by ten. I barely touched my dinner, but Kyouko probably expected it anyway. She put it in a plastic container and put it in the fridge instead, and then we laid on the couch watching something on TV before heading to bed. Kyouko put one arm around my waist and pulled me closer. It was almost completely dark in the room except for the little crevice of light coming from the uncovered part of the window. She put her other hand on my head, tilting it down so I was resting it in the crook of her neck.

“Thanks, Kyouko. I don’t know how I’d cope without someone here with me.” I sighed, deeply, noticing how shaky my breath still was. My eyes were puffy and irritated, my nose was stuffed — I was an absolute mess. How did this happen in the span of less than an hour?

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve always been there for me, and I’ll always be here for you, too. I love you, okay? Don’t let that stuck up idiot ruin things for you, there are others who appreciate you for who you are.”

I tried smiling, but it probably looked awful. “Yeah. I love you too.”

She closed her eyes, sighed, and kissed the top of my head. “If I ever see that bastard I’m going to kick him in the shin.”

I managed to laugh a little. “You probably don’t wanna do that.”

She shook her head lightly, her face stern. “No, I’m pretty sure I do. I’ve wanted to punch him in the face since we went to Hope’s Peak — that should tell you something.”

If I hadn’t had all these feelings for him for so long, maybe my reaction wouldn’t have been nearly as strong, and the aftermath as devastating. I thought I’d finally gotten him back into my life, and then he practically slammed the door in my face, leaving me clueless as to whether I’d actually get to see him again. Maybe I’d see him out and about, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dream of daring to go up to him after this.

I had a nightmare that night; I dreamt of watching my family sitting on that couch we’d had for as long as I could remember, waving towards the camera that filmed them. They were saying stuff, encouraging words that were directed towards me. Wishing me good luck at Hope’s Peak Academy, saying how proud they were of me. They were smiling, looking happy.

The screen flickered, and the next scene showed our couch completely ripped apart, my family were nowhere to be seen. It was the same nightmare I’d had several times before, of that video Monokuma had showed me as an incentive to kill a classmate.

I woke up, drenched in sweat, hyperventilating and crying. Kyouko had woken up just a little while before me, and she once again leaned my head against the crook in her neck, stroking my hair until I calmed down and fell back asleep.


	5. Reluctance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto spends some quality time with Kyouko and visits the graveyard in an attempt to try and get Byakuya out of his head. It's proving very ineffective, however.

I woke up to a tray of various breakfast foods being placed in front of me, and Kyouko sat down by my side, grabbing a sandwich.

“Morning”, she said.

I grabbed the tray and sat up, placing it back down again. “Hey”, I said back, “what time is it?”

She looked at her phone on her nightstand. “Right about ten. How are you feeling?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Fine, maybe.”

She chewed on her sandwich, and then spoke again. “I don’t expect you to feel fantastic. Just hoping it feels a little better today. Does it?”

“Not really. Well, I… don’t really feel anything. It’s weird, isn’t it? I’m usually the weak wimp out of all of us.”

Kyouko shook her head. “Don’t bother questioning why you feel — or don’t feel — the way you do. Just know that I’m here if you need me.”

I smiled at her, and realised how much effort I had to put into doing so.

We spent most of the day in bed without bothering to get up or put on decent clothes. We ordered pizza, listened to music and sang terribly to almost every song. We watched films we’d seen a million times before, only to ignore the film completely because we were busy throwing popcorn at each other instead.

“Alright, I’m going to bed”, Kyouko said with a yawn. It was already a quarter past ten, and the sun was just about to set. She pulled the curtains shut in the living room before she went into the bathroom, and I got up from the couch.

After making myself ready for bed, I slipped under the now cold covers. Kyouko came in shortly after, braiding her hair. I raised my eyebrows in surprise, and she noticed.

“It’s different, isn’t it? I’m probably just going to sleep like that, it’ll straighten itself out after I shower tomorrow morning anyway.”

I shrugged. “You should try that more often, it suits you.”

She sat down on the bed and came under the covers as well. “Maybe”, she replied. “Let’s get some sleep so we won’t fall asleep at work tomorrow.”

Mondays were the second to busiest days of the week after Fridays at the minimart. Aoi and I took turns standing behind the register or stocking shelves. Thankfully it was only a minimart — if it had been bigger, we definitely wouldn’t have made it on our own. We worked from eight to three, and then there were two others taking over after us from three to nine when we closed up shop.

On rare occasions, we’d had to switch shifts, but it usually didn’t bother me as long as I got to work period. The manager was usually in his office, but came in occasionally to help customers find what they were looking for, or to just make sure things were going smoothly. He was a really good man; not too strict but still had that kind of authority to make you do as he says without hesitation.

The week went on like any other week. Well, if it wasn’t for that ache I constantly had in my chest, the voice in the back of my head that kept reminding me of that day. I had still managed to get through the week without any major problems aside from the occasional nightmare, to which Kyouko had woken up as usual, without complaining, and just sat with me until I fell asleep again.

There were dreams of him, too. Dreams that basically repeated what had happened at his apartment, sometimes only slightly altered, sometimes completely different but with the same message — I had found him again, but ultimately he shut the door on me.

I felt bad for Kyouko who had to put up with me every night, so one Saturday night three weeks after the incident, as I had made sure she was asleep, I took my pillow and a blanket out of the drawers and headed for the living room couch. I needed to get these nightmares sorted out somehow, but I had no idea what to do. It was driving me crazy, and it made me feel guilty for forcing Kyouko to wake up to my twitching, tossing and turning and the occasional panic-crying. Sometimes I felt like she was _too_ good of a friend, and I didn’t deserve her.

It felt weird not having her beside me, though. The sofa gave me very limited moving room, but I coped with it. Somehow I managed to fall asleep rather quickly after having made myself somewhat comfortable on the couch. It didn’t last long before my phone vibrated violently beside me on the coffee table and forced me awake like I’d been stung by a bee. It was a text message, and I dropped the phone on the floor as I read it, and whom it was from.

 **Togami-kun** :

_I need to see you._

I lay on my side as I stared down at the still glowing display of my phone. At first, I didn’t want to reply, but then a hot flame of anger ignited inside me, and I picked up my phone, typing away a reply that I hoped would shut him up.

 **You** :

_Why? I don’t need to see you. I don’t want to see you, either._

Not even a minute after I had sent my reply, I got another text. I sighed irritatingly.

 **Togami-kun** :

_Let me explain._

Explain _what_?! Why he had suddenly stopped making out with me and just forced me to leave his apartment? I could figure out the answer to that one myself. Either he got bored or he got scared. Either way I didn’t want to deal with any of it. I felt anger flare up within me, and I started typing away a rather long reply.

 **You** :

 _What the hell is wrong with you?! I waited a year — a year! — for you to come back and then you do come back, and throw this in my face? Fuck off, I don’t need this. I rarely say this — but I know don’t deserve it, either. I may have been your obedient little dog when we went to Hope’s Peak, but things are different now, I’m different. You would’ve noticed if you had actually been around_.

I threw my phone onto the table again, trembling with rage. Fortunately, it didn’t disconnect the charger as I had thrown it away. I put my pillow over my head and forced my eyes shut, trying to fall asleep quicker. I heard a buzzing noise after a few minutes, but decided to ignore it. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep and didn’t wake up until Kyouko woke me up the next morning.

“Why’d you sleep on the couch?”

She was leaning over me with a toothbrush in her mouth, but backed a bit as I sat up. I folded the blanket and got up from the couch. She’d already showered when I got up – it reminded me of the old days at Hope’s Peak when she used to be the same, always went from waking up to having showered and gotten dressed in under ten minutes, and she was always immaculate about it somehow.

“I feel bad for constantly waking you up, so I wanted to help you get some sleep for once”, I said, walking into the bedroom to put the blanket back in the drawer. “Have you had breakfast yet?”

She gave me a light slap in the back of my head as I came out, and laughed at my puzzled frown. “Don’t worry about me, Makoto. I can fall asleep quicker than you can say apple pie. Don’t try that, by the way. I really don’t mind — I want to be there for you. Also, it’s really cold when you’re not in the same bed, so don’t sleep on the couch again or I’ll have to come and sleep on top of you, okay? And yes, I’ve had breakfast. Sorry.”

Kyouko laughed again as my cheeks turned red. “Don’t laugh! Okay, I’m sorry, I’ll sleep in the bed from now on. I just feel bad, that’s all.”

I then realised that it was Sunday, and that’s when it hit me that it was odd she’d be getting dressed already, it wasn’t even ten in the morning.

“Are you going somewhere?” I continued. She nodded once. “Gonna go get some groceries and run a few errands. Apparently someone at work had screwed up and I need to clean up their mess.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “On a Sunday? Bit extreme, isn’t it?”

“Detectives don’t take breaks”, she shrugged, but then smiled.

“Hey, do you want company to the minimart?” I asked her before she had a chance to leave. She waved her hand dismissively. “I’m going out anyway, don’t worry about it. I don’t know when I’ll be back since I don’t know exactly how much they’ve screwed up at the office — but I’ll call you when I’m on my way.” I nodded as a sign of confirmation, and she was out the door.

The sudden silence was unnerving. I tried eating breakfast, but could only stomach a piece of toast and a glass of orange juice. I sat on the couch, fidgeting, going mad with my thoughts. I realised I hadn’t read whatever pathetic reply Togami sent me the night before, and I decided to deal with it now rather than having to think about it constantly until I did it at a later time.

 **Togami-kun** :

_You might not believe it, but I’m trying to change, too. Give me a chance. I just want to talk._

That did it. I stood up and hurled my phone at the wall with such force that it opened and the battery flew out.

“Tch.” I clicked my tongue in annoyance. I couldn’t be bothered with it, instead I decided to go out and take a walk – clear my mind and most of all, calm myself down. I had gotten so worked up over just that one message, I even scared myself with the reaction.

 

*

 

Getting some fresh air was a good idea. I almost instantly felt better as I stepped out of the apartment and got away from the area. I absentmindedly walked past the coffee shop I’d met him at that day, and I clenched my fists so hard my nails dug into my skin and made it sting a bit.

I’d probably walked for about half an hour without any specific destination before I heard someone calling my name.

“Naegicchi! Hey, over here!” Yasuhiro ran up to me, looking as cheerful as ever.

“Hey, Yasuhiro, what’s up?” I said as he finally stopped in front of me.

He grinned and pointed behind him, and I spotted a waving Aoi in the distance. “We’re heading to the graveyard, wanna tag along?”

That was when I noticed the flowers Aoi was holding in her free hand.

I hadn’t been to the graveyard in a few months. Partly because of work, partly because I still couldn’t handle seeing my family’s tombstone in there. People used to say that the worst thing is for a parent to outlive their child, but for me to outlive my entire family including my three year younger sister was… the ultimate punishment. I made a mental note not to stay too long as we approached the outside of the graveyard.

Aoi walked up to a tall, black marble gravestone, engraved “ _Sakura Oogami, the greatest fighter there ever was. You are missed_.” I stood in front of it, closed my eyes and put my hands together. Whenever I came here I usually had incense sticks and a lighter, but seeing as this was a spontaneous visit, this would have to do for now.

Sakura and I were pretty close; she had been a very good friend whom I could talk to about most anything. She was a very level-headed, kind girl who had been treated very unfairly because of her intimidating size, being the Super High School Level Fighter. She was the best fighter in mixed martial arts in all of Japan, having even surpassed her own father.

It was thanks to Sakura’s sacrifice that the mutual killing at Hope’s Peak had ended. It had made us realise that we weren’t enemies and that we were in fact allies, standing united to try and take down the mastermind.

We paid visits to our family graves, but did so individually. I stood in front of my family grave, engraved with my last name, and below it, the names of my father, mother and sister. I clenched my fist, trying to fight back the tears. “I miss you, and I love you all so much. You were taken away from me too soon, and I think about you every day.”

I couldn’t bear saying much more than that, so I quickly walked away and met up with the other two at the exit.

We said goodbye after having talked for a little while, and I walked back home. As I walked away from the graveyard, I was actually glad to have gone in there and visited my family’s grave. It lifted a small burden off my chest, and I vowed to myself that I’d visit them more often from now on.

With the graveyard visit still on my mind as I got up the stairs to our apartment, I didn’t notice the tall, blond figure standing outside our door until I actually got up there and was fishing for my keys in my pocket. I froze in said motion.

“What… are you doing here?” I hissed through gritted teeth.

He had a serious, almost bitter, look on his face, and his lips formed a thin, straight line. “I told you I needed to talk to you.”

“And I thought I told you I didn’t need to talk to you! Why are you always so fucking selfish?!”

I realised how I’d raised my voice as someone down on the street was staring up at me. I exhaled slowly. “Get out of my face”, I said curtly and unlocked the door to the apartment. I was desperately hoping for Kyouko to be back already, but judging by how she had sounded earlier, it would probably take a few hours at best.

I was just about to go inside as Togami put his hand on my wrist, gripping it lightly, but with a determination I found too familiar, and not to mention unwelcome, especially now. “Let go of me.”

“Naegi… please.”

What was that? A ‘ _please_ ’? I’d never heard him say such a thing before. It was always a demand that came out of his mouth, never a request, never anything that he considered to be “below him”.

“Fine. I’ll let you in, but I’m kicking you out the second you as much as start to piss me off”, I muttered and went in before him.

We removed our shoes and walked into the living room in silence. He’d never been in mine and Kyouko’s apartment before, obviously, and I was almost curious to hear what rude things he had to say about it. It was really small, but could fit four people, maybe five if someone did like I did the night before — slept on the couch. I sat myself down on the couch and watched him stand near the coffee table with his arms crossed, but his eyes betrayed him and made him look like a lost teenager who had been rebelling against his parents.

I fought back a smirk. “What are you doing? Is it too filthy for you to sit?”

It almost felt like our roles were reversed from how they were at Hope’s Peak, and it amused me to no end. He said he was trying to change, but to _this_ extent… It seemed like far too much effort. Which was also unexpected — Togami was never the one to put in effort since he always demanded others did things for him.

He sat down without saying a word, leaving plenty of space between us. Good, I preferred it that way. Togami placed his hands in his knees, and breathed deeply before speaking, looking directly into my eyes.

“Naegi, I’m sorry for what happened that day, I really am. I was afraid, and I pushed you away for the same reason I left in the first place. I left because I was afraid of getting close to you, it was an extremely unfamiliar feeling and I didn’t know how to react. My family is— _was_ , very strict about relationships that didn’t involve a man and a woman, and I was raised to have the same kind of thinking.

“I’m not going to blame my family for everything, I was to blame, too. I hid my insecurity behind a mask and acted just the way my family would’ve wanted. To see others as lowly insects because we were the Togami clan destined to ‘rule the entire country’. The rules of my family were hundreds of years old, and it became more evident the older I got that I simply could not live under those standards.

“I tried talking back, telling my father how wrong this was, how we should instead embrace the present time and stop dwelling on the past just because our family tree extended over a hundred years and had always had the same rules and guidelines. My father scolded me, he even beat me for speaking like that to him — for having an opinion that didn’t fit his mould.

“I know that I’m at fault. Ever since Sakura Oogami sacrificed herself to stop the mutual killing within the walls of Hope’s Peak — you probably recall me swearing I wouldn’t participate in that sick, twisted game anymore. I didn’t tell you how I’d also vowed to myself that I’d try to change, learn to be more open-minded. I still am, I’m trying my best.”

He fell silent and let his gaze drop to the floor with a heavy sigh. I didn’t know how to react, what to say. I felt a bit bad for being sceptic — but it was difficult, considering how manipulative he used to be. And who’s to say that this wasn’t all an act, too?

“I don’t know what to think”, I finally said after being quiet for a while. “You say all this, but the way you’ve acted up until now contradict everything you’ve just told me. What do you expect of me? To jump into your arms again and forgive you, make a fool out of myself, only to be rejected all over again and have to repeat these painful weeks? Do you have _any_ _idea_ how I’ve felt during this time? On top of battling with panic attacks and nightmares, I’ve had to deal with a chest pain that was caused by you. I’m lucky to have Kyouko in the same apartment, otherwise I’d be surprised to have lived for so long.”

There was a hint of fear in Togami’s sky blue eyes as he looked back at me, and it stung in my chest to see, but I refused to let that throw me off balance now that I was high on adrenaline and still felt the faint spark of fury inside me. I was on a roll for once, and it felt fantastic to have the upper hand, to be in charge of the situation. Maybe this was how _he_ felt most of the time.

“What do you mean by that last part?” he asked. I shook my head, feeling mentally tired. “It doesn’t matter. Forget about it.” I didn’t owe him anything anyway.

“Naegi, you’re right — I have no idea what you’ve gone through these past few weeks. On the other hand, you don’t know how _I’ve_ felt, either. It wasn’t that I pushed you away willingly, the family morals are still rooted deep inside me and I’m trying desperately to get that poison out of my system. I’m asking you to believe me, you know very well that I don’t do these things on a whim.”

“Or at all”, I muttered under my breath. Togami narrowed his eyes slightly, but only for a second, before he continued speaking. “I don’t expect you to believe me right away. That’s why I’m asking you to give me a chance to set things straight, make things right for once. I was an— an ass back at Hope’s Peak, I really was — but I’m trying to change. I’m trying to break free from the shackles my family still has put on me. I’m trying to run away from them to be my own person, finally.”

Togami, break free from his own family? I found that hard to believe. Part of his family had survived the incident that occurred when we were locked up inside Hope’s Peak Academy; they had somehow gotten word of how the catastrophe was spreading, and they fled the country until we finally took down the mastermind behind it all, effectively putting an end to the reign of despair. Now that it was all over, most of his remaining relatives moved back to Japan, and I guess he still was under their control.

“I don’t know”, I said after a while. “I don’t know whether I’m ready to give you a chance to shatter my heart and confidence again.” He furrowed his eyebrows slightly. “I wouldn’t put it that way. I want to make things _right_ , not make you feel miserable and unhappy. By making things right, that would include trying to make you happy, too. Not just you — I want to start over completely, with everyone. Which is why I even gave Asahina my number in the first place, I wanted to get in touch with you guys again, and I knew she’d give you my number, too.”

Had he asked me at the coffee shop a few weeks prior to give him a chance, I would’ve probably jumped on it without much further consideration. Maybe I should’ve been thankful for this since it gave me a chance to see things from a different, less biased perspective.

I felt something flutter in my stomach as he said he’d thought about me when he gave his number to Aoi, but I quickly disregarded the thought.

“I still can’t make a decision on a whim, I need time to think. It’s ironic, huh? I was the one who was put on hold at first, and now it’s the other way around.”

Togami smiled vaguely, but his eyes seemed distant. “I guess you really have changed.”

I shrugged. “It wasn’t a forced thing, it just happened, I suppose. I guess we all did somehow, after all, it’s only natural.”

God, I felt like such a prick. I just couldn’t let down my guard, let him in again — there was something inside me screaming at me to be careful. So the only possible option was to take time to think and once again be separated from him. But this time, it would be _I_ who wanted it, and not him (or, well — his family, if I was to believe that).

He stood up, probably realising he wouldn’t get an answer from me right then, and I stood up as well. “Think about it, okay? Just… call me. Even if you don’t want to give me another chance, just call me to tell me no.”

“Yeah, okay”, I said and followed him to the door, watching him discreetly as he put on his shoes. An internal conflict had suddenly started like a raging fire; one side telling me to grab his collar and pull him in for a kiss — the other side told me to just leave it and let him go for now. So I did, I was a good boy and stayed obedient to that other side.

He stood up and rested his hand on the door handle. “I wasn’t even sure what it was that I felt for you until about a week ago when I realised how much I actually missed having you around. I’ve always found you interesting, and I think you know that.”

With that, he opened the door and walked out. As soon as he had closed it behind him, I locked the door, slid to the floor with my back against the wall and broke down in tears.


	6. Resolve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto does everything in his power in order to not have to make the decision on whether to give Byakuya a second chance or not. Soon enough, his own deadline creeps up on him and he's forced to take action.

As if on cue, just about five minutes after Togami had left, Kyouko unlocked the door and came in. Her eyes immediately fell to me sitting on the floor, and it was like the light went out in her eyes. “What did he do?” I couldn’t respond, my voice cracked at the smallest attempt at trying to speak.

“Makoto? Tell me what happened. Did you talk to him? Say something, please — you’re worrying me.”

I nodded, trying to take deep breaths. “H-he came over”, I managed to say after a few seconds.

She furrowed her eyebrows; her eyes looked like she could kill the first person to stand in her way. “Give me your phone.”

“What?”

Kyouko rolled her eyes at my feigned stupidity. “I said, give me your phone. Now.”

I could do nothing but comply as I fished my phone out of my pocket. She browsed for a bit and tapped around, possibly having found Togami’s number. I didn’t really want to be around for this; I knew it was going to turn out really bad.

“Togami? Hey, it’s me. Recognise my voice? Yeah. Been a while, hasn’t it?”

I shuddered as I heard her speak; hate was seeping through every word she uttered, and the look she had on her face could easily turn a hoard of raging bulls around and make them run for their lives. If I _was_ going to give Togami a second chance, he certainly wouldn’t want to come back after this, anyway.

“So first off, how did you find out where we live? You know that’s considered stalking, right? Oh yeah, you and your _connections_ ”, Kyouko hissed. She was downright scary; I had never seen her like this. In a way, I felt moved by how far she went to be there for me. She was like an older sister, yet she was a few months younger than me and only slightly taller. I didn’t mind it, though, seeing how I’d only had a younger sibling. _Had_ …

I pushed myself off the floor to leave her alone to argue with Togami over the phone, but she quickly grabbed the hem of my shirt sleeve as a signal for me to stay. I felt awkward just standing there, but she grabbed my hand, and I felt a little better. Well, considering the circumstances — I wouldn’t say _better_ , but only slightly less uncomfortable. In a way, I was curious to know how Togami would react, and what she’d say to him.

“Listen. I know you panicked that time and sent Makoto off. What? Yeah, I am. I’ve lived with him for a year — why wouldn’t I? Would you stop getting hung up on details? Jeez, Togami — you must lead a very dull life.”

I couldn’t help but smile at that one. I had always admired her way with words, her way with coming up with things on the spot, she was always confident in speaking. Seeing how she was right nine and a half time out of ten, she had all the good reason to be confident.

Kyouko led me into the living room and we sat down on the couch as she continued her verbal fight with Togami. She had calmed down a bit, now speaking in a normal tone, which relieved me — partly because I didn’t want the neighbours to come knocking and wondering what was going on.

“If you don’t want me to take sides, you should’ve thought about that before you took off a year ago. Oh? Then tell me. Really? You’d do that? You’re not scared of me, are you?”

I had no idea what they could be talking about now. I glanced at her curiously, and she met my eyes with a quick smile. “Alright, then. Yeah, don’t worry your thick head with that. I’ll be there at twelve.” She hung up and returned my phone. “So, shall we prepare dinner?”

I was taken aback with her sudden change of mood. “What? But what happened? You can’t just let it slide like nothing happened; I deserve to know.”

Kyouko sighed. “He refused to tell me his side of the story over the phone, so I’m going to meet him tomorrow outside Tully’s when we both have lunch. I’ll try not to punch him, I promise.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. I knew I could never dream of talking her out of it since she was the most stubborn person I’d ever met. I dropped it, and we went into the kitchen to make dinner instead.

 

*

 

“So did you have a good weekend?” Aoi asked as we went out into the minimart together, starting with stocking shelves.

“Yeah”, I lied. “You?”

She shrugged. “Aside from the graveyard visit, it was pretty good. Yasu and I have decided to move in together.” I turned to her, wide-eyed. “Really?! Congrats, that’s amazing!”

Aoi smiled, looking a bit embarrassed. “Thanks, Makoto. Yeah, it still feels a bit surreal. We’re saving up a little more before we _actually_ decide to become cohabitants, but we’ve at least started to look at apartments.”

The two of them had a weird history, to say the least. From their first meeting, they didn’t like each other much at all. Aoi had gone so far as to accuse him of murder, not only once but twice. Well, the first time, he’d been set up – so she wasn’t the only one. But the second time around, when Sakura had committed suicide, he’d only been unlucky to have been at the wrong place at the wrong time.

It wasn’t until after Sakura’s class trial that they started to really bond, bury the hatchet, and put their differences aside. To think it would turn out into something like this – not even the fortune teller himself would’ve been able to foresee it.

The shift went by surprisingly fast as we had a busy, but not stressful, day. It was Monday after all, so it was to be expected that we’d get a little busier that day. We quit work at three as usual and walked back home together, talking about all sorts of things on the way.

I had completely forgotten that Kyouko was supposed to meet Togami at lunch time that day, and was only reminded of it as I came back home to find her in the kitchen in front of the fridge.

“Hey, Makoto, welcome back. How was your day?”

I shrugged. “It was pretty good, actually. Yours?”

By that, I didn’t only mean how her day at work had gone, of course. She poured herself a glass of juice and threw a questioning glance my way, and I just shook my head. “It was okay. Since I managed to sort out the messed up case files and other things yesterday, I had less to do today, so it was okay. I met with Togami for lunch, too. Can you believe he bought me lunch?”

I smiled a little, waiting for her to continue while my heart suddenly started beating faster, eager to hear what she would say. “I hate to admit it, but there’s just something about his story that makes me sort of want to believe him”, she said, sitting down at the table. I sat down in front of her and put my elbows on the table.

“I don’t know if I should believe him, either”, I said, resting my chin in my hands.

“I know you’ve already decided on this, but just take your time. He said it himself, too, that he didn’t mind it if you took your dear sweet time in deciding whether you wanted to give him a chance or not. And I’m all in favour, too. The ball’s on your side of the playing field for once, so just do what _you_ feel is best.”

I put the entire thing with Togami in the back of my head and decided to try and not to think about it for the rest of the week. Gladly, he didn’t call or send me any text messages during that time, either, which would’ve only made things far more difficult.

Instead, I focused on work and spending time with friends; I visited the graveyard again, too – this time with incense sticks and even a bouquet of lilies (they were my mother’s favourite) that I placed on my family’s tombstone. I sat down by their grave for a bit, even, and talked to them as if they’d never left my side. It made me feel a lot better, and I left the graveyard with a little smile on my lips.

 

*

 

It was Wednesday, and I came home to an empty apartment as usual. Kyouko had gotten more things to do at work and took on a more important role within the private detective firm. There weren’t many people working there to begin with, and there were only people who were in some way connected to her family.

She had started taking on more hands-on cases, where she spent more time out of the office rather than sitting inside and sorting or reading through case files, and as a result – she worked more hours and came home late.

I took my shoes and long-sleeved shirt off and flopped down on the couch. I went through the channels on the TV, but didn’t find anything that caught my interest, so I turned it off again and lay on my back to stare up at the ceiling. While pondering about trivial and mundane things, my mind unwillingly trailed off towards _him_ , and I clenched my fist, tight enough to feel my nails dig into the palm of my hand. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and then got off the couch to go out for a walk.

I’d started going out on walks more often, and I hadn’t even realised it until I stepped out of the door again that day. It was great, though, and helped clear my mind. The combination of fresh air and walking through the park to see the lovely scenery, was fantastic. There were children running around and playing in the park, a couple sitting on a bench, talking and laughing. Seeing all of this as I walked by made me feel a lot better.

When I got back home, I decided to do some laundry and clean the place up a bit. Not only for myself, but to make things easier on Kyouko as well. Even though we usually cooked dinner together, I felt like she’d done a lot more for me than the other way around. So whenever I got the chance, I liked to do whatever I could to chip off her workload a bit.

“Hey, this place looks fantastic. Did you clean the apartment?”

Kyouko came home around six, and walked into the kitchen as I was preparing dinner. “Yeah, I didn’t have anything to do anyway.”

She stepped in and ruffled my hair. “Whoa, you made omelette rice? You’re too nice to me sometimes.”

I grinned. “You make it sound like it’s a fancy dinner — it’s really not.”

Kyouko rolled her eyes. “Well, you made me dinner and you cleaned the apartment, let me at least do the dishes.”

I couldn’t tell her I also did the laundry; I’d probably overload her with guilt in doing that, so I kept my mouth shut hoping she wouldn’t notice.

As we had just gone to bed that night, Kyouko turned towards me, leaning her head on her arm. “Hey, have you thought about Togami anything? Like, what answer you’ll give him? It’s been nearly two weeks after all.”

I assumed she took my lack of response as a no. “You really should make a decision. I can’t help you with it, obviously, but I can’t stand seeing this eat you up inside anymore. If you don’t want anything to do with him anymore, see it as closure and tell him so. Otherwise… well, maybe he really _has_ changed and _can_ make things different. You can’t really tell unless you’re willing to take a risk.”

“I don’t know if I want to. Part of me does, but that’s the part I want dead and buried, that’s the part that’s still left in me since Hope’s Peak.”

“If it makes you feel any better about it, I like you the way you are and the fact that you _do_ have that side of you that thinks positively about people. It’s what has always made you the person you are, and frankly — I don’t know anyone who’s disliked that about you.” She sighed, and I noticed how tired she was.

“Fine. I’ll try and come up with something before Friday and call him then.”

She nodded. “Good, or I might have to bash your head in for being so indecisive.” I snorted at that.

I couldn’t really concentrate on work that Thursday, my mind was someplace very far away and Aoi was quick to notice. She slapped me in the back of the head as I had been staring out the window behind the counter for a while. “Hey! What the hell are you slacking off for?”

“Sorry, I didn’t get enough sleep last night”, I lied. She raised an eyebrow, and I thought she wouldn’t accept my pathetic excuse for a second. “Then go take a break and get some caffeine into your system — I don’t really wanna do everything around here.”

I went out the back into the staff bathroom. It was small, but surprisingly clean. Light blue tile floor and cream-white walls made it look bigger than it was. There was a toilet and an excessively large mirror across the wall where the sink was. I washed my face in cold water and went out again to listen to Aoi’s advice and get some coffee. Even if I wasn’t tired, it would at least help me keep my brain working and hopefully not wander off to forbidden areas.

“Seriously, something’s been really off with you today”, Aoi said. We had just clocked out for the day and were heading out the back after getting changed. It’d been a pretty uneventful Thursday, but at least I got paid for mostly just sitting around.

“It’s nothing big”, I tried assuring her, but she didn’t seem impressed.

“The hell it _is_ big, otherwise you wouldn’t be such a mess. I’ve known you for a while, don’t underestimate me.”

I sighed impatiently, giving up trying to lie my way out of it. “I’ve set a deadline for tomorrow, that’s when I have to tell Togami whether I’ll take the bait or tell him to hit the road, okay? I’ve tried getting it out of my head but I guess I can’t and probably shouldn’t since I need to deal with it soon. Kyouko’s apparently going to do my head in if I don’t talk to him.”

She snorted. “Yeah, count me in on that, too. Tell her I said that.”

I both loved and hated how Aoi and Kyouko cared a little bit too much about me, sometimes acting like I was a child. I was their age, I was even months older than the both of them, but somehow I’d ended up becoming their “younger brother” along the way. I loved them both to bits, though — I seriously couldn’t have ended up with better friends than them.

“Hey.” I was greeted by Kyouko’s voice as I came in through the door.

“You’re back already?” I asked her.

She shrugged. “Couldn’t do much at work today, but it seems something big might be going down tomorrow. How was your day?”

“The usual, nothing interesting happened. Aoi berated me over the whole issue with Togami and told me to tell you she’d be more than happy to join you in bashing my head in if I don’t talk to him.”

She laughed. “Good.”

In the shower that evening before I went to bed, I forced myself to think about what I’d do with that hopeless Togami-situation. I had refused to think about it up until that point despite it having gone a few weeks since I told him I needed time to think.

It reminded me of how some people would have weeks to do homework or study for a certain test, but ended up having to rush the night before deadline. I never used to have those problems since I mostly did my homework the same day, or the day after, I took homework with me back from school. I always started studying at least two weeks before a test and only did last-minute revisions to freshen up my mind. It had done me well and I ended up getting decent grades with that work ethic.

I got out of the shower, and Kyouko immediately slipped in through the door behind me. “Finally”, she said, rolling her eyes with a smile as she closed the door.

As I got into the bedroom, I changed into a pair of boxers and slipped under the comforter. I wasn’t too tired yet, so I reached for my phone and browsed the internet for a while, hearing the faint sound of the shower water running in the background.

Kyouko came back after a few minutes, changed into her pyjamas and got in bed, too. “Anything interesting?” she asked.

I shook my head. “Just reading the news, nothing I haven’t heard on the radio at work.”

“Yeah, I read the newspaper at work, too. Funny how we’re both working now, huh.”

“Indeed. I’m glad, though. Not just because you finally got your ass off the couch, but it’s good for you. And for the both of us since it brings in more money.” I smiled a little as I said that, and I knew she was aware of my joke.

She teasingly poked her elbow in my side. “Yeah, I know. Sorry for making you work so hard for the both of us for that long. I’m going to make it up to you somehow. Making dinner more often seems like a good start.”

I smiled. “No complaints about that one — you definitely cook better than I, so I’d be more than happy if you did.”

Kyouko snorted. “Whatever you say. Hey, since I’m gonna be working late tomorrow, I’m probably gonna miss the showdown. Not that I’d want to intrude on it or anything, but I can’t be there for moral support. So, good luck.”

I exhaled slowly, closing my eyes. “Yeah, thanks. Still not sure what to do, what to say.”

“Well, if you want my opinion— wait, do you? Tell me before I continue.” I nodded. “Okay. In my opinion, I think you should give him a chance. And if he fucks up, I’ll personally go to his apartment and kick his ass. I’ll even bring some of the people I work with – they’re very promising in the muscle department.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind. Now sleep. You have a long day ahead of you.”

 

*

 

And Friday came. It felt like the realisation hit me like a brick in the face, even though I’d known this day would come for a while. My body felt like I’d been put in a cement blender and left out to dry overnight — I could barely get out of bed. But eventually I did, and I was greeted by Kyouko who was just about to leave. “Good morning, sleepyhead. I was just heading to work. You gonna be okay today?”

I took the juice carton out of the fridge along with some butter and cheese. “I’ll be fine. I should be asking _you_ the same question. I don’t even know what’s going on.”

She came up to me and hugged me. “I’m going to be okay, I promise. I won’t do anything rash, I’m just doing my job.”

“But that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything rash just because it’s your job. Hell, you use guns in your line of work – and even though I know you’re scarily good at what you do, I still can’t help but worry. I can’t lose you, too.”

Kyouko tensed up a bit as I said that, and I immediately regretted my choice of words. “Don’t worry, Makoto. I’ll be here”, she said, her voice coming out slightly muffled from her face being in my hair. “I won’t leave you.”

I sighed. “I love you, okay?”

“I love you too, silly.” She cleared her throat as she let go, and she was out the door. I finished my breakfast and was out not too long after she had gone. I sighed as I locked the door behind me and started walking down the stairs from the apartment. It was going to be a long and trying day, both physically and emotionally.

I received a call while I was walking towards the minimart, and it turned out to be from a coughing Aoi. “ _I’m sorry, Makoto, I’m not gonna be able to work today. I already talked to the manager, and he’s already gotten someone to cover for me. You’ll be fine, right?_ ”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, don’t worry, just get better soon. I’ll talk to you later.”

“ _Wait, before you hang up_ “, she paused to cough for a few seconds, “ _good luck today._ ”

I smiled a little to myself. “Thanks.”

I got in to work at eight o’clock and was met by one of the girls who usually worked the afternoon shift. “Good morning, Naegi-kun”, she said as I came in.

“Hey, Takayama-san”, I replied. “I hope it wasn’t too much of a bother to switch shifts.”

She shook her head. “It’ll work out better at least today since I had originally turned down a party invitation – but now I can actually go. As much as I feel bad for Asahina-san to be home sick, I was glad to be able to take her shift today.”

Yui Takayama and I had only worked together a handful of times before, so we barely knew each other. Still, we got along well and were able to make conversation pretty easily during the slow hours of the day. Aoi texted me during lunch asking who was taking over for her.

 **You** :

 _Takayama-san was called in_.

 **Aoi** :

_Oh! I’m jealous of you, I kind of want to get to know her; she seems interesting._

**You** :

 _Switch shift with one of those who work with her then._ _Ha ha._

 **Aoi** :

_Very funny. I’m serious!_

I went back to work after finishing my beef udon from the takeaway restaurant down the street. It got significantly busier after our lunch hour, and we were busy helping customers and taking care of the register almost consistently until we could finally clock out at three o’clock.

“See you later, Naegi-kun”, Takayama-san said before she disappeared out the door, apparently in a hurry to catch a ride. Either she lived a fair distance from the minimart or she was heading somewhere else; I hadn’t really bothered to ask since she said she was in a hurry anyway.

I decided to call Aoi on my way back. “How are you feeling?”

“ _Feeling like piss, to be honest. I have a fever, I’m coughing every three seconds and I have a runny nose. I hate being sick!_ ”

“Yeah, I know how you feel. Hey, I talked to Takayama-san before, and she told me to give you her number. Seems like she wants to get to know you, too.”

She gasped before she spoke. “ _Really?! Wow. That’s so cool._ ”

“Do you have a pen?”

I gave Aoi the number and shortly after, we hung up. I was just outside the apartment building as we finished our conversation, and I stood outside for a bit, just taking in the summer air. It was about to become autumn soon, so I wanted to enjoy the heat while it lasted. I had never been fond of the cold temperatures, I was a summer person and loved everything about the warmest season of the year.

As I came in through the door and locked it behind me, I fished my phone out of my pocket, slowly scrolling to find Togami’s number. I sat myself down on the couch and prepared myself for what to say, how to say what I wanted to tell him. I took a deep breath and hit “call”.


	7. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next two chapters will be in Byakuya's POV, re-telling the meeting with Makoto in, obviously, a different point of view. It might sound a little tedious having to re-read some parts over again, and I apologise — but this was very needed for the beginning of (spoilers!) Byakuya's slow change of personality and attitude.

_Byakuya_.

 

Coming back felt very odd. It felt like I’d been living a dream for the past year, and then I was brutally forced back into reality as I rolled down the window and gazed upon the far too familiar surroundings of my previous, and soon to be current, location.

“It’ll be good for you, Byakuya-sama, don’t look so disappointed about being back. Besides, don’t you have friends who still live here?” My driver looked at me in the rear-view mirror as he spoke.

 _Friends_. It was a concept I had never bothered to get familiarised with; I had plenty of people bothering me as it was, I didn’t need others craving for my attention whom I’d have to call “friends”.

I scoffed. “Sure, I know of a few people who live here.”

The man behind the wheel nodded approvingly — as if I needed for him to approve of me. “Very well then.”

And I let that be the end of the conversation, if ‘conversation’ was what you could call it.

Settling into my new apartment wasn’t too big of a deal; people moved my furniture in effortlessly and quickly — it was all done in less than a day. Satisfied, I sat down on my sofa looking around. I could probably get used to living here. When I lived at the mansion, it had always meant there were several limitations on my actions and I constantly had to think about what to say, how to think, stand, sit and eat. Everything had to be perfect, and although I had gotten the hang of it pretty quickly — it exhausted me. I felt like a bird in a cage, looking out through the thin bars, and constantly longing for freedom.

Which was why coming to Hope’s Peak was such a relief. I found people I could trample all over, order them to do things for me, I could act coldly towards them without having to fear getting beaten up over it. Sure, I had been threatened by that guy with the corn cob on his head a few times, but they were all empty threats. But my ‘reign of terror’, as Asahina had put it, took an abrupt end when Sakura Oogami took her life, sacrificed herself, in order to stop the killing within the walls of Hope’s Peak. I decided I no longer wanted to participate in the mutual killing game, and I had made that very clear to the mastermind, while also vowing to destroy the mastermind. Eventually, yes, we did destroy, execute, the mastermind. So I stayed true to my promise, as I knew I would.

I had since the suicide of Sakura Oogami tried to change myself. I realised the error of my ways, and the insight scared me since it meant I had to change as a person. I had always been the same way, the same Byakuya Togami who painted fear across almost every face he passed by — and now that person was essentially going to disappear. Or at least a bigger part of me.

The people who had still remained our personnel after all these years, were still bugging me about starting up business again. I was very reluctant to go back to those incredibly outdated rules and regulations, and even though I knew that I was no longer just a successor, an heir, to the Togami throne as I was now the true ruler of — I didn’t find it all that appealing. And that in itself was warranted to surprise me.

“But what will you do instead? Won’t you carry on the Togami name? What about the companies and corporations you own? Don’t you feel you owe at least a _little_ bit to your father?”

There were so many questions, and I didn’t feel like answering any of them. Especially questions regarding my father. Being the youngest son of our family, and only being one of many, _many_ siblings, I never got much attention from my father. He was married to several women at once and as a result, I had a lot of half-siblings.

We all fought, literally, to become the successor of the “throne” (still makes me sick to say that) of our family. Eventually, I emerged as the victor and thus became the heir of the Togami family. The other siblings were exiled from our family, but we had been taught that they “died” as they were no longer worthy of carrying our surname. Maybe some of them were still out there, I had no idea — and I didn’t know if I wanted to find out.

So for now, I lived on the money left behind by my family, and I didn’t feel a single bit of remorse doing so, as I was entitled to said money and had worked hard for it, too. The few relatives who were still alive had moved out of Japan a long time ago, but some had expressed interest in coming back. I was hoping they’d eventually change their mind, but didn’t say it out loud whenever I spoke to them.

Life was progressing well and I slowly got accustomed to living on my own. It was a big apartment, far too big for one person, but I liked it. I liked the silence, being alone and not having to worry about anyone else being there and having to cater to their needs.

My peaceful days came to a screeching halt one peaceful Tuesday as I received a call from an unknown caller. “Yes, this is Byakuya”, I greeted, realising how bored I sounded.

“ _Hi, Togami-kun… it’s me, Naegi Makoto. Uh… I was just wondering if—_ “

I felt like my heart had dropped down to my stomach. Naegi? _That_ Naegi? Hearing his voice, a pitch lower than I had last spoken to him (and I could only assume it had to do with puberty — he was a bit late, wasn’t he?) caught me off guard and I had no idea what to say. I knew I had to say something, at least.

“Naegi?” I was completely perplexed, and felt panic creep up on me. He had been part of the reason as to why I left — or, if you prefer, _fled_  — town. Despite being back, I wasn’t expecting on really bumping into him anywhere… until I met Asahina. That was when I realised that maybe I should try to get in touch with him again. It was a conflicting feeling of wanting to get to know him again — and at the same time, I wanted to desperately run away again.

But I knew I couldn’t do that anymore, and so I gave her my number, hoping she would eventually pass it on to him. She might’ve been an airhead at times, but I knew she would be able to get that hint, however subtle it was.

“Oh, it’s you. It’s been a while. What is it?”

“ _Are you… back in town?_ ” he asked, sounding like a deer cautiously making its way through the forest in hopes of not becoming another animal’s dinner.

“Yes, I moved back a few weeks ago. Why?”

“ _W—well, I was just wondering if we could meet up. Catch up on stuff… or something._ ”

Although I had sort of expected for him to call me, I wasn’t expecting anything like this. “Okay. Saturday? We can have coffee or whatever it is you drink.”

“ _Oh… okay. Coffee’s fine with me, maybe we could meet at one of the cafés in town._ ”

“Sounds good. When?” I managed to ask him. This was really happening, wasn’t it?

 

*

 

So, Saturday at three, I was going to meet him at Tully’s, some commonplace coffee house that I hadn’t heard of, but I looked it up and realised I didn’t live too far away from it. I spent the rest of that day reluctantly going through old papers and folders regarding the Togami Corporation, contemplating whether to let it all go to my relatives or pick it up again and run it on my own.

We still owned a bunch of industries and companies across the country, and there were too many for me to count on my fingers — so maybe it would be best to just let them all go to someone who could handle them better?

Up until that point, all I had wanted was to have it all to myself, but when it came down to it and I had the chance to do so, I wasn’t sure about it anymore. I was a nineteen year old with the power of more than half of Japan in my hands, having access to secret government material — and it terrified me now. I pushed it aside and by Friday, I still hadn’t touched on the subject. My uncle kept bothering me, sending letters and calling me to ask what I was going to do. They were all like vultures; waiting for me to surrender so that they could snatch it all away from me. Part of me wanted to stall the decision for as long as I could, just to upset them.

Saturday came and I got dressed, had breakfast whilst listening to the city buzz outside my window, and read the newspaper with a cup of coffee. I had a TV, but rarely used it because of the unintelligent, boring things they insisted on showing every day, so most of the time my apartment was pretty quiet. I enjoyed listening to classical music every now and then – especially Debussy — but that morning, I wanted to savour the sounds coming from outside.

I walked down to the coffee shop five minutes to three. The town was bustling with life at this hour; people were heading home from work or school, women were walking around with strollers, some were walking their dogs. It was a nice day out, no doubt — and people took advantage of it.

As I rounded the corner of Tully’s, I saw him. A light brown-haired, rather short boy stood and waited in front of the coffee shop with his hands shoved down his front pockets. As much as I hated to admit it; he looked good. _Really_ good. I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I walked up to him.

“Who are you spying on?” I asked him, and he turned around quickly, like he’d been caught doing something bad. I fought back a chuckle. “Hello, Naegi. Can’t say I’m not surprised you picked such a mundane coffee shop…”

Naegi scratched his head and smiled awkwardly. “Sorry.”

I rolled my eyes; some things never change about that boy, I guess. “It’s fine, let’s just go inside.”

As we were going to order coffee, Naegi wanted to pay for himself, but I refused letting him pay; he probably struggled enough with rent and food every month anyway. Besides, he probably couldn’t afford such luxuries as having coffee every day.

“So what have you been up to? I’m surprised you came back.” We had just sat down, and he blew on his coffee for a bit before tasting it.

I held my cup in my hands, staring out the window. “I had my reasons for leaving. But yes, I’m back in town for an indefinite amount of time.” I said “indefinite”, but I really didn’t have any plans on leaving unless something unexpected came up.

We talked for a bit, just catching up on old things, news and whatnot, and it was rather pleasurable, actually. I didn’t know I’d ever be able to say anything that had to do with him was a pleasure (even though I’d thought it to myself too many times before), but there I was, having coffee and conversing with Naegi again.

“Do you work on Saturdays, too, Naegi?”

He blinked, appearing confused. “What? No, er, I only work Monday through Friday. Why?”

I smirked, although faintly. “Good. Follow me, then.”

We had finished our coffee a long time before exiting the coffee shop, and I started walking with no particular destination in mind, while Naegi followed. This kind of reminded me of the days at Hope’s Peak when I had demanded him to aid me in my investigation to find clues as to who the murderer was. I had partly asked him because he had appeared to be a smart kid; he had almost single-handed solved the first murder case and cleared all suspicion against him being the culprit. I also asked him because I found him _fascinating_ , and I wanted to know more about him.

As we walked, I realised where I wanted to go, and didn’t stop until we reached the place; we had arrived at the town’s biggest park.

“The park?” I heard Naegi say as he stopped beside me. _Obviously, you dimwit._

I sighed impatiently. “I wanted to talk to you about something I didn’t want those pesky commoners at the coffee shop to hear.”

“Okay. What is it?” he asked.

I crossed my arms whilst exhaling, slowly. “I’m sure you’ve heard about her, too, am I right?”

“What?”

“Fukawa.”

There was something resembling a light that went out in his eyes as I mentioned her name. “Yeah, we heard about it this morning.”

Wait, who? That remark had me slightly confused, and I probably wasn’t hiding it very well. “ _We?_ ”

“Aoi and Yasuhiro spent the night at mine and Kyouko’s place last night. Aoi read the news on her phone this morning and told us about it.”

I couldn’t help but smirk. I knew something had happened between the two of them; it had seemed inevitable — they were always together at Hope’s Peak, and if he wasn’t investigating with me, it was with her. At the same time, I felt a sting of jealousy at the fact that he and Kirigiri seemed to be a thing.

“Heh, so you live with Kirigiri now”, I said.

He waved his hands in front of him quickly. “It’s not what you think”, he replied.

I shrugged. “You don’t really need to explain yourself to me, Naegi.” He still didn’t seem pleased with my reaction — maybe I was too transparent?

We stood there for a while, looking at people in the park in silence. After a while, I grew bored of the scenery, and decided to try and change things up a bit. “Well, since you don’t have anything else planned, come back to my place for a bit.”

Naegi seemed surprised at the sudden suggestion, but it didn’t seem to hinder him. “Oh, sure.”

As we stood in the foyer of my apartment complex, I discreetly eyed Naegi from the side. He was looking around for a bit, awkwardly scraping his foot against the hardwood floor. “You seem intimidated, Naegi,” I said after a while, and I couldn’t hide the amusement in my voice.

“It’s just… huge. How many floors are there?”

I shrugged. “It’ll do. Forty, but forty-one with my floor.” He turned towards me with wide eyes, and I could’ve sworn his jaw would drop any second now. “Your floor, as in…?”

I demonstrated by pressing the PH-button, and he gasped. “You have the penthouse apartment?!”

I snorted. Who did he think I was; a commoner with a tiny apartment on the same floor as other people? “Yes, I do. Jeez, Naegi — your reactions are as extravagant as ever.”

We arrived at the forty-first floor and I got the brass key out of my pocket to unlock the door. I let him in first, and awaited his reaction, hiding a smirk as I went in and closed the door behind us. Naegi walked around the apartment for a bit as I steered towards the kitchen. “Impressed?” I asked him.

“Uh-huh”, I heard him say from the living room.

“Do you want anything to drink? Tea, coffee, soda?”

“I’ll just have a glass of water.”

Modest kid, huh. “Suit yourself. Don’t be afraid to sit on my sofa as long as you don’t plan on making it dirty.”

I made myself a cup of tea; whenever I had company or went out, I could never bring myself to just have a glass of water. I liked my tea with one sugar, not too sweet but not too bitter, and preferably piping hot, too. Upon returning to the living room, I noticed how Naegi was looking at the family photos hanging on the walls. I sat down, but didn't look up at them myself.

“Most of them aren’t around anymore.”

He looked at me and took his glass of water. “I’m sorry.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Don’t be. You’re in the same boat, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I know.” The brat was probably just being courteous, maybe I should cut him some slack for once. He took a sip from his glass of water before setting it down. “So what made you come back?”

“It’s a family-thing. What, I thought you were over the moon to see me back, why are you so questioning now?”

He shook his head quickly. “I’m not, really — I just wondered why you were suddenly back in town after a year. I—“

He stopped himself at that, and I wondered what on Earth he would’ve blurted out had he not halted mid-sentence. “What, Naegi?”

He looked down at his hands. “Nothing, it wasn’t important.” Psh, like I would fall for that. I kept my eyes on him, hoping it would make him talk, but it didn’t. I clicked my tongue in annoyance. “I can still read you like a book, brat. Don’t act like it’s nothing.”

“I’m just really glad you’re back, that’s all.”

I don’t know what compelled me to do so, but my feet moved on their own as I sat myself next to Naegi on the couch, and before I knew it — I nearly threw myself over him, it was sickening. yet something I had waited so long to do. My entire body irked, longed for him, and I knew I couldn’t stop myself now that he was finally in front of me again. I practically felt his gasp leave his lips before I shut him up with my own lips over his. I forced my tongue in, and it seemed welcome enough to the point where he went along and our tongues made acquaintances, sliding over and gently fondling each other.

As it went on, I grew impatient, and so I temporarily let go of his waist, only to push him down on the sofa and lay myself on top of him. I was drunk on adrenaline, and I wanted it to show. I kissed, licked and bit him pretty much everywhere I could reach while in that same position, a moan coming from the back of my throat when doing so.

He was so hot, and it only made him hotter when I could hear his increased breathing and heart-rate as I let my fingers run along his abdomen. He wrapped his legs around my waist, and that only made me even more turned on, pushing against his boner with my own to make that little brat realise what the hell he was doing to me. As he pulled me down to bite my earlobe, I heart myself moan his name and I instinctively dug my fingernails into his skin.

But that was when a voice in my head told me to back off. I couldn’t go through with this, I wasn’t ready and I was panicking — even my own reaction scared me. I had wanted to do this to him, with him, for such a long time; to nearly own him like he was my personal goddamn pet… but I couldn’t do it. I wanted to run away again, leave town and never, ever come back. I had made a huge mistake, and I didn’t want to drag him down further than I already had.

I separated myself from him. “I think you need to leave.” It pained me to see his reaction; he was probably blaming himself for something he had no control over – after all, I was the one who had thrown myself over him and not the opposite. He pulled down his shirt again (shame, I loved seeing that bare torso of his).

“What happened?”

I stood up and faced away from him — I just couldn’t look at him because I was so ashamed, so disgusted with myself. “Just… get out. Okay? Go.”

I didn’t look behind me until he had shut the door behind him on his way out. I walked out in the hallway and locked the door, and then I sat down on the couch again. I don’t know for how long I sat there, but eventually I moved from the couch to my bed, and fell right asleep.


	8. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya has the worst, and probably most expensive, ways of running away from his problems. So what else is new?

_Byakuya_.

 

I probably slept for a good ten or eleven hours, but when I woke up, I was still tired. It felt like I had a boulder on my chest; I found it hard to breathe and it took every ounce of energy I had to just take a step. I couldn’t deal with this — I needed to get away. I emailed my cousins in France and notified them I was coming over for a while. I didn’t know how long I was going to stay there — but I would stay there for as long as it took to get rid of these feelings.

As I had trouble sleeping yet again one night, I decided I’d try and do something about it. I leaned towards the nightstand and took out my phone, typing away a text message.

**You:**

_I need to see you_.

I sighed, putting my phone down. The increasing heart rate I suddenly experienced was very unwelcome, and I breathed deeply, slowly, trying to calm myself down.

 **Naegi** :

_Why? I don’t need to see you. I don’t want to see you, either._

His anger was definitely justified — but I had still waited a different response. I exhaled slowly whilst massaging my temples, realising that this would most definitely not be an easy battle for me to win.

 **You** :

_Let me explain._

A few minutes later, his response arrived, and it was a rather long one. It took me by surprise, I had never in my wildest dreams imagined him being able to write like that.

 **Naegi** :

 _What the hell is wrong with you?! I waited a year — a year! — for you to come back and then you do come back, and throw this in my face? Fuck off, I don’t need this. I rarely say this – but I know don’t deserve it, either. I may have been your obedient little dog when we went to Hope’s Peak, but things are different now, I’m different. You would’ve noticed if you had actually been around_.

 **You** :

_You might not believe it, but I’m trying to change, too. Give me a chance. I just want to talk._

I sat up for a while, waiting for his response, but eventually got so tired that I gave up and fell asleep. Maybe he’d reply by the next morning, I secretly hoped. But as I should’ve probably expected — there was no response.

I grew impatient and felt I couldn’t sit around waiting for a response I might not even have gotten in the first place. Not that I really deserved it, either. I started my computer and began looking up where he lived. With my connections and having access to documents and data that normal people didn’t — it wasn’t very difficult to find their address. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, called my driver to come and pick me up, and I headed out the door.

Upon arriving at my destination, I exited the car, mumbled a quick “thanks” before I shut the door and began exploring my surroundings. It was definitely a less privileged and luxurious part of town, but it could’ve been worse. I walked up to their apartment and rang the doorbell, but realised that maybe they were out for the day. Despite it being a Sunday, they probably weren’t sitting around doing nothing — the weather was too nice to pass up on.

Suddenly, I saw a familiar figure walking up the stairs, and I prepared myself for what was about to come. He didn’t notice me until he was fishing out his key, standing just two metres away from me.

“What… are you doing here?” Naegi breathed, seemingly angry. I couldn’t blame him.

“I told you I needed to talk to you”, I replied calmly.

“And I thought I told you I didn’t need to talk to you! Why are you always so fucking selfish?!” he said, his voice having gone up in volume. He seemed to realise it, as he looked around and then lowered his voice again. “Get out of my face”, he hissed.

I put my hand on his wrist, determined not to let go. “Let go of me”, Naegi said. I began to feel desperate — it was such a foreign feeling to me that it scared me and probably amplified said desperation.

“Naegi… please.” He stared at me with eyes that didn’t seem impressed at all, and I was beginning to think he was going to literally kick me down the flight of stairs leading up to their apartment.

“Fine. I’ll let you in, but I’m kicking you out the second you as much as start to piss me off”, he finally muttered. I sighed; hopefully he didn’t hear that.

We walk inside in complete silence. Naegi sat down on the couch while I stopped in the hallway, inspecting their apartment and getting familiar with it in case I wasn’t going to be let inside again.

I felt his eyes on me as I was looking around. “What are you doing? Is it too filthy for you to sit?” I sat down, but left plenty of room between us to signal I wasn’t going to try and do a rerun of what had happened at my apartment. I took a deep breath before speaking. When I started speaking, I hadn’t expected to tell him _everything_ ; just whatever I deemed necessary. Apparently that flew out the window, because before I knew it, I was practically telling him my life story. Might as well get it out of my system — I didn’t have anything to lose. Not anymore.

“I don’t know what to think”, Naegi said after a moment of silence and I had time to calm myself down a bit. I felt like I’d run a marathon; I was completely exhausted, both mentally and physically, after that long story I’d just told him. He looked out the window, sighing. “You say all this, but the way you’ve acted up until now contradict everything you’ve just told me. What do you expect of me? To jump into your arms again and forgive you, make a fool out of myself, only to be rejected all over again and have to repeat these painful weeks? Do you have _any_ _idea_ how I’ve felt during this time? On top of battling with panic attacks and nightmares, I’ve had to deal with a chest pain that was caused by you. I’m lucky to have Kyouko in the same apartment, otherwise I’d be surprised to have lived for so long.”

“What do you mean by that last part?” I asked. _Did he just imply he had suicidal thoughts?_ Naegi shook his head, appearing nearly as tired as I felt. “It doesn’t matter. Forget about it.” Had he given up now? Was this it? I had to make sure it wasn’t.

“Naegi, you’re right — I have no idea what you’ve gone through these past few weeks. On the other hand, you don’t know how _I’ve_ felt, either. It wasn’t that I pushed you away willingly, the family morals are still rooted deep inside me and I’m trying desperately to get that poison out of my system. I’m asking you to believe me, you know very well that I don’t do these things on a whim.”

“Or at all”, Naegi muttered so low that I barely heard him. I narrowed my eyes for a second, giving him a chance to extend on that statement further, but since he didn’t — I continued speaking.

“I don’t expect you to believe me right away. That’s why I’m asking you to give me a chance to set things straight, make things right for once. I was an- an ass back at Hope’s Peak, I really was — but I’m trying to change. I’m trying to break free from the shackles my family still has put on me. I’m trying to run away from them to be my own person, finally.”

He finally looked at me as he spoke, and it almost startled me as he did. “I don’t know. I don’t know whether I’m ready to give you a chance to shatter my heart and confidence again.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, disliking the way he phrased that. “I wouldn’t put it that way. I want to make things _right_ , not make you feel miserable and unhappy. By making things right, that would include trying to make you happy, too. Not just you — I want to start over completely, with everyone. Which is why I even gave Asahina my number in the first place, I wanted to get in touch with all of you again, and I knew she’d give you my number, too.”

“I still can’t make a decision on a whim, I need time to think. It’s ironic, huh? I was the one who was put on hold at first, and now it’s the other way around.”

“I guess you really have changed”, I said.

Naegi shrugged. “It wasn’t a forced thing, it just happened, I suppose. I guess we all did somehow, after all, it’s only natural.”

I stood up and got ready to leave — there wasn’t anything more I could do at this point. I could only leave it for him to decide; I’d already done all I could have — and _should_ have — done. I turned my back on him before speaking again. “Think about it, okay? Just… call me. Even if you don’t want to give me another chance, just call me to tell me no.”

“Yeah, okay”, he said, following me to the door and leaving it at that, and somehow — I felt like he wouldn’t think about it or even call me. I knew he was watching me as I put on my shoes again, and so I turned around to him, resting my hand on the door handle.

“I wasn’t even sure what it was that I felt for you until about a week ago when I realised how much I actually missed having you around. I’ve always found you interesting, and I think you know that.”

And then I left, having nothing more to say.

 

*

 

The night before my flight left for Paris, I packed my bags and got on the flight, hoping it would solve all of my problems as soon as I landed and got a chance to see my cousins again. I knew it was naïve of me to believe a thing like this would solve my problems — but I pretended not to care. I hadn’t seen my cousins in a few years, last time I saw them was before Hope’s Peak. Before that, though, I’d been to France quite often, and as a result became fluent in French. Not only was it practical so I could communicate with my cousins in their language as well as Japanese — I also found the language incredibly interesting.

My uncle had moved to France after a fight with my father about four years after I was born, and as a result met a woman there whom he had Mathieu and Amelie with. They hadn’t spoken since my uncle moved, and while I was curious to know what the reason behind it all was, I knew I could never talk to my uncle about it. We had a very strained relationship because he didn’t agree with most anything about me, and I made no effort whatsoever to please him.

After over twelve hours on a plane, I was greeted by my cousins Amelie and Mathieu. “Byakuya, my dear cousin!” Amelie ran straight into my arms, and I dropped my bags onto the floor to greet her.

“Hi, Amelie. How are you?” I said, my voice half muffled by her hair. Mathieu walked up to us and tapped his sister on her shoulder. “Amelie, Amelie… let him breathe, would you?”

Amelie let go and landed on her feet, smiling. “I’m sorry, I’m just so glad to see you! You need to tell us everything about what’s been going on over in Japan, I’ve heard a lot, and… I’m so sorry. I’m going to miss them all. Oh, I’m sorry — let’s go somewhere more comfortable… I’m up for coffee, anyone else?”

We exited the airport out into the crisp air of Paris, and got inside Mathieu’s car. “You seem to have done well for yourself”, I said, eyeing the details of his car as we had stuffed my bags in the trunk and gotten inside. He chuckled as he started the engine. “Yeah, I guess. Runs in the family, huh?”

The three of us ended up at a cosy little café in a less busy part of town, and talked over a cup of coffee (I hated coffee) and pastries. It was great to catch up with them again, and although we kept in contact over email, it wasn’t quite enough. I ended up spending nearly two weeks in France at Amelie’s and Mathieu’s villa. It had been fun and definitely healthy for me — except for the fact that I couldn’t get the little brat out of my head.

Despite my efforts, it was useless. I had trouble sleeping some nights when I woke up several times, drenched in sweat and had trouble breathing. I was trying so hard to let it pass and forget about it, but it kept coming back to remind me of what could possibly be awaiting me when I came back to Japan.

“Come back soon, okay? I’ll miss you, Byakuya.” I ruffled Amelie’s short, black hair and managed to smile. “I’ll miss you too, Amelie.” I hugged the two siblings before I left them and headed through the gate. Three weeks had gone by really fast, almost _too_ fast, but I knew I couldn’t stay there and hide from my issues forever.

 

*

 

“How was your vacation, Byakuya-sama?”

I leaned back in the seat and closed my eyes. My driver had arrived right on time as I came out through the doors of Narita Airport. He hadn’t been my driver for too long but was already getting accustomed to my ways of living and my irregular schedule. Well, if you could really call it a schedule, that is.

“It was fine”, I mumbled.

“It must feel nice to be back, huh?” I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I didn’t, and we sat through the rest of the ride in silence. I didn’t feel like blurting out my entire life story to this man who had only known me for a few months. In fact, I didn’t like talking about my personal life with anyone — the problem was that sometimes, I just had to do it.

I came back to the apartment in the late afternoon, and immediately steered my steps towards the couch. I didn’t bother unpacking — I had all the time in the world to do so. I sprawled out across the sofa, staring up at the ceiling, but my eyelids were too heavy and I ended up falling asleep shortly after. I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing somewhere in the apartment, and after some looking around, angry cussing and shuffling, I found it and answered it without even glancing at the caller ID.

“Yes?” I said.

A female voice greeted me on the other end, which surprised me. “ _Togami? Hey, it’s me. Recognise my voice?_ ”

It felt like someone had punctured my lungs as I heard her voice. Why was _she_ calling me, all of a sudden?

“Kirigiri?” I said.

“ _Yeah. Been a while, hasn’t it?_ ”

Indeed. It had been a year since I last heard her — or anyone else’s — voice. Well, except for Naegi, of course. How had she gotten a hold of my number? I decided to look at whom the call was from, and that sent a wave of utter shock through my body. _Naegi_? But how?

“I guess it has.” Still puzzled, I started pacing the length of the apartment. I wasn’t nervous or anything, I was just… trying to figure out the situation. Why her, why did she call me, what could’ve possibly brought this on? And why from _Naegi’s phone_?

“ _So first off, how did you find out where we live? You know that’s considered stalking, right?_ ” she asked, almost demanded.

I smirked to myself. Oh, how little she still knew about me — and she was supposed to be the detective out of all of us. How disappointing. “I have my connections.”

“ _Oh yeah, you and your_ connections”, she hissed. I could’ve sworn my ear would rot and die from the poison that was seeping through her voice as she spoke. Why was she so angry all of a sudden? This kept getting more and more peculiar, and I couldn’t wait to find out what brought this on.

“ _Listen. I know you panicked that time and sent Makoto off._ ”

Wait, who? Makoto _Naegi_? I was utterly perplexed — she had always called people by their last names, even Naegi whom she had been the closest to during their high school days.

“Makoto?” I repeated. “ _What?_ ”

“So you’re calling him by his first name, huh?”

She scoffed. “ _Yeah, I am. I’ve lived with him for a year — why wouldn’t I?_ ”

Wait, they _lived_ together? How much had I actually been missing out on, having lived in a completely different city? Please don’t tell me there were other surprises waiting for me, I wasn’t keen on surprises, and if they were going to be of this kind, I _definitely_ didn’t want to hear about them.

“Since when did you think about starting to live together? I can’t possibly imagine the two of you sharing an apartment, despite how close you seem to be.”

She sighed impatiently. “ _Would you stop getting hung up on details? Jeez, Togami — you must lead a very dull life._ ”

I didn’t lead a dull life, and even if I did — it was none of her business. I had always despised the fact that she was immune to my commanding behaviour and wouldn’t let anyone step on her. It had taken me completely off guard at first, but I gave up on her quickly since I learned that there were others whom I could control and wrap around my pinkie finger.

“I actually don’t. Now, would you please stop wasting my time and tell me why you’ve bothered me with a phone call all of a sudden?” I was still very jetlagged and incredibly irritable, so I didn’t have time for her bickering and stalling on what she wanted to say.

After I said that, she started ranting, and oh wow — was I not prepared for that. I even had to sit down, that’s how much it surprised me. She went on and on, and I just listened to her almost rabid voice doing nothing but defending Naegi. Not to say it wasn’t justified – it definitely was, but that didn’t mean it _felt_ right. I hated being wrong, I was supposed to be the one with the right answers, have the last word in every argument… and she shot me down. I was perplexed for a while, but snapped out of it when I realised something.

“I don’t feel that it’s right of you to be so biased when you haven’t even heard my side of the story yet. I mean, yes — of course you’re right about some things in what you said, but you can’t make an assumption based on his story only.”

“ _If you don’t want me to take sides, you should’ve thought about that before you took off a year ago._ ”

Ouch. Okay, I had to admit, that hurt a bit. But what choice did I have? She didn’t even know half of the reasons why I had to leave town, and it wasn’t just because of them.

“I had my reasons, Kirigiri”, I said, trying to keep my calm as I spoke, but I felt my voice starting to tremble with irritation. If I wanted her to believe me and become less biased, I couldn’t lose my cool now. “ _Oh? Then tell me._ ”

“I can’t. Not over the phone, anyway. Meet me and I’ll tell you.”

She made a sound that I interpreted as her being surprised. “ _Really? You’d do that? You’re not scared of me, are you?_ ”

I snorted. “Would I be scared of you? Please, don’t flatter yourself. Just come to that coffee shop I met Naegi at, tomorrow at noon. Okay?”

“ _Alright, then._ ”

“And don’t bring that boy with you”, I felt like reminding her. Somehow I knew she would at least consider the thought.

“ _Yeah, don’t worry your thick head with that. I’ll be there at twelve._ ”

And she hung up. I stared at my phone’s glowing display until it went dark, and I lay down on the couch, speechless. What had I gotten myself into? I mostly wanted to talk to her so I could defend myself, to try and stop her from being so hung up on that brat and just clear the air. I felt like we should’ve done so years ago, but obviously we hadn’t had time for it because of everything that happened.

I ordered Italian for dinner since I didn’t have anything to make, and because I didn’t really have the energy to cook anyway. After dinner, I took a shower to get rid of the disgusting bacteria and smell I had gathered from twelve and a half hours on a plane — and then I went straight to bed.

 

*

 

The morning after, I decided to have breakfast at one of my old favourite cafés. They always had freshly steamed rice and miso, and the best tea leaves in town. I exited the apartment complex and took in the morning air. It was starting to get colder in the mornings now that autumn was closing in, but thankfully it was still warm enough to only wear a sweater despite it only being nine in the morning.

The little bell above the door signified my entrance to the small diner, and the man behind the counter looked up. “Good morning! I haven’t seen you here in a while.”

I nodded, greeting him. “I’ve been in and out of town a lot lately; I just got back from France yesterday.”

“Oh, how was your trip?” The man, whom I only knew as Terashima, started fumbling a bit behind him, preparing tea and a bowl of rice. I had visited them so frequently in the past that he by now knew my tastes, and the way I preferred my tea.

“It was enjoyable; I had the chance to meet my cousins again after so long, and it was nice to spend time with them.”

Although he was facing away from me, I could see him nodding. I sat down at one of the tables waiting for him to finish my breakfast. I usually had miso, steamed rice with a raw, beaten egg poured on top of it and umeboshi, and obviously this morning was no exception. I had missed the traditional Japanese breakfast foods after having been in France for three weeks, having eaten nothing but far too sweet breakfast foods for my taste, such as croissants and other sweet pastries accompanied with hot chocolate. I was surprised not to have cavities by now, but relieved nonetheless.

Terashima arrived with a tray consisting of my breakfast, and he sat down in front of me with a cup of tea for himself. Since there were no other customers in the diner at the time, he could probably afford to relax a bit.

We conversed for a bit whilst I had my breakfast, and I sat there for over two hours with him, even after I had finished my breakfast and Terashima took away my tray. There had been a few customers coming in to either get something to go or sit there for a cup of coffee, but the sombre atmosphere had been kept and I liked it that way. Eventually, I had to leave since I did have somewhere to go. We said goodbye, and I headed out the door to walk towards Tully’s.

It felt strange, walking from one cafe to another, but I hadn’t planned on staying for breakfast for such a long time and thought I’d at least be home for a bit before I went out again. I hadn’t even realised I had such a routine until it was interrupted.

I had never spent time with Kirigiri alone before, not even during the ‘peaceful’ days at Hope’s Peak. We were so similar that it disturbed me and I could never really bring myself to be much around such a person unless it was deemed necessary. Which, in the last year, it had been quite a lot since we ended up involuntarily working together in trying to solve the murder cases.

“Oh, Togami — you’re finally here”, a voice greeted me as I finally arrived outside Tully’s. Her voice could still cut through stone, and her glare was beyond intimidating.

I raised an eyebrow. “You seem intent on beheading me already, aren’t you a bit too quick to judge? I barely just got here.”

Kirigiri snorted. “I have all the reason for wanting to behead you, Togami; don’t pretend like you don’t know that.”

There was an aura of animosity oozing from her as we walked inside Tully’s to order something. Once again, I had a cup of tea, while she settled on coffee. Despite my efforts, she had insisted on paying for herself — and I didn’t feel like arguing with her over such a trivial matter, so I let it go with a shrug.

“So, tell me why I’m wrong in being on Makoto’s side”, she said as we sat down.

I sighed. “I didn’t say you were wrong in doing so, you’re free to be on his side if you want – but only after you’ve heard both stories. You of all people should know what’s fair and not.”

She arched an eyebrow and looked out the window. I swear I could’ve touched the hate radiating from her if I stretched out my hand. “Alright, fine. Speak.”

So I spoke, and I told her why I had left Japan in the first place. It felt very odd telling her all this —  _her_ , of all people — but since she seemed to have a near unhealthy attachment to Naegi, I guess I had to, if I wanted to have anything to do with the little brat ever again. Which I didn’t like admitting that I wanted. I was still curious to know what made all of these things happen; how they ended up living together despite not being in a romantic relationship — and how in the world Asahina and Hagakure started dating. They were the most unlikely pair to ever start a relationship, and now that it had happened, winning the lottery didn’t seem so impossible anymore.

The more I talked and the more I told her, Kirigiri seemed to slowly let her guard down and turn down the level of anger she expressed in her body language, facial expressions and speech patterns. She had changed, that was for sure — she used to be more of a stoic character back in the day, not showing a lot of emotion. This Kirigiri, sitting in front of me and sipping on a cup of coffee, was very different. There were still elements of her old self showing, and maybe I should’ve been glad for that, but somehow she seemed more… colourful.

I finally stopped, feeling content with what I had told her and was hoping it would be sufficient, that I didn’t have to do a whole lot more to get her approval. This felt ridiculous; like I was asking a father for my lover’s hand in marriage. Wasn’t that essentially what I was doing? No, not quite. I wasn’t planning on _marrying_ him… I just wanted permission to be around him again, to get to know Makoto Naegi again after all this time. And I knew she would have difficulties with deciding what to say since I had already screwed up before.

“I hate to admit it, but I think you might’ve actually changed. You’re still an ass, I don’t think there’s a way for you to change that — but you’re less of an ass than you used to be.” I grimaced at that description, but I guess that had to do. It was probably the best I could get from her, anyway.

After blowing on her cup of coffee, she continued. “I’ll tell him I sort of approve of you, and that I think he should talk to you. But I can’t guarantee he actually _will_ give you another chance — you’ve probably noticed how he’s changed. He might’ve been a bit of a pushover back in the day, but he’s matured quite a bit since, and sometimes even I experience difficulties in trying to talk him into things.”

I had indeed already gotten a taste of his new personality, and I was prepared to fight. I always enjoyed a challenge; I didn’t want things unless it meant I had to work for them. And in this case, despite already having crossed a pretty sizeable hurdle battling Kirigiri and earning her trust, I still had quite the way to go before I could consider it a victory.

“Don’t think too highly of yourself now just because I think you deserve another chance”, she warned me.

I snorted. “I make no guarantees; you know how I am.”

We finished up at the café and walked outside. It was just past two in the afternoon, and the town was still calm as most people were probably still at work.

“Well, I’d best get going, then”, I said and started to turn around. It had been quite the experience, talking to Kirigiri about such a thing. Actually, talking to her in general for longer than a few minutes was an experience.

“Hey… Togami”, she called after me as I started walking, and I turned around to meet her eyes. “Yes?” She managed to smile a little, and it surprised me. “Good to see you again”, she said before walking off. I had a weird feeling in my stomach as I walked home, and I didn’t like how it lingered as I walked back.

 

*

 

I came back to the apartment and stood in the hall for a bit, listening to the absence of sound and noise, letting the conversation I had with Kirigiri sink in. I realised she would go to great lengths just to make sure Naegi was safe and happy.

So she was kind of like a mother figure to him, then? It felt weird thinking of it that way, considering the fact that I had up until just recently thought they were romantically involved. I still felt a little sting of jealousy when thinking about how close they were, and they didn’t even seem to have to make an effort. It seemed natural somehow, and it really ticked me off.

The next day, I wasn’t expecting for him to call — and obviously, he didn’t. I sat by my computer with my phone in one hand, deep in thought. I was deliberating whether to completely disband the Togami Corporation and free all of the companies and businesses we had in our grasp. Since I was now the one in charge, I could do exactly as I wanted without repercussions — but I still felt reluctant and a bit uneasy about it. Being in control suddenly scared me; I was in control of the entire conglomerate my family had built up for so many years. But I realised that if I wanted to change, if I wanted things around me to change — closing down the corporation would be a good start.

I took a deep breath, finally having made my decision, and started making calls to stockholders, and in doing so — I realised how long of a process this would be. I knew I was going to be so relieved when it was all over.

During the next few days, I got an approval from said stockholders to close down the corporation, filled out tons of paper work and submitted tax papers. I had hired a tax attorney who helped me with most of it, which helped me out a lot since I didn’t know the full details of everything and how to go about doing it all. At last, on a Wednesday the following week — it was over. It had all been dealt with, debts were paid, claims settled and companies liberated. _I_ felt liberated, too. I had gotten rid of the last part of my family that kept me from moving forward, and it felt so exhilarating.

Now I could start over and start working somewhere else. With my merits and bloodline, I was sure I could work practically anywhere — but I still didn’t know _where_ I wanted to work. I was going to start working below someone rather than having people work for me, and it was going to be a new, challenging experience, I was sure — though I was willing to go through with it.

As I lay sprawled out across my bed that afternoon daydreaming, pondering, I felt a faint buzz next to me and realised my phone was ringing. The name on the display made my heart skip a beat, and I answered, more than a little surprised. Nervous? Me? Heavens, no.

... Maybe a little.

“Yes, this is Byakuya”, I said. “ _Hey, it’s me. I’ve made my decision._ ”

 _Took you long enough_.


	9. Restart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter! As implied by the name of the chapter, Makoto and Byakuya restart whatever it is they're having. Friendship? Relationship? Something in between? The two of them probably wouldn't even be able to tell you if they were asked.

“ _Yes, this is Byakuya_.” My heart was beating so fast I thought it’d escape through my ribcage any second now. “Hey, it’s me”, I said, trying desperately to hide the slight tremble in my voice. “I’ve made my decision.”

“ _Oh?_ ” he said.

I fidgeted with the collar of my shirt as I went along. “Yeah, I’m giving you another chance. Don’t waste it.” I tried my best to sound neutral, but I’m pretty sure I failed, miserably. He let out a noise — was that a laugh? — but it died out fast, and he went silent for a second or two.

“ _Thank you_ ”, he finally replied.

I sat by the kitchen table, reading the free morning paper I’d gotten when I was out earlier. I tried concentrating on the contents, but my eyes kept going out of focus and I found myself not having flipped the page even once after I’d opened it on a random page.

Sighing, I gave up and folded the newspaper again. What was going to happen now? How were we supposed to go on from here? I had no idea what all of this meant, yet I was the one who had been in control of the situation somehow. _I’m really bad at this_ , I realised.

The hours of the afternoon passed, and as the blue skies were overtaken by a reddish purple, I started thinking about what to make for dinner. I looked through the fridge and cupboards, and eventually decided on a simple kakitama-jiru — which was just dashi stock-based soup with egg and parsley — fish cakes and steamed rice. I still had no idea when Kyouko would be coming back, but if she came home late she could just reheat the food anyway.

“Hello?” I heard a voice as the door opened. I’d just about started eating when Kyouko came in.

“Hey”, I greeted her from the table. “Good timing, I just finished making dinner.”

She dropped her briefcase on the floor next to the sofa and sat down in front of me, inhaling and closing her eyes. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.”

I laughed. “Go right ahead. Sorry it’s nothing too special, though.”

Kyouko shook her head. “Anything’s fine with me at this point, I haven’t had anything to eat since eleven, and it was a lousy teriyaki chicken sandwich from Seven-Eleven.”

I finished my soup and began eating the rice and fish cakes. “So how was your day?”

“Nearly too action-packed. Well, at first we had to sit on a rooftop with binoculars — like you see in films — and wait for the suspects to take our bait. It was a huge drug deal that was about to go through, and we probably busted fifteen, nearly twenty, people. Working with the police is fun”, she said, smiling a little. I liked seeing her smile like that, and especially now that she was back at work, doing what she loved the most.

“Never mind me, how was _your_ day? Did you talk to him?” she asked, and my heart rate immediately shot through the roof.

“Yeah”, I said. “I told him I’d give him one more chance, and that he shouldn’t waste it.”

Kyouko smiled. “I’m glad. So what happens between the two of you now? Are you dating, or what?”

That was the thing I didn’t really want to think about since I had no idea whatsoever what we were or what we were supposed to do now. “I don’t know”, I confessed, and she frowned.

“You haven’t thought this through, have you?” Upon seeing me shake my head, Kyouko sighed. “I figured. You need to properly talk to him. Go and see him, you know where he lives, don’t you?”

Even if I did know where he lived, I didn’t want to just show up at his doorstep telling him we needed to talk… again. And despite only having had two ‘serious’ talks with him, I felt like it was getting a bit too much now. But maybe that was my fault for not really explicitly explaining what would happen when I made my decision and what that means. What scared me the most, was that I didn’t even know what I wanted out of it. I figured the only way to find out was to go there and see him, talk to him and see how I felt.

“Alright, I’ll go. Tomorrow”, I said.

Kyouko shrugged. “Just promise me you’ll do it and not wait weeks like you’ve done two times now. I’m surprised he hasn’t gone grey-haired yet — or you, for that matter.”

I stuck my tongue out at her, and she laughed.

 

*

 

Aoi had just arrived at the minimart when I stepped in through the back door, and it was a very pleasant surprise to see her. “Hey!” I said, walking towards her.

She hugged me tight as I came close. “Morning! How’d it go when I wasn’t here?”

I shrugged, tying the strings of my apron behind my back. “It was fine, but it felt weird not having you around.”

She grinned. “Good. Then that means I probably won’t be replaced anytime soon.”

“Ha ha. How are you feeling?” I asked her as we walked inside the minimart, turned on the lights and opened the automatic doors.

“I’m much better now, my throat’s still a little sore, though. Nothing that’ll keep me from going into work, anyway.”

Although I did enjoy working alongside Takayama-san when Aoi was home sick, it was really nice to have her back at work. During lunch, I told her about Togami and she scared pretty much every person walking by when she squealed loudly. It was a reaction I half expected beforehand, but it still startled me, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

On shaky legs, I walked towards the bus stop with Aoi after we’d clocked out for the day. I would’ve preferred to take our car to Togami’s apartment building, but since Kyouko’s office was rather far from home, we’d decided that it was best for her to take it since I could easily just walk to work. It was a bit windy, and the sun was hiding behind the clouds, so I pulled the zipper on my hoodie all the way up.

“Nervous?” Aoi asked me as we stood by the bus stop.

I shrugged. “A little, maybe. I don’t know what to say since I don’t know what it is that I want. I feel so pathetic.”

I didn’t like showing the weaker side of me, it was something that reminded me of the old days when I had pretty much let people trample all over me, ignore what I had to say and do whatever they wanted. If I hadn’t decided I needed to get stronger, I would’ve wiped out my entire class singlehandedly by letting them make the wrong choice, vote for the wrong culprit. Twice, too.

Eventually, Aoi pulled me in for a hug. “Good luck”, she whispered into my ear before she let me go.

I smiled, turned around and walked in the other direction towards Tully’s, from where I’d easier be able to tell where to go in order to reach Togami’s apartment building.

I walked for a bit around the block until I saw the huge apartment complex not too far ahead. I sighed, both in relief and nervousness at the same time. I realised I probably needed to text Togami so he could let me in — the guy operating the lift was probably not going to let me ride all the way up to the penthouse floor without permission, even if he recognised me. Security seemed very tight at this place, so I’d better just trust my instincts.

“ _I’m outside your apartment complex. Can you let me in?_ ” I wrote and pressed “send” with a trembling finger. I took a few deep breaths before I stepped into the foyer. The man outside the lift gave me an odd look, and I awkwardly smiled at him as I stood there, waiting, nervously scraping my foot against the hardwood floor. My phone buzzed twice in my pocket and I fumbled a bit when trying to get it out.

 **Togami-kun** :

 _Sure, come on up_.

I nearly stumbled forward as I made my way to the lift. “I’m here to see Byakuya Togami in the penthouse apartment”, I said. The man nodded, opening the doors to the lift and let me in. I pressed the button with the golden PH-letters and leaned against the wall, closing my eyes, listening to the soft hum the lift made as it ascended.

With a “ _ding_ ”, it signalled having reached my destination, and I stepped out on the white marble floor, knocked on the door and listened. At first, I heard nothing, but soon enough I heard the sound of footsteps on the other side of the door. As Togami opened the door, I felt my heart jump in my chest, and I barely managed to say “hey”. He eyed me shortly before letting me in, not saying a word.

He walked inside the apartment as I took my shoes off and placed them on the shoe rack. I went inside and sat on the opposite side of him on the couch. This apartment really suited Togami; it was like made for him and it looked like he’d lived there his entire life, though I knew he’d only lived there for a few months at most.

I cleared my throat. “Sorry for coming over unannounced”, I said.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it”, Togami responded with a faint smile. I felt so bad for having put him on hold for so long, and now that I’d made my “decision”, I still had no idea what was going on, other than the fact that I’d basically allowed him to be around me more since that seemed to be what he wanted.

“I’m not good with these things, so I apologise in advance—“

He cut me off, calmly explaining: “You really don’t have to apologise, Naegi. If anyone should, it’s me.”

I furrowed my eyebrows slightly, looking down at my hands placed on my knees. “Maybe we’re both at fault, then. I’m… just scared. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what we are, what we’re supposed to do.”

“Maybe we don’t have to figure it out yet, then. I know what I want, but I’m prepared to wait, fight for it since I haven’t earned my place in your life. I already feel bad for rushing you into this. It’s all up for you to decide.”

I sighed, and realised it came out sounding more annoyed than I intended. “That’s the thing — even if I’m in control and it’s all up to me, I can’t decide what to do since I have no idea what the options are. Why is it so complicated?” I realised how my voice was breaking, and at that, I stopped talking.

Togami exhaled slowly, closing his eyes for a second before scooting closer. “I don’t know. Maybe we could just start out as being friends — that sounds easy and reasonable enough.” _Except it won’t be that easy, and you know that_. I clenched my fists, and as I did, he placed his hands over mine, which made me wince unconsciously, and he pulled his hands back.

“I’m sorry”, I said, grabbing his hands again, which made him look at me in surprise. As an apology, I leaned closer and rested my head on his shoulder. I noticed how tense he was, but he seemed to relax as I put my head down on his shoulder.

“I know this might sound stupid, but I’ve thought about it a few times before and… what if Junko hadn’t tampered with our memories? What if things would’ve just gone on, do you think we could’ve…“, my voice trailed off, eyes locked on the TV screen in front of us that wasn’t even turned on.

“Maybe. Sounds like a logical consequence”, Togami said. “It certainly would’ve made our imprisonment at Hope’s Peak a lot shorter since we wouldn’t spend all that time trying to figure out how we ended up in there. And if we’d gotten out sooner, then yes… maybe. It would also mean all those lives could have been spared.”

I shuddered, thinking about that possibility. We had lost so many friends along the way; I lost my middle school friend after just having gotten her back into my life again — and even though she had thrown me under the bus so she could try to escape, I couldn’t blame her. It wasn’t her fault — the motive video was her trigger and I knew that at least some of us would do anything to get out; the culprits were perfect testament to that.

We sat like that in silence for a while, and I enjoyed just sitting there; not having to think, not having to do or say anything, just leaning against his shoulder and listen to his steady, relaxed breaths as his shoulders rose and sank slowly. I didn’t mind if this was how slow things would progress, even just sitting like this in silence was nice.

“Hey, Naegi”, he murmured softly, slowly putting his arm around my shoulders. It sent a chill through my entire body as I felt his warm breath against my ear.

“Yeah?”

He turned his head slightly towards me, nuzzling his nose into my hair. “Let me take you to dinner sometime.”

It sounded so cheesy and so out of character for Togami, and if I were an ass, I would’ve burst out laughing. But instead it made me both surprised and my heart started beating a little faster. “Yeah, that sounds nice”, I managed to reply. “When, though?”

“Saturday? Does that work, or is it too soon?”

I frowned a little and was glad he didn’t see it. It was so weird seeing him like this. Kyouko was right — he really was trying to change, and at times, I could see how difficult it was for him to not fall into his old ways of talking to people. I knew that it was something I just had to deal with, and be patient. At the same time, there was a certain charm to him calling me a ‘brat’ for some reason. What had started out as something I was almost offended by nearly felt like a pet name by this point.

“No, that’s fine, I’d love to go. Let’s go on Saturday.”

He hummed in agreement. “I’ll pick you up around seven, then.”

His driver took me back home just around half past six, and I was secretly thankful for not having to pay for the bus fare. The man opened the door for me and I stepped in, managing a “thank you” before he closed the door and went to seat himself in the driver’s seat. As he turned the key, he asked “Naegi Makoto-sama, I presume?” and it caught me completely off guard the way he addressed me. I only ever saw my name written out like that whenever I received letters, but I couldn’t remember if someone had actually _said_ it to me.

“Er, yes, that’s me”, I said, still a bit perplexed.

He smiled politely at me in the rear-view mirror. “I’ve heard about you from Byakuya-sama. Pleasure to meet you.”

 _He’s heard about me from Togami_ , I thought to myself, my heart suddenly racing again. _Which means Togami talked to his driver about me… I wonder what he said._

“Ah, it’s a pleasure to meet you, too”, I said. It felt weird, like the driver knew we’d meet again. Maybe Togami had already told him that they were going to pick me up the following Saturday night.

I walked into the apartment and found Kyouko by the window with a scary grin on her face. “I saw you getting out of that limo, you sneaky kid. You’ve done well for yourself, shagging the richest boy in Japan.”

I felt my ears and cheeks get hot. “I’m not… _shagging_ him!”

She laughed, walking up to me and planting a kiss on my forehead. “I’m just messing with you. How’d it go?”

I sprawled out across the couch, feeling exhausted for some reason. Kyouko lifted my legs up, sat down and put down my legs across her thighs. I exhaled, slowly. “It was fine, we didn’t really do anything besides talking and then sitting in silence. But it was nice.” Somehow, the blush found its way onto my cheeks again.

“I’m glad to hear that. I doubted him heavily at first, too — I mean, he’s always been an ass, so maybe he was prepared for it. Kudos to him for trying, though; that must mean he’s serious.”

I closed my eyes, imagining back to when we sat on his couch and I leant on his shoulder. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

 

*

 

Of course, Aoi was all over me the next day at work; wanting to know all the details and while there wasn’t a lot to tell her, I told her the gist of it and her reaction made me glad she couldn’t levitate or she’d probably shoot through the roof.

“I’m so glad things are working out!” she said, after having caused many heads to turn towards us.

“Shh”, I said, “keep your voice down.” It was very embarrassing, to say the least, and I wanted to sink through the ground. We were on lunch break, and I’d brought some left over yakitori and rice from last night’s dinner whilst Aoi had bought chicken filled onigiri and natto rolls for herself.

I looked at her small amount of food with a slight frown. “Are you sure you’ll get full on that?”

She waved her hand dismissively and shoved a natto roll into her mouth with the other. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I have apples in my bag, too, in case I’d get hungry later.”

I shrugged. “If you say so. Hey, have you guys progressed any regarding the moving in-thing?”

“We’re still looking at apartments, but we’re thinking of maybe just getting rid of one of our apartments and moving into the other one — I don’t know why we never thought about that before since we live alone now.” There was a hint of sadness clouding her eyes for a second as she said that, and it reminded me once again of our families… gone.

Aoi’s grandparents were still alive, thankfully — but they lived in China, and Aoi only got to talk to them once in a while because of the high call rates and the absence of internet connection at her grandparents’ house.

“Yasu’s working two jobs trying to save up money so we can actually do it.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “Oh? What does he work with?”

“He’s an assistant to some big shot guy at an office and helps file paperwork all day, but during the evenings he delivers pizza.”

 _Poor guy_ , I thought to myself. “That sounds like a lot of work, doesn’t it?”

Aoi shrugged. “He says he’s fine with it, and as long as he comes home in one piece and not literally stumbling through the door, there’s not much I can do. He can be really stubborn at times, and I’ve learnt just to let him do as he wishes.”

We finished our shift at three as usual, clocked out and left the minimart to the ones coming in after us. Aoi and I went to the park to spend some time together, just sit and talk, not having to worry about anything. I knew Kyouko had been starting to work late anyway, so I wasn’t in much of a hurry since it was still just three in the afternoon. After sitting down on a bench near the centre of the park with an ice cream cone each, we sat and watched the people walking by us; children playing, dogs running around barking. It was a cloudy day, but that didn’t scare people away from spending time outside while the remnants of summer were still lingering in the air.

“Hey… you haven’t told Yasuhiro anything about, well… _that_ , right?” I didn’t know what to call it, but I knew she would know what I meant. Yasuhiro had grown up in a very strict and conservative family with beliefs not too different from what I understand Togami had grown up with. He was a firm believer, and as such wasn’t too happy with same-sex couples. Although I knew Togami and I were far from being anything like that — at least _something_ had happened between us that I knew Yasuhiro wouldn’t take well.

Aoi shook her head, looking down at her ice cream cone which was half gone by this point. “No, I think it’s best if you do it, to be honest. Thankfully he’s still a bit of a dingbat, and slow to realise things. Though, like I said — you should probably tell him if you plan on going further with Togami since we’re all friends after all. Well, Togami might be a different story, but at least the four of us are friends.”

I nodded slowly, processing her words. I knew it was going to be difficult to approach this subject with someone as conservative as Yasuhiro, and although he had become more open-minded with most things in general, I suspected things hadn’t changed a whole lot in that area.

“You know, Togami told me how he actually wanted to become friends with us all; hang out and stuff”, I said after a while.

“Really? He said that? Wow. Well that’s something I never could’ve expected. Maybe we should give him a chance, too, since you decided to do so.” Aoi nudged me in the side with her elbow, grinning.

I walked her back to her apartment and we said goodbye before I headed in the other direction towards our apartment building. We lived less than a ten minute walk apart from each other, so it was really convenient for when we met up for work. Yasuhiro lived about twenty minutes in the other direction from Aoi, but if things worked out, they’d soon be living together, possibly in either Aoi’s or Yasuhiro’s apartment.

For now, I didn’t feel the desperate need to tell Yasuhiro about those things I feared he’d react strongly about. I was never the most flamboyant homosexual guy, but sooner or later, no matter how dense he could be at times, he’d eventually catch on and I’d rather tell him myself than have him find out on his own.

Since several years, I had come to terms with the fact that I’d never see a woman in a romantic or sexual way, however men… were a different story. That’s what I realised when I met Togami back at Hope’s Peak. At first, he pissed me off and at the same time terrified me. We were so different, and as he had no interest in forming friendships with anyone at school, most students tended to stay away from him if they could.

Of course I had to be different, being the naïve young boy I was. I felt bad for Togami; he always sat by himself reading books in the library, always being followed by Fukawa whom he avoided like the plague, yet she managed to always come back despite his cruel ways of telling her to leave him alone. I felt bad for him, and so I tried speaking to him, playing chess with him and just hanging around him, despite the others’ efforts of trying to talk me out of it.

Slowly — very slowly — but surely, we became friends and hung out on a regular basis, we even studied together for exams. I somehow managed to make him more open to socialising with the others, and soon enough he was indeed spending more time with the others, too, and that was probably my biggest achievement at Hope’s Peak besides escaping the damned academy two years later.

 

 

*

 

“Makoto. Hey, Makoto, wake up.”

Kyouko poked me in the cheek with her index finger repeatedly, trying to wake me up from a very comfortable sleep. I grimaced, eyes still closed, and turned around in bed, grunting. I heard her sigh, and in the next second, the comforter I’d so desperately clung to, was gone. I opened my eyes. “Hey!”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s already half past ten, shouldn’t you get up soon? I’m bored. Let’s do something today before you’ll be snatched away from me… you’re growing up so _fast_.” She pretended to cry, hiding her face in her hands.

I threw my pillow at her as I felt a blush colour my face. “You’re cruel”, I muttered and Kyouko laughed.

We had brunch since I’d slept in for a bit, and then we took a walk to the movie theatre where we ended up watching a thriller I really didn’t have much interest in, but I gave in since Kyouko seemed really interested – and I didn’t mind going since she paid for my soda and popcorn anyway.

After the film, we had coffee at a nearby coffee shop, talked and just hung out. It felt like days like these were going to become rarer with how often she had to work and how long her days were. I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t been with Kyouko, if we hadn’t become so close that we decided (on a whim, really) to move in together. It had only been a possibility since we used money from our savings, and Kyouko used some of the money she had inherited — much to my dismay and complaining, but she insisted, and I could never argue with her since she was so stubborn.

“Text me if you’re staying over; I don’t wanna have to sit up and wait for you”, Kyouko said as I was getting ready to go outside and wait for Togami’s driver to pick me up. “Okay, I will, _Mum_ ”, I replied with a grin. She pinched me in the arm. “Ouch!”

“You know what I mean. I care about you, maybe a bit too much, but you can’t really blame me — I don’t have many people left in my life that I care about.” I felt my stomach turn as she said that, and I winced. “Sorry”, she said apologetically, “I know you’ll be fine.”

I pulled her in for a hug. “Don’t worry, I’ll text you whether I’m staying or not. What are you going to do tonight? I feel bad for leaving you alone.”

She smiled and waved her hands as if to tell me not to worry. “Aoi’s coming over, and we’re having a girls’ night, apparently. If you do come back tonight, you might have to sleep on the couch.”

I laughed. “I don’t mind.”

Right on the dot, the limo drove in and stopped outside the apartment complex. On legs that felt like overcooked spaghetti, I got into the car as the driver opened the door for me. As I poked my head in, I saw Togami sitting in the limo, dressed in his usual black blazer, white dress shirt, dark green cross-tie and black pants, accompanied by (probably very expensive) black dress shoes. He had his elbow placed on the edge of the window and his chin resting in his hand. His blue eyes were directed towards me as the door was opened, and my breath got caught in my throat. Somehow, I managed to stumble in and sit down on the opposite side of him, and then the limo started with a soft hum.

“So where are we going?” I asked, still at the town scenery passing by outside the window.

Togami leaned back in his seat. “There’s an Italian restaurant further downtown that I used to visit a lot before I…” he trailed off, cleared his throat and began again. “I’m sure you’ll like the place and what they have to offer.”

As the car stopped, my eyes widened slightly at the sight of the fancy restaurant we’d arrived at. This guy… really had an expensive taste. I felt like I’d never, ever be able to repay him if he’d keep taking me to these expensive places — even if I worked seven days a week until retirement. I’d probably have to work until they had to bury me, and even then it probably wouldn’t be enough. I felt my stomach turn a little as I realised this.

“What’s wrong, Naegi?”

“Oh, er, it’s nothing”, I lied, plastering a smile onto my face. Togami shrugged, waved at his driver to signal that it was okay for him to leave, and we entered the restaurant.

The head waiter greeted us, and Togami told him he’d made a reservation. I looked around for a bit before we were showed to a table in a more secluded part of the restaurants. The power Togami held was immense — no, _intimidating_ ; he could probably get whatever he wanted at the snap of his two fingers.

We were seated, given a menu and then the waiter left us alone to decide what to order. I’d only had Italian a few times in my life, and it had always been with my family. Thinking about that when we were sitting there was probably a bad idea, but it was inevitable. I sighed, and realised too late that I probably should’ve kept it in. I received a concerned look from Togami as I did so.

“Are you sure nothing’s wrong, Naegi? You don’t look well.”

I shook my head, a little too fervently. “No, no — it’s just… I haven’t had Italian many times before, and every time I’ve had Italian food, it’s been with my family.”

Togami lowered his eyebrows, appearing slightly troubled as if he blamed himself. “I’m sorry.”

I kept screwing up more and more, I realised — this wasn’t good if we wanted to try and fix things between us again. “No, I’m sorry”, I said. “It’s fine; I’ve really been looking forward to this night and I don’t want anything to ruin it. Let’s just change the subject, okay? I’m fine.”

In an attempt to try and reassure him, I reached my hand over the table and put it over his. He flinched, but didn’t move away. Instead, he let his fingers trace the upside of my hand, and a small, nearly undetectable, smile appeared on his face. _Hopefully I haven’t fucked up completely now_ , I thought, and sighed in relief.

We both ordered pasta, but mine was with meatballs in tomato sauce, and Togami had seafood with his. I usually liked seafood, but one thing I could never get myself to eat was clams.

“Are you sure you don’t want to try? I promise you they’re good”, Togami said, skilfully opening up a clam with his cutlery.

I shook my head, smiling. “I’m absolutely positive.”

“Suit yourself", he shrugged.

As expected from the guy with connections and power to rule the country, he’d managed to order us a bottle of red wine despite us both being underage, and at that point I learnt that I’d have to get used to this. If Togami wanted something, he could most certainly get it with very little persuasion, if any at all.

“Are you up for dessert?” Togami asked me whilst going through the menu again after we’d finished our dinner. A dirty thought popped up in my head as he said _dessert_ , but I quickly pushed it away, oddly enough feeling embarrassed about it.

“No, I’m full — thank you, though.”

He put down the menu and let his blue eyes fall on me. I was glad to be sitting or I’d probably fall over from my knees feeling so weak. “Naegi, don’t hold back. If you want something, just say so. You know I don’t mind.”

“No, really — I don’t want anything more”, I tried reassuring him with a smile.

He shrugged again and shut the menu. “Well then, shall we leave?”

He paid for our dinner and we were out of the restaurant. I’d just experienced one of the best dinners in my entire life, and I was sure I’d dream about pasta that night. Togami called his driver and we stood on the sidewalk, patiently waiting in silence.

A cold wind blew and I shuddered, rubbing my hands together. “Are you cold?” Togami asked me, and I jumped.

“Ah, er, just a little.”

He approached me and took my hands in his, gently blowing hot air on them. I felt heat rush to my cheeks and I was probably red like a tomato now. I looked down at my feet. “Hey, Togami… er, thank you. I had a wonderful time tonight, and I don’t know how to repay you.”

He let go of my hands, put an index finger under my chin and lifted my face up so that I was facing him. “Don’t worry about paying me back, you really don’t have to do that. I’d rather you didn’t, actually.”

I frowned. “Why?”

“Because this is my way of repaying you.”

I barely had time to react before a black limousine pulled up next to us, as if on cue. The driver (whom I’d found out was named Hiroshi Nakamura) opened the door for us and we got in without a word. It wasn’t until a few minutes later that Togami broke the silence.

“Naegi, would you like to spend the night at my place?” My heart skipped a beat, and I turned my head towards him, surprised.

“Oh… yeah, I guess”, I stuttered. “Thanks.” And we spent the rest of the car ride in silence, listening to the soft hum of the car as it drove through the silent town.

 

*

 

As we got into the foyer, I realised something that should’ve been an obvious thing from the second I’d agreed to spend the night in Togami’s apartment. “I don’t have anything with me”, I said. “Toothbrush, a change of clothes… nothing.” I shot a sheepish smile at Togami and he sighed, poking his head out the doors.

“Nakamura! Can you drive us to Naegi’s apartment quick?”

 _I guess I won’t have to text Kyouko now since we’re stopping by anyway_ , I thought ironically to myself.

A few minutes later, we arrived outside our apartment complex. “I’ll be back in a few”, I said to Togami as I got out, nodding at the driver in front. I half-ran up the stairs and unlocked the door. The TV was on in the living room, but there was no one in there as far as I could see. But upon actually going inside, I realised she’d fallen asleep whilst watching TV. I turned it off before I gently shook her shoulders. “Hey. You shouldn’t sleep on the couch like this, you’ll catch a cold”, I whispered.

She grunted before reluctantly opening her eyes. “Makoto? Oh, you’re back.”

I blushed. “Only for a little bit — I came back to get a few things. I’m… spending the night at his place.”

A wide grin spread across Kyouko’s face, and she sat up. “Really? I’m guessing things are going well between the two of you.”

I rubbed my cheeks, trying to get the heat to leave. “It’s not like that! I don’t know if I want to—“

She shook her head, took my hand and pulled me in for a hug. “I’m kidding, I know what you mean. I’m glad for you, though.”

I sighed. “Thanks. I’ll probably be back after breakfast tomorrow morning”, I said, even though I had no idea when I’d actually be back.

“He’s making you breakfast?” Kyouko asked, a sly, wide grin spreading across her face.

“Oh, shut up”, I murmured. She laughed as I walked into the bedroom to get a new pair of underwear and socks, plus a shirt. I grabbed my toothbrush from the bathroom and stuffed everything down a plastic bag from the minimart.

Kyouko rubbed her eyes as she followed me to the door. “You don’t have to see me off. Go to bed”, I said.

She waved her hands dismissively. “Oh, honey — don’t worry about me. I _want_ to see you off. Besides, I want to make sure the door’s locked before I go to bed anyway.”

I shrugged. “Okay then.”

After a hug, a “be careful — use protection” and a furious blush on my side followed by her laugh, I was out the door and heard her lock it behind me as I went down the stairs again. Nakamura was patiently standing by the door and opened it for me as I got close.

“Sorry for the delay”, I said, smiling apologetically.”

“No worries, Makoto-sama”, he said as I stepped in.

“All ready to go?” Togami asked me as I sat down.

“Yeah”, I said, and we were off.

It was nearly pitch black as we got dropped off outside Togami’s apartment complex. We said goodnight to his driver and entered the building hurriedly. Autumn was getting a firmer grasp on us and I didn’t like the fact that we’d have snow in a few weeks.

Togami unlocked the door to his apartment and let me in first. “Excuse me”, I said, again out of habit, and he chuckled behind me as he locked the door.

“Old habits die hard, I see.”

I smiled a little to myself as I took my shoes off. “Yeah, I suppose.”

He told me to make myself at home while he went out into the kitchen, and I sat myself down on his couch. I turned on the TV, but after going through the channels, I didn’t find anything interesting to watch so I turned it off again. Togami returned with two white coffee mugs in each hand, which he placed on the coffee table in front of me, and I leaned over to see what it was — it was hot chocolate, and smelled _really_ good.

He turned around to light a fire in the fireplace, and then proceeded to finally sit on the couch next to me. I couldn’t hide the surprised look I had plastered all over my face as I glanced over at him. “I’ll drink your chocolate if you don’t want it”, he said, took a mug in his hands and leaned back.

“That’s not it, I was just surprised”, I confessed whilst taking the other mug. I brought it to my mouth and blew on it before tasting. I raised my eyebrows in slight amazement, and it made a smirk appear on Togami’s lips.

“Good, isn’t it?”

“Yeah”, I said, taking another sip and letting the heat of it fill my stomach as the warmth of the hot beverage spread through my fingers through the mug. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do all this.”

“Well, I’d be a terrible host if I didn’t offer you anything. Besides, having hot chocolate on a cold night is one of the most enjoyable things I’ve ever experienced, despite how plain and simple it might be.”

I couldn’t have agreed more. It was a nice ending to our night, and I couldn’t think of any other way I’d rather spend it. I realised I was glad to have decided to give him another chance since it seemed like he was genuinely trying to change. He was already vastly different from his past Hope’s Peak self, but in a way, I was hoping he wouldn’t turn into a complete stranger, however polite, nice, kind and caring he’d turn out. It just wouldn’t be _him_ anymore in that case — and I had to admit that I found some of his sass and bossiness endearing and almost a turn-on.

When we’d finished our hot chocolate, Togami took the empty mugs to the kitchen and put them in his dishwasher and returned to the couch. I watched him carefully from the side as he sat down again. There was something about the light from the fireplace that made him look beautiful; his hair looked almost golden and his facial features were brought out more; from the way his lips were curved to his sharp jawline.

He caught me blatantly staring at him and when his eyes met mine, my eyes immediately darted in the other direction. He laughed softly. “What is it, Naegi?”

“It’s nothing, really, I just… really like looking at you”, I said and bit my cheek in a failed attempt to not blush.

“Likewise”, Togami said and locked his insanely blue eyes with my own. Eventually, I was blushing so hard that I had to break eye contact, but compensated with repositioning myself on the couch so I could lean my head on his shoulder like I’d done last time.

“So tell me, Naegi, how’s work?”

The question was so unexpected I had to blink a few times and think about whether I’d heard that right or not. But then I realised he was probably just trying to make conversation, and it was another sign to me that he was really trying to change. It felt weird knowing that, but it was a good kind of weird.

“It’s good, not too strenuous — I enjoy it a lot. What do you do nowadays?”

“I closed down the Togami conglomerate business not too long ago, so now I’m unemployed. I will probably apply for an office job somewhere soon, though — sitting around doing nothing feels wrong and it’s making me restless.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Wait, you closed it down just like that? What happened?”

He sighed. “I didn’t want to feel imprisoned anymore; I had to do something in order to be able to move on with my life fully. And seeing as I was the successor, I was in full power to do as I pleased. So that’s what I did. It’s very liberating.”

Not even in my wildest dreams would I ever be able to imagine him closing down the Togami Corporation, as it had gotten him to where he was today. But obviously it hadn’t only brought benefits, and I realised it the more I talked to Togami; it really had weighed him down and he had probably deliberated doing this for a while. I couldn’t blame him.

I carefully took his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers. His hands were significantly larger than mine, and it was made more obvious this way. “Doesn’t it feel empty, though? I mean, I know you don’t live in the mansion anymore — but aren’t there other relatives outside Japan who are in on it, too?”

He shrugged. “Yes, but they knew about my intentions long before it was set in stone and done with. The only one who had difficulties with accepting it was my uncle — but he doesn’t approve of much when it comes to me. He’s tried taking control of my life for a while now that my immediate family’s gone — he doesn’t think I’m mature enough to make my own decisions despite being nineteen years old.”

I let it sink in for a bit before I spoke. “I see. I’m sorry; I can’t really imagine having such a complicated relationship with a relative.”

“Well, I have to deal with him less now that the conglomerate has been disbanded, and that’s a relief in itself.”

Togami and I sat and talked like that for a while, and it was really nice. I was glad I got to know this side of him that I hadn’t had the opportunity of getting to know before. I realised how much easier it was to talk now that we weren’t in school anymore — now that we weren’t trapped in a hell where we had to kill to get out.

When midnight came around, we decided to go and get ready for bed. As we stood in the bathroom brushing our teeth, I still tried to talk and realised how bad of an idea it was when minty foam spread everywhere — dangerously close to dripping onto the tile floor, and I had to spit before I laughed out loud, and so did he.

After trying to insist on sleeping on the couch, I gave up and slid under the comforter of Togami’s huge bed, wearing an oversized t-shirt and underwear. He joined me shortly, and I felt my heart race again as I felt his heat radiating towards myself. As I always did, I lay and stare up at the ceiling, listening to the very faint sound of cars going by outside; the sound of a town that wasn’t asleep yet.

Togami turned towards me and absentmindedly started running his fingers softly through my hair. I closed my eyes, enjoying the moment and trying not to freak out since my heart was practically trying to break free from the confines of my ribcage.

“We should do this more often”, Togami murmured.

I turned my head. “This?”

He smiled a little. “Going out for dinner, a film — anything. I want to spend more time with you, that is — if you’d like to, of course.”

I leaned up, putting my hand on the back of his head and kissed him despite the storm of butterflies in my stomach. “I’d love to.”

That night, I’d woken up drenched in sweat and panting heavily after that one reoccurring nightmare had haunted me once again. Togami had immediately woken up and sat next to me, wrapping his arms around me. I realised I was trembling, and I breathed heavily to try and calm down.

“Nightmare?” he murmured into my hair.

“Yeah”, I replied after those painfully long ten minutes had passed.

He sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m here, though, everything’s fine.”

I hummed in acknowledgement, still trying to get those unpleasant images out of my head. We fell asleep again about ten minutes later, and I was able to sleep through the rest of the night without problems.


	10. Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto unconsciously starts making a habit out of staying at Byakuya's every weekend. Meanwhile, Kyouko's nineteenth birthday is right around the corner.

I woke up the morning after to the sound of the coffee machine humming in the kitchen. I turned to the side — sure enough, Togami was up before me. I wondered how long he’d been up, and decided to check what time it was. I stretched my arm out to the nightstand and grabbed my phone. Just before ten, apparently. I put my phone back and sat up, stretching and yawning to try and get rid of the last signs of sleepiness.

“Ah, you’re up. Good morning”, Togami said as he walked in with two mugs; one with coffee and one with tea. “I ordered breakfast for us, it’ll probably be here any minute now.”

I blinked in confusion. “What did you order?”

“Just miso, rice, mackerel and some other things. There’s a very nice diner downtown where I usually get breakfast, and they just recently started doing home delivery. Convenient”, he said as he brought his tea cup to his mouth.

This was the first time I’d seen him casually dressed; I always met him when he was dressed in his usual suits — either black or white. This morning, he was dressed in a simple white t-shirt and dark grey sweatpants. Sweatpants was the last thing I thought I’d see him in, but strangely enough it suited him.

Our breakfast arrived with a ring on the doorbell, and we set up the table with all of the foods in the middle, and two plates on opposite sides. I sat down, eyeing the food and feeling my stomach literally scream for it. Despite having gotten so full from yesterday’s dinner, it didn’t take long from waking up to feel hunger again.

As we finished up and I drank the rest of my miso out of the bowl, I remembered I had told Kyouko I’d be home after breakfast. As it was close to eleven by now, I realised I should probably give her a call to tell her where I was so she wouldn’t worry about me. I took my phone out of my pocket to dial her number.

“Kirigiri?” Togami asked, and I nodded.

“I forgot that I said I’d probably be back home after breakfast, I should probably tell her I’ll be home later than that. Unless you want me to leave right now?”

I smiled a little, and he smiled back. “No, you don’t have to leave. Why don’t we spend the day together? Do you have anything else to do?”

“No, I normally don’t do a whole lot on Sundays, it’s kind of my ‘lazy day’. Sure, let’s do something”, I said as I pressed the call button.

“Hey, you can invite Kirigiri, too, if you want”, he said as he stood up and started cleaning the table. Slightly stumped, I raised my eyebrows but didn’t say anything about it.

“ _Yes?_ ” I heard a sleepy voice greet me on the other end of the line.

“Oh, you’re awake. Or did I wake you?”

I heard her ruffle around in the bed for a bit — I had probably woken her up. “ _I’m… awake now. Where are you?_ ”

“I’m still at Togami’s place. Do you want to hang out, like, do something today?”

“ _Yeah, sure. Did you have something in mind?_ ”

I braced myself for her reaction. “Actually, no. Togami told me to invite you, too — we figured we’ll just go with whatever we feel like.”

I knew they used to have a rather strained relationship back in the day because they didn’t agree on many things. Ironically, I thought they went well together since they both used to have the same kind of stoic personalities – and whatever they _did_ agree on was something I later on came to admire them for.

“ _Oh, I see. Yeah, sure — I might as well hang out with him now that you guys are… well, I don’t know what you are, but whatever. Come pick me up and I’m all yours_ ”, she said, and I heard her get out of bed as she finished that sentence.

“Okay.” I turned to Togami to ask when we’d pick her up, and he said we could be over at our apartment in about an hour, he just had to call his driver and we still needed to get ready first.

After having told her that, we hung up, and I walked to the bedroom to get my towel so I could shower and get ready for the day, whatever it was we were going to do. Togami came in as I was rummaging through my plastic bag and he flopped down onto the bed with a bored facial expression. “Shower?” he asked.

“Yeah. Unless you’re going first?”

He shrugged. “No, you’re the guest — go ahead. I’m sure I won’t take as long as you, though.”

I stuck my tongue out at him as I pulled out my towel, and in the corner of my eye, I saw him make a face.

“What?” I inquired.

“You could just use one of mine”, he said. “Before you go, though… come over here.”

I felt my heart flutter as I walked over and sat on the side of the bed next to Togami. He sat up a bit, put his hand on my back and gently pulled me towards him for a kiss, sending a pleasant shiver down my spine.

I felt my hand move on its own, and it tugged on his shirt while I had to suppress a whine that threatened to emerge from my throat. I wanted more, but I knew I couldn’t have it now.

He slowly pulled away, a tiny smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Now go and take that shower so we’ll get out of here, preferably today.”

“Hey! You started it”, I said before laughing. I stood up and made my way towards his huge bathroom. I’d been there once before, and I nearly gasped out loud when I walked inside it that time, like I’d done with pretty much every space of Togami’s very impressive apartment. This insanely hot guy and his seemingly endless amount of money would be the death of me.

 

*

 

We arrived outside the apartment complex just after eleven, and I called Kyouko to tell her to come down. It didn’t take long, and soon she was right outside the limo, being let in by Nakamura. She had an amused look on her face as she stepped in and sat down next to me.

“Impressive”, she said. “But as expected of the richest guy in Japan, I suppose. Hey, Togami.”

“Hello, Kirigiri. Do you have any suggestions for what to do today?”

She shot a questioning look my way, but she also looked like she might burst out into laughter any second. I wasn’t used to his nicer personality yet, either. “Oh, er, well… maybe we can go catch a film or something?” she suggested.

I groaned. “You always want to watch films.”

“Well, suggest something better, then”, she said in a pretend-grumpy voice. We were still parked outside the apartment complex, obviously because it’d be unnecessary to just drive around town without a destination. I admired Nakamura for his patience with us.

All of a sudden, I had an idea. “There’s supposed to be a festival downtown, why don’t we go there?”

Kyouko hummed in agreement. “Good idea. Suddenly I’m up for street-style yakisoba.”

So we ended up being dropped off outside the park which had turned into a huge festival area. There were several food stalls, tents selling souvenirs, a karaoke contest and a goldfish scooping game — lots of things to do, and I was kind of excited. Mostly for the food, though. Festivals were famous for their street food, varying from simple takoyaki to yakisoba and meat buns, but the latter was more common during late autumn and throughout the winter season.

The very first thing we did was go and get food. Rather, Kyouko dragged us there since she hadn’t had any breakfast before going out. It was probably a good idea to be early anyway, since it tended to get more crowded as the day went on.

We spent a good few hours walking around, playing games, buying lottery tickets (I won a teddy bear which I gave to Kyouko — I guess I still had luck on my side) and just having a really good time. I was amazed at how fast Kyouko and Togami seemed to get along; they finally put the past behind them, which was a relief. I thought it would be a more difficult process than that, but seeing how things progressed, I didn’t see how we wouldn’t be able to spend time together. We still had to ‘reintroduce’ Togami to Aoi and Yasuhiro, though, but I was hoping that would go just as smoothly.

As dinner time approached, we decided to call it a day and leave the festival area. It had been a nice day, and I hoped it had brought Togami and Kyouko at least a little bit closer. Nakamura drove Kyouko and myself back to our apartment building; we said goodbye to Togami, and returned back home.

“Do we have any food at home?” I said as we walked up the stairs, and she stopped.

“Shoot, we probably don’t. Wanna get McDonald’s?” The smirk on her face made me think that maybe she’d emptied our food storage on purpose.

We drove to McDonald’s downtown and got takeout so we could eat back at the apartment since the restaurant was pretty crowded. We ate in front of the TV, talking about the weekend and shared stories on what we’d been up to. Kyouko had been at Aoi’s until late last night when she took a cab home. She said didn’t want to sleep over since it’d be creepy to sleep in the room next to Aoi’s where Yasuhiro would be sleeping, too. I didn’t blame her — I’d probably go home, too.

“So how was your Saturday night?” she asked me, popping a chip into her mouth.

“It was great; we had Italian and just spent the night relaxing.”

She raised an eyebrow. “That’s it? Even I’m disappointed, and I wasn’t even there.”

“Well, you know how it is. And even if we’d done something, you wouldn’t want to hear about it anyway.”

Kyouko cringed. “You’re right, I wouldn’t.”

 

*

 

September flew by so fast I felt like I had trouble keeping up with what was going on around me. Work had both me and Kyouko busy during weekdays, but we ended up spending the evenings together and then I spent most of my Saturdays with Togami, always feeling bad about leaving Kyouko to herself. Eventually she’d managed to get a few friends through work, so she spent more time with them, too, which helped ease my conscience a bit.

Whenever I spent time with Togami, we ended up either being lazy around the apartment ordering pizza, going out to the cinema or having coffee (tea in Togami’s case) downtown at Tully’s.

Things were progressing nicely, and although we weren’t actually dating, I felt like it wouldn’t be long until we went official. Going official would also mean having to tackle Yasuhiro’s conservative beliefs, and since Togami hadn’t spent much time with him yet, we decided it would be best if we waited a little longer in fear of ruining things before they could actually become something.

We’d managed to meet, all five of us, a few times during September when our work schedules weren’t clashing completely like they normally did. Yasuhiro didn’t seem resentful of Togami despite how things had ended when Togami left town over a year ago, it was the opposite. He was actually glad that the two of them were able to hang out like normal people now, which was something he’d told me several times when we’d been at Togami’s apartment watching a film or playing card games.

“He seems to have changed a lot”, Yasuhiro said when Togami had gone to the bathroom during one of our ‘poker nights’, something we’d agreed on having every now and then, which was actually really fun. I was never a good poker player, but most of the time when I ended up winning, I (and the others) blamed my stupid good luck.

“Yeah, he really has”, I said, glancing at Kyouko who smiled upon meeting my gaze. We’d been playing poker for about an hour now, and it was getting late. Yasuhiro, being three years older than the rest of us, had supplied us with beer and wine (Togami refused to drink beer since it was ‘for commoners not like himself’) for the night. Most of the beer cans were now empty, standing at the end of the dinner table we weren’t using when playing poker.

Aoi, Yasuhiro and Kyouko left an hour after midnight, leaving me and Togami alone to clean up after our get-together. It wasn’t a lot to take care of, thankfully — just two empty pizza boxes and the beer cans on the table. Togami had made it through more than half of his wine bottle, but I had decided he’d had enough for the night and stumbled into the kitchen with it, putting the cork back in halfway before storing it in one of his cupboards.

“You’re unfair”, he whined from the couch where he was lying down; his white dress shirt buttoned up only halfway — his cross tie had come off a long time ago since he felt it was choking him. Strange, since he wore cross ties pretty much anytime he had to leave the apartment.

I sat down next to him on the couch, lazily running my index finger along his abdomen. “No, _you’re_ unfair”, I replied, although it came out slightly slurred. He grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me down, kissing and biting my lips hungrily. I repositioned myself and straddled him, leaning down to continue what he’d started.

Togami’s lips were stained from the red wine he’d been drinking, and soon enough I was probably going to look the same way. A moan clawed its way through my throat and I hastily undid the rest of the buttons on his shirt before prying it off him and taking off my own shirt as well.

I leaned forward and started kissing along Togami’s jawline, down his neck, collarbone and chest. He grabbed a fistful of my hair, letting out a sigh of pleasure as I continued kissing him down his abdomen.

I crawled back up and returned to his lips, becoming almost intoxicated by both the red wine he'd been drinking, and the mere sensation of kissing Togami. He was a good kisser; seemed to have a penchant for nibbling on my lips, and he was also very skilled with his tongue. I could only imagine what it'd feel like should he put his mouth and tongue to use somewhere else.

“We should… move to the bed”, Togami mumbled between kisses.

“Oh. Yeah, I guess”, I said and slowly got off him. It wasn’t until we were about to lie down in bed that I noticed the incredible bulge between his legs that was very indiscreet, despite him wearing sweatpants. I found myself eyeing him up and down as he removed said sweatpants, and he smirked.

“I suppose you’re enjoying the view, huh?”

“Come on”, I whined as I impatiently dragged him down onto the bed. He kicked off the sweatpants still lingering around his ankles and got on top of me, returning the favour of kissing me all over. I felt hot, so hot, and his lips and tongue did only so little in cooling me down.

When he put his hand on my aching length, I realised that this was not how I wanted our first time to be — not while we were drunk nearly out of our minds. I wanted it to be something we’d remember the day after and not forget in a haze reeking of alcohol.

I gently put my hand on his head. “T-Togami-kun… I feel like we shouldn’t… go all the way tonight.”

He stopped and slowly came back up, a look of disappointment quickly swept over his face. “You’re… probably right.” He sighed and laid down beside me, taking my hand in his. I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. I really wanted to, I did — but not like this.

I turned to the side and gently placed a kiss on Togami’s cheek. “I’m sorry”, I said sheepishly.

He turned towards me, his eyes still foggy from the alcohol, but he’d managed to regain some of his normal composure. “Don’t be. I’m serious, it’s okay; I feel the same way. It’s just far too easy to get caught up in the moment, I suppose.”

I ended up falling asleep wrapped in his arms, which quickly became my favourite sleeping position.

 

*

 

The morning after, I actually woke up before him for once, and decided I’d get him breakfast, instead of the other way around. As it was only just past nine in the morning, I decided I’d fight my headache and run to the store to get some stuff. I wanted to  _make_ breakfast for once, since we constantly ordered up to the apartment otherwise. I left a note on the fridge saying I was going out for a bit, took the spare key hanging in the hallway, and I was off.

The guy outside the lift greeted me as I came down, and I greeted him back. I’d been there so many times in the past few weeks now that he sometimes even started small talk with me as I waited for the lift to come down. It was weird knowing how not too long ago, I’d only been here the first time and I was sure I would never be coming back after that incident.

I walked down to Super Yuki which was just two minutes away from Togami’s apartment building. It was way bigger than our minimart, so it took me some time to get the stuff I needed. I decided to make scrambled eggs, bacon and toast — it was something neither of us usually had, and it would probably be a good change. Miso in all its glory, but sometimes I felt like I’d grow tired of it if I didn’t change things up every once in a while.

When I came back up to the apartment, Togami was already up and had even showered. “Good morning”, he said.

“What happened to you?” I smiled, putting the plastic bag on the table. “Felt like something different today. I hope you don’t mind.”

He walked up to me and planted a kiss on my forehead. “I don’t. But I do mind you paying for all of it. For Christ’s sake — you’re a guest, Naegi.”

I rolled my eyes. “Hey, I actually have a job, so I can pay for my things. I owe you a lot, after all.”

Suddenly, his eyes darkened and he stepped back. “What, are you saying I didn’t work for my money?” I felt my heart sink; I knew the money subject was sensitive to him and yet I’d carelessly made a joke like that without thinking first.

I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around him, and his body stiffened a little. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I know you’re a hard-working person and that you actually worked for your money. I’m sorry, okay? Sometimes I say things without thinking first.”

He sighed and rested his chin on my head. “Yeah. I’m sorry I lashed out on you; that was unnecessary. Now let’s forget about this and have breakfast, hmm?”

And we did. I had to force him to sit by the table the entire time while I was frying the bacon and making the scrambled eggs. It was hardly an effort, really — and I was nowhere near good at cooking.

“Please let me at least pop the toast into the toaster oven”, he said with a pretend-complaining voice.

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, go ahead. But next time I’m doing that, too.”

He scoffed. “Maybe I won’t allow you to make breakfast for me next time since you’re still the guest.”

I started putting out breakfast on the table, and I smirked. “Soon enough I won’t really count as a guest, you know. I spend pretty much every weekend here after all.”

After breakfast, Nakamura drove me back home. I always wondered what he did besides driving us around. I knew he got paid well by Togami, but I still had the feeling he’d be doing a lot of sitting around if he didn’t have another job on the side.

Kyouko was surprised when I came home just before lunch time. She was sitting on the couch reading as I walked in. “Oh, hey! You’re back early.”

“Yeah, I feel bad since we barely hang out anymore. I kind of miss the days when we’d just sit around here, even if it meant doing nothing.”

She smiled as I sat down next to her. “Don’t worry about me all the time, you should enjoy what you have, and have fun. I’m not letting him steal you away from me if that’s what you’re afraid of. I’ll still be your friend and we’ll always find some way to spend time together.”

It was weird how things had changed from when we used to spend twenty four hours a day together when neither one of us had a job and were still living on our inheritances. Once I started working, we still spent a lot of time together, the two of us or with Aoi and Yasuhiro in the picture as well. Now that we were both working, she’d gotten friends at work and I’d started seeing Togami more, it was a very evident change. Scary, almost.

We used up the rest of our dashi stock to make kakitama-jiru for lunch again, but skipped the fish cakes and just had rice with it. The rest of the day was spent under quilts on the sofa watching bad films, and we went to bed early.

It was October when I woke up that Monday morning, and I realised we needed to do something special for Kyouko’s birthday, which was on the sixth. I told Aoi about it at work, and we decided to call Togami and ask him if we could have a small get-together at his apartment on the day, which would be that Saturday. Aoi and I went window-shopping for birthday presents during lunch break after we’d eaten. Kyouko was never big on surprises and we were sure she’d get a little grumpy at first when being presented with these on Saturday — but it was only once a year and she’d be turning nineteen, so it was kind of a big deal and gave a reason to celebrate.

Aoi bought Kyouko a pair of sterling silver earrings with little hearts dangling down from them. I got her a gift card for a spa weekend, and Aoi joked about how much she hoped Kyouko would bring her along with it since the card warranted two people. “Who else would she bring — me?” I asked sarcastically.

She laughed. “Yeah, but doesn’t she have friends at work?”

I shrugged. “They’re not anywhere near as close as you are with her, so don’t worry. I’m pretty sure you’re the one she’ll want to bring with her to the spa. And if not, you’re free to punch me since I’d be wrong in my assumptions.” I was confident enough to say she wouldn’t need to punch me.

The rest of the day at work went by pretty fast. I’d gotten a text from Togami just as we clocked out for the day that said he wanted to talk, which slightly worried me. Whenever someone says they want to talk — chances are it’s not a good thing. So with a heart beating like a drum, I took the bus over to his apartment building. My mind went everywhere as I rode the lift up to his floor. Had I done something wrong this weekend that he couldn’t forget? Was it because of the money remark? Surely he couldn’t still be thinking about that… could he? I had no idea what it could be and I was terrified to find out.

I finally arrived at his floor and rang the doorbell with my heart in my throat. I heard his footsteps on the other side of the door, and he opened. “Hi, Naegi. How was work?”

I was a bit thrown off at that and my reply came out stuttered. “Er, hey… it was fine.”

He let me in and I took my shoes off, wandering slowly into his apartment. He motioned for me to sit down on the couch, and I nearly felt like crying — that’s how nervous I was. He sat down next to me and took a deep breath. “I have two things to tell you”, he said.

“Oh?” I managed to reply. He smiled, and that made me even more confused.

“First off — I got a job.”

Wait, what? _What_? I felt my eyes widen, and I was completely speechless. Still, I had to say something — he seemed genuinely happy about this. “Wow, Togami, er, that’s great! Where… are you going to be working?”

He appeared to sense my confusion and fear, as his facial expression went from being happy to slightly concerned. “Is something wrong?”

I shook my head furiously. “No, no! I was just… not expecting that. At all”, I confessed, looking down at my hands.

Even more confused, he still decided to continue. “Well, okay — not that I have a clue as to what you _were_ expecting. I’ll be working as a secretary for a CEO in that big building by the river downtown. You know where that is, right?”

I had to think for a bit, but I had a rough idea. “Yeah”, I said.

“Okay. So that’s the first thing. Second”, he pulled something out of his pocket and I had this weird thought in my head that he was going to propose. “… I want you to have this.”

He put his arms around my neck, and I felt something cold and metallic fall to my chest beneath my shirt. I took it out and realised it was the spare key to his apartment, and I felt my jaw drop. “Wait, really?!” I exclaimed in surprise.

He raised an eyebrow. “Well, it’s only natural, right? You're here so often now that I thought it’d be best if you had a key up here, too. I trust you, after all — it’s not like you’re going to rob me or anything. Right?”

He shot a suspicious glance at me but laughed. I held the key in my hand, still dumbfounded. Here I’d thought he was going to dump me all over again and tell me he wouldn’t want to see me again, and I’d been presented with this, nearly the opposite of my original, paranoid assumption. Suddenly, a wave of gratefulness swept over me and I threw my arms around Togami.

“Thank you. This… I really wasn’t expecting this. Congratulations on the job, too — I’m glad for you.”

He put his hands on my shoulders and pulled me back so he could put his forehead against mine. “Now, tell me what it was you _thought_ I called you here for. You seemed genuinely terrified when you came here, and before I told you about the job.”

I sighed, feeling embarrassed and hoping he wouldn’t take offence. “Well, I sort of thought I’d done or said something wrong, like this weekend when I fucked up with that stupid comment, and I thought that maybe you’d tell me you didn’t want to see me—“

He put an index finger over my mouth, chuckling a little. “Oh, Naegi. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I should have been more specific in that text message, perhaps — but I wanted it to be a surprise. See, we both make mistakes, but that’s okay. Right?”

I exhaled a short laugh of relief. “Yeah, I guess.” I pushed him back against the couch and rested my head against his chest, slowly letting my fingers trace the key dangling from the chain around my neck. “So now that I have a key to your apartment, does that mean we’re… you know…”

Togami looked down at me. “Dating? Yes, I would suppose so. I wouldn’t mind being your boyfriend (I couldn’t help but smile at his sudden blush)… if you wouldn’t mind being mine.”

The way he said “mine” made my stomach flutter. I’d been so freaked about getting close to him too fast, but now that I thought about it, things had progressed nicely; not too slow but also not too fast. So maybe it was finally time to take things a step further and go from “friends who kissed each other and went out on dates” to actual boyfriends.

Something I would gladly get used to.


	11. Suspicion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya's POV (this might happen a few times — I hope that's okay), in which Byakuya has a lot of bad luck.
> 
>  
> 
> **Trigger warning: attempted rape.**

_Byakuya_.

 

I sat with Naegi for a while, his head resting against my chest. I had no idea he had such worries — that he thought I was going to do the same mistake I did nearly three months earlier. Of course I had no right to blame him since it _had_ happened, and he had all the right to think it could happen again.

But I was no longer going to run away from him; I knew what it was that I wanted, and I wanted to prove it, starting with that key he now had hanging around his neck.

Something occurred to me while we were sitting like that in a comfortable silence, and I decided to vent my thoughts. “Hey, I thought about something.”

He looked up at me. “Yeah?”

“Maybe it’s not a big deal, but… I realised I still call you by your last name. It feels a bit weird now, don’t you think?”

Naegi shrugged. “Well, I call you by your last name, too. I don’t mind either way, though it would feel better to go by first names.”

I nodded in agreement. “So… Makoto.”

He blushed, and I had to bite my cheek to not smile at his stupidly cute reaction. “Yes, Byakuya.”

Despite how silly it had sounded, that in itself felt like a victory, and it was sure to make my entire week wonderful.

 

*

 

On Tuesday, I was supposed to go to the office for an introduction day; to learn the basics of what to do, where to find things and such. There was a dress code, of course, but I wasn’t worried that my normal day clothing would be insufficient as I only wore suits anyway. The strict dress code of the Togami family was still deeply rooted within me, and it took an effort to wear something more casual on the days I spent with Makoto as he told me I needed to “relax” more.

The guy I was supposed to work for, Youhei Matsuda, was a middle-aged, tall man with great discipline but a friendly personality. He showed me around the building that day; from how the coffee machine operated to telling me what I’d be starting out my days at work with. It would mostly involve taking calls for him; booking meetings, scheduling and rescheduling appointments and such.

I struggled with having to keep my old, snarky personality inside. I was no longer having people work for me, I was now working for people myself, and didn’t have anyone to boss around. It was going to be interesting to see how I’d handle this change, but in a way I was relieved since it meant I couldn’t go back to my old ways that reminded me of my despicable family.

That’s not to say I hated my _entire_ family; I got along with some of my siblings despite the rivalry when it came to who was going to become the successor. I loved my mother dearly, and she was the only family member I felt I could truly confide in. Learning about her death was very difficult as it meant I had lost one of the very few people in the world I actually cared for.

Now things were different, thankfully — and I began to see a different meaning with life, filled with people I never thought I would consider friends. A few months ago, the mere concept of having friends was laughable to me, and here I was now, regularly meeting up with my old classmates from Hope’s Peak (and former colleagues at the Future Foundation) for something as simple yet enjoyable as poker nights.

I came home that evening completely exhausted with a bunch of papers that I put on my desk. I decided to dig out an old briefcase I used to have at the Future Foundation that I could use for work now since I didn’t have a space of my own yet. They promised me a desk by the end of the week, though, so it probably wouldn’t be too bad.

I showered and had dinner before I sat down on the couch, turning on the radio to one of those channels that still only played classical music. As I did, my phone started ringing, and with a low groan, I got up to answer it.

“ _To— er, Byakuya, hey — it’s me. Can I sleep at your place tonight?_ ” It was Makoto who apparently still had difficulties with calling me by my first name.

I smiled to myself. “Hi. Yes, of course — did something happen?”

“ _Oh, it’s just that Kyouko's gonna stay over at the office — they have a stakeout going on and she said she’d probably just crash at her workplace whenever they finished. I don’t like sleeping alone_ ”, he said, finishing with a shy laugh.

“That’s fine, you can come over whenever you want. You still have the key, I assume?”

I heard him inhale quickly, sounding like he was insulted. “ _Of course! I’ll be there soon_.”

Too late, I realised I could’ve called Nakamura to pick him up, but he’d probably insist on going by foot despite it taking at least fifteen minutes. We had that stubbornness in common, I suppose.

About half an hour after we’d hung up, I heard a key turn in the lock and a smile found its way onto my lips. Makoto poked his head in through the door. “Hi”, he said.

“Hi, Makoto”, I said, and he hid his face behind the door.

“I can’t… you’re too much”, he squeaked before quickly coming in and locking the door behind him, and I realised he’d been embarrassed because he was still unaccustomed to us using first names. He kicked his shoes off, threw his bag onto the floor and ran in, plopping down on the couch beside me and planted a kiss on my cheek.

“Hey, Byakuya”, he whispered, twirling a strand of my hair between his fingers. “How was your first day at work?”

I shrugged. “It was okay, just a bunch of information, rules and such that I had to listen to. I think I’ll come to like it, though, it seems like a very nice workplace. How was your day?”

“Oh, it wasn’t that exciting. Aoi and I sat around and talked mostly since we barely had any customers come in until about an hour before we clocked out for the day. It’s weird how some days can be super busy and some days we barely see anyone coming in through the door.”

I nodded. Somehow it was really satisfying to listen to his stories about work, enthusiasm always lit his grey-green eyes even if he told me it wasn’t that exciting. I knew he enjoyed working and spending time with his friends, and it was something I admired him for.

We cuddled on the couch for a bit, and suddenly it started leading towards something else. Makoto slipped his hand inside my shirt, gently stroking it along my chest. I let out a sigh and pulled him closer, pulling his shirt off him and kissing his collarbones, which I had found out was one of his soft spots. As a response, he moaned and dug his fingernails into the skin of my back. I quickly realised that we would probably be doing things other than just making out and cuddling, so I grabbed his legs and made him lock them around my waist as I carried him to the bedroom.

He giggled into the crook of my neck as I walked, but didn’t say anything. It felt weird at first, but I liked it. I’d rather be the one to carry than having to be _carried_ anyway.

I gently placed Makoto down on the bed before I straddled him and started kissing him again, my need for more physical interaction rapidly growing.

“Byakuya”, he whispered into my ear as I was kissing him on the neck.

“Yes?” I replied in a shaky voice; realising just how aroused I actually was.

“I want to do it. I want to… make love to you”, he said, and his embrace tightened on me. I felt my heart beats speed up. It felt special to me that he said he wanted to ‘make love’ rather than ‘have sex’.

If I hadn’t stopped myself back when he first visited my apartment, I definitely would’ve had sex with him, but in retrospect — I was glad we didn’t do it back then since it wouldn’t have meant as much doing it this time. And doing it now would involve a lot more emotions, which was probably why he used the “make love”-expression.

I smiled as he leaned up to kiss me. “Good thing I’m prepared, then.”

He gave me a confused look, but it was quickly replaced by relief. “Oh. I didn’t even think about that at first, but… yeah. Wait, why do you have it?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Don’t even dare think that I’ve used it with someone else, because I haven’t — you’re my first. No, the lube and condoms are all unopened — I got them a while back just in case. Want to confirm that they’re unused?”

He pulled me down and hugged me, softly whispering into my ear. “No, I don’t have to. I trust you, I was just surprised; that’s all.” He blushed before continuing. “You’re my first, too.”

That was all I wanted to hear. Still straddling him, I leaned over to the nightstand on the left side and opened the drawer to pull out the lube and condoms. It didn’t take long — perhaps because I was impatient — before I had opened the bottle and produced a small amount of lube on my fingers. Makoto pried my legs off of him so we could switch position; now he was the one straddling me instead of the other way around. With some lube still on my fingers, I gently pushed a digit inside Makoto, earning a shudder and a moan from him. I pushed in and out whilst he put his hands on my back, letting his fingernails dig into my skin.

After having added a second finger and scissoring them for a while, continually adding and subtracting fingers to get him accustomed to it, he managed to gasp out “I think I’m ready”, and I pulled out. He opened one of the packets of condoms, and albeit with shaky hands, he managed to put it on.

I pushed him down now, pulling his legs up and he wrapped them around my waist again as I slowly entered him.

“Oh g-god, Byakuya”, Makoto breathed, taking purchase of the sheets below him. I thrust into him at a slow pace, enjoying each and every second of it; if I could make it last, then I would.

I leaned forward to kiss him, but it also meant me going deeper, and Makoto’s moans pretty much confirmed that he enjoyed it. He thrust his hips up, gasping my name again in the process, and I let a moan escape my lips whilst my eyes fluttered shut. Our bodies were pressed up against each other to the point where you'd struggle trying to find any space in between us, and the heat emanating from us was close to unbearable. I watched as small beads of sweat formed and trickled down from Makoto’s forehead, and realised that I was now sweating as well, which wasn’t surprising.

As I kissed him, I wrapped my fingers around his length and started pumping up and down since he seemed near climax, much like myself. Since my mouth covered his, Makoto only managed to let out a series of whimpers the closer he got to coming. It seemed to get a little too much for him to hold it in after a while, though, as he forcefully separated himself from me with a gasp.

“Ah, f-fuck!” Makoto yelled, and that was when I knew. I finished shortly after and rolled off him, breathing heavily and feeling like my heart might explode from its incredibly rapid beating. I rolled the condom off, tied a knot at the end of it and threw it in the bin next to my desk. Makoto took a bunch of napkins from the box on the nightstand and cleaned himself up before he threw it in the bin as well.

He rested his head on my chest, and he took my hand, intertwining our fingers. “That was... amazing”, he said, sighing in contentment.

I kissed the top of his head. “Yes, it really was.” It felt all the more special knowing we’d just had our first time with each other, taking our relationship one step further.

 

*

 

I woke up to my alarm clock going off at seven. As I was about to stretch my arms out, I realised they were wrapped around a smaller body, and I remembered who was sleeping in my bed. He woke up only seconds after me, though, and let out a yawn. “Oh, good morning, Byakuya”, he said sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

I kissed him on the forehead. “Good morning. I’ll go ahead and shower before you since you’re slower than me”, I said with a smirk and gently unwrapped his arms from around my waist.

He laughed dryly. “Ha, very funny. Go ahead; I’m not in a hurry anyway.”

I got out of bed and grabbed a towel from my closet. “Oh? When do you start work?”

Makoto stretched out in bed, taking full advantage of the fact that I was no longer in it. “Nine”, he replied.

I clicked my tongue. “Lucky bastard. I have to be in the office at eight.”

“Oh, are you going to make it? It’s five past seven after all.”

I rolled my eyes. “Like I said, I’m faster than you, and I’ll manage on two slices on toast for breakfast as long as I get to have tea. I’ll make it on time.”

I showered and had breakfast in twenty minutes, and just as I was done with breakfast and ready to leave, Makoto came out from the bathroom having showered, too.

“Ah, you’re leaving?” he asked, joining me in the kitchen.

“Yes, I have a fifteen minute walk ahead of me and I like to be early.”

He wrapped his arms around my waist. Makoto was about twenty centimetres shorter than me, so he couldn’t reach to put his chin on my shoulder, even. I found that to be disturbingly cute somehow. Not only did I like the fact that I was taller, but the height difference between us was perfect in my opinion.

“Have a good day at work, Byakuya”, he said. “Don’t worry about the apartment, I’ll lock the door after me when I leave.”

I turned him around to face me and gave him a kiss. “Good. Have a good day, you too, Makoto. I’ll talk to you later”, I said before I grabbed my suitcase and was out the door.

Work wasn’t as slow that day as it had been the day before. I actually got to start doing some tasks, albeit small ones, but I’d get there eventually. I had to get used to the idea of being the CEO’s errand boy; running to get him things ranging from coffee to a certain bunch of papers he should’ve gotten “weeks ago”.

It was incredibly difficult to see myself in this position and I had to fight back the urge to start yelling out commands myself on several occasions. Trying to change myself was proving to become very difficult, and although I usually say I love challenges and that it wouldn’t be fun to attain something without a fight… this would definitely get on my nerves very quickly.

As I came through the doors to the apartment building that evening, the man outside the lift waved at me to come closer. “Good evening, Togami-sama. I was told by your uncle to tell you that he went up to your apartment — apparently he had a gift for you of some sort.”

I felt my blood freeze in my veins. My uncle lived in France, first of all. Second, he never, _ever_ had good intentions towards me, and our relationship only got more strained after I became the heir of our clan; he thought that I would bring disgrace upon the name since I was the youngest, and therefore he refused to acknowledge me as the successor.

So obviously, this “gift” he’d left me would definitely be an unpleasant one, and I didn’t know if I wanted to find out what it was. Why had he bothered coming all the way from France to Japan? Just for this? It seemed very unlikely, but something inside me told me that I shouldn't underestimate him.

“Why… did you let him up? How did he even come into my apartment?” The man blinked a few times in confusion, completely oblivious as to why it was such a bad thing that he’d let my uncle into my apartment.

“Oh, he said he had a spare key, so I figured you were close… I am terribly sorry, I should not have done that, should I?” The fear grew in his facial expression as he spoke, and I felt my body starting to tremble.

“I’m… going up. Please don’t ever let that man up here again, call the police if necessary, I’m sure he’ll return here someday if he bothered to come all the way here from France.”

Finishing with that, I entered the lift and pressed the button to the penthouse floor with a shaky finger, the man staring at me with an expression of worry and terror. He looked genuinely sorry, and I believed he was. It wasn’t his fault, of course — I just wished he would have been more inquisitive. There was nothing I could do about it now, so I just had to go up there and see what “gift” I had gotten.

What I saw when I unlocked the door made me drop my keys to the marble floor, the shrill, clattering sound echoing in the hallway outside. The bastard had only come for destruction. I slowly stepped inside, eyeing the mess around me and feeling an uncomfortable shiver down my spine.

Vases had been thrown off the mantelpiece above the fireplace, leaving a cluster of porcelain on the carpet. Two of my dining room chairs were broken, my sheets, pillows and the duvet had been slashed to shreds. What was the most eerie thing about it all was the fact that only one of the portraits above the fireplace had been smashed — and it was a photo of me and my mother. The photo in itself was still intact, thankfully, but just the fact that he’d only broken that one meant something, and it meant that he was mad. Very mad.

I dug my phone out of my pocket and called the police, nearly demanding them to come over instantly, spiting my trembling voice. It took less than five minutes, and three police officers knocked on my door which I had left open since the shock of seeing the catastrophe in my apartment had me forgetting to close the door behind me.

“Togami Byakuya?” one of the officers said upon entering my apartment with the other two policemen.

“Yes”, I replied. “As you may know already, there has been a break-in in my apartment, and I know who’s responsible for this.”

One of the officers raised an eyebrow. “Really? Then this would make our job a lot easier.”

I told them the story and one of the men wrote down things on a small notepad whilst listening, occasionally nodding to let me know he was still paying attention. It didn’t take long, and when I was finished, they told me they would get to work immediately to try and catch my uncle while he was still in town, and since I had no idea when he’d leave, they had to work fast.

Somehow I knew those were empty promises.

 

*

 

I managed to clean up the mess left behind by my detestable uncle. I placed the parts of the broken chairs near the door, and I’d throw them out during the weekend sometime. I gathered all of my destroyed bedding and threw it into a plastic bag that I put next to the chairs.

I sat down on the couch, trembling with fear and rage. What had made him suddenly come to Japan, why did he feel the need to destroy furniture and my personal belongings?

I had so many questions in my mind, and I couldn’t calm down. I fiddled with my cross-tie and impatiently tapped my foot against the carpet until I finally grabbed my phone again and called Makoto.

“ _Yes?_ ” he said after only a few rings. Only hearing his voice made me feel a lot better, but I knew it wouldn’t fix me completely.

“Hi, Makoto. Sorry for calling out of the blue, but… you’re at home, right?” I glanced at the clock; it was just past six so he should’ve been off work for a few hours.

“ _Yeah, my shift ended at three. Why, what’s wrong?_ ”

I exhaled a shaky breath. “Can I come over? I’ll tell you when I get there.”

“ _Sure, come right over. You sure you don’t want me to come over instead?_ ”

I glanced at the plastic bag and chair parts by the entrance to my apartment and shuddered. I wasn’t safe there, I needed to get out. “I’m absolutely sure. Thanks for letting me come over on such a short notice. I’ll be there soon.”

I ended the call and made two more calls; one to the locksmith to request a lock change — and one call to Nakamura, asking for him to pick me up. I decided not to tell him about it since it’d only make him unnecessarily worried and he’d want to protect me twenty four hours a day, which was not what I wanted. Needed, maybe, but all I wanted right now was to get out of that apartment.

I arrived at Makoto and Kyouko’s apartment about fifteen minutes later. I thanked Nakamura for driving me and I practically ran up the stairs to the apartment building. Makoto greeted me outside, and I was so happy to see him that I felt a lump in my throat when he hugged me.

“What’s wrong, Byakuya? You’re shaking! Oh god, you’re worrying me… please tell me what happened”, he said, grabbing the sleeves of my blazer and staring up into my eyes with a worried expression.

“Can we go inside? I don’t want to talk about it out here”, I said, quickly glancing to the side to make sure no one was watching us.

He motioned for me to follow him into the apartment, and so I did. Kyouko was home, too, and she greeted me lazily from the couch, but her expression changed as she got a better look of me. We joined her on the sofa, and I sat down, exhaling slowly. “My uncle got into my apartment”, I said. “He apparently had a spare key and used it to get in to destroy some of my possessions.”

Makoto’s eyes widened, and his grip on my hand tightened. In the moment, I was still too shocked to really appreciate his concern for me.

“Are you okay?” Kyouko asked with a concerning look.

I nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. I’ve called for the locksmith to come and change the lock on my door and they said to be there already tomorrow morning after nine. Which means I have to take a few hours off work.”

“Don’t worry about work”, Makoto said. “Worry about yourself instead, because that’s what I’m doing. Did you report to the police?”

“I did, but I doubt they’ll go very far with this; there’s not much to do after all since nothing was stolen, and they’ll hardly put energy into trying and catching the damn bastard before he flies back home to France.” I felt bitterness seep through me as I spoke, and I took a few breaths, trying to calm myself down.

“You can stay here if you’d like”, Kyouko suggested. “I can sleep on the couch.”

I shook my head lightly. “No thank you, that’s alright. Once the locksmith changes the lock tomorrow, I’ll probably be fine. Thanks for asking, though.”

“But didn’t your uncle live in France? What’s he even doing in Japan?” Makoto asked.

I shrugged. “I wish I knew that myself. I have a feeling this isn’t about me closing down the corporation, though.”

Kyouko quirked an eyebrow, and I realised she didn’t know, so I briefly summarised things for her so she’d get a better grasp of the situation, after which she demanded I’d stay at least for the night, which I reluctantly obeyed to.

 

*

 

I had trouble sleeping that night. It was a night filled with nightmares, tossing and turning, and when I’d woken up with a jolt, Makoto was already awake and ready to help me calm down. He sat up and put my head on his chest, gently stroking my hair. I felt like such a child, but for some reason, it really did help me calm down. I was so grateful for having him back in my life.

I woke up the next morning at eight when Makoto’s alarm clock went off. I felt dirty having to reuse my old clothes after the shower, but knew I’d be able to change into something else when I got home to wait for the locksmith to arrive. I had breakfast with Makoto before we both left the apartment together as he headed to work.

“I’ll talk to you later”, I said, giving his hand a light squeeze before I let go and started to walk away. Makoto grabbed the hem of my sleeve, I turned around and he stood on his toes and kissed me.

He took the chain off of his neck and handed me the key he’d gotten to my apartment. “I’m probably not going to be able to use this anymore.” I stared at it for a while. “I’ll make a copy for you once the locks have changed, don’t worry.”

Makoto smiled. “Be careful, okay? Call me when you get off work.” And he was off.

I decided to walk all the way back home, which had sounded great at first because I wanted to clear my head and get some fresh air — but about halfway to my apartment, I started feeling paranoid, thinking my uncle would pop up behind every corner I passed, and I nearly ran the rest of the way to the apartment building.

“Togami-sama”, the lift man greeted me as I walked in, hearing in his tone that he wanted to apologise.

I put up a hand. “Don’t worry about it, I’m fine. I’m getting the locks changed today, anyway. If I could only request that you’d be more inquisitive once someone other than Makoto Naegi comes to visit me — that would be great.”

He nodded fervently. “Absolutely. I am so sorry about all this, it will certainly not happen again.”

I tried to smile to show my appreciation, and then I entered the lift.

The locksmith came around half past nine, and it didn’t take him long to get the lock changed. Once he was done, he gave me a set of two keys for the brand new lock on my door, and I smiled inside thinking how ironic it was that I only really needed two keys anyway. Perfect.

I arrived at work by ten and apologised profusely for being two hours late despite having told my boss that I’d be late. I felt that it would probably be appreciated anyway, which I had  been right to assume as he told me it was alright and that I could just go back to work as usual.

 

*

 

A week passed, and I still hadn’t heard anything neither from my uncle nor the police regarding the break-in. I had gotten into the work routine fairly well and was now archiving files, booking meetings and such without even having to think twice about how to do things and in what order. I realised that maybe I could actually enjoy doing this for a while — but definitely not in the long-run. I craved something more, but figured that this was a good start at least.

One Friday as I was in Matsuda’s office putting a few papers in folders and cleaning up before I was off work for the week. He was in a meeting at the time, and that meant I was alone in his office, which was the first time. It was a little scary, but since I was only doing my job, I had nothing to worry about — unless I failed in doing something, but that wasn’t going to happen — I had become fairly confident in my tasks by now.

Matsuda returned as I finished up and was about to take my blazer off the hanger to leave for the day. “Oh, Togami-kun, you’re all done. Thank you”, he said, closing the door behind him.

“Just doing my job, sir”, I said, smiling politely and turned towards the hanger again.

Suddenly, I felt two hands on my hips and a hot breath against my ear. I froze up, realising that was why he closed the door behind him — I thought it was odd since he knew I was going to leave for the day by this time.

“What… are you doing?” I hissed through clenched teeth, but I realised how I was trembling. At a time like this? I was disgusted with myself.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” he said in a low voice, letting his hands slowly slide around my waist. He yanked me away from where I was standing and forced me against his desk, and I felt my entire body stiffen. What the hell was he doing? Why me?

“Get your hands off me, scum”, I said, feeling my blood starting to boil. Was this how underlings were treated in the normal world? I knew my father had always treated our staff with little to no respect — but it was nothing like this; just a bunch of harsh words and sometimes, when he was really angry, he’d hit them.

“Oh? You’re a feisty boy, aren’t you?” God, I felt sick; he talked like a perverted old man and it made me want to throw up. A man I thought to be a respectable, ordinary man with a normal lifestyle turned out to be the exact opposite. The fact that I hadn’t seen any of the signs made me even more disappointed in myself; I was usually really good at reading people.

My filthy boss forcefully pushed me forward so that I was completely bent over his desk. He held my wrists together behind my back so I couldn’t move my arms. I gritted my teeth, knowing it’d only cause me more trouble if I screamed for help.

“Mmm, you’re very fit for your age”, he hummed, and as I felt his hand touch my private region, I gasped in horror and disgust. He chuckled. “It’ll only get more painful the more you resist. Besides, it’ll be over soon.”

Still holding a tight grip on my wrists with one hand, I heard him unbutton his pants behind me, and then his hand worked on my own. I was completely paralysed and terribly hindered because of his firm grip on my wrists behind my back. I shivered in fear and terror as I felt his hand pull down my underwear, travelling from my ass to my cock, and he gripped it firmly despite it not being in an aroused state. _It’s not going to happen, old man, so leave me alone and let me go home_. He forcefully spread my legs further apart and let his index finger trace the outsides of my entrance.

I was surprised by the fact that no one had come by the office yet like they usually did in the last minute — it felt like everything was planned from the beginning somehow. I grew desperate; I had to do something, kick him, shout, fight back — I couldn’t just stand there and let him fuck me over his desk.

A sudden rush of adrenaline went through my body as I finally found strength in my legs, and I kicked back as hard as I could and as I heard him groan in pain, I knew I’d hit the right spot. I turned around and kicked him down on the ground, pulled my underwear and pants up and took a few steps away from the disgusting man lying on the floor in a foetal position. I grabbed my blazer off the hanger and ran out the door, never to return to that building ever again.


	12. Conflict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto and Byakuya decide to tell Yasuhiro about their relationship, and Byakuya tells Makoto what happened to him at work.

I woke up that Friday morning with both my arms and legs tangled with Byakuya’s. I smiled, realising that this was the first time he’d slept in our apartment. I felt bad for Kyouko having to sleep on the couch, but as usual when she insisted on something, all I could do was oblige.

We walked out of the apartment building together and he headed in the other direction towards his own apartment where he’d open for the locksmith so they could change the lock on his door. With a heart feeling like a boulder, I walked in through the backdoor of the minimart. Aoi had already arrived, and she greeted me with a wave and a smile.

“Good morning, Makoto! Hey, you don’t look too good — are you sick or something?”

I forced a smile. “I’ll manage. I can tell you about it later, it’s a bit of a story.”

She nodded slowly, looking concerned. “Okay, if you say so.” She clapped her hands once, immediately switching back to her old cheery self. “Now, let’s get to work! It’s probably going to be a busy day, so we can’t hang around here all morning.”

It ended up being a rather slow-placed morning and after having stocked the shelves and cleaned up around the minimart, we mostly sat around and did nothing. During lunch, I finally told Aoi about what had happened the night before, and she listened with a look of horror on her face.

“God, that’s terrible. I’m glad he’s okay, though — I’d be scared shitless.”

I nodded slowly, poking around in my bento box which Kyouko so lovingly had prepared for me the night before prior to Byakuya’s arrival. “I might be naïve, but I’m hoping his uncle won’t be able to actually go back up there and cause more trouble. That’s not to say he can’t stop him when Byakuya’s out around town, though… Ugh, I don’t know what to do, I feel useless”, I said and hid my face in my hands.

Aoi put her hand on my shoulder. “Just be there for him. You’ll just have to trust him when he says he doesn’t need more than that from you; you can’t demand anything from him since it technically doesn’t involve you.”

“I suppose”, I agreed unwillingly.

She managed to smile a little. “I assume you two are official now, huh? It sounds like it when you talk about him.”

I blushed a little and cleared my throat. “Y-yeah. I still feel weird about calling him by his first name, like I’m disrespecting him or something. But it was his idea, so I’m just going along with it.”

Aoi laughed. “I’m glad it seems to be working out for the two of you. See, you should be thankful that I pushed you into calling him that day, remember?”

I thought back to that day when we were at work and she announced she’d met Togami in town, and how I’d been so shocked to hear his name again after all that time. Despite having thought about him nearly every day since he left, it felt incredibly weird when she mentioned his name again. I really was grateful to her, though. Had she not pushed me that day and nagged me to call him, I probably would have never done so. God knows if I’d ever actually meet him properly if I hadn’t contacted him. Maybe I’d bump into him on the street someday, but I doubt I’d be able to actually talk to him in that case.

I smiled. “You’re right; I _am_ thankful.”

 

*

 

I spent that evening with Kyouko and Aoi at our apartment. Yasuhiro would be working until late, so he wasn’t able to join us, unfortunately. The three of us played a few board games Aoi had brought with her, and we ended up watching part of a CSI marathon on TV as well.

“Are you sure you wanna sleep on the couch?” I asked Aoi as I came out of the shower. She waved her hand like she was trying to swat a fly. “Don’t worry about it! You guys have a cosy couch compared to mine; I don’t mind.”

I shrugged. “Alright, if you say so. Good night.”

The next day, we were joined by both Byakuya and Yasuhiro for the day. Unfortunately, just as we had met up at the part with the other two, rain started pouring down like mad, so we had to run all the way over to Byakuya’s apartment. We’d planned on having a smaller picnic in the park, but seeing as that wouldn’t happen now because of the rain, we’d just have to eat at Byakuya’s place instead.

It felt a little weird having lunch boxes when we were at someone’s apartment, but it was alright. We talked and had a lot of fun, and I was glad we were able to meet like this every now and then, despite packed work schedules and other activities. Conversation was never difficult in our little group; we always found things to talk about whether it was about life in general or things happening around us.

This particular Saturday, though, things took an unpleasant turn. We’d just finished lunch and were still sitting around the dining table. Two of the six chairs had been destroyed in the break-in, but Byakuya had already replaced them. I wasn’t surprised; he was always very thorough, borderline perfectionist, and I knew it bugged him when things weren’t correct.

Somehow, Yasuhiro — out of all people — started talking about this one same-sex couple who had recently gotten married at Disneyland in Tokyo, which was the first time in Japanese history where two people of the same sex got married. I knew we were treading on thin ice, so I chose not to say a whole lot. I was scared of saying too much, and considering the fact that _he_ had brought the subject up, it got so much more sensitive.

“I think it’s cool”, Kyouko said, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers. “Kind of shows that we’re stepping into the twenty-first century, finally.”

I glanced at my side and realised Byakuya held his tongue, too.

Yasuhiro grimaced. “I disagree. I was raised with other beliefs, and I think same-sex relationships are wrong to begin with. It’s unnatural — two people of the same sex can’t have kids, for example.”

“Adoption”, Byakuya suggested, but Yasuhiro kept his expression of disgust. “I wouldn’t trust a homosexual couple with my kid if I had to give them up for adoption. They could be a bad influence on the child.”

Byakuya suddenly stood up, and I saw how his eyes went dark with anger. I quickly took his hand to try and calm him down. “Byakuya, please”, I pleaded silently.

“No. I’m not going to listen to these ignorant comments. Not in my apartment. If you have issues with gay people, then I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave, Hagakure.”

Yasuhiro raised his eyebrows. “ _You_ , Togamicchi? I never would’ve guessed since you’re so strict and all that jazz.” A low growl emerged from Byakuya’s throat, and I took it as my cue to stand up to properly try and restrain him from doing something he’d probably regret.

“Come on, leave it”, I said. “It’s not worth getting fired up over.”

“Of course it is! I’m not going to tolerate someone who thinks my mere existence is unnatural. I’m still the same person inside, even if I’m attracted to men. Does that change your entire opinion of me, Hagakure?”

I tightened my grip on his hand, and he turned his face towards me. I sighed, realising we had to do all of this right now or we’d probably never be able to hang out with Yasuhiro ever again after this heated discussion.

“Yasuhiro, I’m dating Byakuya and I’m gay, but I’m still the same Makoto Naegi you went to school with”, I said, feeling my heartbeat increase as I talked. I watched Yasuhiro’s face go pale, his mouth opened and closed several times as if he was going to say something but regretted the words before he spoke them.

“I can’t believe it”, he said. “How long have you… been a thing?”

“About two weeks by now”, I replied.

Yasuhiro exhaled slowly and leaned back in his chair. Aoi and Kyouko had been quiet for a while, just watching things unfold, and I almost wanted them to say something, but at the same time I understood their silence. This was something between the three of us that we had to discuss whether we wanted to or not. I was as always hoping for the best outcome, but the longer this argument went on, the less likely it seemed.

“Does it matter, though? Would it be more acceptable to you if we’d been together for years? Can’t you just be a good guy and be happy for us instead?” Byakuya asked, and I heard how much he was trying to keep a civil tone and not completely lash out.

Yasuhiro didn’t respond. He silently got up from his chair and started walking towards the door. Aoi called after him, but was completely ignored as he slammed the door shut behind him, leaving an eerie silence in the apartment. I released my grip on Byakuya’s hand and sat down in my chair again, completely speechless.

“I can’t believe him! Did he seriously just leave without giving a proper response? Absolutely despicable”, Byakuya said and sat down, shaking his head.

“I’ll talk to him”, Aoi said. “I wanted you guys to be the ones to tell him yourselves since it was something that was about you. Otherwise I would’ve definitely done it. I’m sorry.”

I shook my head. “Don’t blame yourself. I hope he’ll come around soon, though — I’d hate it if this petty thing were to destroy our friendship.”

The girls left around two at night and headed to Aoi’s apartment, where Kyouko would spend the night. It had been a little awkward after Yasuhiro left; it was difficult to pretend like that hadn’t just happened but we didn’t let it ruin the rest of our night together.

I’d gotten into the shower before Byakuya; he’d insisted on me going in first and I didn’t feel like arguing — especially after what happened that night. Despite all of it, I felt moved by the fact that he’d so fearlessly talked about his sexuality in front of someone as conservative as Yasuhiro.

As I stood in the shower and rinsed the shampoo out of my hair, I heard a light knock on the door. “Yes?” I said. The door opened, and a few second later, Byakuya stepped in behind me. “I hope you don’t mind the intrusion”, he said and chuckled.

I turned to him and smirked. “I don’t, no. Were you that impatient that you couldn’t wait for your turn?”

Byakuya grabbed my arms and pulled me in for a kiss. He was aggressive, probably still aggravated by the weird discussion we had earlier, but he took it out in a way I actually liked.

He pushed me against the tile wall, kissing me down my neck to my collarbones and chest. I grabbed a fistful of his blond hair that was getting darker the wetter it got by the streaming water above our heads.

I forced him back up, I was in desperate need to feel his lips against my own. Byakuya wrapped his fingers around my length, and I hadn’t even realised how fast I’d gotten hard. “Turn around and grab onto the shelf. You might need it”, he whispered into my ear, his voice sending a shiver of excitement down my spine. I did as I was told, and as soon as I did, I felt him playfully trace a finger along the entrance for a few seconds before he pushed it in.

“Ah y-yes!” I cried out, tightening my grip on the shelf just above my head. A second digit was added, and I whimpered impatiently, wanting him inside me and wanting to feel his body pressed up against my own. It seemed like he was impatient, too, because it didn’t take long for him to pull his fingers out and insert his cock instead. I gasped and arched my back, felt his lips on my neck and his hands on my waist, thrusting his hips forward in a steady rhythm.

It didn’t take me long to reach climax, and Byakuya followed shortly after, screaming my name in doing so. I turned around when he pulled out, wrapping my arms around his neck and stood on my toes, reaching up to kiss him.

“Sorry about having to come inside you”, he mumbled between kisses.

“It’s okay”, I replied, even though it _did_ feel weird. “After all, we’re in a shower, aren’t we?”

He laughed. “Good point.”

 

*

 

A few days passed when we didn’t see each other; I spent most of my time off work with Kyouko since we didn’t get to spend a whole lot of time together nowadays. Byakuya was covered in work-related assignments and as much as I wanted to see him, I didn’t want to bother him and take up more of his precious time.

One day I decided to make an exception, and I went over to his apartment after work. Kyouko had texted me during lunch saying she’d come home late and that I could just order takeout instead of making dinner. I arrived to an empty penthouse flat, which felt a little odd but Byakuya had told me several times before that it was okay for me to go there since he trusted me. The same day he’d gotten the locks changed, he’d handed me a new key, which I was now once again wearing on a chain around my neck.

I sat down on the couch and pulled my legs up, turning on the TV. Somehow, just being in his apartment was soothing, even if I was alone and despite the fact that it was absolutely huge. I watched an episode of Criminal Minds before I was hit by a wave of exhaustion, and I ended up falling asleep right there on the couch.

Sometime later, I was woken up by the sound of the key turning in the lock. I sat up, rubbing my eyes and casting a glance at the clock on the wall. It was just past five, and I’d probably only been asleep for an hour or so.

“Hi”, I greeted Byakuya as he entered the apartment.

“Hey”, he said, kicking off his shoes and walking into the bedroom, throwing his briefcase onto the floor. Something seemed off, but I couldn’t point out what.

“How was your day?” I asked as I heard him opening and closing his wardrobe.

I listened for a response, but as I didn’t get one, I decided to get off the couch and talk to him face-to-face instead.

I entered his bedroom and found Byakuya sitting on his bed, blankly staring at the chair next to his desk. Worry started gnawing inside me, and I silently sat down beside him.

“Hey”, I called in a hushed voice, reaching to grab his hand. He retorted like he’d been stung, and immediately stood up.

I blinked a few times in confusion. “Byakuya, are you okay…?”

“Don’t! Yes, I’m okay! Please, just…” he began, but his voice faltered, and he sank down onto the bed again, burying his face in his hands. I knew he’d just told me that so I’d stop asking questions and leave him alone, but seeing him like this told me I obviously couldn’t just leave him like that.

I scooted closer and put my arms around him, leaning his head back against my chest. I gently stroked his hair and felt that he was trembling. “Byakuya… please, talk to me, tell me what’s wrong. I’m worried about you.”

He didn’t say anything for a while; he sat still in my arms, trembling and exhaling shaky breaths. I’d never seen him like this; I was so used to his stoic facial expressions up until just recently when we’d become close and he actually _smiled_ , he started laughing more often and seemed genuinely happy. That image clashed horribly with what I was witnessing now.

“I’m quitting my job”, he said after a while, having calmed down a little. I knew I should have expected that from the way he’d been acting since he came home, but the announcement still came as somewhat of a shock.

“What happened, Byakuya?” I asked, and took his hands in mine.

“That disgusting pig tried to sexually assault me”, he said in a low voice, and I felt like my head started spinning. “He had me pinned down against his desk and—“, he cut off, choking on the last few words.

I lifted him up until he sat properly again and I embraced him. “I’m so sorry”, I whispered, close to tears. “Are you… are you going to report him?”

He sighed heavily. “No. I’m never going back there and I don’t want anything to do with them ever again. I just want to forget about it.”

We sat on his bed, tightly enveloped in an embrace for a long time. I felt like I could hold him forever; I wanted to protect him, be near him at all times and make sure he was okay.

“Makoto”, Byakuya said after a long time of silence.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. I’m glad you’re here.” That was all he said, but I didn’t need to hear much more. Just being there was enough for him, and that was all that mattered to me.

 

*

 

I was sent off to work despite wanting to stay at home with Byakuya that day. He told me not to worry, that he’d be fine and just needed some time to himself. Reluctantly, I walked out and locked the door behind me before taking the lift down.

That morning, I was in charge of baking bread, and therefore I had to be there earlier. We had about four different kinds of fresh baked breads available every day; croissants, melon bread, cinnamon rolls and anpan, which was bread filled with red bean filling. Most of the time, Aoi and I did the baking, but sometimes the manager came in earlier in the mornings to do it for us.

Whenever we protested, he said he didn’t mind doing it since we tended to the minimart all day by ourselves anyway, and he felt like he had to compensate us somehow because he was gone most all the time doing paperwork. Aoi came in around fifteen minutes before our shift started. She helped me carry out the bread and stocked the freezers before we opened for the day. We took turns standing behind the register and helping whoever came in and wanted help with finding something.

Mostly, there were older people coming in during the early hours of the day, and around lunchtime things slowed down considerably which was great for us since we could take time off for lunch, too.

“We’ve finally decided to move in together”, Aoi announced happily as we sat down for lunch in the backroom. Since we had a sensor above the doors, we’d easily hear if anyone came in and one of us could go out and take care of the customers.

I smiled widely. “That’s great! So what are you going to do?”

“He’s moving in with me and selling his apartment. We figured since my place is a little more central, it’s a better idea. Although his apartment is slightly bigger, this is better in the long-run anyway, for the both of us.”

We finished lunch having only been interrupted once, and I went out to take care of the customer who came in. I considered sending Byakuya a text to see if he was okay, but I knew he’d probably either just ignore it or tell me to “stop worrying and go back to work”. He was a very independent person and didn’t like people doting around with him, but despite that, I felt the need to be closer to him now after what happened.

After having parted ways with Aoi, I decided to at least give Byakuya a call, so I dug my phone out of my pocket and dialled his number.

“ _Yes, Makoto?_ ”

“Hey, how are you?” I said, walking up the street leading to our apartment complex. It was chilly out, and you could really tell that autumn was here now.

“ _I’m doing well. How was your day?_ ”

“It was okay. Aoi told me she and Yasuhiro are finally moving in together.” I realised too late that maybe I shouldn’t have brought up his name, but Byakuya ignored it.

“ _I’m not surprised. Do you have any plans for Sunday, by the way?_ ”

Aside from the little gathering we’d planned for Saturday, I hadn’t planned anything else that weekend. Kyouko’s birthday was fast approaching, but I didn’t have anything to worry about since I’d already gotten her a present.

“No, why?”

He took some time to reply. “ _I was thinking maybe we could go on a date again_ ”, and I realised why it’d taken him a few seconds. He was still very reluctant about showing signs of being interested in things, and it amused me. I knew he was trying to change and become a more open and friendly person — and I really appreciated his efforts.

“I like the sound of that. Did you think of anything in particular?”

I unlocked the door to the apartment and wasn’t surprised to find it empty. Kyouko had left earlier than me — which she usually did — so I hadn’t gotten a chance to say goodbye to her in the morning. It might seem like a small thing, but considering what we’ve all been through and combining that with what she did for a living, I felt like I needed to do so whenever I could.

“ _Not really, no. We’ll figure something out_ ”, Byakuya said.

“Okay. I don’t mind, I just like spending time with you”, I said, smiling to myself.

“ _Good. Are you staying over from Saturday, then?_ ” I’d already promised Kyouko I’d spend the night at home since it was her birthday, and since we barely saw each other nowadays, I wanted to at least spend that night at home so she wouldn’t have to sleep alone.

“Sorry, I’m going back home that night, but I can come over after breakfast on Sunday”, I said.

He let out a pretend-whine. “ _Okay, if that’s how you want to play. Joking. I’ll see you on Saturday, Makoto_.”

We hung up and I went to the fridge to see if we had anything I could snack on. We had a few onigiri rolls from the minimart still, so I grabbed one of those and sat down on the couch to watch TV for a bit. Unwillingly, my mind drifted towards school since TV couldn’t hold my attention for longer than ten minutes. I was nineteen and still had a chance to get a degree in something I enjoyed and maybe get a better job than at a minimart.

I still couldn’t bring myself to even think about throwing myself into a school environment again, despite it having been well over a year since I’d been inside a school. I knew that the risks of ending up in a situation similar to that one again were extremely low, but something inside me still stopped me from doing it. I’d talked to Aoi about it at work once, and she said she was on the same page. She wanted to continue studying, but she felt that she still wasn’t mentally prepared for it. The thing was that we hadn’t really done much to speed up the healing process, either — none of us had actually gone to see a therapist since we immediately started looking for jobs instead.

Constantly escaping from my problems was probably not a good idea, especially since I still had nightmares and the occasional panic attacks at night. I was lucky enough to always have someone in bed next to me who could calm me down — but I realised it would never be quite enough.

 


	13. Abrupt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyouko's birthday!

That Saturday morning, I got up at eight and silently sneaked out of the room to prepare Kyouko a birthday breakfast. She was a light sleeper, so just sneaking out was an ordeal that took far more energy than what should really be deemed normal for sneaking. When I got back into the bedroom with the tray in both hands, she was still asleep somehow. She probably had a pretty rough day at work the day before, so I couldn’t blame her if she was more exhausted than usual.

“Hey, birthday girl, wake up”, I whispered as I put the tray down on my side of the bed. She grunted and turned around so she was now facing me.

She opened her eyes and let them fall on the tray. “You made me breakfast?” she asked.

“Yeah, of course. Happy birthday, Kyouko.”

She sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Wow. Thank you, this is really sweet of you.”

I grinned. “That’s not all. Hang on a minute.”

I got up and pulled out one of my drawers in which I’d hid her gift card, and returned to bed with it.

“You even got me a _gift?_ ” she asked, eyes widening.

“Of course, how could you think I wouldn’t?” I replied with a pretend-hurtful expression.

She took the gift card out of the small envelope and smiled. “Oh wow… Makoto, you didn’t have to. Ah, this is too much. Thank you.” She put her arms around me, and I hugged her back.

“It’s warranted for two people, so you don’t have to go alone. I don’t know how much fun that would be, to be honest.”

Kyouko laughed. “Yeah, it doesn’t like something I’d do on my own. Again, thank you, this was perfect.”

We had breakfast and got out of bed just after half past nine. I told Kyouko I’d take her out on a day where she got to choose what we were going to do and I had no say in it whatsoever. Of course she wanted to watch a film. She said there weren’t any interesting films running at the cinema right now, so we ended up watching “The usual suspects” at home instead, a DVD we’d bought months ago but forgot to watch for some reason.

I really enjoyed it; it was one of those films where you really had to pay attention from the very first second, and then everything started making sense towards the end. I found myself staring at the screen for a few minutes during the credits, totally speechless.

Kyouko turned off the DVD player and the television. “That… was a really good film”, she said.

“Uh-huh”, I managed to reply, still in a baffled state. “Kevin Spacey is amazing.”

“He really is. Did you ever watch ‘Pay it forward’ with him?” As I shook my head, she continued, enthusiastically: “We _have_ to see that one, you’re going to love it!”

We went out and did some window shopping; Kyouko said she desperately needed new clothes for work, and I didn’t object to going with her; I enjoyed seeing her get excited over, and wanting to do, things. Back in the day, she’d had a stoic personality similar to Byakuya’s; she was initially very difficult to get to know since she was very secretive and didn’t want to make friends.

Somewhere along the line, we’d gotten close thanks to us always investigating crime scenes and solving cases together at Hope’s Peak, and when we were finally rescued by the Future Foundation, we started actually working together, and that brought us even closer. During our time working for the Future Foundation, I think all of us changed in a way, and it was probably thanks to us finally being out of the hell that was Hope’s Peak, a situation that had held all of us back in some way or another.

“Hey, what do you think about this skirt?” Kyouko said, coming out of the changing booth. I was sitting outside, patiently waiting for her to make a decision. She’d tried on a dark violet pleated skirt with a darker coloured belt attached to it.

I smiled. “You really like that colour, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I suppose so. I’ve never really thought about using colours other than dark violet, black or white, to be honest. So, what do you think?”

“I like it, it suits you.”

She spun around once. “Really?”

This time I laughed. “Yes, stop worrying, just buy it if you like it!”

She ended up buying the skirt.

As we were heading home, I texted Byakuya that we were just going to get changed and were then ready to go. He’d offered to let Nakamura come get us, which was really nice. Especially of Nakamura, since it was a Saturday and all.

“ _Alright, he said he’ll be outside your apartment in half an hour. You think you’ll be ready by then?_ ”

I texted back an affirmative reply as we walked through the door back at home. I let Kyouko shower first, and then I went in after her. We hadn’t planned anything _too_ big, just a dinner at Byakuya’s apartment catered by that Italian restaurant Byakuya and I had been at a few weeks prior. Aoi was coming, but we had no idea whether Yasuhiro would show up or not. Byakuya told me he didn’t really care, but if Yasuhiro _did_ show up, he had to apologise before even setting his foot inside the apartment.

“Okay, spill the beans, Makoto. You’ve obviously planned something”, Kyouko said as I came into the bedroom after my shower. She was still only in her underwear, tapping her foot impatiently against the floor.

“Yeah, okay. I have planned something, but I’m not telling you about it, it’s supposed to be a surprise, you know. Just put on something nice, don’t worry too much about the clothing, if that’s what you’re brooding over.”

She clicked her tongue. “Only partially. I don’t like surprises.”

I laughed. “Well, relax — like I said, it’s not a huge thing. Next year, maybe, because you’re turning twenty…”

Kyouko threw a t-shirt at me, which I caught in the last millisecond before it hit my face. “Alright, I’ll play along. What happens now?”

“Get dressed, we’re being picked up in five minutes or so. You’ll see soon.”

I could see she was still impatient, but knew she’d bear with it for my sake. We got dressed and like I’d predicted, there was a ring on the doorbell just a few minutes after we’d both gotten ready and were sitting on the couch, waiting.

“Makoto-sama, Kyouko-sama, good evening. Kyouko-sama, happy birthday”, Nakamura greeted us, bowing elegantly as we opened the door.

“Good evening”, we said in unison, exchanged glances and smiled. Kyouko looked back at Nakamura and bowed her head slightly. "Thank you."

 

*

 

“You’re not even going to ring the doorbell? Are you _that_ proud to have a key to his apartment?” I knew that was a joke, but I still poked her in the side with my elbow as I unlocked the door to Byakuya’s apartment.

“Hey, we’re here”, I called as we stepped inside and took our shoes off. Byakuya emerged from the kitchen, and I realised I could already smell the food. Apparently Kyouko did, too, because she immediately started sniffing the air.

“It smells delicious”, she said as we walked in to the living room.

Byakuya snorted, having probably sensed the surprised tone in her voice. “Don’t worry, I’m not in charge of cooking. Happy birthday, Kirigiri.”

She grinned. “Thanks.”

“Any word from Asahina?”

I shook my head. “I’ll call her to see where she is.”

Two minutes later, I’d found out she was indeed on her way; she’d taken the bus which was apparently late because a car had broken down in the middle of a roundabout, causing a slight delay in traffic. When she did come over, though, she wasn’t coming alone. Wearing an apologetic expression on his face, Yasuhiro stepped forward to Byakuya first, and stretched out his hand.

“I’m sorry about what I said. I do accept and respect you for who you are, Togamicchi. Same goes for you, Naegicchi. I’m still trying to change, but that probably doesn’t excuse my behaviour earlier.”

Byakuya seemed hesitant at first, but decided to shake Yasuhiro’s hand in the end. “It’s fine. I’m in the same boat as you; I’m trying to change myself as well. Hopefully we can get along well from now on.”

It was probably the most mature thing I’d ever seen either of them do, and it was even a bit touching, to be honest. Yasuhiro turned to me and stretched out his hand to me as well. “Can you forgive my idiotic actions, Naegicchi?”

I smiled, taking his hand. “Yeah. Thank you, Yasuhiro, this means a lot.”

We made it into the living room where Aoi, Yasuhiro and Byakuya gave Kyouko a present each. She protested at first, saying that the dinner coming up was enough, but when the others protested against her, she didn’t have much of a choice other than to just accept the kindness of her friends.

Yasuhiro had bought her a marine blue scarf and a pair of black leather gloves, which surprised even me — I’d never imagined him to be so creative (I thought he’d go my route and get her a gift card or something… that shows how much I knew about him). Kyouko instantly fell in love with the earrings Aoi had gotten her, and they hugged for quite a bit after she’d opened the present.

Last but not least, it was Byakuya’s turn. He had refused to let me know beforehand what he’d be getting her, so even I was clueless as to what it could be. He pulled out an envelope from below one of the cushions on the sofa. As Kyouko opened it, her eyes widened and she put a hand over her mouth.

“Kirigiricchi, are you…?”

“Shut up, I’m not crying! Togami, this is… this is too much, I can’t accept this.”

“Wait, what is it?” Aoi asked. I got curious, too, and stood up so I could glance over at what the card said. It wasn’t actually a card — it was a cheque for plastic surgery at the best hospital in town. “No way”, I whispered.

Byakuya shifted in his seat, becoming visibly uncomfortable with all the attention his gift was getting. “I know how long you’ve wanted to take care of those scars. You know very well I have money to spare, and I wanted to give you this. You’re probably tired of wearing those every day, aren’t you?” he said, cocking his head towards her gloved hands, which still held the cheque in a tight grip.

Kyouko suddenly stood up and went over to Byakuya, whom she cast her arms around. He seemed as baffled by it as I felt, and I saw how shocked both Aoi and Yasuhiro were, too.

“Thank you”, she said with a slightly trembling voice, barely audible to the rest of us. Byakuya returned the embrace. “You’re welcome”, he responded with one of his rare smiles that made my heart swell with awe.

Byakuya had ordered a few appetisers; several kinds of cheeses, sausages and olives. For our main, we could choose between lasagna, pasta carbonara and a porcini risotto. Last but not least there were the desserts which had been placed in the fridge as soon as they had been delivered; panna cotta with raspberries, blueberries and strawberries on top.

“Wow, this was an amazing dinner”, Yasuhiro commented upon finishing his dessert.

Kyouko nodded, stuffing a spoonful of berries into her mouth. “Thank you, Togami – this is the best birthday I’ve ever had. I can’t believe you guys did this for me.”

I smiled. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. I did, too, and it wasn’t even my birthday.”

“But you’re the first one to turn twenty next year, Makoto! How does that feel?” Aoi teased, and I cringed a little.

“I’m not too excited about not being a teenager anymore, but what can you do. At least I can buy my own alcohol whenever I turn twenty.”

 

*

 

“I’ll drop by around eleven or so”, I said to Byakuya as we were heading out the door — Aoi and Yasuhiro were already outside. It was two in the morning and indeed time to head back home.

“Sounds good. Do you want me to send Nakamura to pick you up?”

I shook my head. “It’s a Sunday — let the man rest.”

He laughed. “Okay then. See you tomorrow.” And with a light kiss on the forehead, I was sent off.

We arrived back at home just before half past two and immediately went to bed. When Kyouko came to bed after me and took her gloves off, I looked at her new pair resting on the nightstand on her side. “I still can’t believe Byakuya has essentially already paid for your plastic surgery”, I said.

She crawled under the covers and sighed. “Yeah, I can’t believe it, either. I don’t know how I’d ever be able to repay him.”

“He’ll just refuse if you try – trust me, I’ve tried just paying for his tea when we’ve been out but he’s always told me to let him pay. I’d almost say he’s _too_ generous, but that still sounds rude.”

Kyouko nodded slowly. “You got lucky, Makoto. And I don’t just mean ‘good for you, you’re shagging a rich guy’, but also that he’s a genuinely good person. I’ve seen some of his good sides before, but tonight he really proved to me how much he’s changed. It’s not about the money, it’s the thought behind it that still shocks me.”

I think all of us were still trying to adjust to the new Byakuya. He still had some elements of his old personality, which I preferred since I wouldn’t want him to change _completely_. But all in all, he’d definitely changed for the better.

After a quick breakfast, I took the car to Byakuya’s apartment. I rarely got to use the car nowadays since Kyouko took it to work every day, but today she said she wasn’t going anywhere too far, so she told me to take it. I didn’t mind walking, but it took about fifteen minutes while driving only took five — and today was a rather chilly day. It was sunny out, but a little too cold for walking.

“Good morning”, I said as I walked in through the door. “I’m in here, come right in”, I heard from somewhere in the apartment. I took my shoes off and walked inside. He wasn’t in the living room, not in the kitchen, the bathroom door was open… obviously I’d find him in his bedroom.

“You haven’t even gotten out of bed?” I said as I walked in. He snorted. “Of course I have. I just came back here for a bit to relax. Join me.”

Somehow I knew he had an ulterior motive for laying on top of his bed. As soon as I sat down next to him, he pulled me down on top of him and started kissing me, letting his hands run over the top of my body as I straddled him.

“Did you miss me that much?” I practically whispered; I was already getting aroused. This guy had some mysterious powers within him that made me go horny borderline insane in a few seconds.

Byakuya pulled me down towards him and kissed my neck. “Let’s make this part of our date, hmm?”

“Uh-huh”, I stuttered.

We switched positions, and he pulled my shirt over my head as I did the same to his. The lube and condoms were out within seconds next to us on the bed; Byakuya was impatient. I was, too, which he probably noticed as I tugged on his sweatpants, lying below him on my back.

“It feels like we haven’t been together for days”, he murmured into my ear before he pulled my legs up, and I slumped my shoulders, sighing.

“I saw you yesterday”, I teased.

He clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. “We haven’t _had sex_ in days, and I’ve been going nuts. I’ve really missed you like this, you know.”

I felt my cheeks burn, and I bit my lower lip. “I know.”

I heard a pop and realised it was the bottle cap. Byakuya coated his index and middle fingers and let them circle around my entrance as I squirmed, eager for him to push them in. Still teasing, he leaned forward to kiss me and I took this as my chance to pull down his boxers and wrap my fingers around his girth. With a gasp, he locked his eyes with mine and finally pushed his fingers inside me, scissoring them. I grabbed the sheets below me, breathing heavily and letting my eyes flutter shut. Byakuya kissed me along my neck, occasionally biting and licking, making me shudder out of sheer pleasure.

Finally, he replaced his two fingers with his cock, making me arch my back and yelp out a moan. Byakuya put his arms around me, making me sit up in his lap and ride him instead of lying down. I noticed how aggressive, hungry and passionate we both were — you could tell we hadn’t had sex in a while.

Byakuya pushed me back down onto the bed and thrust into me with a rough motion whilst kissing me, letting his moans drown in our kisses. I came, screaming and writhing in bed with a blond boyfriend collapsing over me, heavily breathing.

 

*

 

Byakuya and I showered together before heading out. It had gotten a bit warmer since I went out the first time that day, but it still wasn’t anywhere near comfortable.

“Where do you want to eat?” he asked me as we turned the corner and ended up in the busy downtown area.

I shrugged. “I don’t really care, I could go for anything. I’ll leave it up for you to decide.”

We ended up having sushi at a little corner restaurant I’d only been to once or twice before. The food was great, the staff friendly and the atmosphere was really cosy — I decided we had to there more often, and Byakuya agreed. I couldn’t believe I’d overlooked that restaurant for so long, and was glad we’d taken the time to decide where to have lunch or we probably would’ve gone somewhere else.

As we walked out of the restaurant, Byakuya got a text message, and his face suddenly lit up. “It’s from my cousin Mathieu”, he said. “Apparently he and his sister are in town right now, and they want to see me.”

I smiled. “Really? Wow, that’s great! You should go see them, and I’ll go spend some time with Kyouko.”

He took my hand with an apologetic look. “Are you sure? We get to spend so little time together as it is — I don’t want to just leave you.”

“It’s fine, you see your cousins more seldom than me, don’t you? Really, you should go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow or something.” I stood on my toes and kissed him before we went our separate ways and I walked back to the apartment.

“Hello?” I called as I unlocked the door to the apartment and stepped inside. There was no answer, so I texted Kyouko to see where she was. About two minutes later, she replied saying she was out with a co-worker having coffee. I was glad she’d made friends at work so she wouldn’t have to be at home all the time when I was out with Byakuya.

I went on the internet for a bit on my laptop. It was a dark green laptop from Hope’s Peak with the school emblem on the lid that I'd gotten during our first year. While seeing it gave me uncomfortable shivers, I couldn’t yet be bothered to spend money on a new one just because of a stupid logo. I read the news for a bit, but got bored quickly and decided to watch TV instead. They showed “The Mentalist” on one of the channels, and although the episode had been going for about ten minutes already, I decided to watch the rest of it. “The Mentalist” was one of those shows I’d always liked to watch, but it usually ran during the hours I was at work, so I rarely got to see any of it.

When the episode ended, I turned the TV off and decided to doze off for a bit, at least until Kyouko got back. I felt like I hadn’t really had much time to myself and to just relax in quite a while, which was strange. Ever since I started dating Byakuya, we’d hung out pretty much as soon as we both didn’t have to work, and if I wasn’t with him, I was either with Kyouko or the entire gang.

I was woken up sometime later by my phone buzzing loudly on the coffee table. I looked at what time it was and realised it was already just past five in the evening. How did I manage to sleep for so long, and where was Kyouko?

“Hello?” I said as I picked up the call and cleared my throat. “ _Makoto-sama? Good evening, this is Hiroshi Nakamura. I’m terribly sorry to call you at this time, you are probably having dinner right now._ ”

“Oh, no, it’s fine, we don’t usually have dinner at this time, don’t worry.” Why did Byakuya’s _driver_ call me all of a sudden? I tried to hide the surprise in my tone as I spoke.

“ _I got your number from Byakuya-sama’s phone — I hope you don’t mind me calling. I need to let you know that Byakuya-sama has been taken into the hospital. His injuries are… perilous_.”

I felt my hand go limp as I dropped the phone onto the carpet. Byakuya… in the hospital? Why? What happened? Had he been in an accident? I had so many questions in my head, but my body had gone completely numb and I couldn’t do anything, I just listened to Nakamura’s voice calling my name on the phone countless times.

Eventually, I managed to pick the phone back up with a trembling hand. “Can I… can I go see him?” I nearly whispered.

“ _I am afraid they don’t allow visitors now as he will be taken into surgery; I am sitting in the waiting room outside. Would you like to come over?_ ”

Didn’t he already know the answer to that? I thanked him for letting me know and hurried out the door. _Please let him survive, don’t take him away from me now_.


	14. Crimson red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya's bad luck continues.
> 
>    
>  **Trigger warning: Physical abuse.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year!
> 
> ... maybe this isn't such a good way to end off this terrible year, though.

_Byakuya_.

 

I was surprised when Mathieu sent me that text message, to say the least. I hadn’t heard a single thing about him and Amelie coming to visit, but then I realised that they were probably there since my uncle had been in town. He probably hadn’t left yet, but if they had been here the entire time — why hadn’t they contacted me before?

“ _Where do you want to meet?_ ” I sent to Mathieu as Makoto had just left. I felt kind of bad for ditching him but he insisted on me going to see my cousins who I barely get to see anyway. I was hoping I could see Makoto more often this coming week as I didn’t have a job to go to.

“ _We’re staying at Hotel Edoya, I’m in room 253. Come on up, I’ll tell the receptionist you’re coming._ ”

I snorted. What made him think I actually knew where that was? I swore silently to myself as I had to go through the ordeal of looking it up on my phone before I made my way there. Fortunately, it wasn’t too far away from where I was currently standing and would only take up to five minutes by foot.

When I arrived in the reception, I stated my last name (as I unfortunately shared with my uncle still) and they told me to go ahead. I took the lift up to the second floor and walked along the well-decorated halls until I reached door 253, and I knocked. I heard footsteps that were a tad bit too heavy to be Mathieu’s, and I was proven to be right as the door opened.

“Tetsuya?!” I breathed as I felt my heart stop. My uncle grinned at me. “Been a while, huh, Byakuya?” With a strong grip, he pulled me in by the collar, slamming the door shut behind us.

He threw me onto the floor and kicked me in the side. “I saw you out in town the other day. Fucking disgusting. How can you disgrace your family like that?”

I groaned, holding my hand to my side and turning over. “What are you talking about?” I managed to say before he kicked me again, this time right in my stomach. Doing so caused me to cough violently and try to gasp for air.

“Don’t play smart with me, you little faggot! So you’re having sex with men now, is that it? Is that how you choose to pass on our name, our legacy? Is this a fucking _joke_ to you?!”

 _He must’ve seen me with Makoto_ , I thought to myself. Maybe that was why he was in my apartment, to give me a warning? I was nineteen years old, lived on my own and made my own decisions — yet this man managed to make me feel like I was once again a little kid who should be supervised at all times.

“Answer me!” he shouted whilst continuously kicking me all over my body. I tried shielding myself as best I could, but it was pointless; he would still find places on my body that I couldn’t hide from his kicks, his rage.

“What… do you want me to say?” I wheezed before I coughed again, this time colouring the floor beneath me in crimson.

“I want you to tell me why you think that it’s okay for you to have sex with men and be a disgrace to our family! I can’t believe they made you the heir, you’re in no way fit to be put in that position.”

I couldn’t lift my head to see his face, but I knew he was boiling with anger at this point. As he ranted on, he lost focus on me for a few seconds — and I saw my chance to try and crawl away and stand up. Unfortunately, he was too fast for me.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going, you idiot?” He quickly leaned down and grabbed my hair, smashing my head against the wall. I heard a ringing noise in my head after the impact and his voice was partially drowned out by the noise.

“Stop… doing this. I can’t… breathe”, I said, but it came out as a mere whisper. Tetsuya laughed out loud, putting his foot on my chest. “That’s what I’m aiming for, you know. What are you going to do now? Call for your dear mother? She’s dead, isn’t she? You don’t have anyone, Byakuya. You’re all _alone_ now.”

I wasn’t alone, I knew that much. I had finally managed to become friends with my old classmates, I’d started dating the guy I’d wanted for so many years. Things were finally starting to work out — and I wasn’t alone. It was one of the few things I could say for certain these days, one thing I knew no one would be able to lie to me about no matter how hard they tried to distort the truth.

“I’m not… alone”, I sputtered, several drops of blood spraying onto the floor as I spoke.

He chuckled darkly. “Oh, but you _are_ , Byakuya. You’re destined to be alone, and you know that.” He leaned forward, getting so close that I could smell the alcohol in his breath. Of course he was drunk; it was almost part of his identity now, after so many times of having fallen and failed, so many times where he'd solved his problems by drinking. And now it had become a part of him.

Tetsuya kicked me in the chest again, and I could’ve sworn I felt something _break_ inside me, as if I was made out of porcelain and someone had just dropped me onto the floor. An intense pain shot through my ribcage and I screamed at the top of my lungs, partially out of pain, partially because I really wanted someone to come in before it was too late.

“You do realise that we’re the ones who inherit your fortune when you die, right? So if I were to kill you right here”, he demonstrated by once again shoving my head against the wall, “I could just get out of here, no one would notice and I would get away with it. Eventually I’d get a hold of your money, Byakuya, and the family’s well-earned money will be in my possession.”

As he spoke the last few words, I felt like I was in a dream, slowly drifting off into some faraway land. I heard the door open and two voices other than Tetsuya’s started shouting. What were they saying? Who were they? Why were they here?

“Byakuya, can you hear me? Byakuya?! Oh god… Mathieu, call the police!” It was Amelie, I realised, feeling her cradle my head in her lap. I felt something warm running down the side of my head… was it blood? I couldn’t think much of it before I finally lost consciousness.

 

*

 

I opened my eyes, realising I was back at my apartment. Wait, _my apartment_? How had I gotten there? Wasn’t I just at Hotel Edoya with my uncle and my cousins? Hadn’t I just gotten beat up by my homophobic uncle who was intent on actually killing me?

Having put on my glasses, I got out of bed and walked over to the mirror to see my injuries. Strangely enough, it didn’t hurt to walk, it was like nothing had happened. When I saw myself in the mirror, I was even more puzzled — no bruises, no cuts, no blood, nothing. Was that all just a dream?

I had to see Makoto. I didn’t care about having breakfast, I just had to see him and let him know just how much he meant to me — because I thought I’d lost that chance forever when I had been beat up by my uncle. Although, did that really happen? I had no idea what to think, but I knew I at least had to go see my boyfriend. I texted him at first, asking if he was at home. I decided not to call Nakamura for a ride, instead I walked the entire way to Makoto’s and Kirigiri’s apartment.

As I’d made it halfway, I still hadn’t gotten a reply, so I called him instead. Same thing there, nothing. Where could that boy possibly be on a Sunday without his phone?

Instead, I called Kirigiri, and what greeted me caught me completely off guard. She could barely answer because of her heavy sobbing. “ _H-hello?_ ” What on Earth had gotten into her?

“Kirigiri? Where are you? Where’s Makoto?”

As soon as I’d finished that sentence, she started outright crying, and it made me feel very uncomfortable. Not in the sense that I found it annoying, it was just… unnatural. I’d barely seen her express any emotions at all, and to hear her cry over the phone was very odd, and I had no idea what to do.

“ _He’s… h-he’s been… he was in a car crash. Fuck, I shouldn’t have let him take the car. Togami, it’s my fault. I’m so s—_ “

“Where are you?” I cut her off, preventing her from blaming herself from something she obviously had no control over. I tried pushing the panic to the back of my mind; I had to stay calm and at least get to where he was before I could do anything else.

Kirigiri let me know which hospital they were at, and I nearly ran all the way there with the sound of my heart pounding right in my head. Why did this happen? I thought _I_ was the one who had been sent to the hospital, not him. What the hell was going on?

I ran in through the doors to the emergency reception. “I-I’m here to see Makoto Naegi”, I said, trying to catch my breath.

The woman behind the desk looked at her computer screen for a few seconds and then back to me. “He’s been taken into surgery, but you can wait outside in the waiting room. I hear there’s already someone here waiting for him.”

She let me know which corridor to go to, I thanked her and quickly made my way there. As I got closer, I saw Kirigiri sitting on one of the chairs outside the ER with her face hidden in her hands, but she noticed me coming. She stood up and ran towards me, and I put my arms around her trembling body. It was strange; we’d never really been close despite having known each other for a few years. Up until just recently, we’d still been like classmates who barely spoke to each other, and to think a thing like this would bring us even closer was… bittersweet, if that’s even something you could use to describe it.

We sat down eventually, but I kept her head on my shoulder to calm her down despite my own inner storm of emotions.

“What happened?” I asked calmly.

Kirigiri took a few deep breaths before answering. “He said… he was going to drive to Yasuhiro’s apartment and… spend time with him there. I didn’t think much of it, he rarely gets to use our car anyway because… I use it every day for work.”

I nodded, and she took a pause to wipe the tears that were running down her cheeks. I still had no idea how long Makoto had been in there, how long she had been sitting outside, waiting for a doctor to come out and give a status report. I hated myself for thinking that his title as Super High School Level Good Luck should be enough to save him this time as it had done at Hope’s Peak. Maybe he only got one chance out of it.

Kirigiri was just about to continue her story as the doors to the surgery opened and a man in a white coat stepped out. I felt my heart starting to beat rapidly again, and I felt Kirigiri’s hand tighten her grip on my own. “I assume you are both here for Makoto Naegi”, the doctor began, and we nodded, not being able to say a word. “Naegi-kun suffered grave injuries to his abdomen and head in the crash. We tried our best to save him, but we failed. I am so sorry.”

I felt air rush out of my lungs and my head started spinning. It was like a black vortex had opened up beneath my feet, ready to suck me in. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had just gotten him back into my life, I was ready to give my all to him, change myself as a person for him. He had my heart in his hands, and now he was—

“W-wait… you’re saying…?”

“He’s _dead_?” The doctor nodded slowly at Kirigiri, and as he did, I woke up.

 

*

 

“Byakuya? Oh thank god you’re awake, I was so worried…”

I slowly opened my eyes and was immediately greeted by a bright ceiling lamp right above my head. I was in a bed that wasn’t my own, the walls were bare and white, it smelled like hand sanitiser — and I had an oxygen mask covering my nose and mouth. To say I was confused is a vast understatement. I slowly turned my head to the side to find Makoto sitting next to me. I let my eyes wander around the room for a bit. _Is this a hospital room? Why am I in the hospital?_

And then it dawned on me. I had indeed been sent to the hospital. But what happened to Makoto? Why was he sitting next to my bed without as much as a scratch? Was that… just a dream? Or had he actually been ridiculously lucky? But what about me, then? Why would I be in a hospital bed if that was the case?

“Makoto… you’re… you’re okay”, I whispered as I took the mask off. He looked up, and I saw signs of tiredness in his face. How long had I been in there? Had he always been sitting next to my bed, waiting for me to wake up?

“What do you mean I’m okay? Of course I am… _you’re_ the one who was put in here, after all”, he replied, taking my hand in his. Oh, so it _was_ just a dream. Relief washed over me and I sighed deeply, closing my eyes.

“Thank god”, I murmured.

“What do you mean? Also, are you sure you should be taking that off?” he inquired. I shook my head and was awarded with a throbbing sensation that made me grimace, remembering what had happened.

“It’s nothing… I just had a dream”, I replied. “I’m fine, Makoto.”

“You were in a coma for three days”, Makoto said, taking my hand. “You suffered a concussion, a broken rib and a lot of internal bleeding, but they managed to get it all under control. They said you’ll be able to get out in a few days or so, but you have to rest. A lot.”

I sat up in bed despite the staggering pain in my rib, and Makoto started to get up to try and help me, but I motioned for him to sit down again. “What… what happened to him?”

“Who?” Makoto asked.

“Tet— my uncle”, I said through gritted teeth, feeling nauseous just saying it, thinking back to what he’d done and how weak he’d made me feel in that helpless position I had, lying on the floor. I leaned back and closed my eyes to try and get the images out of my head.

“Oh… he tried to run away but apparently your cousin — Mathieu, was it? — managed to hold him down until the police and ambulance arrived. He’s in police custody at the moment, but that’s all I know.”

His voice cut off, and I noticed he was getting teary-eyed. “I… I thought I’d lost you”, he said, his voice getting thick. “I don’t know what I’d do if—“

“I’m here”, I said in a low voice, squeezing his hand. “I’m here now, and I’m not leaving you again.” He nodded slowly as tears fell down his cheek. I pulled him in close and softly put his head against my chest, again ignoring the pain. I didn’t care as long as I still had Makoto with me. Until just a little while ago, I thought that I’d for sure lost him, and he probably thought the same about me. Irony.

Makoto held me company for the rest of the afternoon, and around dinner time, Kyouko came over. She’d apparently gotten permission to bring food with her, because she came in through the door to my room with a bag of takeaway.

“Hey”, she said as she came in.

I looked at the bag she held, raising an eyebrow in surprise and confusion. “How’d you manage to get in here with that?”

She laughed. “I asked nicely. No, they said it was fine as long as it’s not something that could cause allergy reactions throughout the hospital, and it’s just sushi.”

Makoto raised an eyebrow. “People can be allergic to sushi, though, can't they?”

“No idea. Let’s eat, I haven’t had lunch.”

She took a chair by the door and placed it next to my bed, putting the bag on top of my knees which were still under the blanket. “How are you feeling?” she asked. I shrugged. “Not bad, though I’ve definitely been better.”

“I’m glad you’re okay. Now I’m hoping that the bastard who did this to you will be sent home to France and gets imprisoned for a while. I hope he’s not treating your cousins like this.”

I shook my head. “Very unlikely. He at least views them as family, whilst I’m the nephew he never wished for.”

Kirigiri shuddered. “Disgusting. I can’t believe people do this to people in their own family. I’m glad he’s held in custody right now.”

We had lunch whilst chatting a bit about what had been going on during the time I’d been in a coma, which wasn’t a whole lot on their end, but the exact opposite for Asahina and Hagakure who had sold Hagakure’s apartment and started moving his things into her apartment. It was still strange to think that those two had ended up together, at the same time — it was kind of fitting. Opposites attract, I suppose. Which certainly applied for me and Makoto, as well.

The two of them had to go home by eight that evening when visiting hours were over, and I was left to myself and the humming noises of the air conditioner. I fell asleep shortly after they’d left, drifting off into a series of nightmares.


	15. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya's healing process begins, and he's not happy about not getting to move around as much. He also has an unexpected conversation with a _very_ unexpected person.

_Byakuya_.

 

Friday came and I was finally discharged from the hospital. The entire Thursday was spent with nurses and doctors checking to see if I was actually in good enough shape to leave. It wasn’t like I had been in a car crash or anything — I could move perfectly fine on my own.

 _Car crash_. Thinking about it brought me back to the nightmare I had of Makoto dying following a car accident. Just thinking about all the people I had lost in a short amount of time made me all the more paranoid. I didn’t know what I’d do if I were to lose him, too. I felt bad thinking it since I’d left him after we left the Future Foundation; he had all the more reason to be scared of losing someone again.

The hospital staff had offered to get me a taxi, but I declined their offer saying I’d call my own driver instead. I’d rather have him drive me after all this, but at the same time, I wasn’t looking forward to his questions, which I knew he’d have a lot of.

“Byakuya-sama, I am so glad you’re back. How are you feeling?” Nakamura opened the door for me and I got in, clutching a bottle of prescribed painkillers in one hand. The doctor had told me to rest and not move around too much for a few days so my rib could heal properly, and I had a feeling it’d become a struggle to not be able to do anything for even just a day.

“I’m feeling fine right now, but that’s probably thanks to these”, I said, shaking the bottle.

“I’m so relieved you are able to at least walk on your own — I was so worried. Do you want me to stay with you and help you with anything?”

I shook my head, and he nodded at me in the rear-view mirror. “It’s fine; I’ll probably just lay in bed and order food to the apartment or something. Thank god it’s only for a few days.” Nakamura laughed before he pulled out of the hospital car park.

He tried to convince me one more time to let him help me get around and do things for me, but I stood my ground and turned down his offer. I hated having to depend on others when I was in good enough condition to take care of myself. And even if I’d broken both my arms and legs, I’d still probably decline any help offered and try to go about it on my own. I hated showing weaknesses and sometimes went further than necessary to prove I was capable of taking care of myself.

I was greeted by the man outside the lift who commented that he hadn’t seen me in a few days. I didn’t feel like telling him the entire story, so I just told him I’d been out of town for a few days. It didn’t help to keep the unpleasant memories out of my head, despite how hard I tried to keep myself occupied with other things like watching TV or browsing the internet. I felt like bad luck was starting to become a frequent factor in my life; first with the attempted sexual assault, to the break-in and then my uncle’s relentless assault which could’ve resulted in my death.

For a fleeting moment, running away from town again crossed my mind, and I quickly disregarded the thought. I couldn’t do that again, not when I’d finally gotten Makoto back into my life and started making friends again. I didn’t know what I had to do to make myself feel safe enough in this town again, and it bothered me to no end.

I knew I couldn’t stay cooped up in the apartment forever, either. I had no idea what was going to happen with my uncle, and if he was released, I _definitely_ couldn’t stay, at least not in the apartment.

I wouldn’t have any problem with buying another apartment, that wasn’t the issue — the thing was that he’d easily find me again if I was still living in this town. And I wasn’t sure if I’d survive the next time I’d meet him.

I realised I had yet to talk to my cousins. They’d both sent me messages several times during the time I’d been in a coma, and I couldn’t get myself to reply to them since it’d just remind me of what happened that day.

But now I decided I needed to at least tell them I was fine, so I sent off a message to the both of them telling them I was fine and that they didn’t need to worry anymore. If I were to call them, it would probably be a lot more difficult to tell them not to come over, especially with Amelie, so a text message would have to do. I couldn’t face them after all this, despite the fact that they’d been the ones who essentially saved my life. I was still too scared.

I was also afraid to continue seeing Makoto while Tetsuya was still in town in case he were to be released without repercussions. I didn’t want to cause Makoto any unnecessary problems or even harm, I’d already done that before and I didn’t want to be the reason he’s hurting once again.

So to try and deal with the issue, I called him when I knew he was off work.

“ _Hello?_ ” he said, and I immediately felt my heart sink in my chest.

“Hey”, I said. “Are you free right now? I need to talk to you.”

“ _Oh… er, yeah, I just got home. Should I come over?_ ”

I stifled a sigh and clenched my fist. “Yeah, I’ll call Nakamura to come get you. Thanks.”

Not being able to say another word, I hung up and punched my clenched fist into the wall next to me. I knew what was coming, and I didn’t like it. I was going to waste my last chance I had with him because I wanted to protect him. A sacrifice I was both willing and unwilling to make.

 

*

 

Makoto came over about twenty minutes later. I’d sent Nakamura a text message telling him to pick him up, and as always, Nakamura was more than willing to be of service. I felt my heart hammering in my chest as Makoto unlocked the door to my apartment and entered the hallway.

“Hey”, he said. “You needed to talk?”

I swallowed hard and walked up to him. I knew this was going to hurt. Not only for him, but for me, too. I hated that this was happening, that I was once again going to lose everything I’d worked so hard for – all because of the man I was supposed to call my uncle.

“I… I think we should stop seeing each other for a while”, I began.

His eyebrows furrowed and his smile vanished. “What do you mean?”

 _Please don’t make me have to do this_. “I don’t want you to get hurt, Makoto. I can’t risk it, now that I finally have you, I can’t have you get in trouble because of me.”

“Don’t say that. I’m not leaving your side, Byakuya. I don’t care what you say and I don’t care if I’m at risk of getting hurt — if it means I can stay by your side, I’ll endure it.”

I raised my voice, now getting angry. “Don’t you get it?! You could get seriously hurt! Didn’t you see what happened to me? He knows what you look like, he’s seen you with me and we both now know what he thinks of homosexual people. I’m not going to put you through that.”

Makoto took my hands with a determined look on his face. “Come live at our apartment for a while, then. He doesn’t know where I live, and if we were to go there now, he wouldn’t be able to spot us since he’s still in police custody. I don’t ever want to get separated from you again, so don’t try and push me away unless you truly mean it.”

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, furrowing my eyebrows. Of course I didn’t really mean it; I didn’t want to be away from him but I wanted him to be safe, and with me — he wasn’t. I’d almost preferred it if he’d got upset immediately and rushed out, it would’ve made things a lot easier. “Makoto, it’s not that—“

“Stop. Don’t say it. If it helps calm you down, I live with a girl who has a licensed weapon, and from what I know, she’s really good with it. So if your uncle were to somehow find our apartment and barge in, we practically have a bodyguard. I’m sure she’d love to help.”

I sighed and took him softly into my arms, surrendering to his command. “Why are you always so stubborn?”

He laughed. “Do you remember what I used to say back at Hope’s Peak? ‘My only redeeming quality is my optimism’. It’s still true. I know that if we stick together, we can get through this.”

So it had somehow been decided that I were to live in their apartment for a while, at least until I knew what was going to happen with Tetsuya. I knew that even if he were to be released, he would eventually have to return back to France since he still has family there and couldn’t possibly just abandon them to stay in Japan and terrorise me. No matter how much that man hated me, I knew that staying here was a very small possibility when it came to him.

“Thank you for letting me stay”, I said to Kirigiri as I dropped a bag onto the floor in their living room.

She shook her head. “Don’t worry about it, you’re welcome to stay for as long as you need. Although, you guys will have to wash the sheets yourselves; I’m not touching those even with gloves on.”

Seeing Makoto blush furiously over the comment made us both laugh. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all. I had to at least make sure to help them out as much as I could to repay them for doing this for me.

“Speaking of gloves”, I said as I took a pill out of my bottle, “have you decided on when to go through with the surgery?”

“I’ve spoken to a doctor and we decided to go through with it on Thursday next week”, Kirigiri said, looking down at her gloved hands.

“I’m glad to hear that. You must be relieved, huh?”

“Yeah. Thanks again, Togami. Oh, and I forgot to mention something — Aoi and I are going on that spa weekend you gave me, Makoto. So you guys will have the apartment to yourselves.” She finished with a smirk, looking at the both of us.

“Wait, you’re going _this_ weekend?” Makoto asked.

“Yes, we’re leaving early tomorrow morning. It’s going to be really nice to just relax for a bit and not have to care about anything besides the possibility of getting massaged by a hot guy.”

I snorted loudly. “Well, that’s something I never thought I’d ever hear you say. You continue to surprise me, Kirigiri.”

“Aren’t you even a little bit jealous, though? There’s probably a bunch of good-looking muscular men there.”

I shrugged, snaking an arm around Makoto’s waist. “I’ve got what I need right here.” An embarrassed squeal was heard from Makoto, and Kirigiri and I laughed again.

I’m not going to lie, it certainly was weird to see Kirigiri get ready to sleep on the couch in the living room, whilst I took her place in the bed. If I hadn’t known Makoto was about as straight as a rainbow, I would’ve probably felt jealous knowing they slept in the same bed and had done so for over a year.

Back when we lived at the Future Foundation’s headquarters, we all had our own bedrooms and things were rather strict; night time kicked in at ten every night and that meant lights out and silence in all the areas outside our bedrooms. It almost reminded me of night time at Hope’s Peak, but at least we could still move around the school area after ten; the only thing was that the cafeteria and kitchen were closed after ten o’clock.

“This feels a little weird, but it’s a little exciting, still”, Makoto whispered as we’d crawled under the duvet and turned off the lights. “I hope this is okay for you, it’s definitely smaller than what you’re used to.”

I laughed softly, pulling him closer to me. “It’s fine; it’s kind of cosy, to be honest. Thank you for being stubborn and forcing me out of that apartment. It’s probably for the best, anyway.”

Makoto nuzzled his nose into the crook of my neck and I felt a gust of air as he giggled through his nose. “I’m still surprised I managed to talk you into it. But I’m glad you’re here.”

 

*

 

When we got up the next day, Asahina had already come over, and the girls were right about to leave for their spa weekend together. Asahina’s gaze fell on me as I got out of the bedroom, closely followed by Makoto.

“Oh, Togami, you’re out of the hospital!” she exclaimed and came up to me for a hug. I grimaced a little; I had yet to take my first painkiller of the day.

“Yes, I got out yesterday morning. It’s good to be back.”

Asahina smirked. “So are the three of you living here together now, or what?”

“He’s just staying until we know more about his uncle and what’s going to happen”, Kirigiri said, stuffing a toiletry bag into her suitcase. “Are you ready to go?”

I was glad Kirigiri didn’t tell Asahina the entire story right then and there. Not that I was purposely hiding it, I just didn’t want to be around to hear it.

Asahina nodded. “Yeah. Well, you two have fun, ‘cause I’m sure we will!”

And then they were out the door. Makoto was already about to make us breakfast, and I returned to the bedroom to get a painkiller out of my bottle.

“Sunny side up or not?” I heard Makoto ask me from the kitchen. I returned to the kitchen. “Sunny side up is fine”, I said, walking over to the cupboards to get a glass. “So, do you have any plans for the day?”

Makoto shrugged whilst skilfully flipping over the eggs in the pan. I’d never really bothered to learn how to cook myself since I’d always had people make my food for me when I lived with my family. I’d since learnt the very basic things, but I was glad Makoto made the eggs that morning or I would’ve probably burnt them.

“I’m just going to spend my day with you, and since we can’t go out, there’s not much to do. I’d prefer it that way anyway since, well… have you looked outside?”

I realised I hadn’t actually looked out the window, and when I did, I knew why we couldn’t go outside. Rain was pouring down and it looked really windy as well. Typical autumn weather, I suppose. I grumbled to myself. “Typical. Well then, we’ll just have to stay inside.”

“I don’t mind. Besides, you’re not supposed to be moving around too much, remember? We could just have a film marathon or something.”

I swallowed my pill with some water and walked up behind Makoto, embracing him. He yelped out of surprise, and I couldn’t keep the smirk off my face. “We have all the time in the world, we _could_ do more than watch films, you know.”

Makoto turned off the stove and put down the spatula before turning around, and I saw my chance to place my lips upon his. He gasped as I stuck my tongue into his mouth, and was greeted by his. “Nnnh, Byakuya… we… we shouldn’t— do that. You’re hurt.”

“I'll be careful not to hurt my ribs.”

“Even if you were… I’d feel bad if even the slightest bit of effort were to make it worse.”

I took a firm grip on his hips, sighing impatiently. “God, you’re making this so hard. Rather, you’re making _me_ hard. I’ll just resort to plan B, then.”

Gladly, he was still in his sweatpants, so they were very easy to pull down. I got on my knees and let a finger slowly run down his slowly hardening cock, still trapped within the thin fabric of his underwear. He whined silently, grabbing my hair for purchase.

I teased him for a bit, just stroking up and down his length and listening to his impatient whimpers, feeling his fingers tangle in my hair. I finally pulled down his underwear and instead of my fingers used my tongue to run from the base up to the head of his cock, circling around the tip and looking up at his face. Even in this compromising situation, I managed to stay in control, and I really enjoyed it.

Deciding not to tease him anymore, I took his cock into my mouth, and Makoto’s hips automatically jerked forward.

“Ah, yes!” he wheezed, his hand taking a firmer grip on my still uncombed hair. I moved up and down slowly, letting my tongue run along his girth at the same time, earning even louder moans this time from him. He was so against the whole idea just a minute ago, and now this. I was pleased to know it didn't take much effort to get him to let out all those thoughts and feelings he stubbornly kept bottled up.

I placed both of my hands on his ass as I started moving faster with his thrusts, knowing he was near climax. Makoto’s breathing sped up and his moans became garbled noises as he finally came in a few small spurts. I swallowed and wiped some of it off the side of my mouth as I stood up, and he looked at me with an exhausted, yet slightly surprised expression.

“Wait, did you… did you _swallow_ it?”

I shrugged. “Yes. Why?” He stared at me with a baffled expression, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Let’s eat those eggs. Actually, on second thought… they’re probably cold now”, I continued, eyeing the pan behind him.

“Wait”, he said, and now his hands were resting my hips. I cocked an eyebrow in mixed surprise and amusement. “No breakfast, then?”

“I’ll go out and buy something at the minimart. Staff discount. Better stuff than those god awful eggs in the pan. And besides”, his hand slid to my cock and I winced, “you’re still hard, and I owe you one.”

Makoto ended up sucking me off and we threw the eggs into the bin before he headed out the door to get us breakfast. Again.

 

*

 

It had been a while since Makoto and I actually got to spend a decent amount of time together. This weekend was really great, and despite the lack of activity, it was nice to just be around him, talk to him and get to know him even better than I knew him before.

During the time we spent together, I also realised how much I’d changed as well, how I’d actually started leaving my bad habits and behaviour behind. It felt strange, but I knew it was probably for the better anyway. Makoto really _did_ change me as a person, and I was glad for that.

To think I’d gone from just being interested in having Makoto as a “pet” or just as a way to waste time, to wanting to be around him as much as I could and never lose him… it certainly was a big change for me. Maybe I was finally growing up? At nineteen years of age, maybe it was about time I did so. We’d be turning twenty soon, Makoto’s birthday was in February so he was first, and it felt odd knowing we’d soon be adults.

Sunday afternoon was spent being lazy on the couch. I was already feeling a little better, it seemed my rib was healing well, so I was able to at least let Makoto lean his head against my chest. I let my fingers run through his hair while I half paid attention to the TV.

“Hey, I’ve been thinking”, Makoto began.

I looked down and met his gaze. “Hmm?”

“I think I might want to start studying again soon. I mean, I’m turning twenty in a few months and I’m still stuck working at a minimart. It’s not exactly what I see myself doing for the rest of my life, if you know what I mean.”

I exhaled slowly before answering, thinking about what he’d just said. I’d been thinking the same thing, although I wasn’t sure I actually wanted to study business like I’d practically been raised thinking I “had” to do, just because it ran in my family. I just had to decide whether I found it interesting enough to study and eventually build a proper career out of.

“I’ve been thinking about that, too. The thing is, we still have to retake some of our classes since we ‘graduated’ prematurely and don’t have full grades.”

Makoto sighed. “Yeah, I know. That’s the only thing I really don’t look forward to, but the longer I postpone it, the longer it’ll take me to finish and get a degree.”

“I suppose you’re right about that one. Well, should we talk to the others first and see what they want to do?”

“I guess. I’m not looking forward to having to take loans, though”, Makoto laughed.

I shook my head. “I’ll cover it for you. It’s not like I’m getting any good use out of my money anyway.”

He fervently shook his head, which I’d been expecting. “No, I can’t let you do that. It’s a lot of money, three and a half million yen just for studying during three years. Even if you say you can easily afford it — and I don’t doubt you can — I wouldn’t be able to live with the fact that I’d let you pay such a hefty amount of money just to put me through school.”

“Don’t worry about money, Makoto. Seriously, it’s no big deal. I could pay for all of us to study at university for three years and I would hardly even notice the amount of money drop in my bank account.”

Not that I would actually _do_ that, it’d be very strange and probably creepy of me to pay for us five to study at university. That is, if we all even got in where we wanted. Hagakure was never the brightest bulb in the box, so he probably wouldn’t even make it past the entry exam. Besides, we still didn’t know what the others wanted to do.

Makoto crawled up and rested his head under my chin instead. “I still couldn’t let you do that, you know. Even if you say that it’s fine, I would never be able to live with that on my conscience. I’m thankful for the offer, though.”

I tilted his head up with my finger and planted a kiss on his lips. “You’re hopelessly stubborn, and I admire you for it even though I wish you’d give in just once. Well, my offer still stands, so if you ever change your mind, I’m here.”

He nodded slowly, and I knew that he wasn’t even going to consider letting me pay for his tuition. In a way, I understood him; I’d be the same way if I was in his shoes.

The girls returned around eight that evening, talking loudly and excitedly as they came in through the door.

“Hey, lovebirds”, Kirigiri said as she walked in, closely followed by Asahina. They joined us on the couch, having dropped their bags on the floor.

“Hey”, Makoto replied. “How was your weekend?”

“It was great, I’ve never been so relaxed in my entire life”, Asahina said with a dreamy voice, resting her chin in her hands.

Kirigiri chuckled. “It was indeed very relaxing. Thanks again for the gift, Makoto, I really enjoyed this weekend.”

Makoto grinned. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“Now you’ve set the bar high for the rest of us. And you’re next when it comes to birthdays”, I said, and Makoto’s grin faded. “Oh…” he said, and Asahina laughed, ruffling with his hair.

“I’m going to take the car and drive Aoi back home”, Kirigiri said and turned to Makoto.

“Sure, do that. See you tomorrow, Aoi!”

“Yep, see you tomorrow. And I’ll probably see you soon, too, Togami”, Asahina said as she smiled and picked up her bag again. The girls disappeared again and left the apartment silent.

Makoto groaned silently. “I really hope you guys aren’t going to try and get me something crazy expensive for my birthday”, he said.

“Oh, I wouldn’t expect anything less if I were you — you’re turning 20 and you’ll be legal, after all”, I said in a teasing tone that made him hide his face against my chest, and I smiled.

“I hate you”, he mumbled into the fabric of my shirt.

“I know you don’t”, I replied, and he groaned again.

 

*

 

Makoto and I got out of bed just as Kirigiri was about to leave for work. It was just after seven, and Makoto’s shift started at eight. I was still supposed to be at home doing minimal physical activity, so Makoto told me not to even go outside.

I hated being in this handicapped position; it was just a broken rib and I could move around just fine. Even so, I wasn’t allowed to even take a walk, which frustrated me. I didn’t like sitting around doing nothing, it made me feel agitated and completely useless. It didn’t help that I was inside a very small apartment; had it been my own, I could’ve at least walked around for a bit to get rid of my restlessness.

The temptation to go back home was really strong, but I knew I couldn’t do that yet. I still hadn’t heard anything from the police, and it worried me slightly, despite the fact that it’d only been five days since it happened. I kept going back and forth between wanting to call the local police station and ask what was going on, and just leaving it so they could call me when something came up.

Somehow, I managed to waste that entire day and was surprised when Makoto came in through the door as I realised it was already after three in the afternoon. “Welcome back”, I said as he walked in. “Good day at work?”

“Busy, that’s what it was. I hate Mondays and Fridays at the minimart”, Makoto said, finishing with a slow exhale.

I laughed. Makoto sat down on the couch next to me and sighed heavily, leaning back and closing his eyes. “So how was your day?” he asked.

“Incredibly dull", I snorted. "I miss being able to walk around my own apartment, at least. This one is… cosy, sure, but it’s really small. Especially if you’re three in here.”

“Then you should’ve been here when Aoi and Yasuhiro stayed the night. _That_ was interesting. Until they slept in our living room, we’d never had anyone sleep over. So when we doubled the amount of people in here, it felt incredibly cramped”, Makoto said and smiled.

“If you lived at my place, you’d forget that the word ‘cramped’ ever existed”, I said and only realised what I’d just said when Makoto looked up at me. “Would you want me to live at your place?” he asked.

I hadn’t really thought about it, to be honest. We’d been dating for a little while now, and I didn’t really have any plans on breaking up with him in the near future… but I’d just taken our situation for granted. Makoto occasionally staying the night at my place, hell — even him having a key to my apartment felt natural, even though he didn’t really _live_ there.

I placed his head on my shoulder and exhaled slowly. “I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to it, but I know you couldn’t just move out of here and leave Kirigiri behind, so I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t.”

He sighed. “I feel awful. I’d let you down if I don’t move in, but if I did — I’d probably let Kyouko down. I know she wouldn’t admit to it, but I know she’d feel lonely after all this time we’ve lived together. I’ll have to think about it.”

I nodded. “Take your time.”

 

*

 

The next day, I already felt significantly better. The doctor had told me to come back in on Wednesday for a check-up, which was the day after — and I felt a lot better already. I needed the painkillers a lot less, and it made me feel relieved as I hated relying on them.

As I’d done the day before, I spent my day being lazy around the apartment. Nakamura had been brave (or stupid?) enough to drive by my apartment and get some books for me so I at least had something to do. He told me it was fine since Tetsuya was still in custody — but that didn’t mean there weren’t others on the lookout for me on his orders.

In the midst of reading whilst listening to some music, my phone started buzzing on top of the coffee table. I sighed as I put the book down and answered the call.

“Yes?” I said, irritated.

“ _Hey, Togami. Are you free? I know you’re not supposed to move around and stuff, so can I come over?_ ”

It was Asahina, and I was very surprised to hear her voice on the other end. I looked at the clock; it was right about lunch time, so she was probably on lunch break right now.

“Why?” I inquired, confused as to why she would want to see me and even go all the way over here to do so.

“ _I need to talk to you about something… I’ve been meaning to for a few days, but I’ve never found the right moment. So?_ ”

“Are you sure you’d want to leave Makoto to have lunch alone?” I said, trying to hide the amusement in my voice. She clicked her tongue. “ _He’s having lunch with the manager, I said I had some stuff to take care of. I’m coming over whether you like it or not — you’ll thank me later. I’m bringing you lunch, too, since I doubt you know how to cook for yourself._ ”

And she hung up. I honestly had no idea what to expect, what could possibly be so important to tell me that she’d waited a few days for the right moment to pop up. We’d never been close, well — not that I was ever close with any of my classmates anyway. I guess it didn’t matter anymore since we were apparently getting closer now.

About five minutes later, the doorbell rang and I made my way out into the hallway to open for the very impatient Asahina who wouldn’t take her finger off the button until I opened the door. She rolled her eyes as I did. “Finally”, she said and walked in.

Asahina took her shoes off, walked in and sat down on the couch, placing a white plastic bag by her feet. It felt incredibly awkward for it to just be me and her, but she didn’t seem bothered by it at all as she looked completely comfortable just moving around and being herself.

“Togami, what are you doing? Sit.”

I felt dumb, having stood up like an imbecile and not even moving a centimetre. I sat down on the couch next to her and sighed. “So, what was so important that you needed to tell me in secret?”

All of a sudden, Asahina’s face turned dead serious. She put her hands together in her lap and turned to look straight at me. I felt odd, like I’d done something wrong or something terrible had happened. But what? If Makoto wasn’t okay, then she would’ve just lied to me when she said he was going to have lunch with their manager. All of a sudden, I got nervous, and swallowed hard.

“I got to talk to Kyouko a lot this weekend, as you might guess. And, well… she told me some things that I know she doesn’t want anyone to find out about, but I know I have to tell you this since it kind of involves you now.”

What was she _talking_ about? “I’m sorry, I’m not following. What do you mean?”

“Kyouko has… well, she really likes Makoto. Like, _really_ likes him.”


	16. Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto's and Kyouko's friendship takes an unexpected turn.

“I have some stuff to do, so I’ll leave you two alone for lunch today.” Aoi smiled apologetically at me as we closed up shop for lunch.

I shrugged. “That’s fine with me. See you after lunch.”

She waved as she walked out, and the manager came up to me. “All ready?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

We sat in the back with our lunches; he usually bought something from the minimart instead of bringing his own food. In a way, I thought it was cool that he actually bought stuff rather than just take it ‘since he owned the store’, but in a way — I somehow felt like he had the right to do so.

Our manager, Yasuke Morinaga, was a middle-aged man who didn’t act his age at all, rather a lot younger. He’d barely even looked at our applications when Aoi and I sent them in wanting to work at the minimart — and we still worked here nearly a year later. He said that we looked trustworthy, and apparently we were, since he let us take care of the minimart most all of the time when he was off doing other work.

Apparently the minimart wasn’t doing as good as we thought, and it had been struggling for a while — hence him working two jobs. I guess it was a given; we had quite a few stores around the area, so the competition was tough. I just hoped we wouldn’t have to close down anytime soon.

Aoi came back just as we finished and were about to return to work.

“Welcome back”, I greeted her as she came in and grabbed an apron from the hanger.

“Thanks! Hope you didn’t miss me too much during lunch”, she said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes. “You think too highly of yourself”, I said, and she laughed.

 

*

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then”, Aoi said as we reached the street where we’d part ways.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow”, I replied and was just about to walk away when she grabbed my arms and pulled me in for a hug.

I blinked a few times in confusion. “What was that for?” She smiled a little. “Nothing in particular.”

I walked back home with my hands in my pockets, watching leaves fall from the trees as I walked by. I sighed. Winter was approaching at a scary speed; there were barely any leaves left on the trees now — and that meant that the snow was sure to come soon.

“I’m home”, I said as I walked in through the door. Byakuya waved from the couch. “Welcome back.”

In regular fashion, I dropped down on the couch with a sigh right next to him and kissed him on the cheek. “How was your day at home?” I asked with a smirk; I knew how much he hated being at home doing nothing. But his response was unexpected, to say the least.

“It was… interesting”, he said, putting an arm around me.

“How’s so?”

“Well… your colleague dropped by. First of all, she brought me lunch. Now _that’s_ something I thought I wouldn’t live to see. Second, she told me something I probably should’ve been surprised by, but… I realised I was right all along.”

I furrowed my eyebrows slightly. “Stop talking in riddles, what are you insinuating?”

Byakuya put a finger under my chin and brought my face really close. I felt my heartbeat speed up and I almost felt dizzy, staring into his intensely blue eyes. “First, I have a question for you”, he purred, and I had trouble breathing normally with my heartbeat drumming loudly in my ears.

“Y-yeah?” I stuttered.

“You’re… sure you’re absolutely gay, right?”

The question caught me completely off guard, and I burst out laughing as a result. Byakuya quirked an eyebrow at me and I breathed slowly to calm down.

“What? Of course I’m sure. Come on, I’ve lived with a girl for a year, I’ve seen— well, you know what I mean. And I’ve never felt attracted to her that way. And it’s not just her, it’s Aoi, too. I don’t feel attraction towards women. Why do you ask?”

Byakuya sighed in what sounded like relief, but he didn’t look less serious. “I don’t want you to freak out about this, and for god’s sake — don’t do anything stupid.” I was even more confused now, and I think he could tell. When he was just about to start talking, his phone rang.

“Sorry”, he muttered, looking at the display. “It’s a hidden number… I don’t feel like answering.”

“Wait”, I said, “it could be the police. They never call with a number anyway.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You’re right. Okay then.”

He answered the call, and I only half paid attention as I was still nervous about what he was going to tell me. This wasn’t the first time he’d done this, and ironically — not the second, either.

It felt like I had to get used to these serious talks, although this time it seemed to be about my sexuality, strangely enough. Was he doubting me? What could he possibly want to tell me after having reassured himself that I wasn’t bi- or heterosexual? This was incredibly strange and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“It was indeed the police”, Byakuya said after having hung up and put his phone on the table again. “They’re extraditing him to France where he’ll apparently be sent to prison. They have already put him on a plane, so he’s technically not in Japan anymore.”

I hugged Byakuya ever so lightly, not knowing how fragile he still was around the rib area. “I’m so relieved. He won’t be able to return here anytime soon, right?”

Byakuya shook his head. “No, not for five years at least. Maybe he’ll forget about me during that time… it might be too much to ask for, but I can only hope. Ah, sorry — we got completely off topic now, didn’t we?”

I smiled. “For a good reason, right?”

He nodded and took a few seconds to prepare before he continued speaking. “Now, then. Kirigiri’s in love with you, and she has been for a while. Asahina probably doesn’t want me to tell you this, but I can’t keep it from you since you live with her, and you deserve to know.”

_What?_

I suddenly felt like I got vertigo. The world was spinning around me and I had to hold on to the corner of the couch despite sitting down. How had I not noticed this during the time we’d lived together, spent time together? How could I have been so _blind_?

“Are… are you sure?” I asked, or rather, whispered.

Byakuya nodded. “Asahina told me that Kirigiri confessed to it during their weekend together. Initially, she told me that she’d been told not to tell anyone, but she felt I had to know… and I felt like _you_ had to know. So much for a secret, huh”, he snorted.

I was at a loss for words. This… really changed things. I didn’t know what to do now. I felt like running away with Byakuya and living at his apartment for a while, turning off my cell phone, not going into work because I’d have to face Aoi, who would undoubtedly either find out that I knew — since I was like an open book — or she’d tell me about it, and I just wanted to forget I ever heard about this.

I buried my face in my hands, and Byakuya wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. “I’m sorry. I know you’ve been really close for a while — hell, I thought you two were _dating_ when I first met you at Tully’s a few months ago.”

I looked up. “What? You did?”

“Yes. And I was incredibly jealous since I wanted you all for myself, and I thought she beat me to it. But then I found out you weren’t actually a couple, so that helped ease my mind, I suppose.”

I exhaled slowly, looking down at my hands. “What do I do now? I can’t act normally around her now that I know all of this.”

Byakuya shook his head. “You’ll have to try your best. You can’t just act coldly towards her without her knowing why — would you actually want to confront her and tell her you know?”

I clenched my fists so hard I felt my fingernails dig into my palms, and it stung a bit. I knew very well I couldn’t do that; I had to try and act normal and wait for her to tell me. But what if she chose not to do it just so it wouldn’t ruin our friendship? Would I still have to go on acting like I knew nothing?

“What if she doesn’t tell me?” I thought out loud, and regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth.

“She will, trust me. If not today, then any day now. I’m sure it’s tough on her, so I wouldn’t blame her for dragging it on. Asahina didn’t say anything specific, but from what I can tell, she’s building up the courage to talk to you about it. Just don’t pressure her, act normally and it’ll be fine. If it comes to the worst, you can always stay with me for a while at my apartment, you know that, right?”

 

*

 

Byakuya and I cuddled on the couch for a while, listening to music and just talking. It was incredibly relaxing after what we’d just talked about, and just lying there, letting him run his fingers through my hair, was soothing and helped clear my mind.

“Hey, Byakuya?” I said after a few minutes of silence apart from one of Debussy’s pieces playing in the background.

He tilted his head down and met my gaze. “Hmm?”

“Thanks. Not just for telling me… that… but also for just being here. I’m glad you’re here.”

He smiled a little. “I’m glad I could help. Thank you, too, for being here for me during this time. If it weren’t for you, I’d probably be—“

“Stop. Don’t say it”, I said, knowing what word he was going to say next. “I’m always going to be here for you.”

He tightened his embrace around my waist, sighing. “I know. Likewise, Makoto.”

Our little moment was interrupted by the sound of a key turning in the lock, and my heart sank in my chest. Byakuya seemed to notice I tensed up since he kissed me on the top of my head and whispered: “It’ll be fine, stop freaking out.”

We got up from the couch as Kyouko walked in. “Hey”, she said.

“Hi”, I replied, trying to sound as casual as I could manage. “Good day at work?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, a bit slow, though. Hey, Togami, are you leaving?”

I turned my gaze to Byakuya who was gathering his stuff from around the apartment, and I frowned a little. _Don’t leave me now_.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m going to meet up with Nakamura for dinner as thanks for all of this. And to the two of you, thank you again, I really mean it.”

Kyouko raised her eyebrows. “Oh no, it was my—  _our_ pleasure. Are you sure, though? I mean, what about your uncle?”

“He’s on his way to France to be imprisoned there”, Byakuya replied simply. “The police called earlier and told me so. He’s not in Japan anymore. I don’t know about my cousins, though… I should probably call them. Well, I’ll be on my way, then. I’ll see you two soon.”

And he was out. I suddenly felt incredibly uneasy and started scraping my foot against the floor awkwardly. _I have to act normally, I can’t be this obvious_ , I thought to myself, and quickly snapped out of it. “Let’s go make dinner”, I said, and Kyouko nodded. “Good idea.”

I somehow managed to have a normal conversation with her during dinner despite the storm of thoughts inside my head, and the awful feeling I had in my stomach. I glanced discreetly at her every now and then, and I was glad she didn’t notice. She acted just like she usually did, and it made me think that maybe it wasn’t actually true. But would she really tell Aoi a lie like that, and if so — why would she?

“Makoto?”

I blinked twice, realising I’d been spacing out. “Oh, sorry. Yeah?”

She smiled a little. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking. I’m a little tired, I suppose”, I lied and cursed to myself. Was this how we were supposed to be from now on? Did we have to put up a front, act like nothing was different? She was very, _very_ sharp, so I assumed she’d eventually realise I knew how she felt about me.

Kyouko sighed and took our empty plates to the sink. “I needed to talk to you about something, actually”, she said with her back turned against me. I knew it. It came sooner than I’d wanted, but I had a feeling it’d happen today. Everything that had happened that day just screamed it out loud.

“Oh, really?” I said, fighting back the urge to run out of the apartment wearing only socks. She motioned for me to follow her to the living room, and I did. We sat down on the couch instead, and I realised how I’d suddenly become nervous, my heart beating rapidly. Kyouko sat down, her lips forming a straight line and her face went serious. I swallowed hard.

“Makoto, I… I love you. Not just as a friend, and I know that it doesn’t matter because you’re gay and taken.”

She laughed, but the sadness in her eyes didn’t escape me. I clenched my fists again, suppressing a scream of agony that was dangerously close to escaping my mouth.

“Honestly, I’m jealous, because Togami really got the best guy in the world, and I hope he treasures you.”

I realised she was crying, and it made my own eyes sting. I exhaled shakily through my nose and tried to compose a sentence in my head. What was I going to say? What could I possibly say to that, what could make things better?

“I’m… I’m sorry, Kyouko. I’m sorry I can’t reciprocate your feelings. I love you, I really do, and I wouldn’t trade you for anything or anyone else in the world.”

She frowned. “Why are you apologising for something you don’t have any control over? I know it’s impossible for us. It’s fine, don’t… apologise.”

I gritted my teeth, tasting the salt from my tears that ran down my cheeks. “I’m sorry because of that reason; I can’t do anything about it and it’ll probably become more and more difficult as time goes by because of this. It’s not your fault, either — it’s nothing we can’t do anything about and it pisses me off.”

“So what do you suggest we do? I can’t pretend like it’s nothing. I’ve done so for a few months now and it’s been really difficult, but now that you know… well, obviously it’s going to be even more difficult to pretend like nothing’s changed.”

“Maybe we need some time apart.”

The words that came out of my mouth surprised me and sounded foreign, like someone else had spoken them for me. I regretted them instantly, and I opened my mouth to say something, but the words didn’t come out. Kyouko wiped the tears off her face with the back of her hand, taking on that stoic expression she used to have all the time back at Hope’s Peak. “Maybe you’re right.”

She got up from the couch and walked into the bedroom. The silence that fell after we’d stopped talking was almost deafening, I desperately wanted to say something but didn’t know what. It was already too late, the damage was done and I couldn’t say anything that would magically fix things instantly.

I was in a paralysed state, just staring out in front of me, unable to move even the muscles in my face as I listened to the faint ruffling in the bedroom. Was she packing? It felt as if my heart crumpled up and died inside me as she came out again with a bag and walked into the bathroom without saying a word.

 _Say something, anything. Just open your goddamn mouth before it’s too late_.

I got up and walked towards the bathroom. Kyouko was stuffing her toiletry bag with pretty much everything she had in our shared medicine cabinet. I saw her reflection in the mirror as I stood behind her; her eyes were red and swollen. I walked up behind her and put my arms around her.

“Makoto, don’t. Stop, you’re… you’re not making things easier.”

“I know, and I’m sorry for being selfish right now. I’m scared of losing you, I don’t know what to do.”

She suddenly raised her voice. “You don’t think _I_ feel like being selfish?! You don’t think I’ve wanted to be selfish for a while now and indulge in my dumb, impossible desires?”

Kyouko dropped her bag onto the floor, wriggled out of my embrace and turned around only to grab the front of my shirt and kiss me. A surprised gasp escaped me as she pushed me backwards, out of the bathroom and towards the living room. I tried to get out of it, but she was determined, her hand firmly behind my back to prevent me from backing out.

I suddenly fell down onto the couch with Kyouko on top of me, her hair trailing down onto my chest as she kept kissing me despite the tears that fell as she did so. I stiffened completely, not knowing what to do. If I pushed her away, I’d only make things worse. But if I let her stay, wouldn’t that do the same?

She suddenly stopped kissing me and instead just looked straight into my eyes. It hurt to see her this way, so I closed my eyes and turned my head to the side, feeling a tear run down the side of my face as I did so. Kyouko and got up, again wiping away the tears from her face.

“I was selfish now, see what happened.”

And then she took her things and left the apartment, slamming the door shut behind her.

 

*

 

I don’t know for how long I’d been lying on that couch, but it felt like an eternity. It was dark outside and was probably getting late. Even so, I had to call Byakuya. I didn’t want to be alone right now.

“ _Yes?_ ” he answered after a few dial tones had passed. I was so relieved to hear his voice, even though I’d been with him until just a few hours ago.

“Byakuya, can you… can you come over, stay the night with me? I don’t want to be alone. I need you. I’m sorry… I know you only just left and all.”

He went silent for a second or two. “ _I’ll be there as soon as I can._ ”

We hung up and I grabbed the nearest cushion, brought it to my face, and screamed.

It’s ironic how we’d manage to live without any kind of argument for well over a year. We got along so well it was almost scary; we rarely fought or argued over anything and managed to agree on most things incredibly easily. It was refreshing, after all we’d been through at Hope’s Peak, this new lifestyle was like a fresh breath of air, and I couldn’t have been happier. Or so I thought.

The doorbell ringing snapped me out of whatever daydream I was having, and I almost ran towards the door. I practically threw myself into his arms the second I saw him, and he stood with me like that for a few minutes, not saying a word. We got inside after that, and brushed our teeth in silence. My body was completely drained of energy and all I wanted to do was sleep. Preferably for a few days, but even I knew that wasn’t possible, no matter how tempting it was.

As we’d gotten under the cold duvet in bed, Byakuya pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes, listening to his heartbeats. Breathing became more and more difficult as I had continued to hold in my emotions since Kyouko had left, and I suddenly started sobbing.

“Makoto”, Byakuya murmured into my ear. “What happened?”

Not being able to form words, Byakuya embraced me tighter, sighed and kissed me on the forehead. I was still a complete fucking mess; I didn’t know what to do. Was there really anything I  _could_  do now that her feelings were out in the open?

Things couldn’t really go back to the way they were; everything was changed now, no matter how much we’d want to deny it or try and forget about it. The only thing I could think about now was not wanting to lose her after all this time, after all we’d been through. The possibility of not seeing her ever again scared the life out of me and I desperately hoped it wouldn’t come to that point.

“I… she told me about… well,  _it_. It’s ironic, huh? You told me today, and she decided to do it, too. Maybe she sensed that I had found out… it wouldn’t surprise me.”

Byakuya shrugged lightly. “Maybe, but I don’t think so. Then what happened?”

I sighed. “I started apologising for some stupid fucking reason. I apologised for not being able to feel the same way, and obviously it ticked her off. I understand her, though — I have no idea why I said that. Old habit, probably.”

I felt my voice starting to waver again, so I shut up and swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. Byakuya stroked my hair, patiently waiting for me to continue.

“That wasn’t even the worst part, though. I was the one who suggested that maybe we needed some time apart, and she agreed.”

“But you probably  _do_  need time apart from each other, so you did the right thing”, he said.

“Maybe so, but I just feel so bad telling her that after what she said, like she really needed more rejection than she’d already gotten.”

I paused and bit my lip, trying to figure out a good way to phrase the next part, but I realised that there really wasn’t a good way to put it, so I just continued. I told Byakuya about how I had gone after Kyouko when she was packing and hugged her from behind, which had caused the argument that also led to her pinning me down on the couch and kissing me.

Byakuya sighed when I finished telling him about what happened, and I closed my eyes, feeling a tear run down my cheek as I did so. “You’re such a lovable idiot, Makoto. Yeah, I agree — that was incredibly stupid of you and you should’ve just let her go. But what’s done is done, and now all you can do is to just let her be for a while, I suppose. It was probably inevitable anyway, all of this.”

I nodded slowly and put my forehead in the crook of his neck. “I’m so glad you’re here”, I whispered. Byakuya only hummed in response, and then we fell asleep.

 

*

 

“All right, let’s go out with a bang!” the little devilish bear cackled. “It’s punishment time!”

I broke out in a cold sweat as he said so, realising that our time was up. “Wait”, I pleaded in a desperate voice, “we… we haven’t reached a conclusion!”

“Oh, but you have, haven’t you? You said so yourself, Naegi-kun. You revealed Kirigiri-san’s secret, the secret she stole from me to try and get you bastards out of here. Good job! Now she’ll be executed and thus you won’t have her  _excellent_  detective skills to help you solve the mysteries of Hope’s Peak! Oh, this is so exciting.”

 _This can’t be happening_ , I thought, scanning the court room. Yasuhiro looked like he’d given up, like he was ready for it all to be over. So did Aoi, and it was scary to see. I cautiously looked at Kyouko, whose stoic expression didn’t fail her even in this situation. She didn’t meet my gaze, and it made my heart sink in my chest.

Monokuma jumped down from his seat. A chain shot out seemingly from nowhere, a fetter clasping around Kyouko’s neck while she just stood there, completely still, not moving a muscle in her body. Without a word, she followed Monokuma out of the court room, leaving the rest of us perplexed behind our stands.

Soon enough, the TV screens above our heads flickered and showed the execution room. It looked the exact same way it had done when I’d been sent off to be executed, which sent chills down my spine as I knew what was coming. What was even more terrifying was the fact that Alter Ego wasn’t there anymore, and thus Kyouko had little to no chance of escaping death now. Monokuma had made mistakes before, but he’d probably been extra careful this time around to make sure nothing would stand in his way of eliminating our last glimmer of hope.

Kyouko appeared on the screen, strapped to a chair behind a desk, her hands calmly resting on the table. How could she still be calm?! I wanted to scream, but nothing but faint wheezes came out of my mouth as I stared wide-eyed at the screen on the wall in front of me. I had watched four of my classmates get executed, I’d seen the corpses of equally as many. But I never thought it’d be her. We’d gotten so close in just the past few weeks, I was in no way ready to lose her yet.  _Couldn’t it have been me instead?!_

The trash compactor rose slowly and hit the conveyor belt with a loud thud, continuously repeating the same pattern as Kyouko’s desk got closer and closer. I noticed Aoi covering her face with her hands, and I heard her muffled sobbing. This was too cruel… she hadn’t even committed the crime! It was all a set-up!

For some reason, I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen. I saw Kyouko’s eyes suddenly flicker towards the screen just as the trash compactor rose above her head, and I saw pure fear in her eyes just before—

I woke up with a jolt, drenched in sweat and heavily panting with a heart beating like it was trying to jump out of my chest. Byakuya woke up and sat himself up like I had done with that startled wake-up.

“Makoto… are you okay?”

The only sounds that came out of my mouth were sobs, and suddenly, I was crying. Byakuya took me into his arms, just sitting like that without saying anything else. He probably figured out I had a bad dream again. I felt bad for waking him up like that; this wasn’t the first time, and probably not the last time, either.

I calmed down after a few minutes, though, and we went right back to sleep. The next morning, I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock, but I had no desire whatsoever to get up and go to work. I covered my head with my pillow, and felt Byakuya poke me in the side lightly.

“Are you going into work today?” he asked. I shook my head despite still being under the pillow, but he seemed to understand anyway. “I’m borrowing your phone to call Asahina, okay?”

“Mmm”, I replied, still not moving. I heard Byakuya ruffle around a bit, and then he started talking. It sounded like he’d woken Aoi up, which didn’t surprise me — she liked to sleep in a little too much, and it sometimes caused her to be late.

Byakuya hung up after about a minute and brought an arm around me. “I told her you were sick and were going to stay at home for today at least, and that I didn’t know if you’d be in tomorrow. Which I don’t, and you probably don’t, either.”

“I  _do_  know”, I said, gritting my teeth. “I don’t want to go to work because I know she’ll see right through me and berate me over it. I deserve it, sure — but I’m not ready for her to yell at me just yet.”

He sighed. “No, you don’t deserve it. I’ve already told you that you shouldn’t have done what you did, but there’s nothing you can do about that now. It’s in the past, let it go and just be patient; Kirigiri will be back, I know she will.”

Hearing him say her name made my stomach twist and turn, and I groaned, feeling the pain gnaw on my insides. I had screwed up big time, and couldn’t do anything but sitting still and doing nothing, hoping that things could get better.

After having silent for a while, Byakuya spoke. “Let’s go to my apartment instead, I think that’ll be better for you. Pack up a few things, you can stay for as long as you want. I just don’t want you to have to live here with the memories while everything’s still… well, the way they are right now. What do you say?”

There really wasn’t much consideration to be done — I’d take whatever chance I got to try and escape this apartment and all of these horrible memories that were already forming, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. I nodded, not being able to say anything, and got out of bed to start packing.

 

*

 

We had a quick breakfast before Nakamura came to pick us up and I barely managed to sputter out a “hello” to him as he opened the door to the limousine for us.

Nakamura and Byakuya talked during the entire car ride, but I didn’t pay any attention to what they were saying. I stared out the window, watching the scenery of the town I knew far too well pass by before my eyes.

What if I were to leave this town and move somewhere else? The thought had crossed my mind fleetingly before, but this time I was almost tempted, but knew I couldn’t just abandon everything I had here to escape my problems and all of the bad memories I’d accumulated in this town I was brought up in, or I would never be able to come back if leaving on a sour note.

The limousine stopped and I was brought back to reality as Nakamura opened the door for us. Byakuya stepped out before me and I followed shortly after, closing the door behind me. Nakamura bowed slightly before bidding us farewell and getting back into the driver’s seat while we walked inside the apartment building. We got inside and I went into the bedroom where I put down my bag. Since I already had a toothbrush and some other hygienic items at Byakuya’s apartment, I didn’t bring any with me and thus didn’t need to really unpack anything when we came in.

I sat down on the bed and was immediately overwhelmed by an intense feeling of sadness. I had possibly lost my best friend because I decided to be selfish and trample all over her feelings towards myself. The immense self-hatred I felt was almost alarming and I tried shutting out all of those dark thoughts I once used to have after our time at the Future Foundation.

Byakuya entered the bedroom and quickly sat down by my side, his face showing concern. He pulled me into his arms and just stroked my hair without saying anything. I loved how understanding he was and how he didn’t ask any questions; he just let me sit there in my own thoughts. I knew I could talk to him as he’d told me so many times before, but what I wanted to say was just things I’d already told him.

“Did… did Aoi say anything before when you talked to her on the phone?” I asked him after a while.

He shrugged lightly. “Not really. I’m not sure she could read between the lines, but if she did, she didn’t comment on it or anything. I don’t think you have anything to worry about when it comes to her, Makoto. She’s good friends with the both of you, but I think she’s learnt her lesson when it comes to being biased.”

I knew he was referring to how she had been at Hope’s Peak when she nearly sent us all to our deaths because she was angry we’d suspected Sakura Oogami of wanting to kill us just because she was the mastermind’s mole. When Sakura committed suicide, Aoi had accused nearly all of us for her death despite Aoi knowing the truth behind it all from the beginning, their friendship clouding her judgment and thus wanting to blame everyone for Sakura’s sacrifice and have us suffer for it.

I had been the first to forgive her, being the naïve person I used to be back then, but even now I don’t regret doing so. I knew how much she regretted having tried to get us all executed and that was enough for me. There was no use in brooding over it since we all got out alive anyway.

“Maybe you’re right. At least I hope you are”, I replied.

Byakuya softly kissed the top of my head. “Just don’t beat yourself up over this, okay? It was inevitable, and I think you did the right thing in suggesting you two needed some time apart. Because if you would’ve just tried to ignore it, it would’ve been far, far more difficult to bounce back.”

We spent most of the day just lying in bed. Byakuya went out around lunch time to get us something to eat, but other than that, I couldn’t really bring myself to do anything else. I felt guilty, like a shackle had been placed around my foot and I wasn’t allowed to do anything.

All I wanted was to apologise and for everything to revert back to normal — but like Byakuya had said, that probably wasn’t going to happen. I could try and apologise, sure, but it’d only make things worse. I needed to give her time, and as much as I wanted to give it to her, it was difficult to stay away from her as well.

Before bed, I decided to take a bath and try to relax myself enough so I could fall asleep. Preferably without nightmares, but knowing my luck, it was probably bound to happen tonight as well.

As I got out of the bath tub after probably half an hour, I found Byakuya on the sofa, reading a book, still wearing his robe from when he’d showered earlier. He noticed me coming out of the bathroom, and he took his eyes off the book, looking at me. “Ready for bed?” he asked.

“Yeah”, I replied. He got up from the couch, put a bookmark in the book and placed it on the coffee table before we both walked into the bedroom together. I fell asleep not long after we’d gotten into bed. The thought of not having to go into work tomorrow because I was supposed to be ‘sick’ made it easier to fall asleep, not having to worry about anything, especially Aoi and the risk of being yelled at by her. I wondered if she knew where Kyouko was, but if she did, she probably wouldn’t tell me anyway.


	17. Hopelessness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto's upset, and all he wants is to just sleep for a few weeks. Unfortunately, Aoi isn't having anything of it.

The next morning, I woke up before Byakuya, much to my own surprise. Instead of getting up and making breakfast, I stayed in bed and just watched my boyfriend sleep, softly stroking his hair and appreciating him being there for me still, despite everything that had happened. I’d been such an ass to him before we started dating when I’d put him on hold, trying to decide whether I should give him a chance or not.

I thought about how much he’d changed in just a few months; how he’d gone from his old personality of being rude, cold and constantly thinking he was superior to everyone else — to being an incredibly generous, understanding and kind person. It was a weird but very welcome change, though.

Suddenly, my phone started vibrating violently on the nightstand next to my side of the bed, and I realised it was ringing… it was Aoi. I was a bit hesitant to answer, but knew she wouldn’t stop calling unless I actually picked it up. Sighing, I got out of bed and walked out of the bedroom before answering.

“Yes?” I said.

“ _Hey, Makoto._ ” She sounded unusually calm, and it made me a bit suspicious. “ _How are you?_ ”

I knew it, this wasn’t just a call to see how I was doing since she probably knew I wasn’t sick — she had found out. There was barely anything that got past her, and I had been a fool to believe she wouldn’t find out about this so soon. Which meant she’d talked to Kyouko… she probably knew where she was, too.

“Fine”, I replied shortly, not at all in the mood to have this conversation right now, or rather — I didn’t _ever_ want to have it.

“ _I’m not going to yell at you or anything, I don’t have the right to. I’m just calling you to inform you we’re going to be getting a new co-worker soon who’s going to share our shift. I got to meet him yesterday as he came in to get to know things around here. He seems like a good guy._ ”

“Uh-huh”, I said. It was definitely going to be weird being three people working in that small mini-mart from now on. But it was strange that we hadn’t heard anything about this before, I would’ve at least expected Morinaga to tell us something about it. Oh well, I didn’t really mind it — it was probably going to be interesting.

“ _So when are you coming back to work?_ ” she asked, probably noticing my unwillingness in letting this conversation go on much longer.

“I don’t know”, I said. “Probably tomorrow.”

I really wasn’t looking forward to it, but I knew I couldn’t stay at home forever and avoid my problems. Besides, I needed the money to pay for rent and other expenses, so I had to go into work soon anyway.

“ _Okay, good. I’ve got to go back to work, but come in tomorrow, alright? You don’t have to worry about me scolding you, I know you don’t need that. Just come to work, please?_ ” she almost pleaded, and I sighed.

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

We hung up and I returned to the bedroom where I saw Byakuya had already woken up, but he was still in bed. “Good morning”, he said as I came back in. “Did anything happen?”

I walked over to the bed and crawled under the covers again, nuzzling my head into the crook of his neck. “Not really. Well, Aoi called to inform me we have a new co-worker who’s going to be working with us on our shift. She knows about the whole thing, too, but she didn’t say much about it. She wants me to come in to work tomorrow, and I said I would.”

Byakuya nodded slowly. “Good. And I’m not saying it because I want you out of the house, I’m saying that you can’t really hide in here forever, it won’t make your issues disappear. So you’re going to work?”

“Yeah”, I replied, but I still wasn’t too happy about having to go. “I have to go sooner or later anyway, so I might as well get it over with. If Aoi doesn’t say anything about it, it could just help get my mind off of things, so it might be a good thing.”

“I agree. I’m going to start looking for a job soon, too, so I’ll have something to do during the day as well. Not that I need the money”, he said as he laughed. I felt a sting of worry as he said he was going to start looking for a job again, thinking about what had put an end to his time at his previous workplace.

“Are you ready to get back into it?” I asked, taking his hand and intertwining our fingers.

He sighed. “I think so. I can’t really avoid trying to get jobs because of one thing that happened, otherwise I’ll be sitting in here for the rest of my life not doing anything. Which isn’t really an ideal situation.”

I hummed in agreement, despite still feeling worried about him. I knew that he had already made up his mind about this, and once he had, there was practically nothing that could stop him. That mentality had stuck with him since many years and in a way, I was glad it hadn’t changed or disappeared completely.

 

*

 

After lunch, we decided to get out and get some fresh air so we took a walk around town. We visited the park where we met for the first time after over a year of not having seen each other, and it made me think of what we’d discussed when we stood here. Fukawa.

“Hey”, I said, lightly tugging on Byakuya’s jacket. “I want to go visit Fukawa’s grave.”

He looked at me with a surprised expression. “What brought this on all of a sudden?”

I shrugged, letting my gaze wander over the park. “I thought about the time when we met here and you asked me if I knew about Fukawa’s death… and I just now realised I haven’t thought about it since then. She must’ve been buried by now, right? That’s why I want to visit her grave.”

Byakuya didn’t look very pleased, but he sighed in resignation. “Let’s go to the graveyard, then.”

So we took the short walk to the graveyard, and I realised how cloudy it had gotten; it was probably going to rain very soon, so we couldn’t stay very long or we’d get soaked.

We walked around the graveyard looking for a grave with her name on it, and while I walked around the graves, I took the time to stop by those with names I knew far too well, and I bowed in front of each and every one of them. It was still difficult to deal with the fact that so many of my old classmates rested in this very graveyard, and that I was never going to be seeing them again.

At last, I found Fukawa’s grave upon walking further inside. It almost seemed like it was intentional to bury her in a more secluded area of the graveyard, which made me clench my fist. I may not have known much about her, but I did know that she didn’t choose to live like that on her own but was more or less forced into it because of her disorder and her dark, murderous other personality.

“So this is where she is”, Byakuya said, coming up behind me. He stood there and stared blankly at her gravestone without saying anything, and I wondered what he was thinking. They’d had a very… interesting relationship, to say the least. Byakuya had been constantly followed by Fukawa; wherever he went, she went there, too.

I carefully looked up at Byakuya, trying to read his expression, but it was pointless. After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke. “Well then. Are you ready to go?”

I raised my eyebrows. “You don’t have anything else to say?”

Byakuya frowned, turning away from the gravestone. “What do you _want_ me to say? It’s not like I’m glad she’s dead, but I really can’t just act like I’m incredibly sad over it, either.”

I knew why he felt that way, but I still couldn’t help but wish he felt at least a little about Fukawa’s passing. After all, she hadn’t really done anything hurtful to him at Hope’s Peak since all she did was follow him around and occasionally spurt out indecent comments about herself and Byakuya. While she really crossed the line in doing so — I still didn’t think it gave Byakuya the right to actually hate her since he knew very little about her backstory.

All I could do now was just to give it up; he wasn’t going to change even if I tried talking him into it. “Alright, let’s just go”, I said. He sighed as if he was relieved, and I took his hand before we walked away from the graveyard.

 

*

 

As we left the graveyard, it was already close to six o’clock, and I realised we’d only had lunch that day. Byakuya must’ve noticed too since he checked his wristwatch. “Let’s eat dinner out tonight”, he said. “I’m up for Italian, how about you?”

Having said so, he cast a suggestive glance in my direction, probably meaning we should go to the restaurant we’d had our first date at. I smiled. “Yeah, Italian sounds good. Let’s go.”

Of course, Byakuya insisted on paying this time as well — there really wasn’t any point to me even trying to argue. Despite having dated him for a few months now as we were almost entering November, I still felt bad about letting him pay for my things.

I knew he could afford it and much more than that, but it was a principle — I wanted to do something for him, too. It always bothered me how I couldn’t really pay him back with money, so I always tried my best to do things for him that didn’t involve money since he wouldn’t take my money anyway.

It was like a sign; as soon as we left the restaurant, it started pouring down. Obviously we hadn’t brought an umbrella, so we ended up getting completely soaked. Byakuya took my hand and we ran through town until we reached his apartment building’s foyer. As we walked in, water dripped from our clothes down onto the parquetry, leaving small puddles behind us as we walked into the lift.

We took turns using the shower; I insisted on him going first while I warmed myself up in front of the fireplace which I’d just ignited, avoiding sitting on his couch so it wouldn’t get wet. He didn’t take long, probably about five minutes, and then he came out, telling me to switch places. “What, you don’t have any hot water?” I teased.

Byakuya snorted softly. “Of course I do, who do you really think I am?”

I shook my head lightly, smiling, as I realised he wouldn’t understand my joke, and I didn’t feel like explaining it to him. Instead, I just got up from the couch and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

As I always did, I showered longer than him. I just really enjoyed just standing there and letting the streams of water hit my skin, massaging my body. It was also very relaxing and helped me clear my thoughts, so I ended up spacing out and just standing under the shower for longer than what was probably necessary.

Eventually, I got out and used one of the robes hanging on the wall. It felt chilly as soon as I stepped out of the bathroom, and I shuddered as I took a step onto the floor, remembering I’d forgotten to bring my slippers with me. When Byakuya closed the door to the bedroom behind him as we walked in, I turned around to grab his arm, pulling him closer to me.

He looked at me in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

I stood on my toes and whispered into his ear, feeling my heart racing in my chest as a wave of lust swept over me all of a sudden. “I want you.”

Byakuya stood still for a moment, blinking in slight confusion before opening his mouth. “Are you sure about this?”

Impatient, I tugged on the string of his robe and kissed his neck. “Yes. Please…” I nearly whispered, growing more desperate and aroused by the second. In an effort to emphasise my desire, I lightly bit his earlobe, which made him shiver and let out a hiss. He turned to me and pulled me close, nearly lifting me off my feet as he brought his lips to mine. “Okay then”, he said after separating from me and pushing me toward the king size bed.

Not even a second after I landed on top of the bed, Byakuya fell on top of me, instantly targeting my lips; playfully biting at them and licking on them. I opened my mouth slightly to let his tongue slip in and we intertwined our tongues whilst clumsily trying to take off our robes.

I felt my body temperature rise and was relieved when I finally got out of the robe and was lying completely naked on top of the bed. Byakuya brought his hand to my crotch, making my body jerk up, a gasp escaping my lips. He smiled. “I guess this is to be expected since we haven’t had sex in a while.”

I glared at him for pointing that out; it had been far too long for my taste. Pushing him off me, I heard him sharply inhale in slight shock, and I got off the bed and onto my knees. I brought my hands to Byakuya’s hips and pulled his upper body up so he was now sitting up instead of lying down, and I took his cock in my hand, starting to jerk him off.

“M-Makoto… you don’t have to—“

“Shut up, I _want_ to”, I said just before I took him into my mouth, earning a gasp from him when doing so. I went slowly, letting my tongue run along the underside of his length while I took it deeper into my mouth, almost to the point of getting teary-eyed. I felt Byakuya grab a fistful of my hair for purchase, and it made me even more excited knowing he felt good.

I quickened my pace a little and his moans got louder as a result, his breathing became slightly ragged and uneven. I wasn’t planning on making him come as I still wanted him to get inside me, so I probably had to stop soon. I felt myself get almost painfully hard, and it was getting more and more difficult to focus on what I was doing. Eventually, I stopped and got up from my position on the floor by the bed.

Byakuya looked at me with feverish eyes, looking unsatisfied and almost impatient. He pulled me close and I straddled him, our completely stiff cocks rubbing against each other. He lifted me so I was half-standing up and shoved two of his fingers into my mouth, which caught me completely off guard.

I understood almost immediately what he was planning to do, and began lightly sucking on the fingers he had put in my mouth, looking him straight in the eye while doing so. He looked like he almost wanted to devour me — his expression was so erotic it sent electric waves from my hips throughout my body. Completely immersed in the moment, I let my tongue run over his fingers, nibbling and licking them.

Pulling out the fingers from my mouth, Byakuya proceeded to bring his hand behind me and slowly inserted one of his fingers. I heard a breathy moan slip through my lips as he fingered me, almost teasingly slow at first. After a while, he added another digit, scissoring with the two fingers and widening my entrance.

“H-hurry up”, I moaned, grabbing his arms and nearly digging my fingernails into his skin.

“Do you want it to hurt? You probably don’t, so I’m just going to continue until I’m sure you can handle me.”

I snorted softly. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

He raised an eyebrow and laughed shortly. “Suit yourself, but don’t blame me later for the pain you’ll inevitably experience.”

Finishing his cocky sentence, he pulled out his fingers. I took it as my cue to pull up my legs on the bed again and straddle him. When I did, he brought his girth to my entrance, teasing by just letting the head barely touch circle the edges around it. I whined and pleadingly kissed his neck, urging for him to just get on with it and go in. As if listening to my silent begging, he brought his hips forward and pushed in with a force that made me arch my back and let out a breathless moan. I wrapped my arms around him and started moving up and down, earning a dragged out moan from him as well, which only made me even more aroused.

He put his hand under my chin, bringing my face close and hungrily kissed me, forcing his tongue in. As we found a rhythm in our thrusts, I began lightly sucking on his tongue, and he moaned with his mouth half-wide open as I did so whilst also digging my fingernails into his back.

“A-ah, Byakuya”, I said between breaths. “Fuck… harder…”

Byakuya did as I wanted once again and started thrusting with an almost ruthless force, making my hips go numb from the incredible sensation, only to be amplified by him grabbing my cock which was already dribbling with pre-cum, and started jerking me off. A loud moan clawed its way out of my throat and I felt my eyes water from how incredibly good it felt on both ends. In the beginning, it had hurt quite a bit since I wanted to skip most of the preparation, but I didn’t care about it. Gradually, the pain subsided and was replaced by a pure feeling of ecstasy.

Byakuya’s hand pumped up and down my painfully hard cock and I felt myself getting closer to climax. He must’ve noticed, because he suddenly stopped, making me feel incredibly unsatisfied. “What?” I nearly whimpered.

He smiled slyly. “I want you on your back instead.”

I was a bit surprised by his request, but complied nevertheless. I gasped as he pulled out so I could get off him and lay on my back as he wanted. When I did, he straddled me and hovered over me for a bit, planting kisses along my neck and collarbones. He went further down on my chest, licking and biting lightly on my nipples which made me gasp again. While he was down there, he kept one hand on my cock, occasionally running his thumb over the tip and slowly pumping me up and down. After having teased me for a bit, he once again went inside me, seemingly more turned on than last time, because he went in and thrust relentlessly, his breaths becoming ragged, quick and uneven.

“Oh god _yes_ ”, I cried out, sinking deeper into the sheets and grabbing them beneath me almost as if my life depended on it. Since my release had been delayed, it took me a short while to get back to where I was before the interruption. Byakuya once again noticed me getting close to climax since he sped up and tightened his grip on my thighs.

“M-Makoto, I’m… close…”

“Me… too”, I breathed with a smile, feeling the tingly sensation return to my hips the closer I got to climax. As it finally happened, I screamed, writhed and clenched my teeth, still clinging onto the sheets. During this time, Byakuya kept on thrusting, hard and in an uneven rhythm with his breath hitching as he came, and I felt a warm fluid fill me as he did. Exhaustedly, he sighed as he pulled out and fell down onto the bed beside me.

I turned to the side and supported myself on my elbow, leaning over to kiss Byakuya. He smiled. “That was incredible.”

I hummed in agreement before separating myself from him, and he looked at me, confused. “Where are you going?”

I shot him a look. “Well, I obviously have to clean myself after what you did to me.”

He laughed as I walked into the en-suite bathroom with cum running down the inside of my thigh, furiously blushing. Bastard.

 

*

 

Since I’d promised Aoi that I’d come to work the next day, I got up at five, had breakfast and got dressed to do as I’d been asked. It was my turn to bake bread in the morning, so I had to get up earlier in order to get there on time before we opened. Byakuya chose to stay in bed for a little longer, so I gave him a quick kiss on the forehead before I went out the door out into the chilly morning air of late October. As expected, there weren’t many people walking around outside at this time of the day. The streets were eerily empty and it would’ve been pitch black out had it not been for the street lights.

I unlocked the backdoor of the minimart and hurried inside so I could try and warm up a bit before I started on my morning duties. The kitchen area was really cramped; you just barely managed to move around in there whilst baking several kinds of bread. But that was to be expected since the minimart itself wasn’t that big, either. At half past seven, I was done baking and was just about to go out and stuff the bread inside the counters when I heard someone come in through the backdoor; probably Aoi or the new guy. I hadn’t even heard his name when Aoi called the day before, but it didn’t matter since I’d meet him today anyway.

When I went back into the kitchen to wash my hands, I was met by whom I presumed to be the new guy. He smiled as he approached me and took my hand.

“You must be Naegi-kun, right? I’m Matsuoka Shunsuke, it’s nice to meet you.”

The guy was a bit taller than me, probably nearly as tall as Byakuya. He had a raven uppercut with the top of his hair being a little longer. He had a pretty good sense of fashion, too — but then again, I had no idea what fashion was, so I didn’t really know what was good or not when it came to that department.

“Yeah, that’s me. Nice to meet you, too. You’ve only worked here since yesterday, right?”

He nodded. “I have. I’m still a little green when it comes to most things, but I’m hoping it’ll get better soon so I won’t be completely worthless around here. Hope it was okay that I took this shift — Morinaga said it was better since they’re already three on the later shift.”

I shook my head, smiling. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. You’ll get used to this fairly quickly, it’s not too difficult. And we’ll be around if there’s anything you want us to help you with anyway.”

“That’s good to know. Thanks, I think I’ll really enjoy working here. Your friend was really nice, too… what was her name again?”

“Aoi”, I said. “Well… Asahina Aoi.” I was so used to calling my friends by first name now that it completely slipped my mind to include Aoi’s last name when talking to Matsuoka since he was probably still on last-name basis with her as he was with me… but then again, we’d only just met, so that was natural.

“Ah, that’s right. You seem like a kind person, too, so I’m sure there won’t be any problems with me liking it here.” He laughed, finishing his sentence. I nodded shortly before returning out to the minimart to open up the front doors, only to hear the backdoor bell ring and I knew it was the delivery.

I turned around again and asked Matsuoka whilst walking out: “You already know how the cash register works, I assume?”

“Yeah, I do.” He was already out in the minimart, cleaning up some stuff off the floor. Good to see I worked with at least _one_ tidy person; Aoi had never really taken the initiative to sweep the floor inside the minimart unless I reminded — or demanded — her to do so.

“Alright, good. Could you take care of any customers coming in for a while? I’m gonna take care of the delivery and stock the shelves.”

He nodded and put up an affirmative thumb, so I went out the back to take care of the products that had come in. But at the door was Aoi already busy doing so, and I smiled as I walked up behind her. “Good morning, slowpoke.”

Aoi turned her head, grinning. “Hey. Help me out, some of these pallets are kind of heavy.”

We carried everything inside and started to unload it from the pallets which we had to throw out later, and then we went back inside the minimart to start stocking shelves and checking the expiry date on other things.

“Oh hey, Matsuoka, you’re already here”, Aoi said as we came back in with a bunch of cartons each.

“Yes, I got here about ten minutes ago or so. Do you want help?”

“No, it’s alright.” Just as she said so, an old lady came in through the doors, and Aoi cocked her head in the lady’s direction, still looking at Matsuoka. He took the hint and stayed behind the counter to tend to the customer.

 

*

 

The day passed by without anything major happening — it was a pretty slow day at work. I got to talk to Matsuoka more during lunch, and by the end of the day I could conclude that we’d gained a really nice co-worker.

As we walked home, Aoi and I talked lively about him and the day in general, and it felt like things were back to normal again between us. Well, maybe I shouldn’t have thought that.

“Hey”, Aoi said, stopping all of a sudden on the pavement.

I stopped, too, looking at her slightly confused. “Yeah?”

“I know you don’t want to talk about this, but I feel like I have to. I’m such a terrible friend; first I tell you she’s in love with you and now this… well, whatever. It’s for the best. For both of you, I suppose. I’ve talked to Kyouko. I know you’ve been wondering, so don’t try and deny it.”

I’ve said it before — I both loved and hated how she knew far too much about me. I was like an open book to her and it was anything but comfortable. I nodded slowly, urging her to continue.

“Well, she lives with me for the time being. Don’t even dare to come over and try to talk to her, by the way.”

I frowned, feeling a little insulted. “What makes you think I’d make a fool out of myself again? I’m obviously not going to do that. I want to give her the space she wants, I owe her much more than that after what happened.”

She sighed. “Good. I know you wouldn’t do it, I’m just saying it just in case. I know you guys will work it out, just give it time. If it makes you feel any better, she isn’t really happy about having to be separated from you, either.”

Sure, it made me feel a _little_ better, but not much. Just knowing that she was hurting as well was enough to make my stomach twist and turn. “Oh”, I said, not knowing what else would be okay to say. We left it at that and went our separate ways at the usual place, and I headed in the direction of Byakuya’s apartment building.

“Welcome back, Makoto”, I heard a voice say as I came in through the door. I took my shoes off and walked into the living room where Byakuya was sitting on the couch, reading and listening to classical music. I smiled upon seeing him and sat down next to him, leaning my head against his shoulder.

“I’m home”, I said, sighing deeply.

“How was work?”

“It was okay. I got to meet the new guy, Shunsuke Matsuoka. Seems like a nice guy, we talked a bit during the day and when we had lunch. Aoi seems to like him, too, which is weird since she never likes people the first time she meets them.”

Byakuya snorted. “Yeah, I’m probably a pretty good testament to that. Actually, no — maybe not. I deserved her hatred for those years. But yes, I do know what you mean. Well, maybe that’s a good sign, then.”

I hummed in agreement. “Anyway, so how was your day?”

He shrugged lightly. “I sent out my résumé to a few companies I can imagine working with, hopefully receiving some kind of response in a few days or so. I also cleaned the apartment. Didn’t you notice?”

I looked around me and immediately felt bad for not having noticed how much cleaner it was around us now; even the books in the bookshelf were neatly placed in order, the carpet had been thoroughly vacuumed and it just felt a lot more open now.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t. Well, until now. You did a good job”, I said, leaning up to kiss Byakuya.

He smiled. “I would have called you an ungrateful brat had you actually lived here, but since you only live here half the time, you get off the hook.”

I felt a weird flutter in my stomach as he said that. I’d thought multiple times about living with him, moving into his apartment, but the only thing that had stopped me was Kyouko. Well, she didn’t stop me personally, she would probably say she was fine with it… but just thinking about leaving her after having lived with her for a year and a half made me feel bad. Especially now with all of these things happening.

 

*

 

Friday was an incredibly busy day at work as always, and it was the first Friday for Matsuoka to experience with all of the bustling about. He said it was indeed stressful, but an interesting experience nonetheless — to which Aoi and I had given him surprised looks, probably both thinking he’d reconsider working at such a small minimart. Well, now that we were three, we were able to make things work more efficiently, so maybe that was why.

On my way home from work, I decided to stop by my apartment to check the mail and see if I’d gotten any bills. Well, it was probably inevitable at this point since I hadn’t been there in a few days, and most of the bills were definitely due soon as we got closer to the end of the month.

When I got to the apartment building, I saw a familiar figure exit our apartment, and my heart stopped. Super High School Level Luck my ass — I couldn’t have been more unlucky in this situation.


	18. True colours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang working at the minimart spend a night at Takayama's, and surprises are to be had.

I considered turning around and walking away from the apartment complex to return later. Maybe I could hide until she left? I didn’t want to see her reaction if she noticed I was there, she might think I was planning on bumping into her.

No. I was overthinking it; she’d never been like that and probably wasn’t like that now, either. We hadn’t seen each other since Tuesday, and I highly doubted she’d change in that short amount of time. Despite it not having been too long since I last saw her, it felt like an eternity. I wanted to say something, to walk up there and talk to her… but how could I face her now? How could I possibly go up to her and talk like nothing had happened? She was probably still not too happy with me, which I completely understood.

Clenching my fist, I kept my mouth shut and let her walk down the stairs while I hid behind a wall. I stood still for a bit, taking a few deep breaths before I walked up the stairs to our apartment. It seemed like she hadn’t even been inside the apartment — maybe she came just to get the mail, too?

Upon opening the mailbox, I noticed there was quite a thin bunch of mail in there. She’d probably just taken her share of it and left the rest for me. I realised she’d taken the rent, too, which made me feel ten times worse than I already did since she paid the rent for last month as well. I looked through the window and considered going in to maybe get a few things or just to see if the place needed cleaning up — but upon further thought, I instead decided to just go back to Byakuya’s apartment.

 

*

 

The last day of October was a Friday as well, and somehow those of us who were working at the minimart had decided we would hang out at Takayama’s place for drinks, board games and just to have fun instead of celebrating Halloween. It was the first time we brought Matsuoka, too — otherwise it used to be me, Aoi, Takayama, Minami Fujishima and Kentaro Shimazaki, all three working on the same shift. Aoi, Matsuoka and I obviously finished our shift before the others, so we had the entire afternoon and most of the evening free before the others got off their shift.

I went home to Byakuya during the meantime to spend some time with him before I went back out again to meet up with Aoi so we could walk over to Takayama’s. It was freezing cold outside, yet the snow had yet to fall — which I only thought was great. The longer it took for it to come, the better.

“Are you sure you don’t want to join?” I asked.

Byakuya shrugged, letting his fingers run through my hair as I was resting my head on his lap on the couch. “I don’t feel like it. Maybe next time.”

“Boring”, I said in a pretend-grumpy voice.

He smiled a little. “I’ve always been boring, Makoto. That hasn’t changed.”

“You’re right about that”, I snorted.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you — I’m going on a job interview on Friday. A copywriting company I’d contacted a while ago called me earlier and said they were interested in hiring me.”

“Wow, really?! That’s great! I hope you do get hired. But… I also want you to be careful”, I said, taking his hand in mine.

He rolled his eyes. “Not every company’s the same; I’m highly doubtful that it would happen again. Don’t worry about me, it’ll be fine.”

It wasn’t that I doubted his ability to defend himself if it were to happen again — it was the thought of someone trying to do it to him again that worried me. I knew he was still bothered by it despite him not showing it outwards; there were nights where he had nightmares and some days when just me touching him seemed to frighten him. I completely understood him, though, and wanted to give him the space he needed. But whenever I’d held back, he noticed and told me not to treat him differently and not to underestimate him, so I forcefully put that way of thinking at the back of my mind, but some days it resurfaced, making me hesitant in my actions.

“Okay”, I replied and let that be the end of the subject. It bothered me that I was unable to protect him; I was three months older and him and would’ve liked to be the more mature one of us, but obviously that wasn’t the case.

Not only was he taller and more built than me, he also seemed older. Maybe that was because of his harsh upbringing, though, forcing him to grow up and take responsibility at a very young age.

 

*

 

I left Byakuya’s apartment a quarter to nine, giving me fifteen minutes to spare before the others ended their shift. They had to close up shop, though, so technically their shift ended whenever they were done cleaning up. Walking up to our workplace, I met Aoi right outside as she was waiting for the others.

“Hey!” she said as I got closer. She had two plastic bags in each hand, and I could only assume that was the alcohol for the night. Yasuhiro was always happy to provide us with alcohol for these gatherings, and as thanks, we paid him extra just for him going through the trouble of doing this for us every time.

“Hi, Aoi. Are we going in or are we just going to stay outside and wait?”

“They’re probably cleaning up in there anyway, it’d be unnecessary to go in and disturb them. Let’s just wait outside”, she replied, shrugging.

So we waited and talked for a bit, ignoring the cold weather. Soon we’d be inside anyway, and Takayama even had floor heating — so it’d definitely be worth the wait. Takayama still lived with her parents, but they were both out of town for the weekend, which was why we were able to hang out at her house in the first place.

Thinking about the fact that those we were working with still had their families intact made it sting a bit in my chest, being reminded of the situation I was in. The same obviously went for Aoi, Kyouko, Yasuhiro and Byakuya except for his family members who were living outside Japan. I was sad, obviously — but glad that the incident that happened a few years ago didn’t spread further than it already had done.

About ten minutes after we’d met up, Matsuoka joined us outside the minimart. The other three finally came out around half past nine and we walked together over to Takayama’s house. It was a rather big house, unnecessarily big for her and her other four family members. There were three floors; three bathrooms, five bedrooms a large kitchen area and a bunch of other rooms like an office and such.

Aoi placed her plastic bags on the table in the kitchen and stuffed the bottles and cans into the fridge, while Takayama walked out into the living room. “Do you guys want to play poker or something?” she asked over her shoulder. Aoi and I exchanged glanced, smirking at each other.

“Sure, that sounds fun”, Aoi said, stifling a giggle. “But Makoto… can’t you turn off your talent this time or something? I’m tired of losing to you and your damn flushes and straights.”

I laughed. “I can’t really control that. Also, hey — I’m not going to lose to you on purpose!”

Matsuoka smiled, watching us bicker. “So your luck carries over to gambling, as well?”

“Sometimes”, Aoi said, glaring at me. “But… well, there was a Super High School Level Gambler among us before, and she wasn’t fun to play poker with. Not at all.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

Aoi nodded, smiling vaguely, probably remembering Celes. We hadn’t been really close with her, but Celes had been a really kind person during the time we’d spent with her.

 

*

 

The night went on very well and we had really fun. At some point, Fujishima and Shimazaki had ordered pizza for everyone and we sat in the living room sharing the contents of the boxes between us as there were different kinds of pizza. I’d had a little bit too much to drink, but the same went for most of the others, as well.

Minami Fujishima was the more responsible one out of us, though — she drank a lot less than us and continuously switched between wine and water so as to not get too hung over the next morning. I’d completely thrown that idea out the window for some reason, and somewhere along the night, I deeply regretted not having started sooner.

“I’m gonna go use the bathroom”, I said with a hiccup escaping me as a finish. We were still playing poker, and while I hadn’t won every time — it was safe to say I’d won most of the rounds by now. Surprisingly, the others still wanted to keep going, which was fine by me.

I managed to make it to the bathroom albeit on unsteady legs. I realised upon walking in that I’d been spoiled by Byakuya’s both bathrooms; suddenly, Takayama’s seemed mediocre in comparison. The floor was warm under my feet, but by this point I’d been warm for about two hours already, so it was almost uncomfortably warm. As I opened the door to get out, I was suddenly standing face to face with Matsuoka, who smiled at me as I was about to get out.

“Sorry for surprising you, I was waiting to get in myself”, he said.

“Oh”, I replied. “Well… help yourself.” I walked out and left the bathroom to him, returning to the living room where Fujishima was covering a sleeping Aoi with a blanket on the couch.

I laughed as I walked up to her, supporting myself on one of the armchairs. “She went out pretty quick, huh?”

Fujishima smiled. “She did. It’s probably for the better, she can sleep some of the rush off before we head back home.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Fujishima. Thanks for being the responsible one here.”

Just as I said that, I heard a loud crash in the kitchen and ran out— well, stumbled, to see what the fuss was about. Takayama had dropped one of the glasses onto the floor as she was mixing us drinks, and there was now glass shattered all over the floor.

“Shit, shit, shit…” she mumbled. “Oh, Naegi-kun!”

I shook my head. “Takayama-san, please don’t hurt yourself. I’ll help you with that.”

Not that I would be in much better shape to clean up the mess, but I wanted to be polite since I was a guest, after all.

“What’s going on?” Matsuoka and Shimazaki poked their heads in through the door, glancing down on the floor.

“Oh. Do you need help?” Matsuoka asked.

“It’s fine, really!” But as she said so, she reached down to try and pick up the glass shards… obviously she would hurt herself. I didn’t need Yasuhiro’s fortune telling powers to know that beforehand.

“Ouch! Damn it…” Takayama mumbled to herself. Shimazaki went over to her and helped her get on her feet again. “I’ll help you get that patched up. Could you guys take care of things in here?”

“Yeah, sure”, I said, and they left.

I went out to the hallway supply closet to get a broom and a scoop. My head was spinning and my legs were a bit wobbly, but I fought against it so I could at least help clean up the mess left behind by Takayama. At least I wasn’t as drunk as Aoi had gotten…

I took out what I needed from the closet and went back into the kitchen, carefully (well, as best as I could in my current condition) scooping up the glass shards from the floor. I felt Matsuoka’s eyes on me as I was going about it, but I ignored it and finished what I was doing before heading towards the bin.

“You should’ve let me help you, Naegi-kun”, he said, leaning against the wall.

“It’s fine; it wasn’t anything serious anyway.”

I threw out the pieces of glass and headed for the closet again, when Matsuoka grabbed my sleeve.

“What’s wrong?” I asked just as he pulled me close, making me stumble. Instinctively, I put out a hand that pushed against his chest.

“Naegi-kun, I—“

“Wait a second”, I said before a hiccup escaped. “What… are you doing?”

“You don’t want to?”

I blinked twice, maybe three times. “’Want to’ — do what? What are you talking about?”

He brought me even closer, so close that I could smell the red wine on his breath. “I’ve been wanting to get you in bed for a while”, he whispered, making me feel nauseous.

I forcefully pulled myself away from him. “No, have I ever implied such a thing?”

“But you’re… always so nice to me… and I thought that maybe—“

Snorting, I interrupted him. “I’m nice to everyone who treats me nicely. If you think I was any different with you, have you seen the way I am with Aoi?”

“Well, yeah, but I thought this was different.”

I found it hard to believe this was a thing. How old _was_ he? I hadn’t even asked him, so I had no idea but took for granted that he was about our age. Right now, he seemed a lot younger, the way he acted and talked was a big giveaway.

“It’s definitely not different”, I said and tried to make my way out past him, but he grabbed me once again and shoved me up against the wall, having both of his hands on my shoulders and making it even harder for me to escape.

“Get… off!” I hissed, squirming and trying to reach out to him with my arms, but he quickly lowered his hand to my arms instead, slimming down my chances of escaping even further. As if on cue, I heard someone walking in through the kitchen entrance just next to us.

“What the hell’s going on?”

I heard Shimazaki’s voice and I couldn’t have been more relieved. When Matsuoka froze in place having been interrupted, I kicked him in the shin and wriggled out of his now softened grip on my arms. Shimazaki’s eyes were still locked on Matsuoka. “Hey. I asked what the hell’s going on.”

“This guy right here came on to me, thinking he'd get laid”, I said, shrugging. “But it’s not gonna happen.”

“Oh, I know. Well, Matsuoka — get the fuck out of here before I have to drag you out myself.”

Matsuoka shrugged, which seemed to tick Shimazaki off, who proceeded to shove Matsuoka out of the kitchen while I went back to make sure there weren’t any glass shards left on the floor. I still felt his hands on my arms which made me even more nauseous than I already was. I realised I didn’t tell Matsuoka I already have a boyfriend — maybe that would’ve proved a point. Shimazaki already knew, and so did the others, but since Matsuoka was the newer one in our ‘gang’, I had taken for granted that I didn’t need to tell him. Bad mistake.

I walked out of the kitchen, feeling irritated. I couldn’t stay there any longer, I had to get out, leave, go back home to my boyfriend whom I actually _wanted_ to be with. This couldn’t be happening. I was hoping he didn’t actually have any romantic feelings towards me or it’d be very inconvenient to work with him. I made my way out to the living room, feeling slightly more sobered up. “Hey, I’m gonna call a taxi and go back, I don’t feel well”, I said to the others who sat on the couch. It was getting close to three in the morning anyway, so it was probably a good idea to head back home.

“Oh, okay”, Takayama said. “I’m gonna let Asahina-san sleep over, so don’t worry about having to take her home. Maybe someone else can split your taxi with you so it’ll be cheaper?”

“I’ll go with you”, Shimazaki said, and I nodded in acknowledgement, pulling my phone out of my pocket to call for a taxi. In the corner of my eye, I saw Matsuoka come out of the kitchen, and I turned my back against him whilst dialling the number to the taxi company.

About fifteen minutes later, Shimazaki and I said goodbye to the others and went out to our waiting taxi. The cold, crisp air was incredibly refreshing, and I took a deep breath to let it fill my lungs as we walked to the taxi.

“Talk about a weird ending to the night, huh”, Shimazaki said as the taxi went down the street.

I nodded slowly, looking out the window. “Yeah. It’s gonna be really weird coming into work on Monday, that’s for sure.”

Shimazaki stayed silent for a few seconds before he responded. “Are you okay, though?”

I shrugged, leaning back in the seat. “Yeah, I suppose. I mean, nothing really happened anyway. I’m glad you came into the kitchen at that time… I lose any kind of strength in my body when I’ve had a lot to drink.”

He smiled a little. “Sure. I was going to see if you guys needed any help since I’d already patched up Yui-chan’s hands.”

“Was it any bad?” I asked.

He shook his head. “No, she got lucky. Ah, this is where you get off, isn’t it?”

I looked out the window and realised we’d stopped outside Byakuya’s apartment building. “Oh, you’re right”, I said and fished my wallet out of my pocket.

I handed over what I owed the taxi driver, said good bye to Shimazaki and exited the car. At first, I thought about going back to my own apartment instead so I wouldn’t risk waking Byakuya up when I came in, but I couldn’t go back there yet. It took enough energy and courage to go there just to get the mail, but going inside would demand much more that I didn’t have just yet.

As quietly as I could, I walked into the apartment which was still dimly lit; Byakuya probably left it that way so I could navigate my way through the enormous apartment and not knock things over while I was at it. Glancing at the clock on the wall in the kitchen, I realised it was just past three in the morning when I came in, which meant I’d been out for six hours. Somehow it felt a lot shorter, but that was probably a given since most of the night had been really fun.

I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth and sneaked into the bedroom, which was completely dark, so I had to feel my way around in order to get to the bed. As I walked closer to the bed, I heard the covers rustle.

“Makoto?”

I stopped. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

Byakuya sat up in bed and turned on the light on his nightstand. “Yes, but that’s okay. How was your night?”

Now that he was awake, it was probably okay to walk. My sense of balance was still a bit off (it was a pure miracle that I managed to take a shower, to be honest), so I was constantly tripping and couldn’t walk straight to save my life.

I somehow made it to bed and fell down with a sigh. “It was fun, but we didn’t do a whole lot. We played poker.”

Hearing that, Byakuya let out a small chuckle. “I assume you won a lot?”

I looked away, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I did. But Takayama did well, too.”

Byakuya laid down again and pulled me close. “I’m glad you had fun. You deserve it after all of this mess with Kirigiri. Oh, I forgot to tell you — I hope you don’t have any plans for tomorrow night. Well, technically it’s Saturday now… but you know what I mean.”

This time, I had to look at him, and I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “What do you have in mind?”

“I’m taking you out for dinner. Mostly as thanks for letting me stay at your apartment, but also because it’ll be like a date. We don’t do them too often anymore, do we?”

I had to agree on that. If Byakuya were to get the job after his interview the following Friday, we’d see each other even less since we’d both be working then — and he’d probably get off work later than me if he got a regular nine-to-five job. I felt bad for not having thought about this myself and vowed to take him out on a date next time.

“You’re right”, I said. “Well, I don’t have anything planned — I wanted to spend tomorrow night with you anyway.”

“Good.” He put his hand on the back of my head and pulled me in for a kiss. “Now, we should probably go to sleep so we won’t sleep in all day, it’s not something I like doing.”

“Right. Good night”, I replied, and we fell asleep shortly after.


	19. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are slowly catching up to Makoto, and he's starting to realise that hiding things from his boyfriend is a bad idea. Said boyfriend also has a... surprise for him. Whether he finds it a pleasant one or not is a different matter.

Did we get up early the next morning? Obviously not. Byakuya woke me up around eleven, grunting something about “so much for _not_ sleeping in”, which made me curve my lips into a smirk, and he threw his pillow at me as a result.

I stood in the kitchen and was in the middle of making us miso when Byakuya poked his head in through the kitchen entrance. “Your phone’s ringing, it’s Asahina.”

“Oh... Could you answer it?” I asked over my shoulder. I saw him nod before he disappeared out again, and I turned my attention back to the stove. I was just about finished anyway, so I turned off the stove and went to get two bowls out of the cupboards.

“Asahina said she wanted to meet you.” Byakuya was back in the kitchen and handed me the phone. “You talk to her, I’ll serve this.”

“Okay. Thanks”, I said and took the phone from him. “Aoi?”

“ _Morning, Makoto! Do you have any plans for today?_ ”

“Not really... Well, I do tonight, but not for the day. What’s up?”

“ _Could we meet in the park? I want to talk for a bit._ ”

I felt my heart skip a beat. She could only want to talk about one thing, and it was one thing I absolutely didn’t want to talk to her about. Even though she hadn’t exactly been blaming me and yelling at me over it — I still felt incredibly uncomfortable knowing Kyouko was actually living with her, and she probably knew everything Kyouko thought about this.

“Yeah… I guess. I need to eat first. When?”

She told me to be there in about an hour, so I had plenty of time to eat and get ready. I wasn’t really looking forward to whatever she would tell me, since there was a high probability it was about Kyouko, and I wanted to think about it — or her — as little as possible so I could stay somewhat sane. I couldn’t do anything about it anyway.

Once again I left Byakuya behind as I left the apartment and started walking towards the park, which was located roughly five minutes away. I immediately shoved my hands down the pockets of my jacket as I walked out and felt my entire body shiver from the cold. Winter was just around the corner, and I wasn’t looking forward to it.

I arrived at the park just after noon, and at first I couldn’t find Aoi, so I kept walking around looking for her. Eventually, I heard her call for me from the other side of the park, and as I turned around, she waved and smiled. “Hey! Over here!”

She wore a light blue wool hat and white gloves with her red jacket, a pair of really warm-looking boots and dark blue jeans. As I saw her hat, I remembered that I needed to buy myself one as well since I’d procrastinated doing so for a while now.

“Hey”, I said. “I feel like we see each other a lot nowadays. Byakuya should be glad I’m not bi.”

Aoi smiled. “Probably, yeah. Hey, wanna go grab some hot chocolate or something? My hands are cold and hot chocolate sounds really good right about now.”

I quirked an eyebrow and cast a glance at her gloved hands. “Well, at least you have mittens on. Some of us don’t.”

She shrugged. “I'm sensitive. So? Hot chocolate or not?”

We ended up walking towards a little breakfast diner and getting hot chocolate to go. I don’t like whipped cream on mine — it’s far too heavy and I can only drink about half of it before it gets too much. Aoi on the other hand wanted extra on hers, plus a marshmallow on top.

“You’re lucky you’ve got great metabolism”, I mumbled as I looked at her cup. She grinned as we took them and walked out. “Yeah, I suppose. Oh, speaking of metabolism — I think I’m going to pick up competitive swimming again, but I don't know when. I really miss it.”

“That’s great!” I said. “I was thinking about that a while ago, you used to love it so much, so I thought it would be sad if you never got to do it again. Do you remember when the second floor of Hope’s Peak was opened up to us and you found out there was a pool?”

Aoi laughed. “Yeah, haha — that sure was a pleasant surprise amidst all of those unpleasant ones. That pool sure was huge, though.”

We walked back to the park without really thinking about where we were going. We sat down on one of the benches near the middle and looked at people passing by. I glanced over at Aoi while taking a sip out of my still hot paper mug. “You wanted to talk about something?”

“Oh, yeah. You know I slept over at Yui’s, right?” As I nodded, she continued talking. “She told me about… what happened. I really shouldn’t have had that much to drink — I feel bad for not being conscious so we could’ve left together.”

I shook my head, slightly relieved that the topic wasn’t what I had expected. “It’s okay, nothing happened anyway. I don’t know what it’s gonna be like on Monday, though. I wonder if he’ll actually show up at work.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I had a feeling he liked you. I just didn’t think he’d act on it — hopefully it was just a thing he did because he was under the influence. Not that it’d excuse what he did, but it would still be a little better than if he would’ve been sober.”

“I suppose. Well, now he knows, at least. I don’t like him that way — hell, I barely even know him. Although I did forget to tell him I have a boyfriend.”

Aoi frowned slightly. “Why didn’t you tell him?”

“I said I forgot, okay? I just took for granted that I wouldn’t have to, and maybe rejecting him in the first place will be enough for him to back off… I hope.”

“Yeah, I sure hope so, too. Well, I’m glad nothing happened. You sure have a knack for making people fall for you” she said jokingly, but I still felt a sting of guilt as she said so.

 

*

 

After a late lunch at Burger King, we went our separate ways and I returned to Byakuya’s apartment. When I walked through the doors, a delicious smell reached my nose, coming from the kitchen. My first thought was “ _Wait, is he cooking?!_ ” but when I walked into the kitchen, I realised he’d just ordered in.

Byakuya very rarely cooked anything, and before he entered Hope’s Peak — he had always had someone else prepare things for him, everything from regular meals to his tea. I’d taught him a few basic things since we started dating, and now he made me breakfast sometimes. It might not seem like anything special — but for him? Yes, I’d say it’s very special.

“Do you want some food? I forgot about time, so I ordered some small dishes from the Chinese restaurant in town — there’s dim sum and steamed pork buns.”

“Chinese? That’s a first. I just had lunch, I’m sorry. I’ll take something off your plate”, I said with a teasing smile. He snorted and rolled his eyes before we went to sit down at the dining room table.

“So? What did Asahina want?” Byakuya asked.

I flinched, realising that I’d completely forgotten to tell Byakuya about what had happened — or almost happened — with Matsuoka. It felt unnecessary to take the risk of making him suspicious when it was really nothing, so I threw those thoughts out immediately.

“Well, first of all she wanted to hang out just the two of us for a bit, since we don’t do that a whole lot nowadays. She also wanted to apologise for having gotten so drunk and I had to go home alone, which I didn’t anyway… also, don’t tell Aoi I told you this. She ended up falling asleep on the couch, and Takayama had her spend the night so she wouldn’t have to go home in that state.”

“I see. I’m glad you both were safe. Things seemed to work out after all, hmm?”

I nodded, feeling slightly guilty for leaving out the part with Matsuoka. I was too afraid to find out how he’d react; I had a feeling he wouldn’t let it go even if I told him nothing happened thanks to Shimazaki coming in at the right moment.

He got up from his seat and cocked his head in the direction of all the boxes on the table. “Help me clean up, will you?”

I got up as well and started taking some of the boxes off the table, joining him in the kitchen. I didn’t know what to say, so I let silence fall upon us so I wouldn’t risk saying anything dumb. Somehow, I felt like he wasn’t too happy after all. Maybe he wasn’t mad, but there was definitely something that changed his mood, and I didn’t dare asking him since he already told me he wasn’t angry. I had a strange feeling in my stomach as I cleaned up and walked out into the living room.

Byakuya had already gone out, but he wasn’t in the living room. Maybe he went to the bathroom? I didn’t want to go looking for him since it’d be weird, so instead I walked into the bedroom to grab my laptop out of my bag. As I walked in, I found Byakuya sitting by the desk by his stationary computer.

“Oh”, I mumbled and stopped, awkwardly looking to the side where my bag was. He turned around to look at me, but didn’t say anything. I realised I probably looked like an idiot, so I quickly made my way over to my bag and hurriedly pulled out the laptop from Hope’s Peak. Once again, just seeing it made me feel uncomfortable, and I shivered slightly as my eyes fell on the emblem.

“Don’t you want to get a new laptop?” Byakuya asked, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. What was with this nervousness? I felt irritated with myself, but I just couldn’t shake off the feeling.

“Oh… yeah, I do. But I can’t, not right now.”

“Why not?” He spun around in his chair so he was completely turned towards me.

I looked down on the laptop’s lid and tightened my jaw. “I don’t really have the budget for it. I’m prioritising the rent, food and other necessities. The laptop works fine, I don’t need to—“

“I’ll get you a new one.”

“Huh?” The sudden suggestion was something I would’ve never expected to hear from him. Well, I normally would have — but maybe not in this strange situation. He always insisted on paying for my things, everything from food to tuition fees if we ever decided on going to university, so this shouldn’t have been a weird thing to come from him.

“I said I can get you a new laptop”, he said and got up from his chair. He walked over to me and sat down on the floor in front of me, and I almost felt like scooting back, but he put his hands on mine. “What’s wrong?”

I avoided his gaze and slumped my shoulders slightly. “Nothing… it’s nothing. Besides, I can’t let you do that.”

Byakuya laughed shortly through his nose before he pulled me close, and I recoiled unconsciously, quickly correcting myself. “I don’t care if you won’t let me — I’ll do it anyway. Let’s look at some laptop models, okay?”

I relaxed into his embrace and put down the laptop to my side so it wouldn’t be in the way. “Okay.”

 

*

 

We ended up spending nearly an hour looking at and comparing laptops from all sorts of brands. I kept telling him how he didn’t need to do this and he continually told me that he _wanted_ to — and if I refused to choose a laptop, he’d choose one for me. So I didn’t have much of a say in it, and could just obey and be grateful.

Around six o’clock, we got ready to go out to dinner. I stood in front of the mirror and ran my fingers through my hair a few times. I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt and my belt, feeling like something was missing, but I couldn’t figure out what.

Byakuya walked up behind me and put his arms around me. “Stop worrying. You look good, okay?” His breath tickled my ear as he spoke, and I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry. I just… no, it’s nothing. Let’s go.”

He hummed before kissing my neck and letting go. “Okay then. Nakamura should be outside in a few minutes anyway, so maybe we should head down.”

As we got closer to the restaurant, I saw a very familiar figure standing right outside, looking like she was waiting for someone. Seeing her made my heart stop beating for a second, and I stopped walking. Byakuya seemed to notice as he stopped as well, and looked at me.

“Byakuya.”

“Yes?” His calm composure almost pissed me off as I realised this was all part of his plan. He’d invited her to dinner as well, probably planning on making us reconcile somehow. Well, good luck with that — she would most definitely walk away without saying a word as we came closer and she realised I would be there, too.

But how did she accept so easily? Had he told her it was going to be just the two of them? If so, wouldn’t she find that incredibly odd? Byakuya and Kyouko had only just recently started to somewhat get closer. Well, by this point you could probably call them friends — but even if that was the case, wouldn’t she be at least a _little_ suspicious?

“You… set this up?” I asked, suddenly trembling. Was I nervous? Angry? I had no idea. If anything, I felt betrayed as he’d told me we were going on a date — and this certainly couldn’t count as a date.

“Of course”, he replied simply, further confirming my suspicions. “So what if I did? You can’t be like this forever, you have to make peace sometime. And I’m going to give you a push. Well, that and to properly thank the both of you for letting me live at your place for so long. Killing two birds with one stone. Ah, maybe that's an unfit expression...”

I pulled him behind a telephone booth so Kyouko wouldn’t spot us. “Are you _kidding_ me, Byakuya? Do you really think she’ll go along with this so easily?”

“I don’t. But I can make her.” Upon seeing my doubting expression, he clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. “Jeez, Makoto — have you already forgotten my persuading skills? I used to do this practically for a living, you know. Trust me. Besides, we aren’t even going inside the restaurant.”

As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t for a second believe he’d so easily patch things up between me and Kyouko since I’d fucked up really badly, probably to a point of no return. How could we possibly go back to the way things were now that things were out in the open? Going back to living together, sleeping in the same bed…

“Wait, what do you mean ‘we’re not even going inside’?”

He rolled his eyes. “I told her I wanted to invite her to dinner as thanks for letting me stay at your apartment, and I told her you would be out with friends tonight, so you wouldn’t come with me. We’re going back to the apartment and having dinner there instead, I just wanted to be sure she’d come, so I told her to meet me here. And she did. Now let’s go, or she might run off again.”

He took my hand in a firm grip and led me towards the front of the restaurant where Kyouko was waiting. As she turned towards us and her glance fell on me, she froze in place and frowned ever so slightly. “I thought you were coming alone. Why did I let myself believe you?”

I felt my heart sink as I heard the coldness in her tone, much resembling the way she used to talk in the first couple of months at Hope’s Peak when she kept her distance from the rest of us. Except this time, she was keeping her distance from me and me only, which made it hurt so much more.

I wanted to just walk away and forget all about this, but obviously I couldn’t — Byakuya probably wouldn’t let go of my hand and he’d force me to stay. I had always been weak to his commands, and it certainly wouldn’t change now, no matter how much I wanted it to.

“You’ll be thankful to me after this. If you two don’t deal with this now, I don’t think you ever will. The both of you are incredibly scared of conflict and you want to run away from your issues for as long as you can. But I won’t let you.”

As he said that, I heard the sound of a car rolling up behind us, and I turned my head to the side to see a familiar limousine pull up by the curb. Obviously Nakamura had to be in on this, too.

“Get in”, Byakuya said. “We’ve already ordered dinner for us that’ll arrive at my doorstep any minute now, so we need to leave so we won’t have to keep them waiting.”

Kyouko crossed her arms, clearly unwilling to go along with whatever Byakuya was planning. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because this thing is eating up my boyfriend inside. And I won’t let it go any further.”


	20. Distrust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya meets Makoto's co-worker.

_Byakuya_.

 

Somehow, I managed to get the stubborn girl to get inside the limo after some convincing. The ride back to my apartment was spent in silence, but I still felt like they made progress, even if it was slow.

Anything was better than them not talking and avoiding each other the best they could — obviously that couldn’t go on for an eternity. Normally I would never even think about doing this for anyone — that little brat sure had made an impact on me and made me change quite drastically. It was a scary change, and at first I wasn’t sure I liked it, but after having been out in the ‘real world’ again after Hope’s Peak and working _with_ people instead of having them work for me… it made me think that maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.

Being harsh, strict and demanding had definitely taken me places in the past — but I knew that it wouldn’t work forever, and that a change in personality could possibly take me further.

“We’re here”, Nakamura announced. We arrived outside my apartment building, and the three of us got out, thanking my driver before I shut the door behind me and we walked inside. The ride up the lift felt longer than usual, probably because the two of them were still not talking to each other.

I knew Makoto wanted to talk to Kirigiri — he’d wanted to apologise profusely to her for a long time now, and I had forced him not to do it since it would probably make things worse. Besides, he had already apologised to her for his mistake, so there was no more need for any of his apologies.

“Alright”, I said as I unlocked the door and let the two of them walk inside. “Go in and talk. I’m going to stay in the living room to wait for our food. But for now, you two need to sort things out, so go on in.”

Kirigiri raised her eyebrows ever so slightly while Makoto nodded, neither of them spoke a word. God, they were like little children fighting over a toy. To be honest, I had no idea what either of them were thinking, or what Kirigiri was going through — I’d never had to be in that situation before and I was glad for that.

As they walked inside, I heard the door to the kitchen close behind them, and I sat down on the sofa with a book I was just pages away from finishing. I found myself having gone through quite a bunch of books during the day when Makoto was at work.

It sure didn’t make me feel accomplished, but it would have to do for the time being. I had a job interview the coming Friday, and I was hoping it would lead to a job as I was bored of not having anything to do during the weekdays.

Some days, I felt a slight bit of regret after having closed down the Togami Corporation. It had always meant a lot of work for me — sometimes too much work — as I constantly had to sign contracts, hold meetings and conferences, plus assign tasks to my subordinates to lessen my own workload even just a little.

However, I knew that closing the corporation down was for the better. Most of the higher ups who had been running it were no longer around, and those in my family who were still alive either lived outside Japan or didn’t want anything to do with it anyway. I knew I couldn’t run it all on my own, and I didn’t trust my remaining relatives enough to entrust it to them.

The two of them probably sat in there for a little over half an hour, and it almost got to the point where I wanted to peek inside just to see if they’d gotten into such a serious fight that maybe one of them had fallen dead to the floor.

Obviously that wouldn’t be the case since those two would never be able to even hit the other person since they had such immense respect for one another, even now. And besides — I probably would’ve heard them if that would’ve actually been the case.

But eventually, they came out and joined me on the couch in the living room, and as I had expected, they looked a little happy. Of course they wouldn’t be able to be like that for long, anyone could have figured it out.

“So… What’s new?” I asked, a question that I directed towards the both of them. Makoto glanced over at Kirigiri before he cleared his throat. “We’re… okay. On good terms. But we’ve decided to not move back into the apartment just yet, it feels a little too soon.”

“We’ll take it slow”, Kirigiri added. “I might move in again at the end of next week since the two lovebirds are about to move in together… I don’t feel like being a part of that.”

I fought back a cringe as I had an idea pop into my mind. I wasn’t sure they would like it, but I had to propose it anyway, to at least see how Makoto felt about it.

“Makoto, you can come live here if you want. And by that I mean permanently.”

He turned towards me with a surprised expression spreading across his face, and for a split second I believed he wouldn’t accept my offer. “I— really? I don’t know… I need to think about that. It’s all a little sudden, that’s all.”

Well, he didn’t accept — but he didn’t completely reject me, either. I shrugged, knowing the reason why he couldn’t accept straight away as she was sitting right next to him. “Take your time, the offer still stands.”

Makoto nodded slowly. “Sorry” he said, and I waved dismissively to silence his unnecessary apology. “Now then”, I said and stood up as the doorbell finally rang, announcing the arrival of our dinner. “Let’s eat.”

 

 

*

 

Dinner turned out to become a rather pleasant experience despite the tension that had lingered in the air before. We talked about a lot of different things, what had happened in the time we hadn’t seen each other. Well, “we” probably isn’t the right way to put it since it was really just the two of them.

Kirigiri told us about her impending surgery and how nervous she was about it. She was still determined on going through with it, and thanked me once again for making it a possibility. I waved it off; she’d already thanked me several times before, there was no need for more of it.

In the end, it turned out to be a pretty enjoyable evening. We finished dinner and sat in the living room for a few hours and talked or watched TV before Kirigiri headed back home in a taxi I paid for against her will.

I locked the door after her and turned around. Makoto came towards me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Thank you”, he mumbled into my shirt. I snorted. “You and that girl, always thanking and apologising for everything. You’re eerily alike sometimes.”

“Well, we have reason every time, so it’s not completely unnecessary. Besides, you really should give yourself more credit; you’re more of a kind and generous person than you think.”

I frowned slightly at the words he’d chosen. I would’ve never associated myself with the words “kind” and “generous” — it seemed like something that was reserved for people who hadn’t been raised the way I’d been, people who didn’t have the same kind of perspective as myself.

“Should we go to bed?” he asked, separating himself a bit so he could look up at my face. I really liked the height difference between us, especially in situations like these. Not because I got to look down at him, but because he had to look up at me, and that made him look so ridiculous and… _cute_.

I ruffled up his hair and laughed through my nose. “I suppose we should.”

As I felt Makoto soften up and fall asleep wrapped in my arms that night, listening to his breathing, I thought that it wouldn’t be too bad if this were to become a habit. Makoto living there with me probably wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

 

*

 

That Friday, I woke up at the same time as Makoto as my interview was taking place at nine. He’d pestered me almost the entire day before about preparing for the interview to increase my chances of getting the job position — but I repeatedly told him I was already prepared enough. Part of me believed there was a very slim chance of me _not_ getting the job – but maybe that was just my over-confident side talking.

We left the house together but headed in separate directions as he was going to meet Asahina, and I was taking the limousine to the office building. Nakamura greeted me as always when he opened the door, and we spent the short ride to my destination talking about mundane things.

I walked up to the reception as I came in through the doors, and I told the receptionist I had an interview at nine. She directed me towards the waiting area, and I went to sit down on one of the very expensive-looking sofas. I was ten minutes early, so a little bit of waiting was to be expected.

Eventually, a man in a black suit accompanied by a marine tie walked towards me and stretched out his hand. I got up from my seat and shook it.

“I assume you are Togami Byakuya?” he said.

“Yes, that’s correct.” I noticed the man had a rather steady and firm handshake, and a rather refined way of speaking – he seemed to fit my old standards of how a businessman should be.

“Please follow me. Did you have trouble finding your way here?”

“Not at all. I had my driver take me here, and he knows the town very well.”

The man nodded, seeming a little surprised to my amusement. We walked down a hallway and entered through the second door on the right, on which there was a nameplate saying “Ryuichi Fujimoto, CEO”.

We sat down by his desk on the opposite side of each other and he began the interview. He knew much about me already thanks to my last name, but that didn’t stop him from asking further questions.

It all felt very much like my last job interview, except a little more professional, perhaps. I knew I still had to be on my guard, despite the things I’d tried telling myself and even Makoto who wouldn’t stop worrying about me. I had to take the risks and get out there — otherwise I’d be stuck not doing anything, constantly feeling worthless.

The interview ended after about half an hour of him asking questions and making casual conversation. I wanted to believe I had made a good impression, but anything could happen from then on out, I just had to hope for the best. It definitely seemed like a job I could handle and even enjoy — so it would definitely be satisfactory to get the position.

 

*

 

At the end of that short day, I decided to go meet Makoto outside the minimart so we could walk home together. I got off work at half past two, so I had half an hour to spare until Makoto clocked out for the day as well.

I went to a little coffee shop in town and got myself some tea to go and then walked towards the minimart, taking the time to observe my surroundings since I wasn’t in a hurry. There was a thin layer of snow on the ground that would only get thicker during the coming night, and soon we’d have proper snow all over town.

It reminded me of how we were only a month away from Christmas, and how I didn’t have anything planned this year. I hadn’t given it even a single thought, so I realised I had to start planning for something soon or I’d end up having to spend the holidays alone.

Well, I was fairly certain I would spend it with Makoto and probably Kirigiri as well — so maybe I wasn’t in much of a hurry.

The minimart was as busy as it always used to be on Fridays; I didn’t even have to go inside to see what was going on. I caught a glimpse of Makoto behind the register, taking care of the last few customers during his shift. As the customers left, another guy came out from the back and started sweeping the floor. I’d never seen him before, so I assumed it was the new guy.

Suddenly, Makoto disappeared to the back, probably to get changed and get his stuff. The guy who had been sweeping the floor suddenly caught my stare, and waved. I raised an eyebrow at him, not really feeling like returning the gesture. He put the broom to his side, flipped the sign on the door to ‘ _closed_ ’ and came out through the doors, smiling a little.

“Hey”, he said. “Are you waiting for someone? You’ve been standing out here for a while.”

I realised how suspicious that must’ve made me look, but I didn’t care much since I was about to leave anyway. “I am”, I replied, shrugging. “Is your co-worker about done soon?”

He looked a little confused and took a quick glance back at the minimart, as if he would actually be able to see Makoto from there, and then the polite smile returned to his face. “Naegi-kun? Oh, yeah — he’s just getting changed. Are you a friend of his?”

I snorted. “So he hasn’t told you about me. I would say I’m a little offended, but maybe it just slipped his mind. In any case, I’m his _boyfriend_ , Byakuya.”

“Boyfriend? Oh, that’s something he _definitely_ hasn’t mentioned.”

Now I kind of got the vibe that this guy probably wasn’t as polite and nice as he first came off as. The way he talked was a bit condescending, and it surprised me, seeing how I’d only just met him.

“I see. Well, no matter.” I turned my gaze to the side, eyeing the sign on the door. Hang on a minute, I never even got his name. “So who are you?” I asked, still keeping my eyes away from this uncomfortable person in front of me.

“Matsuoka Shunsuke, a co-worker of your… _boyfriend_ ’s”, he said, taking extra care in pronouncing that last word, which ticked me off. What was his problem? Did he have a thing for Makoto? The thought made a laugh nearly escape my throat, but I swallowed it and took a deep breath.

“Is that so?” I was hoping my short reply would make him lose interest in trying to make conversation as I just wanted to hurry and get out of there — but that slow boyfriend of mine sure took his damn sweet time clocking out for the week.

“Indeed it is. So, Naegi-kun’s boyfriend — let me ask you something. You are aware of the fact that we had a little gathering at a co-worker’s house a little while ago, correct?”

I furrowed my brows slightly. “Of course I do. What of it?”

“You know that much, but you’re still keeping your cool. Naegi-kun didn’t happen to tell you about a certain thing that occurred then, did he?”

“What are you talking about?”

He hummed, quirking an eyebrow. “Why don’t you ask him?”

“I would, but since you brought it up in the first place, why don’t you tell me yourself?” My patience was running out fast, and I tightened my fists in an attempt to try and calm myself down if even just a little bit.

“Very well then. I fucked your so-called boyfriend at Takayama-san’s.”

I was so taken aback by that statement that I had to stare back at him to see if I could spot any muscles twitching in his face, hinting at a smile — anything that would tell me he was lying. But he had a completely indifferent expression on, every muscle in his face calm.

“What?”

“You heard me. It was in her bathroom, too.”

I felt my head start spinning as I took a step forward to grab the front of his shirt. Still looking indifferent, he never broke eye contact with me, which made me even more enraged. There was no way this was true — this guy was just trying to push my buttons.

“There’s very little credibility in your story”, I began, trying to keep my voice steady. “For starters, I haven’t heard his version. Second, I don’t even know you — we only just met. And I find it very peculiar that you would just walk up to me all of a sudden and blurt out such a thing.”

His stoic expression melted into a soft smile that I wanted to punch away. “Oh, I have a reason. Maybe I just wanted to be nice to you, tell you the truth that Naegi-kun appears to be hiding from you. I thought relationships were supposed to be built on trust, or am I mistaken there?”

“Who says he’s actually hiding something from me? Again, this could all be something you made up for a reason I couldn’t even think of myself. I don’t have any reason to believe you.”

He laughed. “Then make sure you have a reason to believe Naegi-kun isn’t holding anything from you, and I’ll apologise for… lying, if that’s what you’d call it.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but the words weren’t there. Instead, I loosened my grip on the guy’s shirt and turned around to walk away. My mind started going in all directions at once and it made it difficult to focus on such a trivial thing as breathing. The last thing on my mind was to wait for Makoto to come back as I left, ignoring Matsuoka’s words chasing me.


	21. Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya's acting weird, and Makoto asks him what's wrong. Angst time! (Sorry.)

I had a chance to sleep in a little that morning as Matsuoka was on baking duty for the first time, being supervised by Morinaga. We’d only just recently taught Matsuoka the recipes for the different kinds of bread we made, but he wasn’t made a regular on the baking schedule just yet. It may seem like a silly thing not to let him bake bread, but our manager was strict on staying by his principles, so we didn’t argue it.

Byakuya took the limousine to his job interview while I took a walk over to the crossroad where Aoi and I usually met. It obviously took a little longer, coming from the other direction, but it was nice to take a longer walk that morning. Byakuya had insisted on getting me a pair of boots for the winter, and they worked wonders in the snow.

I still felt bad for him spending money on me; he didn’t only take me out to dinner at fancy restaurants regularly, he also just bought me a new laptop and then the boots. I had joked to him about how it felt like he was my sugar daddy, to which he’d only sent me an angry glare and said that I could only ever dream of having a sugar daddy.

“So things are going well between the two of you?” Aoi asked as we trotted through the snow that had yet to be ploughed off the pavement.

“Yeah, life’s going pretty smoothly. And you two?”

Aoi smiled a little. “Same here. Yasu’s just recently sold his place, so now he’s in the middle of trying to sell a lot of his furniture and moving the rest into my apartment. We’ve been putting off the whole moving in together-thing for a bit since Kyouko stayed at my place for a while.”

She sent a pretend-angry stare my way and I smiled, embarrassed. “Sorry. It’s all okay now… I think. I mean, at least we’re talking. She said she’d move back in at the end of this week, has she already returned?”

Aoi shook her head. “She’s just about to, though. Probably during the weekend since she’d be working late tonight, and she didn’t want to come back that late, having to unpack and such.”

“Ah.” I felt a tinge of worry in my stomach as Aoi mentioned that Kyouko would be working late — that mostly meant she was on a stake-out, and those tended to turn out pretty violent.

She’d told me countless times not to worry as she was confident in what she was doing, and while nothing serious had happened yet, that didn’t stop me from worrying that someday, it might.

Work went by pretty smoothly and the amount of customers coming in was a little less than normal, so we could have lunch in peace and quiet, only having to peek into the store once or twice during our break to make sure there weren’t any customers inside needing our help.

I had purposely been avoiding talking to Matsuoka since that night at Takayama’s. I was still angry with him, and honestly — it just felt plain awkward being around him since I knew what he wanted from me. It felt weird since we hadn’t even known each other that long, so I was hoping that maybe this was just a phase he’d get through quickly. Well, one can only dream.

Aoi and I said goodbye outside the minimart where we split up as we would go in different directions. It was already getting dark outside, despite it only being half past three in the afternoon, and it was snowing pretty heavily. I sighed to myself as I made my way through the snow over to Byakuya’s apartment building.

“Hello?” I said as I stepped in through the door. At first, I thought that maybe he hadn’t come home yet, but then I heard music coming from the living room. I took off my jacket and shoes before I walked inside, following the sound.

Byakuya was sitting on the couch, reading a book. It was such a familiar sight that it brought a smile to my lips. “Hey”, I said. “How was your day?”

Maybe he was completely immersed in the book, because he didn’t reply, nor did he look my way. I sat down beside him and put my head on his shoulder. The second I did, he put the book down next to him and got up from the couch, walking out of the living room. What was wrong with him all of a sudden?

I followed Byakuya out of the living room and noticed he was heading for the bedroom instead. Frowning whilst trying to figure out if I’d done something wrong, I walked behind him and stopped as he did, right by the foot of the bed.

“So when were you going to tell me about what happened at that party?” Byakuya finally said, and I flinched, surprised at him suddenly breaking the silence.

“What? I did tell you, didn’t I?”

“Did you? Did you really tell me _everything_ that happened?”

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

He sighed impatiently and crossed his arms. I frantically searched my mind, trying to go back to when I’d told Byakuya about the night at Takayama’s. What had I missed?

As it finally dawned on me what he could possibly mean, I felt a shiver down my spine.

“Your co-worker came out and talked to me earlier”, Byakuya said, his voice strained. “He told me something happened between the two of you. Would you care to elaborate on that?”

My heartbeat went through the roof, and I suddenly found it hard to breathe. Matsuoka had probably told Byakuya a story that wasn’t anywhere near the truth, blowing things way out of proportion. Why else would he react this way?

“I don’t know what he told you”, I began, “but nothing happened. Ask Shimazaki — he came in and stopped it right before that idiot could go further.”

“What if Shimazaki’s lying, too, then?”

I raised my eyebrows. “Are you saying that I’m lying to you?”

“How am I supposed to know when you didn’t even tell me something happened in the first place?! Of course I’ll get sceptical — and you can’t blame me if I believe that other guy’s story more, since now I know that something _did_ happen, which was something he told me and you chose not to.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Was he serious? I thought Byakuya knew better than to believe a story he’d just heard, without trying to get confirmation from at least one different source.

“What did Matsuoka say we ‘did’?” I asked through gritted teeth. Byakuya snorted. “What do you think?”

“If he told you we had sex, I’d be tempted to laugh. That would be as far from the truth as you could possibly get. And honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if that’s what he told you. What surprises me is that you actually believe his story over mine. You don’t know him, but you know me.”

“Do I? I thought I did, and I thought that you’d tell me everything, but apparently I was wrong.” Byakuya’s eyes were dark with anger, and it was frightening to see him like that. I’d only seen him frustrated before, but not to this degree.

“Do you want to know what _really_ happened? Okay, I’ll tell you. I was in the kitchen cleaning up glass shards after Takayama had dropped one of the glasses onto the floor. After she and Shimazaki left, that bastard came in and pinned me against the wall, telling me how he’d always wanted to have sex with me. And then Shimazaki came back, pushing Matsuoka off me. That’s it. Are you satisfied now?”

Byakuya regarded me for a moment, as if to ponder the credibility in my story, and I got irritated. I couldn’t believe we had this argument in the first place since nothing had really happened. Actually, we probably wouldn’t have had this argument had he not chosen to listen to Matsuoka over me.

“Of course I’m not satisfied. I’m disappointed in the fact that you didn’t tell me, even if it is as you say — that nothing happened beyond that.”

I took two steps closer to him and grabbed his hand. He flinched as I did so, but didn’t move away. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t see it as anything big. Nothing really happened, anyway, like I’ve said a million times already.”

“So you chose not to tell me that someone’s made a move on you when you’re already in a relationship? You don’t think that’s something I’d like to know, as your supposed-to-be boyfriend?” He pulled his hand away and crossed his arms again, and I let my arm fall to my side.

Listening to what he said made me feel incredibly bad. I’d made the wrong choice and it came to bite me in the ass as a result. We viewed things differently, and knowing now how he was thinking made me wish I’d thought the same way from the beginning.

“I’m sorry”, I whispered, my voice slightly trembling. “I’m just… so scared of losing you. I don’t want to have to go through that again, it was difficult enough last time. I know I screwed up, but—“

“Yes, you did. You made the mistake of keeping a secret from me because you don’t trust me enough to know how I would react if I heard it from you first.”

“What?”

Byakuya sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose whilst frowning. “If you would’ve told me, of course I wouldn’t be mad. That would have at least shown me that you were confident in telling me everything and trusted me. But now that I had to hear it from someone else and force the rest out of you, I know that you don’t trust me. And I don’t want to be in a relationship that lacks mutual trust.”

I felt like the floor was disappearing below my feet, and I was falling endlessly down a black hole. His words felt like daggers piercing themselves into my heart, making it hard to breathe. I slowly backed towards the bed and sat down, burying my face in my hands. “So is this it? Is this how it ends?”

Those were words I never thought I would have to ask. I regretted it the instant the question left my mouth, but I knew I had to ask, if only for a mere confirmation. I felt my palms getting sweaty and my heart racing like one of those cars on a Formula 1 race track, it was awful and all I could think of was how to get out of the situation.

“I don’t know”, Byakuya said, but it sounded like he’d already given up on us the way he uttered those words. “If we can’t trust each other, what do we have? This relationship would be nothing but a shell, something that would end up breaking anyway.”

“What if I can prove it to you? That I do trust you, and that I want to make this work. I want you to believe in me, I want you to believe that what I told you is the truth, and that Matsuoka is a fucking liar who seems to be out to destroy what I hold dear after I rejected him.”

He finally looked at me, and what I saw in his eyes was a mix of disappointment and sadness, and it scared me. Byakuya rarely showed emotions up until just recently when we’d started dating, but this was something I thought I would never, ever have to see. It hurt even more knowing I was the one who had caused it.

I felt desperation grab a hold of me as I got up on my feet and nearly stumbled to his side, grabbing his arms. “Please. Just… give me a chance. I want to prove to you how much I _do_ trust you, how much I want you.”

Byakuya stared straight ahead of him, swallowing hard. “Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be. I don’t know what I want. I need some time, at least.”

“Time…?”

“To think; I need to be alone for a bit. I want you to leave my apartment, and give me the key back.”

This wasn’t happening. This was all a nightmare I had yet to wake up from, all I needed was to open my eyes and wake up next to him. Everything would be fine, we would still be okay and Matsuoka wouldn’t have told him the lie—

“Let go of me”, he said. “Get your stuff, give me the key and leave. I can’t do this right now.”

I felt every muscle in my upper body give up as my arms fell, releasing my grip on him. My body somehow moved on its own as I turned my back on him and walked into the bathroom to gather my things. It was like every last glimmer of hope had died inside me, and I had become an empty shell within seconds.

Not really caring how things ended up when they landed in my bag, I threw them in there as I walked through the apartment to make sure I got everything before I left. Who knew if I’d ever come back? The way things looked right now, it would at least take weeks before I was even allowed in there, whether it was just for a visit or to come live there again.

As I walked out to the living room again, making one last check, I noticed the laptop Byakuya had bought for me just recently. It was placed on top of the coffee table since I’d been sitting there just the other day browsing the internet.

I looked at it for a moment and considered taking it with me, but decided against it. It was something I’d gotten from him, and it still didn’t feel right to claim it as my own. Besides, I had a fully functioning laptop at my own apartment, so it wasn’t crucial that I had the one he’d given me.

Finally, I walked towards the hallway and went to put on my jacket and winter boots, frowning as I realised something else… even the boots would remind me of him, and I couldn’t really walk home in my socks.

I decided to put them on anyway and swung the bag over my shoulder. Byakuya still hadn’t left the bedroom when I was gathering all my stuff, but he came out just as I was leaving. I dug the key out of my pocket with a light sigh and hung it on the key hanger next to the door before I exited the apartment.

It felt like I’d swallowed ten bricks; just walking was extremely exhausting and I had trouble focusing on what I was doing, even if it was something as trivial as walking back home. I bitterly thought back to the time when I’d decided against telling Byakuya about the incident at Takayama’s, and realised how wrong I’d been in not telling him, despite how trivial of a matter I thought it had been.

Of course I trusted him, there was no doubt about that. Trust wasn’t something I was lacking when I decided not to tell him about Matsuoka — what had stopped me was the fear of losing him, the fear that he would blow it way out of proportion.

In the end, he hadn’t done that at all. Instead, he’d made me realise how wrong I’d been all along, and how we viewed this from completely different perspectives. I should have shown him my trust in him a lot sooner, but now… obviously it was too late.

I was interrupted in my thoughts as a car slowed down next to me and the window rolled down. I looked to my side to find Kyouko staring back at me in surprise. “Makoto?”

 

*

 

We didn’t talk during the ride back to the apartment. I probably didn’t have to tell Kyouko what happened — she had always been sharp-minded and almost frighteningly smart, so she probably figured it out the moment she saw me walking away from Byakuya’s apartment with a bag slung over my shoulder.

To be honest, I didn’t feel like talking, anyway. Despite how much I hoped she’d just let me be alone when we got back, I knew that she’d want to talk about it and that I wouldn’t be able to escape from it. It wouldn’t matter if I preferred to have sat in Aoi’s car at this exact moment heading for her apartment; it would be a similar outcome nevertheless. These two women were both incredibly strong-willed and stubborn, and in this particular situation — I couldn’t have had it worse.

And at the same time, I couldn’t have had it better, either. I knew how much they cared for me, like I knew that they were aware of how much I cared for them, and I knew they’d go to great lengths for me.

Which was why I was scared of what could possibly happen now that Byakuya and I had put our relationship on hold. If Kyouko wasn’t going to, then I was sure Aoi would go to confront him, and that definitely wouldn’t end well. I loved Aoi, but her ways of doing things were most often not that thought through, and it had come back to bite her a few times before.

When we got back to the apartment, we still hadn’t spoken a word, and I walked inside the bedroom to start unpacking my things again. It felt odd to be back; I hadn’t been in there for so long that it almost felt like I was only visiting. I’d probably get used to being there in no time at all since I probably had to start living there permanently again.

A light knock on the door took me back to reality and I turned around to face Kyouko. “I don’t feel like cooking so I’m going to get take-out, what do you want?”

I shrugged. “Not hungry.”

“Well, you have to eat _something_. Suit yourself, I’m picking something for you, then.” She disappeared out of the room again, and not long after, I heard the door open and shut close. I crawled onto the bed and lay down with a sigh. All I wanted was to sleep and erase all of these recent events from my mind.

I thought about it over and over despite knowing that it wouldn’t change a thing. I thought about what I could’ve done differently, what would’ve happened if I’d told him from the start and if I’d still be in his apartment now if I did so. Could it really have been that simple?

Sometime later, Kyouko returned. I heard the sound of plastic bags ruffling and her footsteps getting closer. I crawled into a foetal position as if to try and make myself smaller, preferably disappear completely. But I soon felt a hand on my shoulder, and knew very well that I hadn’t disappeared in doing so.

“Come on, eat something. You’ll regret it if you don’t — it’s really good.”

“How do you know if you haven’t even tasted it yet?” I asked, which made her sigh. “Just eat, okay?"

I surrendered and got up from the bed to join Kyouko in the kitchen. I discovered she’d bought tonjiru and freshly steamed nikuman, which were perfect for this cold season.

During dinner, Kyouko tried to make casual conversation while I only felt like nodding or humming in acknowledgement. Even eating was difficult as each time I swallowed, my throat felt like it was made out of sandpaper.

Eventually, Kyouko gave up trying to make conversation, and instead reached over the table to grab my hands. “Don’t force yourself. I’m sorry; I just don’t want you to go hungry later, that’s all.”

Despite how reluctant I’d been towards eating in the first place, I now felt even more hesitant to stop trying. Maybe I just didn’t want to disappoint her, after all, since she’d gone through the trouble of going out in the winter weather to buy food.

After we’d stuffed the leftovers in the fridge, I went and took a shower and immediately headed for bed afterwards, but couldn’t fall asleep. Instead, I listened to the faint sounds coming from the TV in the living room where Kyouko was. Talk about a fun way to spend a Friday night.

To be honest, I didn’t know how else I would spend it. Because even if Kyouko was okay with it, I was still tiptoeing around her after all that had happened between us. It just didn’t feel safe enough to say that we were back to normal. I don’t think we’d ever be able to fully go back to the way things were, anyway.

No matter how hard we tried, I would still always feel guilty for what I’d done, and my actions and thoughts would inevitably bleed into our day to day conversation and activities we did together. We’d already had a proper talk over at Byakuya’s and sorted things out, but it would most definitely take some time before we could consider things good once again.

The sounds coming from the TV suddenly died out, and I listened as Kyouko walked into the bathroom instead, probably to get ready for bed. I pulled the covers over my head and shut my eyes with a groan, mentally preparing myself for either a lecture or a conversation I wasn’t in any way ready to have.

“Are you asleep?”

Kyouko’s voice suddenly shattering the silence made me flinch, giving her an answer to her question. I listened to her walking about, probably getting changed after the shower. My heart was beating incredibly loudly in my ear thanks to my nervousness, and I took deep breaths to calm myself down at least a little bit.

The bed creaked and sunk a little as Kyouko finally sat down on her side with a light huff. I cautiously peeked up over the covers to see that she was drying her hair with a towel. I noticed that her hair had started to get pretty long now; it used to be just a few inches past her shoulders but was now trailing quite a bit down her back.

She eventually walked over to the desk and hung her towel over the chair, before she returned to the bed and crawled under the covers herself. Flicking off the light on her nightstand, she simply said “good night, Makoto” and turned to the side. Surprised, I silently thanked her for not wanting to talk, because it was the last thing on my mind at that moment.


	22. Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto has an argument with Shunsuke at work, and it leads to him giving his manager an ultimatum.

It felt like I hadn’t gotten any sleep at all when Kyouko woke me up the next morning. My eyelids and body felt incredibly heavy, and all I wanted was to go back to sleep. But I felt bad for trying to go back to sleep when I had a tray full of breakfast foods placed in front of me.

“How are you feeling?”

I rubbed the remaining sleep in my eyes and sat up a little, shrugging. “Nothing’s really changed.”

She nodded slowly. “Is it about that guy you work with? Sorry, but… well, I think you knew Aoi would tell me.”

“It’s okay. Yeah, sort of.”

“But nothing happened, right? So why did he get mad?”

I held a croissant in my hand, just looking at it for a few long seconds before hesitantly taking a bite. “Because I didn’t tell him from the beginning, even if nothing happened. Well, okay —  _something_ happened, but it never got to the point where I’d call it cheating. I held something from him, and therefore he thinks I don’t trust him.”

Kyouko frowned and rolled her eyes. “He’s such an idiot.”

“What?”

“I mean, he doesn’t seem to think about the fact that you practically waited an entire year for him to come back, and during that time — you never thought about anyone else. Hell, you were pretty obsessed with him, it was almost creepy.”

I managed to smile, albeit sarcastically. “Thanks.”

“What I’m trying to say is that he obviously misunderstands you. Everyone knows you trust him with your life, especially after all you’ve been through in just these past few months. You were the only one to trust him back at Hope’s Peak, even.”

In a way, she was right. When the other students were doubtful of Byakuya’s theories or even suspected him of murder — I instead chose to investigate further and try to prove him innocent rather than immediately judging him as the opposite. It wasn’t something I was doing because I had a thing for him; I treated everyone the same way until there was a reason for me not to.

Even so, I still didn’t feel like it applied to my current situation. I’d chosen to keep something a secret from Byakuya in fear of possibly losing him – obviously that meant I didn’t trust him enough. I wanted to believe that I did, and I _did_ trust him… just not enough.

“Yeah, sure — but that’s a little different, don’t you think?”

“Maybe, but I can definitely see similarities. It’s about trust, after all. Sure, maybe you didn’t trust him enough to know that he wouldn’t freak out if you told him this yourself — but how were you supposed to know that beforehand? Togami’s your first boyfriend, and I’m guessing you’re his first, too. Of course you’re both going to be inexperienced, and that’s just something you have to take.”

I nodded slowly, trying to take in the things she’d said. “So what, do I just force him to meet me so I can tell him all this? I don’t think it’s that easy. You’re probably right, but even so, what can I do about it?”

“Well, maybe you can’t really do anything right now. I mean, you _can_ , but you probably shouldn’t. Just try and give him some space, I’m sure he needs it. Maybe you do, too.”

As much as I hated to admit it, and as much as it hurt, I knew it was true. We’d been spending a lot of time together, and a little time apart would probably do us good. Well, that is if we’d ever actually get back together. Which at this point was impossible to tell.

Finishing breakfast, we got out of bed, but didn’t actually go outside. Instead, we spent our day inside; watching films, talking, listening to music and enjoying each other’s company. It almost felt like it used to before all of these crazy things started happening, and I was glad for it. It made me feel like it really was possible for us to move past this.

“Hey, stop looking at them like that — it’s a little embarrassing.”

Without thinking, I’d been blatantly staring at Kyouko’s hands. She’d just had her first plastic surgery ‘session’ done, and the doctor had expected for her to have bi-weekly surgeries done for a few months. Her hands already looked so much better, so I just couldn’t help but look since it was so rare to see her without her gloves on.

“Sorry”, I said sheepishly. “I’m just so amazed at how fast things are starting to change.”

“Yeah, I am, too”, she admitted. “Sure, they’ll never look the way they did before, but at least the scars won’t be as noticeable anymore. I don’t mind it taking a few months, I’m just glad it’s happening at all.”

We were so focused on hanging out and so unfocused on eating that we skipped out on lunch. It became very evident around five, when I felt my stomach rumble as I closed my laptop. I looked over at Kyouko, who laughed from her corner of the couch.

“Seems we forgot to eat. I’m hungry, too — do you want pizza?”

I rolled my eyes. “We didn’t cook last night, either. This isn’t exactly living cheaply, you know.” Kyouko shrugged and looked down on her own laptop screen. “I don’t mind. We both earn enough money to eat well, do the occasional shopping and pay rent on top of it. So, pizza or not?”

Laughing, I shook my head. “Whatever you say. Just don’t blame me the day we’re kicked out on the street, because it’s bound to happen the way we’re spending money.”

 

*

 

I had been hesitant about going back to the minimart the following Monday, but knew I couldn’t once again skip out on work because of an emotional crisis. I had to cope with it and try to forget about it at least during the day, otherwise I’m sure it’d interfere with work and the manager was sure to get mad.

So instead, I decided to put all of my concentration and energy into work and hanging out with my friends instead. Being on baking duty that morning, I got out of bed around four and sneaked out of the apartment as quietly as I could so I wouldn’t wake Kyouko.

Since we were close to Christmas, we’d started decorating around the minimart to try and get into the holiday spirit. I wasn’t feeling it despite all the lights, bells and Santa figurines scattered about the place — I didn’t really want to celebrate Christmas that year if it meant I had to do it without Byakuya. Sure, I could always spend it with the others, but it wouldn’t feel right if he wasn’t there.

The four of us had celebrated Christmas together the year before, so it was very likely that we’d end up doing it again, especially since we’d all grown even closer since last time. The previous Christmas happened just a few months after we’d left the Future Foundation, so things still felt a bit awkward between us. But having managed to get past it, we hung out and got closer than we ever were at Hope’s Peak, and I couldn’t have been more grateful for it.

But the thought of not being able to spend Christmas with Byakuya now that I’d finally met him again and even had the privilege of calling him by name, even my _boyfriend_ … it was certainly difficult to cope with.

I pushed the thoughts back into my mind as I took out the last tray out of the oven. It was close to half past seven, which meant I still had half an hour to go before anyone of us had to open up.

The doorbell at the back rang, signalling the first delivery of the week. I opened up and helped the delivery guys carry the pallets with all kinds of products, and they disappeared after I signed the necessary forms.

I returned to what I was doing and started scooping the different breads onto separate plastic trays before carrying them out to the display counters. It had started snowing quite a bit since I’d arrived, and I was glad I didn’t have to leave the minimart until several hours later when my shift ended.

As I came back to get the last two trays from the kitchenette, the back door opened, and Aoi stepped in.

“Hey!” she said. “Oh, you’re just about done? Good job, those look as delicious as always. Mine tend to come out in different shapes or sizes for some reason.”

I laughed. “Maybe so, but yours always end up tasting better than mine. Maybe we should start doing the baking thing together to get an even better result, then.”

“That’s actually not a bad idea!”

Surprised that she actually took it seriously, I raised my eyebrows. “Really? But do you think Morinaga would be okay with that?”

Aoi shrugged. “Why not? I mean, it’s not like we’re making things more difficult. It just means that we’d have to get up earlier more often, other than that there’s really no big deal. But yeah, maybe we should at least tell him before we start doing it. If you want to?”

“Yeah, absolutely. It can get a little lonely around here in the early morning, so… you’re right, why not.”

We started carrying in the things that had come with the delivery and were so immersed in conversation that we didn’t notice the back door opening and closing. I was standing on a stool organising canned foods on the top shelves when Aoi came back out and tugged at the string of my apron.

“What?” I asked.

“He’s here”, she hissed, and my good mood dropped instantly. I felt the sudden urge to go back there and scream at him, just say whatever was on my mind that I’d felt like saying since Byakuya had confronted me about this entire ordeal.

Aoi seemed to notice as she suddenly grabbed my arm. “Don’t. Just ignore him, at least while we’re still at work. You can yell at him afterwards — I’ll even join you.”

I managed to smile. “You’re right. Thanks.”

Going to leave the stool in the back room, I walked past Matsuoka, who forced a smile as he saw me. “Good morning, Naegi-kun”, he said, to which I could only snort before I continued on my way. I heard him try to greet Aoi, but there was no response whatsoever. Satisfied, I grinned to myself and placed the stool in its corner.

 

*

 

“I can’t believe you didn’t yell at him.”

“I kind of want him to make the first move, though. I mean, I can’t just go up and yell at him without having been provoked first.”

Aoi sighed. “What if he doesn’t feel the need to provoke you since he pretty much already got what he was most likely aiming for?”

We had gone to Tully’s after work for some pork buns and hot chocolate. The café was mostly empty, so we managed to snatch our usual seats near the big window.

“That’s also a possibility. What, so you’re saying I should just walk up to him and shout at him without a reason?”

“But you _have_ a reason. The longer you wait, the stupider it’ll make you look, really.”

“Whatever, it’s too late to do it today, anyway. Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow, then… if there’s an opportunity.”

Aoi leaned forward and smacked me on the forehead. “Don’t just wait for one to magically appear, _create_ an opportunity for you to let out your very much justified anger on him. That bastard sure deserves it.”

A part of me was still too soft to do these things, but I knew all too well that she was right. I didn’t even care if I got fired over it if Matsuoka chose to squeal to the manager, all I wanted was to vent my bottled up anger — and like Aoi said, I did have a reason.

We went back to mine and Kyouko’s apartment for a bit to play video games and just hang out. Aoi had always been better than me at most video games, so naturally, she beat me in nearly every race in Mario Kart.

Around half past five, Kyouko came home and we all made dinner together in our small kitchen and ate while watching TV. The three of us hanging out together again felt nice, and it almost felt like things used to be before Byakuya came back into my life — and by extension, their lives as well.

“See you tomorrow, Makoto. We both get a lie-in tomorrow, don’t we? I mean, you’re not on baking duty, right?”

“No, thank god for that. It’s my turn on Wednesday, though. See you at eight tomorrow morning, and don’t be late.”

She grinned. “I’ll do my best. Thanks for walking me home!”

Kyouko and I waved as Aoi headed inside, and we started walking back home again. It was around nine o’clock and pitch black outside, so we’d insisted on walking Aoi back home so she’d get back safely.

We got to bed around half past ten and fell asleep shortly after. Being back in the apartment with Kyouko hadn’t turned out as awkward as I’d feared from the beginning, which was a huge relief.

I could still feel the tension between us sometimes, but I knew that it would take time for us to get back to the way things used to be, or at least somewhat close to it. I was just happy we were talking again and actually were friends, as I’d thought our friendship was for sure over after what I’d done.

 

*

 

I was surprised to see Aoi at the minimart before me the next morning. I had arrived fifteen minutes before our shift started since I only needed to put on an apron and check the shelves for products that had gone past their expiration date. Even so, Aoi was there before me, and it made me stop right as I opened the backdoor.

She shot me a glare. “What? Don’t tell me you’re shocked to see me here before you?”

I smiled and walked inside, closing the door behind me. “Sorry, I guess I’m still not used to it despite us having worked here for nearly a year.”

“That’s mean, Makoto! I _can_ be responsible, you know.”

“I know, I know”, I said through a laugh, putting my hands up in a surrendering gesture before sticking my head inside the mart to see if the idiot was around.

Reading my obvious actions, Aoi sighed. “Yeah, he’s here obviously, since he was supposed to bake the bread. Promise me you’ll talk to him today, Makoto.”

I shrugged. “Can’t promise I’ll be able to do a lot of talking. It’ll probably just be a bunch of screaming, to be honest.”

“That’s fine, too”, she grinned.

During the morning hours, we mostly spent time sitting around waiting for time to pass, taking turns in taking care of the occasional customer coming in to buy something. It didn’t take much effort on my side to ignore Matsuoka, however, Aoi had occasionally responded to his questions or short comments.

I assumed she was doing it so the manager wouldn’t suspect anything since he dropped by every now and then to see if we needed help or to get away from the massive amounts of paperwork he was buried in, even if it was temporarily.

“You guys go on and have lunch, I’ll take care of things here until you get back”, Morinaga said as he came in around noon. I got up from my seat behind the cash register and stretched my back, and Aoi came out from behind one of the shelves.

“Are you sure?” she asked, and the manager waved dismissively with one hand. “Just go, okay? You guys always work so hard, I kind of feel bad. Besides, my workload has gone down a bit, so it’s fine.”

Hesitantly, Aoi and I walked out to the back where Matsuoka was already digging out his lunchbox out of his shoulder bag. Aoi and I had decided to go out and have McDonald’s since neither of us had brought our own lunch, and we didn’t feel like having the sandwiches from the minimart (but obviously we didn’t tell Morinaga that).

McDonald’s was just a five minute walk away from the minimart, and it was the only one of its kind in our town. That day, I really wished there would’ve been others around since the lines were really long.

I heard Aoi groan behind me as we entered the fast food restaurant. “Damn it, of _course_ it would be crowded. Talk about being unlucky”, she complained as we walked over to one of the ‘shorter’ lines.

“I hope Morinaga will be okay with us coming in a little late… it seems like this’ll take a while”, I said with a little smile, and Aoi pouted.

It seemed like we weren’t so unlucky after all. Within five minutes, it was already my turn, and Aoi cheered behind me. “I take that back — this might just be the best day of this week.”

I laughed as I took my tray and positioned myself beside her instead so she could order. “It’s only Tuesday, Aoi.”

“Oh yeah, you’re right. Well, it makes up for last week, then.”

After we’d finished our lunch, we hurried back to the minimart. Morinaga had already left, meaning only Matsuoka was around when we came in. Aoi took over behind the register and I took a chair to sit behind her and keep her company.

We pretty much got away with doing whatever we felt like since we still did our job when needed, so Morinaga didn’t mind if we sat around and talked most of the time when there weren’t any customers.

A guy came in, looking like he was slightly younger than us, and he looked around the shop for a bit before stepping forward. “Er, do you guys sell cigarettes?”

“Yes, we do”, Aoi said. “Do you have ID?”

He fidgeted a bit, still eyeing his surroundings as if he was being watched or something. “I’m not really of age, but can’t you let it slip? Just this once?”

Aoi snorted. “No. Sorry, but I don’t want to get in trouble for selling cigarettes to a minor.”

“Come on! I’ll even pay extra?”

“Are you trying to bribe me? That’s just sad. Get out, I’m not doing it. It’s against the law, you know?”

The guy scoffed. “Like anyone’s going to notice. Please?”

Now I felt like I had to butt in. I got up from my seat with an annoyed sigh. “You heard her, get out. We’re not budging, even if you’re offering a bribe. Hell, even _that’s_ illegal. We’d be committing two crimes at once, and I’m not up for that. I don’t think she is, either.”

He clicked his tongue. “No wonder your shitty store’s got no customers.”

With that, he walked out, and as soon as the doors closed behind him, both Aoi and I gave in to the laughter that had built up inside us during the entire situation. I sat down on the chair again with my hands over my stomach. “How many times haven’t we had to turn down minors before? I regret not having kept a count or something.”

“Far too many”, Aoi responded, still laughing. “I still think that it’s fun, though. It’s fun to turn them down knowing that not even we would be able to buy these things.”

As if to ruin our good mood, the black sheep walked in. “Hey, Naegi-kun, could I talk to you for a bit?”

I raised an eyebrow, only half turning my head in his direction. “Why?”

“I think you know why.”

Sure, I’d planned on yelling at him that day, but I was thinking more when we were on our way out for the day. Not like this, not during the shift. Well, maybe it was fine as long as we didn’t have any customers in.

“Fine”, I muttered. “I’ll be back soon, Aoi.”

“Yeah.” She shot me a look that pretty much spelled out a  _good luck_ , and I nodded before I left.

As soon as we got to the back and shut the door out to the store, I exploded, causing him to turn around faster than he probably would have otherwise. “What do you _want_?! Do you want to gloat in my misery? Laugh at my face? Go ahead! After all, you’re the one who caused this entire thing to happen!”

He stood there for a few seconds, not saying anything. His face was a complete blank, and it pissed me off. I wanted him to feel remorse for destroying a relationship, I wanted him to feel bad for outright lying to a stranger when he had no obligation to do so.

I seriously thought he could’ve become a friend, and that disgusted me. I had been so wrong and it cost me more than I could’ve ever imagined. All because this idiot came on to me and chose to make a chicken out of a feather afterwards. For what reason? Well, he obviously wanted me, but for someone to go as far as to try and actually get rid of competition… that’s _mental_.

“I didn’t think he’d actually believe me”, Matsuoka said. “I mean, I didn’t think it through, I just—“

I was certain that the blood coursing through my veins was boiling by now. I clenched my fists as I raised my voice yet again. “You didn’t _think it through_?! Are you kidding with me right now? What the hell actually went through your mind when you decided to tell him a blatant lie?”

“You, obviously. I still want you, and that’s not going to change. I did what I had to do in order to get rid of that guy. Honestly, he can’t have much faith in you if a little thing like that is enough for him to dump you.”

I was beyond shocked. I actually believed he’d brought me to the back to apologise. I had been wrong yet again, and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“What the hell do _you_ know? You don’t know a single thing about us, so stay out of it! I don’t care if you ‘want’ me, I’m never going to be yours!”

Suddenly, the backdoor opened and Morinaga came in. “What’s going on? I could hear you both all the way from down the street.”

I was trembling with anger at this moment, but tried my best to calm down before speaking again. “Manager, could I speak to you in private?”

Morinaga looked at Matsuoka and me in confusion. “Huh? Well, yeah, sure… but—“

“Now?” I pressed, feeling the blood boil in my veins.

“Okay”, Morinaga said, sighing. “Come into my office. Matsuoka-kun, please return to work. I’ll be out in a moment.”

Without a word, Matsuoka disappeared back into the store, and I followed Morinaga into his little office right beside the kitchenette. I’d only been in there a handful of times during the time I’d worked there, and every time had felt just like the first time I went in there.

“So, tell me… what’s going on?” Morinaga said, sitting down on his office chair. He gestured for me to sit down on the chair in front of him, which I did.

“I have a favour to ask, and first off — I’m sorry. But this is what it’s come down to, and I can’t have it any other way at this point.”

Worry coloured Morinaga’s face as he hesitantly asked: “What is it?”

“I want you to get Matsuoka off our shift. Fire him or try and fit him into the second shift, I don’t care. I can’t work with him, and if you can’t do either of those two… I’m going to have to quit.”

He furrowed his eyebrows slightly. “I’m guessing something personal has happened, and I don’t have the right to ask, but… I can’t just do that. I’ll admit — and don’t tell him this— though I guess you won’t, huh. Anyway, I’ll admit that you and Asahina-san are more important to me since you’ve worked here for so long, but even so, it’s not something small you’re asking for here.”

I looked down at my knees. “I know, and I’m sorry. I know that what I’m asking of you is selfish, but this is what it’s come down to. I honestly won’t blame you if you choose to let him stay, and I hope you won’t think badly of me if I quit. I just can’t keep working with him, that’s all.”

Morinaga’s expression softened a little. “May I ask what happened between the two of you?”

Well, I should’ve known I would have to tell him sometime. I clenched my fist in an attempt to not get fired up again as I started telling the manager what had happened; from the night at Takayama’s up until last Friday and then what had happened just now.

When I finished talking, Morinaga stayed silent for a while, and I got worried for a second that maybe he’d fire me on the spot for causing trouble. I’m pretty sure that if Morinaga heard my yelling, other people out on the street must’ve heard, too.

“You must understand, Naegi-kun, this isn’t something I can act upon immediately. I need to think this through before I make a decision. I’ll let you know by the end of the week, though. I just ask that you go to work and go about your day like you always do, until I’ve talked to you about this again.”

I sighed. I knew it was the best he could do, even if I wasn’t too thrilled about it. “Yes, I understand. I’ll do my best.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Now, your shift ends in about an hour — you should probably go out there and work for the rest of it so I won’t have to cut off a part of your pay check.” I knew he was joking even without seeing the smile he gave me afterwards. I excused myself and left his office, returning to the store.

 

*

 

The week went on, and I patiently awaited Morinaga’s decision. I managed to distance myself somewhat from Matsuoka and only respond shortly to questions related to work. We always left the minimart before him, leaving him no room to try and join us when we walked home.

Not that I think he’d dare doing so after all that had been happening that week, and him being excluded even by Aoi – but it was still nice to throw it in his face. It’s strange how he’d only been working with us for a few weeks, yet so many things had managed to happen in that short span of time.

And so it was Friday once again. It was the first morning that Aoi and I had decided to take on the task of baking together, so this time we both had to get up extra early. I didn’t have high hopes for the sleepyhead I was working with, so I made sure to be in the minimart by five so I’d have plenty of time.

“Good morning, Makoto!”

… Yeah, maybe I should’ve had more faith in her.

“Hey, Aoi”, I said, trying my best not to sound surprised, but failed miserably. She frowned as I walked in to put on my apron. “I told you yesterday I’d be here early”, she paused for a yawn, “didn’t I?”

“You did. And here you are, good on you. Now let’s get started on all of this bread, hmm?”

Two hours later, we finally put in the last two trays of bread in the oven and started cleaning up the mess we’d made. The bread did indeed turn out better than what I was used to seeing in the minimart, which was a surprise. Working together was a really good idea.

“Well then”, Aoi said as she came back into the kitchenette, having put out the last batch in the store, “now we’ve only got a little bit of time left until we start the day. Usually when I’m on baking duty, I have to hurry as it gets close to eight since I’m so slow.”

I smiled. “Well, if we continue like this, we’ll save both time and effort.”

Aoi went out to open up as I took care of the last delivery of the week which mostly just consisted of canned foods since we’d been running low on them.

Matsuoka arrived just as we opened up for the day, but neither one of us paid any attention to him. As the week went on, he’d given up on greeting us in the morning like he used to, and I was glad that he finally seemed to catch on.

Despite this, we couldn’t ignore the awkward tension that lingered in the air no matter how hard we tried to get rid of it. Aoi and I were constantly talking as we worked, leaving no room for Matsuoka to cut in and try to be a part of it. Not that I think he’d dare doing so, anyway.

“Are you almost done? I want to go home _today_ if possible.”

“Yeah, yeah — I’ll be out in a few seconds”, I replied to Aoi who was impatiently waiting for me by the backdoor. Takayama, Shimazaki and Fujishima had all arrived to take on their evening shift. About fifteen minutes before our shift ended, I’d been called into Morinaga’s office once again.

“So what did he say?”

I zipped up my coat and stuck my hands into my pockets before letting out a long sigh of relief. “Matsuoka’s getting fired.”

“What?! Really? Wow… but how? I thought he couldn’t just do that without reason.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know why he’s suddenly able to do it. Well, he said that he’d tried asking the others if they would let him work alongside them during their shift instead, but since they don’t like him either — he’s kind of screwed on both shifts.”

“So when’s he gonna have to quit?”

“At the end of November. So we only have about a week left with him, which is fine. As long as I think about the fact that he’ll be gone soon, I’ll be able to cope with it.”

Aoi exhaled slowly, making the air vaporise as it escaped her lips. “If you say so. I’m just glad he’s getting fired… I can’t believe I once thought he seemed like a nice guy. Looks are definitely deceiving in his case.”

I laughed a little. “Yeah.”

We said goodbye at the usual spot and went our separate ways. As I walked home, I thought about what Morinaga had told me just before we left, and I was secretly happy that I didn’t have to quit my job.

I loved working there, even on the more stressful days, but I had been prepared to leave if necessary. I think Morinaga knew that, and tried harder so that I wouldn’t have to leave. Just the thought of it made me glad, and not to mention grateful.

As I arrived outside the apartment, I noticed there was a package standing outside our door. Giving it a closer look, I found out that it was addressed to me. I tried scrambling my brain for any kind of purchase I’d made recently, but couldn’t think of anything. I rarely ordered things online anyway, so this was beyond unexpected.

Taking the package and the mail inside, I almost immediately began ripping it open, curious to see what in the world it would contain. It wasn’t too heavy, but the box certainly made it look like it contained something rather big.

I reached inside and pulled out whatever was inside, and as I realised what it was, I nearly dropped it back into the box — it was the laptop I’d left at Byakuya’s apartment a week earlier. Seeing it now made my heart ache; it was the only thing I’d left in his apartment, and now that he’d given it to me, it could only mean one thing.

It was over.


	23. Reconnect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a first — Kyouko's POV! Well, for the most part, as Byakuya get a little part in it, as well. The two of them meet up for a talk (or an argument, whatever you prefer), and Kyouko tries her best to cheer up her depressed flatmate in time for Christmas. 
> 
> (Long chapter, oops. This fic is exactly 100k words as of this chapter and I'm crying tears of joy. So proud.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are going on a very abrupt halt from here on, I'm afraid. Uni is taking up a lot of time, and there's another fic I'm kind of putting more effort into at the moment. I do have one more chapter I want to release before I have to put this fic on hold for a while. I do intend to finish it, and just to let you know — there isn't much left of the story, three chapters at most, probably.
> 
> I want to prepare the last bit of the story some more and make it as good as possible (I'm a perfectionist...), but I hope you understand. It's been going on for way longer than I ever thought it would, anyway, haha.

_Kyouko_.

 

“Good work today, Kirigiri; we really couldn’t have done it without you.”

I waved my hand dismissively. “It was nothing, I was just doing my job. Glad we were able to identify the body, though. I wonder what the police are going to say about this now.”

Ueda laughed. “Hopefully they feel dumb and that they should work harder from now on. I can’t believe they’ve been stuck on this case for weeks and you managed to solve it in two days.”

I didn’t tell Ueda, but I personally just thought that the police had been lazy. Well, maybe this would at least serve as a wake-up call for them — at least I hoped it would.

I felt a faint buzz in my coat pocket just as I left the office, and I picked up my phone to see that Aoi was calling. She seemed to have a sixth sense, always knowing when I got off work even when I never really had a set time for when I left the office.

“Hello, Aoi.”

“ _Hey! Are you off work?_ ”

“Yeah, I just left. How was your day?”

“ _Ah, the usual — Fridays, you know. Hey, about Christmas… what should we do?_ ”

We’d talked about spending Christmas together this year again, but since things had changed quite a bit since last time, we had decided to wait and see how things turned out. Obviously, December was fast approaching and we probably needed to decide something soon.

“I’ll talk Makoto into going. It’ll be good for him to take his mind off things, though I really hope this conflict between him and Togami won’t last until Christmas. That’s three weeks away, and I wouldn’t be able to stand seeing him like this for that long since he’s already miserable enough to the point where I just want to go and punch some sense into Togami.”

She sighed. “ _If you decide to do so, we’ll go together. I’ll volunteer our house this year again since your apartment is way too small._ ”

“ _Our_ house? Has he already moved in?”

Aoi laughed. “ _Pretty much, yeah. It feels weird, but it also feels… right, you know? I mean, we pretty much lived together up until now anyway, just either at his or my place. Oh, but before that… tomorrow’s Halloween, right? Are you guys going to do anything?_ ”

“No, I don’t think so. Neither one of us have really talked about it, well — I actually forgot.”

She snorted. “ _Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised that you forgot, you’re always so busy with work. And maybe Makoto wouldn’t really be in the mood to do anything now, huh._ ”

“That’s what I was thinking. Well, I don’t really feel like doing anything, either. What about you two?”

“ _Well, Yasu’s working late as usual, so I’m going over to Takayama’s to watch scary films or something. Nothing big, but that’s fine. We can at least look forward to Christmas, right?_ ”

“Yeah. Well, like I said before — I’ll talk Makoto into it. Thanks for going through the trouble this year again, Aoi.”

“ _It’s no big deal, I love hosting parties! I’ll talk to you again soon. Oh and one more thing… if you do talk to Togami, invite him, too._ ”

“What? Really?”

“ _Not that I think he’ll come, but if he does — it’ll be a great opportunity for the two of them to reconcile, right? Just send him a message or something. I’d feel weird doing it since we rarely talk, and you guys have been hanging out way more, so… please?_ ”

“Fine, I’ll see what I can do.”

Coming home, I realised that the apartment was completely dark — not a single light had been left on. With some difficulty, I managed to turn on the light in the hallway as I took my coat and shoes off.

“Hello? Makoto, are you home?” I walked further inside and put my briefcase on the floor next to the sofa. I noticed a box on the floor, and next to it lay a laptop that looked brand new. Wasn’t this the one he’d gotten from Togami not too long ago?

I decided to leave it for now and went further inside the apartment. The door to our bedroom was slightly open, which was strange since we normally left it completely open. That meant he was home, after all. I peeked inside to find the silhouette of a lump under the covers, and I decided to sneak in. The lump barely moved as I sat down next to it and turned on the light on the nightstand. I gently put my hand right below the pillow, touching his shoulder.

“Makoto… what’s wrong?”

I heard a faint sniffling sound below the pillow and sheets, and I began lightly shaking Makoto’s shoulders as I felt worry build up within me. “Please, talk to me… I want to help you and be there for you.”

He pulled down the duvet a bit to reveal a tear-stained face; red, puffy eyes and a runny nose. “Byakuya sent back… the laptop he’d given me. It was… the last thing I had in his apartment, and now…”

Makoto’s voice trailed off as he started sobbing. I lay down on my side of the bed and wrapped my arms around him. “You think it’s over?”

“Y-yeah…”

I sighed. “Don’t give up just yet. I don’t think he meant it that way, maybe he just sent it to you since he thought you forgot it or something. Just don’t jump to conclusions or it’s going to eat you up inside.”

He groaned as he squirmed a bit, but I didn’t let go. “That would be a plausible theory if it weren’t for the fact that he’s the one who drove me away, and not the other way around. You know very well he’s not like that.”

I had to suppress a laugh. I knew very well that Togami rarely did friendly things. Well, that was up until recently when he’d suddenly started going against character and actually being generous and — yes, friendly. His birthday gift to me was more than enough proof.

“Yeah, I know. But it’s you we’re talking about, surely he’d do that for you. Even if you think it’s completely over between the two of you, I’d be willing to bet a thousand yen on the opposite.”

Makoto looked up at me. “Really? You’d bet on that?”

“I would.”

His hand shot out from under the covers, making me jump. “A thousand yen, deal?”

This time I had to laugh. “Okay.”

We spent yet another Friday night inside, just the two of us. We had too much ice cream, watched TV and just enjoyed each other’s company. Makoto and I had never really needed much in order to have fun together. Just being around the other person was usually enough.

It was still a little difficult to think about the fact that his heart belonged to someone else, even though I’d known it for well over a year — it was probably because my own feelings had come to light in that time as well.

Though it had been nearly unbearable in the beginning, as we’d been apart for a while, it had gotten considerably easier to cope with. I was able to finally be around Makoto without really feeling miserable about having feelings for him, which felt like an accomplishment in itself.

“Hey, Kyouko?”

“Mmm?”

Makoto was resting his head against my chest as we finished watching an episode of CSI. It was just about eleven o’clock, and I started feeling the tiredness kick in.

“Are you… still mad at me? For what I did?”

I looked down at him, his eyes were still glued to the TV screen. Sighing, I responded. “No, I’m not. I was at fault, too, so don’t beat yourself up over it, okay?”

He fell silent for a while again, but this time his eyes seemed to be fixed on the window rather than the TV. I wondered what was going through his head at this moment, what suddenly brought on that question.

“But you _were_ mad at me. I did something that made you distance yourself from me, much like I did with Byakuya. Why… do I always fuck things up with people I care about?”

I placed a finger under his chin and tilted his face upwards so he was looking up at me. “Don’t say that. He’s oversensitive, really — I don’t think you did anything wrong. Like I’ve said before, this is your first relationship and it’s bound to be filled with insecurities about what to do and what not to do. He’s expecting too much of you, that’s all there is to it.”

Makoto frowned slightly and rubbed away a tear that fell down his cheek. “He’s expecting normal things from me, things that I apparently didn’t show enough of. Trust, mainly.”

“He hasn’t really shown much trust in you, either, you know. And besides, this was never really about you not trusting him — it was because you were afraid of how he’d react. I know you didn’t hide it from him because you didn’t trust him… I just wish _he_ knew, too.”

We went to bed shortly after as Makoto chose to drop the subject, and I didn’t feel like giving much more input than I already had done up to this point. Makoto could be really stubborn, and in this case it seemed to end up hurting him more than was necessary.

 

*

 

The morning after, I woke up before him and decided to make us breakfast. Well, I tried — but realised as I looked through our fridge that we were missing a few key components. I had no other choice but to go down to the supermarket and get what I needed, and I was dreading it since it meant having to go out in the snow.

I went out and prepared myself for the worst, but was pleasantly surprised to see that it at least wasn’t snowing outside. I walked past a few houses that were already decorated… well, it was December in just over a week, so maybe it wasn’t so unusual, after all.

While I was at the supermarket, I decided to completely throw out my previous idea for a breakfast of scrambled eggs with bacon and toast, and go with Japanese breakfast instead since they had mackerel for a good price. We had the ingredients for miso and we always had a bag of rice at home, so it wouldn’t be too expensive anyway, even after buying a few of the necessities we were lacking at home.

My phone started ringing as I was just outside our apartment building, and I picked the phone up from my pocket to see who it was. I raised an eyebrow as my eye fell on the name on my screen — a name I never would’ve expected to see there.

“Yes?”

“ _Kirigiri. I have a favour to ask of you._ ”

 _Getting straight to the point as usual, I see_ , I thought to myself. “What is it?”

“ _Could we meet? I need to talk to you._ ”

The surprises kept stacking themselves onto each other. I knew there was only one thing he really could want to talk to me about, and I wasn’t sure if I would like it. But I probably didn’t have much of a choice, anyway, so I couldn’t do anything but go with it.

“Well, can I have breakfast first? I’m on my way home with the groceries, so I haven’t had time to make breakfast yet. What time is it?”

He went silent for a few seconds before he responded. “ _Ten minutes to nine. Shall we say half past ten at the park, then?_ ”

“God no, I don’t want to spend another second outside. I’m coming over to you instead.” I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that, either — it was incredibly cold and there were at least ten centimetres of snow on top of the layer that fell the day before.

“ _If you say so. I can have Nakamura come and pick you up if you want?_ ”

“That’d be nice, thanks”, I said as I started ascending the stairs up to the apartment. I knew very well that Togami would suggest that — which was why I told him I’d come over in the first place. He might not think it himself, but to me, he was like an open book.

“But tell him to pick me up a bit further down the street… I’m not telling Makoto about this, and he might see if your driver picks me up right outside the building”, I continued.

“ _… Very well. I’ll have him wait outside the minimart at a quarter past ten._ ”

We hung up and I returned inside, placing the bag of groceries on the floor as I took off my outerwear. It was still silent in the apartment, which meant Makoto was probably still asleep or at least hadn’t left the bedroom.

As the rice was steaming, I fried the mackerel and made miso, saving the tamagoyaki for last as it would get cold otherwise. My cooking skills were not nearly as good as Makoto’s, but I tried my best to improve as it would be unfair to let him cook all the time.

“You’re up early. Making breakfast?”

Speak of the devil. Makoto came out from the bedroom and stood behind me as I plated the mackerel and tamagoyaki. I put the plates to the side to finish up the miso. “Good morning, sleepyhead. Yeah, I figured I’d try and start paying you back for all the times you’ve cooked for me.”

He clicked his tongue. “Don’t worry about that, I don’t mind cooking — I actually quite enjoy it. So you don’t need to pay me back for anything. On the contrary, _I_ should be paying _you_ back for everything you’ve done for me.”

“Let’s just split the cooking, jeez”, I laughed. “It’s just about done, anyway, so go and sit down by the table.”

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but it turned out pretty decent, which surprised me. Makoto seemed to enjoy it as well — his appetite seemed to have returned, finally.

I looked at the clock on the wall. “I need to run over to the office for a bit after breakfast. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I’ll call you when I’m on my way home.”

“Oh, okay. I feel bad for you having to do these things during weekends, even.”

And I felt bad for having to lie about something so trivial.

 

\-----

 

 _Byakuya_.

 

I don’t know what compelled me to call her, but somehow it felt like the only right thing to do now. I was going crazy with my thoughts clogging up my mind and needed someone to vent them to. And if someone would understand, that would be her.

The past week had been more or less a living hell for me. Just having gotten a new job and still trying to recover fully from the incident with Tetsuya, it got that much more difficult to deal with this other issue, as well.

I was still unsure of what to do. I wanted to be with Makoto more than anything, but I knew that I couldn’t be with him if he couldn’t trust me. If we couldn’t trust each other, then what was the point? Mutual feelings would never make our relationship last if we were lacking on trust.

So maybe input from someone on the outside would be a good thing. Although I feared that Kirigiri might take on the same attitude she had last time we had a talk like this, I knew I didn’t have much of a choice since Asahina might be a worse alternative with her temper.

Kirigiri arrived just around half past ten like we had agreed on earlier that morning. She called up to the apartment and I told the man by the lift to let her come up. The security around here had improved quite a bit since that slip-up he had when he let Tetsuya come up to my apartment, which made me relax a little.

“I appreciate that you took the time to come”, I said as Kirigiri hung her coat on one of the hangers in the hallway. She merely nodded in response and followed me into the living room where I sat down on the couch, gesturing for her to do the same.

“This almost reminds me of that time when we met at Tully’s and I yelled at you.”

“It does”, I said, thinking back to that day in summer when we met for the first time in over a year. It sure wasn’t a pleasant meeting, but after having gone through with it — I was glad that we had met. Not that I would admit that to her, of course.

“So? Talk. I didn’t come here for chitchat, you know.”

I held back a snort. Of course I knew that. “Is he doing okay?”

Kirigiri regarded me for a few seconds with an arched eyebrow. I knew it was no longer my place to ask, but obviously I still cared for him, no matter how hard I tried not to. “If you really must know, he’s not doing too well. I can barely get him to eat and his sleep pattern is way off. Does that make you happy? To know that you once again caused him this much pain?”

I felt anger well up inside me and I clenched my fists, trying to remain somewhat composed. “ _I_ caused _him_ pain? You don’t think he caused me pain, too?”

“Oh, so you can feel pain”, she said dryly. “And how did he do that? By not telling you that his co-worker tried to have sex with him?”

“Is that what he told you?”

Kirigiri shook her head. “Wow, you really think he’s lying to you. If anything, that shows how much _you_ don’t trust _him_. Let me try and make this clear for you. Remember when you suddenly left and broke all contact with us when we left the Future Foundation?”

I knew where this was going and I knew I wouldn’t like it. “Yes, I remember.”

“Back then, Makoto was a wreck. No, he was a wreck long after that. None of us knew where you’d gone off to and we had no way of finding out. He liked you way before that, of course he was going to be upset.”

“Where are you even going with this?”

“Let me finish what I have to say, and you’ll find out. He’s never looked at another man, he’s always wanted you. And you know what? I tried telling him to move on, but he said he had faith that you would return one day.”

I broke eye contact and looked out the window. Maybe talking to someone as biased as her was a bad idea after all. But who else could I have talked to? Hot-headed Asahina? Obviously that would make things worse… so maybe that means this was the best I could get in my situation.

“He’s always trusted you”, Kirigiri continued. “Blindly, even. I mean, even back at Hope’s Peak when you said you weren’t the culprit in Fujisaki’s murder, he believed you and tried to prove you innocent unless he found proof that would point in the other direction. You should be glad that he trusts you that much. He always has and probably always will.”

“So what do you call this, then? The fact that he didn’t tell me that his co-worker tried to have sex with him? Doesn’t that show a lack of trust?”

“On your part, yes. He was scared, Togami. He was terrified of losing you if he told you this and you ended up taking it the wrong way. And then that idiot Matsuoka had to tell you a story that was only true up until the point where they actually had sex. And then you went on to believe his story over your own boyfriend's.”

I gritted my teeth. “But what do you know? You weren’t even there.”

“Because at least _I_ trust him! Not only that, but Aoi says the same thing. Maybe she wasn’t there or even awake then, but she’s talked to others who were there. One of the guys came in to interrupt, and he apparently said Makoto’s version is correct.”

“So you’re saying I don’t trust him?” I asked slowly.

“You obviously don’t!”

I let everything she’d told me sink in for a bit before I responded. “I still need time to think. Besides, I think a little time apart will do us good, anyway.”

Kirigiri looked at me with the same kind of hostility that I saw in her eyes back at Tully’s that summer, reminding me once again that she was on his side and always would be. “A _little_ time apart? It’s been a week and Makoto’s completely heartbroken. He thinks you two are over since you had the nerve to send him back the laptop, which was apparently the only thing he had left in your apartment.”

I had to lean back in surprise. “He does? That… was never my intention. I thought he’d just left it here, that he forgot it. I didn’t want to go over there in person, so I had it sent over. It wasn’t meant as a break-up, I would have told him in person or at least over the phone if that were the case.”

“I would hope so”, Kirigiri said after a snort, but her expression quickly softened. “Listen, I think the two of you really should be together. That should say a lot, and you know why.”

I did know why, and I understood that it must’ve been hard on her to see someone she loved in a relationship with someone else. I used to be scared that he might one day realise he had feelings for her, too, and that would definitely mean I was out of the game… if he wasn’t gay.

“Yes… it does say a lot. I’ll see what I’ll do. And don’t worry, I _will_ think about it.”

Kirigiri suddenly stood up, not saying anything for a few seconds. I glanced at my wristwatch and realised it was almost noon already. “One last thing… Aoi wanted me to invite you over to her place for Christmas. At least consider it.”

She started walking out of the living room to the hallway, and I followed. “Is everyone going to be there?”

I knew she’d understand without me specifying. “Yes.”

We didn’t say anything else until she’d gotten dressed and put on her shoes. As she opened the door, she turned her head slightly. “Don’t call to cancel in the last minute, okay?”

“I won’t; I’ll let you know ahead of time.”

And then she left.

 

\-----

 

 _Kyouko_.

 

I was a fool to believe I would walk away from Togami’s feeling better about the whole situation. At first, I’d been properly pissed off at him, but as I saw the dark circles under his eyes, I understood that he was in pain, too, and that I didn’t have the right to judge him.

Despite this, I felt angrier than before and I wasn’t sure I would be able to mask my feelings in front of Makoto whenever I got back home.

So instead of going directly back to the apartment, I made a detour to Aoi’s house instead to try and calm myself down there first. She was an expert at cheering people up, and that was something I really loved about her.

“Hey! Fancy seeing you here”, she said as she opened the door.

“Sorry for coming unannounced… were you busy?”

She shook her head. “I was just about to make lunch. Do you want some?”

We had a long talk over lunch and I told her about my meeting with Togami. She listened while occasionally humming, nodding or making other reactions, not interrupting me once — even though I could see she desperately wanted to at times.

“He said he’d think about coming over for Christmas, but if I know him right, he’ll show up. It’s just this entire thing with Makoto that has me doubtful. Maybe he’ll just run away and escape from the problems, who knows? In fact, _that_ wouldn’t surprise me.”

Aoi snorted. “Yeah, same here. Suddenly he’s turned into the exact opposite of what he used to be. Instead of taking on the issues head-on, he runs away from them. Yet, he managed to keep his annoying and arrogant personality.”

The last bit had me laughing. “You’re right. Well, it’s true that he’s changed, but there’s some good in the change, too — you have to admit.”

“… Okay, yeah, he seems a _little_ more soft-hearted. It’s probably thanks to Makoto, though”, Aoi replied with slight reluctance. “Well, it would be nice if the two of them made up. This entire thing is so unnecessary and way too big of a deal than what it should be.”

After we’d finished lunch, I was just about to get up from my chair when Aoi took away the plates as she turned her head. “Stay for coffee, please? I made donuts.”

She said the last bit in a teasing tone, and I had to smile. “You really haven’t changed.”

 

*

 

There was noise coming from the TV in the living room as I came in to the apartment. When I walked inside, I noticed Makoto lying on the couch, staring at the screen in front of him with vacant eyes. I sat down beside him and put a hand on his cheek, making his eyes flicker to me for a second before they fell again.

“Hey”, I whispered. “Have you eaten anything?”

I took the lack of response as a no, and instead of trying to convince him to eat, I sat there and just stroked his hair for a while, half paying attention to the TV.

I hated having to be the one in the middle, trying my best to get them back together even though I still harboured feelings for Makoto. But at the same time, I did want for Makoto to be happy… so this was all I could do. Help him get his loved one back, and having to accept the fact that it wouldn’t be me.

Makoto ended up spending the entirety of the day on that couch. I eventually tried getting him to eat something, and succeeded once as he ate an apple, nothing more. At least it was something, and while it did take some willpower and time, he finished it but went straight back to lying down on the couch and staring out into nothing.

It scared me to see him like this when the two of them hadn’t even properly broken up. What if they would, how would he react, then? Makoto’s entire life had basically revolved around Togami since the day he’d left and stopped contacting us. Makoto finally got what he wanted, but it was almost snatched away from him just as he’d started to settle down.

At some point, he’d fallen asleep right there on the couch, not even having taken a shower. I woke him up and told him to go sleep in the bed instead, which he did, and fell asleep almost immediately after. After I’d taken a shower, I joined him in bed but unlike Makoto, I had trouble falling asleep and ended up lying awake for most of the night.

 

*

 

December arrived with just the amount of snow you’d expect; way too much. I pulled apart the curtains and looked out with a dragged out, low groan before I reluctantly put on a pair of sweatpants and headed out into the kitchen. Makoto was still asleep, and I decided to let him sleep for as long as he wanted. It was a Sunday, after all.

With no energy or willpower to get out, I pulled out my laptop and finished a report I had started writing earlier that week on a case we’d solved. I was usually never this late with my reports, but it wasn’t essential for me to have them in too soon, so it was fine anyway.

About twenty minutes later as I finished up the report and sent it to my work email, the door to the bedroom opened and Makoto stepped out. The vacant look he had in his eyes the day before still hadn’t disappeared, and when he looked my way, it looked as if he was staring straight through me instead of right at me.

“Good morning”, I said. “How are you feeling?”

He slowly sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat down on the couch. “I don’t know. Better than yesterday, probably. What time is it?”

“Just about ten. Do you want to go out for breakfast? I feel like having pancakes.”

Makoto looked out the window for a few seconds before he turned to stare at the black TV screen in front of him. “I don’t want to go out.”

“You haven’t left the apartment since you came home from work on Friday. Come on, it’ll be on me. I know you’re weak to a plate of thick, piping hot pancakes. Besides, I think they’ve started with the Christmas pancake menu since today’s the first day of December.”

“It is?”

“Yeah. So get dressed and let’s go, I’m really hungry.”

Even though it took some effort, I managed to actually get Makoto to leave the apartment. We took the short walk down to the little breakfast diner down the street, looking at the Christmas decorations on almost every house we passed, which reminded me of something.

“Are you guys doing any decorating in the minimart?”

Makoto shrugged. “We’ve decorated a little inside and we have Christmas-themed bread for sale, but I don’t know if we’re decorating on the outside.”

“I’m betting on Aoi bugging your manager so she can do it herself. She always gets into the spirit… a little too much”, I said with a grin.

“Yeah”, Makoto replied. Maybe it was dumb of me to have expected him to laugh or even just smile, but I had to at least try.

He ate about half of his pancakes and then said he was full. Not that I believed him, but I wasn’t going to force him to eat it all up. It was a good thing he ate _something_ , and I decided to be happy with that for now.

 

*

 

Makoto’s mood didn’t improve much during the next few days; it was rather the opposite, and he seemed to just get more and more unmotivated. He ate a little sometimes, but never really had an appetite and just ate because I asked — or begged — him to.

Maybe it was cruel of me to think this way, but I found it incredibly strange how one could become this way during a pause in their relationship. I had no experience, of course, so I probably didn’t have much of a say in the matter anyway.

Christmas came closer and I went out shopping for presents with Aoi one day after work. She’d managed to get Makoto out for the same thing a few days earlier as she wanted to help him find something for me and Togami, saying that they should get him something in case he did actually show up. I wasn’t sure whether I should’ve expected him coming over on Christmas. A while back, I had always been able to read him and predict his actions, but things really changed when he came back.

Maybe it was because I hadn’t been around him in a year, but it was probably because he’d changed so much. For Makoto’s sake and for the sake of Christmas not being ruined by a foul mood, I decided to just cross my fingers and hope for the best. We were now just about a week away from Christmas, but I was hoping he’d come with a decision soon.

“Are you spending Christmas at home this year, Kirigiri-san?”

“Yeah. I’ll be spending it with a few friends from high school. What are you going to do?”

Aomori placed her cup down on the table, smiling a little. “I’m going over to my boyfriend’s place… it’s the first time we’re spending Christmas together, so I’m a little nervous since I’ll meet his entire family.”

I smiled back. “It’ll be fine. You should be excited instead, just try and see it as another step in your relationship. I’m sure they’ll all like you, why wouldn’t they?”

She laughed. “Maybe. Well, at least I hope so. Thanks, I’ll try and think positively about it.”

We’d gone out for a cup of coffee after work having skipped the usual cup we had after lunch since the office’s coffee machine was broken. This left every one of our colleagues depressed and slower than usual, as no one had any will to go out in the snow to get coffee.

Almost as if she intended on making this a habit, Aoi called me as I went home for the day. I rolled up my coat sleeve and looked at my wristwatch; it was just after five. I picked up the call and was surprised to hear a worried tone in Aoi’s voice.

“ _Don’t yell at Makoto when you get home, okay?_ ”

I frowned to myself as I unlocked the car and sat down inside. “What are you talking about? What did he do?”

“ _He didn’t really… do anything, that’s the issue. He’s been really off today and I had to elbow him in the side a few times so he’d get his focus back on work. Morinaga told him that he should take a few days off, because he’s not really focused and it slows down business._ ”

“I see”, I said slowly, taking in what Aoi had told me. “Maybe it’ll be good for him, but how about you? That guy Matsuoka quit, didn’t he?”

“ _Well, he got fired, but yeah. Also, I’ll be fine. Morinaga said he’d be able to assist me for a few days since he doesn’t have much work otherwise — so it’ll work itself out. I just want Makoto to get back to his usual self soon. I worry about him._ ”

I sighed. “I do, too. He’s barely eating, sleeps most of the time and just doesn’t have any energy… I don’t know what to do about it and it scares me.”

“ _I fucking hate Togami for doing this to him._ ”

I leaned back against the headrest and closed my eyes as the car slowly heated up. “I’m not really taking Togami’s side here, but… he seems to be suffering, too. I could see it clearly when we met at his place. They’re viewing this from different angles and they need to try and understand each other’s point of view. And make up.”

Aoi laughed a humourless laugh. “ _You’re right. I’d love to come visit him, but I guess he doesn’t need any more people to bother him right now. At least tell him I said hi._ ”

“I will. And hey... please don't do anything rash, Aoi."

" _What do you mean?_ "

I sighed. "You know very well what I mean."

She went silent for a few seconds, and I could literally see the frown on her face. " _Fine, I promise_."

"Good. Talk to you soon.”

Before I went back home, I drove to the Chinese restaurant downtown and picked up some food for myself and Makoto. We weren’t too adventurous and almost always ordered the same thing, so there were no problems with deciding on what to get for him.

Having picked up dinner, I drove back and parked outside the apartment complex. The street lights had just been lit, making it easier to navigate my way to the stairs up to our apartment as it was nearly pitch black out already, even though it wasn’t even six in the evening.

The apartment was, if possible, even darker as I walked in. It was silent, almost to the point where I could probably hear a strand of hair fall to the floor. I walked inside, turned on the light in the hallway and placed my briefcase next to the sofa as usual. I cautiously walked into the bedroom where I once again found a lump under the covers. I sat down and put my hand on Makoto’s shoulder. “Hey. Do you want dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.”

I sighed. “Okay, I’ll rephrase that into a request instead. Please come out and have dinner. I went and got us some Chinese. It’ll get cold soon.”

Makoto squirmed a little and let out a muffled groan, but eventually emerged from the pile he’d made of the duvet. I went out before him and started setting the table with glasses and a pitcher of water.

Soon enough, I heard the soft, dragged footsteps of Makoto behind me. Before I had the time to turn around, I felt him embrace me from behind and sigh in a trembling voice. I closed my eyes and put my hands over his.

“I’m sorry”, he said. “I’m causing problems for everyone around me by being this selfish and I can’t help it. I even managed to fuck up at work… I’m the worst.”

I tightened my grip around his arms. “Stop saying that. You’re not the worst, you’re far from it, okay? It’s okay, you’re only human and can’t really predict how you’re going to act in situations like these. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Turning around to face him, I put my hand behind his head and rested his chin on my shoulder as he exhaled slowly. “Are we celebrating Christmas over at Aoi’s?”

“And Yasuhiro’s”, I corrected him. “Well, I told her I’d talk to you about it — do you want to go? We don’t really have to if—“

“No, let’s go. It might be good to get out of the house anyway.” Makoto lifted his head and separated himself from me. “Now let’s eat. I’m starving.”

I smiled a little as I noticed a glimpse of the old Makoto in him. “Yeah, same here.”

 

*

 

The following Tuesday, Makoto was back at work for the second day in a row, Monday having been a modest success. He seemed to do a lot better, which Aoi could attest to as well. I had yet to hear from Togami about Christmas, but I was starting to lose hope that he’d actually contact me at all.

We were now only a day away from Christmas, and you could really tell. People were running around town getting Christmas gifts in the last second, and every single building was decorated from top to bottom.

The four of us went out after work to buy groceries for the Christmas dinner. Since Makoto and Aoi finished earlier than Yasuhiro and I, they decided they’d wait for us at Tully’s and we’d all go to the supermarket together.

“So how was work?” Aoi asked me as we walked out of the supermarket, everyone carrying a plastic bag filled to the brim with groceries.

“It was… emotionally tough. We had to help the police out with a hostage situation. I usually don’t let these things get to me, but today… somehow it still did.”

Aoi sighed. “I’m sorry. I hope it turned out alright?”

“Yeah”, I said, looking at the advertisements plastered all over the stores in town as we walked by them. “We managed to take down the guys without anyone getting harmed… well, _they_ did, but they’ll live.”

We made it over to Aoi’s and Yasuhiro’s house having waddled through the deep snow, and started stuffing the groceries into the fridge and cupboards which were already half full of other things.

Despite technically being on duty during Christmas, I wasn’t expecting to get a call, so I had offered to help with Christmas dinner the next day. Makoto had tried insisting on wanting to help as well, but Aoi and I convinced him we wouldn’t need any help.

“That’s mean”, Makoto said, pouting. “So what am I supposed to do before I get here? Sit and twiddle my thumbs?”

Aoi laughed. “Why not? Sounds like a fun way to kill time. No, but seriously — let the ladies do the work. You guys always say women belong in the kitchen anyway.”

“Wow, Aoi, I never knew you’d say such a thing”, Yasuhiro said, sounding impressed and shocked at the same time.

“I get it from you”, she replied with a fake smile, making us all laugh.

 

*

 

So the next day sometime after lunch, I got ready to go over to Aoi’s. I decided I’d get changed into my formal clothes after we were done with preparing the food in case I’d get the clothes dirty, so I folded my dress and put it in a bag along with my stockings and make-up bag.

Makoto walked into the bedroom and laughed as he saw me gathering all of my stuff. “It must be tough being a woman sometimes, huh.”

I snorted. “I don’t actually mind, and I’m usually on time despite having things to prepare.”

“I know. You’ve always been the most punctual one of us, and I’m glad I live with you since I’m not very good with being on time myself.”

“You’re right about that one. Well, I probably need to leave. Don’t forget to be there at five, and don’t forget the presents.”

Makoto rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah — I know. I promise I’ll be on time today, at least.”

“Good” I said, laughing. “Do you want to take the car, by the way? I feel like I’m always hogging it to myself.”

He waved his hand dismissively. “I don’t mind, you can take the car. It’s not that far to walk anyway.”

“But you hate snow.”

“I do, but it’s fine. Just take the car, okay? You already persuaded me into not helping with dinner, so now I’m forcing you to take the car.”

I shrugged. “Weird, but okay, I’ll take it. See you soon, then.” I didn’t want to tell him, but I was secretly glad he told me to take the car since I had no interest whatsoever in walking through the snow over to Aoi’s house, even if it wasn’t — like Makoto said — that long of a walk.

“Merry Christmas!” Aoi practically threw herself over me as she opened the door, causing me to take two steps back from the impact.

“Hey”, I said, my voice muffled. “Merry Christmas to you, too. Now can I come in? It’s freezing outside.”

“Oh! Of course you can”, she replied with a laugh.

I walked into the house and was so glad she had heating in the floor since my feet were already ice cold. After having placed my gifts under the Christmas tree in the living room, I joined Aoi out in the kitchen.

“So, do you want to prepare the ham or the cake?” Aoi asked, taking down some dry ingredients for the cake from one of the cupboards.

I shrugged. “I’m not confident enough to do the ham, so if you’re fine with it, I’ll do the cake.”

“Good”, she said with a sigh of relief. “I was hoping you’d say that since I wanted to make the ham myself.”

“But you could’ve just picked it, you know. It’s all up to you since we’re at your house and all.”

Suddenly, my phone started ringing out in the hallway, and I cursed silently to myself.

“What is it?” Aoi asked.

“It’s probably work. I was really hoping they wouldn’t call today”, I said as I walked out into the hallway to pick up. I knew that if I didn’t, my boss would be royally pissed off.

But it wasn’t anyone from work calling — it was Makoto. Surprised, I picked up.

“Makoto?”

“ _Kyouko… he’s— here_ ”, a trembling, whispering voice told me over the phone.

I frowned in confusion, but probably should’ve known who he meant without asking. “Who?”

“ _Byakuya came over. He wants to talk._ ”


	24. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto and Byakuya talk things out. Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge delay, and lots of apologies. Since I'm quite a bit ahead in another fic I'm writing, I decided to let it rest for a while and focus a bit on this one. So, here you go, another update! (Can't tell when the next one'll come out though...)

I felt like someone punched me in the gut as I opened the door to see Byakuya standing outside. I hadn’t seen him in weeks, and all of a sudden… there he was, looking the same as ever, yet different somehow.

“Merry Christmas”, he said, and it felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest.

“Y-yeah… same to you”, was all I managed to say despite my voice coming out slightly hoarse. My throat felt dry and my head was spinning. Was this a cruel dream I was having?

“Can I come in? I… wanted to talk to you. I know the timing is the worst as can be, but—”

“It’s fine”, I mumbled and stepped aside, signalling for him to come in. I closed the door behind him and walked inside. Feeling the panic creep up on me, I told him I’d be out in a minute and that I’d just go to the bathroom really quick.

What I really needed was some support, and there was only one person I knew I could call at a moment like this.

“ _Makoto?_ ”

I’d expected that hearing Kyouko’s voice would calm me down, but it didn’t. I sat down on the toilet seat and took a shaky breath.

“Kyouko… he’s… here”, I whispered into the phone. I didn’t want him to hear I was on the phone, so I spoke as quietly as I could, but clearly enough for her to hear me as well.

“ _Who?_ ”

“Byakuya came over. He wants to talk.”

I heard her gasp in surprise. “ _What?! He came over to our apartment? On Christmas Day? Talk about timing._ ”

I laughed a humourless laugh. “He said the same thing about bad timing. What should I do? I’m freaking out.”

“ _Calm down, I’m sure it’ll be fine. If not, call me again and I’ll be over in a minute to kick his ass. But just go out there and listen to what he has to say. I’m willing to bet he’s not there to break up with you. I just… have a feeling._ ”

“I hope you’re right”, I said and got up on trembling legs. “I’d better go out before he starts wondering what the hell I’m doing. Thanks, Kyouko.”

“ _No problem. Just call me if there’s anything, okay? See you soon_.”

I hung up and walked over to the sink to wash my face before I prepared myself mentally for what could come, and walked out.

 _He’s probably here to end things officially, Kyouko might be wrong_ , I thought to myself, feeling a knot form in my stomach. What else could it be? He sent back the laptop I’d left at his apartment half on purpose, which was as good of a sign as any.

We moved into the living room and sat down on the couch. There was a distance between us that felt incredibly odd, and only added onto my worry. I just wanted it to be over quick, I didn’t need him to drag it out any longer since I’d been suffering for weeks already.

But what he did next completely threw my fears and suspicions out the window. Byakuya took my hand and only a second later, he pulled me towards his chest and put his arms around me. I suddenly found it difficult to breathe, wanting to be anywhere but on that couch at that moment.

“I missed you.” His voice was trembling ever so slightly, and the tone in his voice frightened me. I didn’t dare to look up, so I kept looking straight in front of me, deathly afraid of making eye contact with him. I knew I wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye if his voice sounded like that now; I’d probably crumble to pieces within seconds.

“I’ve been such an idiot… I was so blinded by my misplaced anger that I didn’t even try to think about it from your perspective. I said you weren’t the one who trusted me, but it’s been the opposite all along. I do trust you, but… for a moment, I didn’t. I don’t know what made me think you would cheat on me, and I’m not saying that because I’m full of myself.”

That line would’ve normally made me laugh, but now… all I could do was listen and take it all in. Kyouko _had_ been right… he didn’t come over to end our relationship, and I couldn’t have been more relieved.

“I’m still working on my trust issues, and I… well, I know I’ve already asked too much of you as it is, but I have to be selfish once again and ask you to be patient with me. If you can give me another chance, that is.”

This time, I was confident enough to look up and meet his gaze. “Of course I can, and I want to. We both have issues we need to work on, and I want to work on them together. I just thought _you_ didn’t want that.”

Byakuya shook his head and kissed me lightly on the head before he looked me in the eyes again. “I do, more than anything. You’ve changed me more than anyone ever has, and you mean more to me than I thought was possible. I can’t afford to lose you.”

“So… does that mean you don’t think I did it with—“

“No, I don’t”, Byakuya said, his face stern. “I don’t know why I thought it in the first place. First off, he’s incredibly ugly and very rude. Well, I guess I can be rude, too, but…”

“… that’s different. Besides, you’ve changed a lot these past months.”

“You’re right. I owe it all to you, and I’m sorry I ever doubted you. Deep down, I knew all along that you wouldn’t go for anyone else, I was just afraid that maybe one day, someone might be able to take you away from me.”

I rolled my eyes. “You should know by now that it’s probably not going to happen. I mean, I wanted you for two years when we were at Hope’s Peak, I waited for you a year after we left the Future Foundation… that’s got to be good enough proof, right?”

“It is”, Byakuya admitted. “Makoto, I’m sorry. I really am, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to earn your trust and forgiveness, if you’ll let me.”

I slowly shook my head, closing my eyes and taking it all in. “And here I thought you wanted to break up. Well, I sort of already thought it was over, so I was confused as to why you’d come here in the first place.”

He looked at me with slightly furrowed eyebrows. “Break up? When would I have done that?”

“When you sent the laptop over. I sort of figured since that was the last thing I forgot at your place, and you wanted to get rid of everything I had in your apartment before it was really over.”

Byakuya sighed, smiling a little. “No, no — that’s not what I meant. I’m sorry, I can see how you interpreted it that way, but it was much simpler than that. I just sent it to you since I thought you forgot it, and… I didn’t really think I’d be welcome if I came over in person to give it to you. Wouldn’t want to risk running into Kirigiri, either.”

I had to bite back a laugh as I remembered last time Kyouko was angry at him and could’ve easily attacked him without hesitation. Thinking about it, it still baffled me how they managed to have a somewhat normal conversation considering the way she’d acted before she went to meet him at Tully’s.

“So… you don’t want to break up?” I asked cautiously, looking away. Just as I did, Byakuya put an index finger under my chin and forced me to look him in the eyes.

“No, I don’t. I want to be with you, and I’m more than willing to fight for you.”

_You don’t have to fight for me. I’m done being complicated._

I wanted to say those words to him, but they wouldn’t come out. Instead, I practically threw myself into his arms and planted my lips on top of his. It felt like nothing else in the world mattered, that we were the only ones existing and that everything was finally going to be alright between us again.

The taste of his tongue was so familiar, and it made my heart ache with how happy it made me feel. I barely even noticed the tears that streamed down my cheeks until his hand brushed them away.

“I love you”, he whispered between kisses. “I don’t want to be separated from you again… I’m so sorry.”

As if my heart wasn’t beating fast enough, it felt like it was going to explode when I heard him say he loved me. It was the first time I’d ever heard him say it, and it felt weird at the same time as it made me happier than I’d been in weeks.

A needy whine escaped my throat as I grabbed the back of his shirt, clinging onto him almost desperately, as if I was afraid he’d disappear any second now and it’d all turn out to be a very cruel dream that I definitely didn’t need right now.

Just as I tried getting Byakuya to take his shirt off, he put both of his hands over mine before leaning closer. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this on your couch”, he whispered.

“Oh”, I said, suddenly feeling my cheeks heat up. He laughed a little before he suddenly decided to pick me up and carry me bridal style into the bedroom.

“Hey! Let me down, this is embarrassing”, I hissed, but he just smirked in response as he threw me onto the bed and then crawled on top of me. His lips quickly found mine again, as if they’d never left, as if they really belonged there. And I knew they did.

Just as I unbuttoned and got him out of his dress shirt, he stopped my hands, making me confused.

“What?”

“Maybe this is a bad idea after all. I mean… considering where we are”, he said.

“Oh.” Yeah, this wasn’t just _my_ bedroom… and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to take the risk. I decided against it, and put my hand on his chest and sat up beneath him.

“Let’s continue this at my place”, he murmured into my ear as I sat up, making a shiver run down from my neck down to my toes. “I’ll have Nakamura pick us up, he’s probably not too far away anyway.”

Byakuya separated himself from me to pick up his phone out of his pocket. While he made the phone call, I put my shirt back on and tried calming myself down, but it was incredibly difficult as I had a half-naked man sitting next to me acting like nothing was different.

“He’ll be here within five minutes”, he said as he hung up, and I turned my head to the side, facing him. “Oh, okay.”

His gaze wandered from my face down to my shirt, and he let out a disappointed sigh. “It’s a shame we weren’t already at my apartment.” Inching closer, he let an index finger run down my chest and down to my still hard cock. “It’ll be difficult to restrain myself.”

I flinched and felt that familiar blush spread in my cheeks. “You’ll have to, just like I do. You’ve probably already noticed that it’s not that easy for me, either. Not when you’re not fully dressed, and _definitely_ not when you’re doing… that.”

He snorted softly and took his hand off me to get dressed, and I silently mourned not getting to see his fantastic upper body for a while now that we were waiting for Nakamura.

It certainly felt strange; just an hour ago, I was still miserable and thought I was going to be single this Christmas once again — and then all of this happened. I almost had to pinch myself in the arm to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, because it just seemed so surreal after these weeks of not having seen or spoken to him.

“I need to bring my Christmas gifts over there in case I won’t have time to run back before dinner”, I said after a while, and he nodded slowly. “Good idea. You reminded me of something as well.”

He grabbed his phone again, dialled a number and put his phone up to his ear. I looked at him with an arched eyebrow, but decided to wait until he was done to ask what he was doing.

“Kirigiri? Hello. I know this is very late, and I’m aware you told me to contact you earlier, but is it still okay for me to impose on the Christmas dinner?”

She told him _what_? And when? Even more question marks appeared in my head as I stared at him in shock and disbelief. They must’ve talked, obviously — but when did they do that? Kyouko always came straight home from work unless she went out grocery shopping. Maybe that was when this happened?

“I’m glad to hear that, and I’m sorry to tell you this so late. Tell Asahina I said hi. We’ll be over at five. Yes, I know. See you then.”

Byakuya hung up and got up from the bed.

“What was that about?” I asked as I got up from the bed as well.

“Oh, nothing. I hope you don’t mind me joining you all for dinner?”

“No, but…” I wanted to ask so many things, but didn’t know how to phrase it all into one coherent sentence. I decided to let it wait until after dinner, or maybe the next day. The fact that there was going to be a next day for us was so relieving.

Eventually, we made our way down and sat in the limousine, letting silence fill the car as we rode back to Byakuya’s apartment. It would probably get even more difficult to cope with the situation if we tried to make conversation, and I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to hold myself back once I opened my mouth.

The five minutes we spent in the car felt like an hour. Luckily, there was no traffic going through town as most of it was probably out on the bigger roads outside town. I looked out the window and watched the few people who were still out walking along the pavements, probably on their way to spend Christmas with family and friends.

I thanked Nakamura as we got out of the limousine and we hurried inside the building as it was snowing quite heavily. Well, obviously that wasn’t our only reason, but it gave us an excuse to run inside.

As expected, we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other in the lift going up to the apartment. I almost dropped my bag of gifts right onto the floor as Byakuya started kissing down my neck and running his hand up my chest under the shirt.

“T-this is bad”, I wheezed between breaths, and he stopped what he was doing to look up at me. “What is?”

“ _This_ … I’m going to explode soon.”

“Ah. Well, that would be bad, since I haven’t really gotten to enjoy you properly yet.”

And with that, Byakuya stood up straight with a faint smirk on his lips, taking his hands off me. I still felt the warmth from his hands all over my upper body, and I couldn’t wait for us to get out of the lift and into his apartment where we’d no longer be hindered by anything.

Finally arriving on the forty-first floor, Byakuya walked out before me and unlocked the door on the opposite side of the lift. After placing the plastic bag of presents next to the door, I got out of my outerwear and shoes. Not even a second after I was done, I practically jumped straight into Byakuya’s arms, wasting no time.

“Someone’s eager”, he murmured into my ear and carried me into the bedroom.

“I haven’t seen you in weeks”, I replied breathily, and he kissed my neck in response, not saying anything on the matter — which made me realise that maybe it was a bad idea to bring that up. But since he didn’t say anything, I figured it was fine.

He put me down onto the bed and planted kisses along my jaw, down my throat and on my collarbones. We managed to wriggle out of our clothes (all of them, this time), and Byakuya reached over to his nightstand drawer where he kept the lube and condoms. My heart was beating loudly in my ears and my body felt incredibly hot — gladly we were still on top of the duvet.

As Byakuya was leaning over to the nightstand, I took the opportunity to pull down his zipper and take his cock in my hand. As I did, he let out a surprised gasp, but I ignored it. I knew very well that he’d try to protest, so I placed my free hand on his back so he couldn’t escape, while starting to work the hand that gripped his length.

“M-Makoto, what are you doing?”

“Don’t tell me you’re still oblivious as to what it is I’m doing”, I said, starting to move my hand up and down his girth.

“You don’t… have to do that”, he wheezed as I tightened my grip around the base, slowly moving my hand up and down. It was already easier to do thanks to the precum leaking out from the slit and down the side. He'd really been impatient.

“You’ve said that before, you know. But you won’t change my mind — I want to do it. So just shut up and take it.”

I could tell he wanted to say something in response, but in the end, he chose not to. So I went back to what I was doing, which made him moan silently. I still didn’t feel like I was good at what I was doing, but judging from Byakuya’s reactions, I was probably getting better.

His fingers twisted in my hair, and he let out a breathless moan, sounding like a mere whisper.

“I’m going to… come at this… rate”, Byakuya wheezed, and I took it as a sign to stop. I could feel that he was getting close, too, as his cock swelled up a bit in my hand.

“Why do you get so daring in bed?” he asked in a low voice, slightly out of breath.

“Is that bad?”

“No, that’s the thing. It’s way too good.”

Byakuya’s lips were on mine before I could think, and I noticed that he was putting the condom on at the same time. He impatiently pulled down my pants and underwear, and I proceeded to kick them off and down onto the floor.

“Not that I don’t like seeing them on you”, he breathed between kisses, “but they look good on the floor as well.”

I snorted softly. “That was so incredibly cheesy, I can’t believe it just came out of your mouth.”

He reached a hand under me and slowly pushed a finger inside. “I can use my mouth for other things, then — if that’s what you’d prefer.”

Jeez, this guy… Where’d he pick up such a lousy book with pick up lines?

I arched my back at the suddenly chilly sensation that entered me as Byakuya’s finger made its way in. I’d really missed this, the feeling of him, the feeling of his skin against mine. It had been far too long since I’d even seen his face, so I wanted to make sure that the first time in weeks would be a time I remembered for a long time afterwards.

Having prepared me enough, Byakuya pulled out and replaced his fingers with his cock which had gone slightly soft from the inactivity, but it hardened soon enough and I could feel it stretch me out from the inside as he started thrusting.

He took it slow, making sure that it wouldn’t hurt and that it wouldn’t end too quickly. If I could choose, I would make this moment last forever — but obviously that wasn’t an option as we had a Christmas dinner to attend to in a few hours. The thought of us spending our first Christmas together was exciting, and I couldn’t wait.

But first, I had our first love making session in weeks to pay attention to, and make sure I remembered every detail of. I traced my finger along Byakuya’s face; the bridge of his nose which didn’t hold up his glasses as it usually did, the outline of his cupid bow, his sharp jawline which always amazed me. He was perfect and I felt inadequate next to him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, suddenly stopping in his movements and leaving me hungry for more. I shook my head, smiling. “I just missed you, that’s all.”

Byakuya raised his eyebrows first, as if I hadn’t already told him this before, and then he returned the smile. “I see.”

He started up again, and I let my eyelids flutter shut as I surrendered to the pleasure that was surging through my entire body with each thrust. Cupping my face in his hands, Byakuya leaned closer, kissed me and let out a sigh. “I missed you, too, Makoto.”

The slight hint of pain in his voice was almost drowned out by the passion, but it was there and left a strange feeling inside me. He really had changed a lot in the time we had been dating, and the changes were still surprising me sometimes when I actually thought about it.

As we both got closer to climax, Byakuya sped up his rough thrusts and I threw my arms around his neck, biting my right arm so I wouldn’t scream. Doing so caused Byakuya to laugh, and he gently pushed my chin up.

“There’s no one else living on this floor. Shout all you can muster, I want to hear it.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “But that’s embarrassing.”

“Don’t be embarrassed, it’s just the two of us. What happened to your daring bedroom personality?”

I pouted, looking to the side as the embarrassment grew. “I just don’t want to risk having people come up and bang on the door because I can’t shut up.”

“Don’t worry so much”, he replied in a low voice before he started up again. This time, I decided to trust him and let go of everything — just let it all out and let him know just how much I had missed him and how he made me feel.

Each and every thrust had me moaning louder as I got closer, and as he suddenly placed his hands on my cheeks to kiss me roughly, I placed my hands over his.

“I forgot to tell you”, I whispered. “I love you, too. I really do.”

He looked at me in surprise, and then smiled. “I’m glad.”

It seemed to have spurred him on as he put more force into his thrusts, but it could also just be because he was getting close as well. I dug my nails into Byakuya’s back, tilted my head back and screamed as I reached climax, seeing stars in front of my eyes and feeling the chills run down from my head to my toes.


	25. Christmas celebrations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ **Long rant coming up!** ]
> 
> FIrst off, I really want to apologise for neglecting this fic for a while now. This fic is something I've been working on for such a long time that I can't really remember when I started it, but it was well over a year ago, for sure. Whenever I start out a fic idea, they tend to go on for a while and I can squeeze out a bunch of chapters all in once. And then after a while I realise I've been doing something horribly wrong. In this fic, it's about Byakuya's character. I started trying to write him as closely to canon as I could, but I've realised how far away from canon I've gotten and it's kind of discouraged me a bit, I suppose.
> 
> I really love Byakuya Togami as a character. I know a lot of people don't because of the way he treats people (especially Fukawa, yes) and because of the way he sees the world and the people around him. But that's the thing that made me find him so interesting. He was this arrogant prick who thought he was better than everyone else and always had a truckload of snarky comments to fire off at anyone who even tried talking to him.
> 
> But then Sakura sacrificed herself and _that's when he began to change_. And from that point on, he just got way more interesting and even softened up a little (very evident just before they leave Hope's Peak and he says the others can come talk to him if they're in trouble — and then he adds the part where 'whether I'll be willing to help is another issue' which is just part of that tsundere thing buried deep within him).
> 
>  **TL;DR** : I'm realising how much I dislike the way Byakuya turned out in this fic and I'm guessing it's too late to fix after 20+ chapters, but I'm gonna try and finish it anyway.

“I really missed this, you know.”

“Me too.”

I rested my head on Byakuya’s chest, coming down off the high post-sex. He softly ran his fingers through my hair, which he seemed to really like doing, and we just enjoyed being near each other again after all these painfully long weeks.

“As much as I _have_ missed it, though, we really should start getting ready for tonight. I need a shower, as well.”

I lauged a little and sat up. “Yeah, you’re right. Come on then.”

We ended up taking a shower together, and I felt like I never wanted to let him go. I spent most of the time in the shower just peppering Byakuya with kisses, and gladly he didn’t seem to mind it.

As I probably should’ve expected, Byakuya’s bag of gifts was considerably more packed than mine, but at the same time it made me happy to see that he’d actually taken the time to get all of them for us. I stared at it as I came back into the bedroom to get changed, and he laughed at my reaction.

“What?”

“No, it’s just… there’s a _lot_ in there.”

He eyed the bag quickly and shrugged before turning to his wardrobe. “I guess. Why, is that a bad thing? Did I go overboard?”

“Ah, no — I mean, it’s just that I feel like maybe I didn’t buy enough stuff. Comparing my tiny bag with the huge one you have, well… it’s a very notable difference.”

 “It’s not the quantity that matters”, Byakuya reminded me with a sigh. “I promise that I didn’t spend too much money on it. Kirigiri’s birthday present was probably the most extravagant I would ever do, anyway.”

So he said, but it didn’t exactly make me any less nervous about what I’d get from him.

After both getting ready, Nakamura picked us up and drove to Aoi's house. Well, I say Aoi's house, but it was really Yasu's now, too. Force of habit, I guess. I was almost attacked by an over-excited Aoi who opened the door for us, and even Byakuya received a very strong hug from her.

"I'm glad you came. But you could've let me know a little sooner, you know", she said with a glare directed at him. Byakuya raised an eyebrow, but smiled a little as he couldn't really keep up his façade. "Sorry about that. Thank you for letting me come despite the short notice."

She shrugged. "The more the merrier. Besides, Makoto would've just been depressed if you weren't around, so I kinda had to."

"Hey, that's—"

Aoi waved her hands dismissively in front of her. "I'm joking, Makoto. Don't just stand there, come in! Wow, you guys sure brought a lot."

The two of us took our coats and shoes off before stepping into the hallway and following Aoi into the living room. The smell of ham filled my nostrils and I felt my stomach let out a very low rumble, reminding me that I hadn't had much to eat so far that day.

We put all of our gifts under the Christmas tree among everyone else's, and the already big pile got enormous when we stepped back to take a look at it.

"To think we're only five people, and we have enough gifts for two other families."

"Three, even."

I crumpled my bag up in my hands. "How's dinner going? Do you need any help?"

Aoi shook her head. "We're fine. Sit down, relax — we're almost done, anyway."

So, reluctantly, Byakuya and I sat down on the couch and conversed with Yasuhiro while the girls finished preparing dinner in the kitchen. I couldn't help but constantly be on my toes whenever Yasuhiro and Byakuya talked to each other, thinking that maybe one of them was going to say something that would bring up that old conflict from weeks ago again. But it didn't happen, and I could finally relax and just have a normal conversation with the both of them.

I was glad to know Yasuhiro seemed to have gotten used to the idea of me and Byakuya dating, and it made me even happier that he was able to just be around us. I'd heard horror stories of families completely cutting ties with a family member who came out as gay or bisexual. I didn't understand what was so wrong with it, and why it was so unnatural for a person to love someone of the same sex. I wanted to believe that my parents would be okay with it, but I wasn't actually sure of how they'd react.

 _Not that I have a way of telling them now_. A knot formed in my stomach, and I took a few deep breaths to keep myself from crying and crumbling apart on that couch. I would've at least wanted them to meet him, if just once. I didn't think about them nowadays as much as I used to, but whenever I did, the immense pain and realisation that I'd never get my family back nearly tore my heart apart every time.

"Makoto? Are you alright?"

I flinched, being yanked back to reality by Byakuya's voice. I turned my head to face him and my eyes met his worried ones. "Ah, sorry — I'm fine", I said and tried putting on a reassuring smile. "I was just thinking about something."

"Okay", Byakuya said, but there was a hint of disbelief in his voice.

We were called into the dining room a few minutes later, and upon walking in, we were met with more dishes on one table than I thought was possible. Aoi had cooked a few American traditional Christmas dishes and combined them with Japanese desserts and sweets, making it a very unique dinner table, to say the least.

 

*

 

Dinner proceeded with lots of chatter, laughter and reminiscing on old times. When we thought back on it, the five of us really had been through it all. And not just the dark days of our last year at Hope's Peak, but everything before and after it, as well. Our time at the Future Foundation, helping to save our seniors from the virtual hell that AI Junko had imprisoned them in, and helping them re-adjust to society.

"Has anyone been in contact with the Jabberwock kids, by the way?" Aoi asked before stuffing some ham into her mouth. Kyouko shrugged. "Not since we left the Future Foundation, no. I've heard some things about them and how they're doing, but not much else. Apparently a few of the comatose students have woken up."

"What?! Why didn't you say this sooner?" I asked, not being able to keep the surprise out of my voice. She smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry; I didn't find the right moment to tell you, and then I kind of just forgot. They're all fine, though, they just need a little more time. We'll probably see them around soon."

"Well, it's a good thing it's going well for them. I still think they'll all be able to wake up and start living... well, at least  _somewhat_ normally again", Aoi said, and I couldn't have agreed more. We'd had our fair share of difficulties with coming back to society as well after having escaped Hope's Peak, and I imagined it to be incredibly tough on those who were trapped on the virtual reality Jabberwock Islands as well.

With dinner over and gone from the table, we proceeded to exchange and open gifts in the living room. The huge pile under the Christmas tree was divided into smaller bunches, and the Santa for the evening was Aoi, who started giving out gifts.

"Alright, first gift", Aoi said as she picked up a random one from one of the piles in front of her, "... is from Yasu to Kyouko!"

Kyouko got up from her pillow on the floor and took the gift from Aoi. As she sat down, all eyes in the room were on her as she opened the first gift. She looked around her and frowned a little.

"You guys look like I've just opened a pack of gum and you want a piece", she said.

"What if it  _is_  chewing gum? What if it's a box with smaller packs of gum inside?" Aoi mused with a smile, and Kyouko rolled her eyes as she started tearing the paper apart to open the box. Soon enough, she pulled out a red sweater, a white knitted hat and a gift card for a shop downtown.

"I never really know what to get for girls", Yasuhiro admitted, scratching the back of his head. "I hope you like it, though."

Kyouko smiled one of her very rare smiles as she got up to hug him. "I do. Thank you so much."

The gift exchange continued, and by the end of it, I'd gotten a blue canary night light and thick, woollen socks from Kyouko, a hotel gift card for the New Years weekend from Aoi and Yasuhiro to both myself and Byakuya, and the last gift was a mystery book and Shepherd slippers from Byakuya. He mumbled something about being sorry for not giving me anything too extravagant, and that he hadn't done it because he knew how much I didn't like that he spent so much money on me.

"It's fine", I said and smiled reassuringly. "It's the thought behind the gift that counts, really. Not that my gift to you was that much more expensive, anyway."

I'd only gotten him a few new of those green cross-ties he loved so much, and a new bath robe (apparently we thought alike when it came to getting each other bedroom attire). I had no idea what I would get him, and whenever I'd asked him what he wanted, he just shrugged and told me I didn't need to get him anything. So maybe I didn't  _need_ to, but that didn't mean I didn't  _want_ to.

Byakuya sighed, but a small smirk appeared on his lips anyway. "I see your point. As long as you like it."

"Yeah, I do."

"Hey, lovebirds, do all of that stuff when you're  _alone_ ", Yasuhiro interrupted, and Aoi laughed as the two of them did a high-five. I couldn't help but blush and look away in embarrassment.

 

*

 

Having done the gift exchange, we played some video games for a while (Byakuya watched — he still didn't quite understand the appeal of video games — and when it had gotten pitch black outside, the three of us who didn't live there decided it was probably about time to leave. Things had gone in a similar manner to the year before, but the obvious addition was Byakuya, and it had made Christmas so much more special for me.

"Thank you so much for everything", Kyouko said as she hugged Aoi in the hallway. We'd all gotten dressed and were ready to get out into the cold and go home, and I wasn't looking forward to taking even just one step out into the snow. I was properly dressed, sure — but that definitely wouldn't stop me from still being cold, somehow.

"Oh no, you're welcome. Thank  _you_ as well. I'm glad we made this a tradition. Hopefully we'll be able to keep it going for a few years."

"I'm sure we will. I'd just hate to put the entire burden on you guys next year as well."

Aoi waved dismissively with one hand. "It's fine, I really don't mind it. Besides, I'm not doing  _everything_ myself; you helped quite a lot, too. Maybe next year we'll have the boys help, hmm?"

The three of us were just about to start protesting loudly, but the girls laughed. "I'm kidding. Like I said, I don't mind it. You're all welcome next year as well", Aoi said, clapping Byakuya on the shoulder, who still looked a little miffed at her comment.

After the hugging fest was over, Kyouko, Byakuya and I left and started walking home in the pitch dark, cold winter weather. Each of us carried a bag with our gifts in them, but I still had one hand free to hold onto Byakuya's. He'd been a little reluctant about it at first, but after a bit of persuading and begging, I'd gotten him to agree to holding hands while we walked home.

We walked Kyouko back to the apartment, said goodbye and continued to our own. Well, I say  _our_ apartment, but I still didn't fully live there; I still had a bunch of stuff at the apartment I shared with Kyouko. I still didn't know what to do about that, and I frankly wanted to put off the issue for as far as I could, but knew that it probably wasn't a good idea as it would only create problems in the end.

I looked out over the park as we passed it and let out a sigh. It had been a long and very eventful year, and it was soon going to end. I had a vague idea what I wanted to try and accomplish in the coming year, but it meant I would have to either rely on Byakuya's help or take out loans. And I was pretty sure he wouldn't let me choose the second option.

Byakuya stopped walking, and as we were holding hands, I did, too. I turned to him. "What's wrong?"

"I should ask you that", he replied. "You've been a bit off the entire night. Like your mind's been somewhere else. And don't tell me it's nothing, because I know that's not true."

I glanced to the side. There were still a few people outside walking past us, even though it was close to midnight. I didn't want to have this conversation out there where others could hear, and definitely not when we could go inside where we wouldn't have to be cold.

"Can we take this when we come home?" I asked, and Byakuya sighed.

"Fine."

We walked home in silence and I stared down at the ground for the most part. I didn't know how to put my worries into words without making it sound like I  _didn't_ want to live with him, because that was far from the truth. In reality, I would've loved to officially move in right away, but there was still that one person who made me hesitate. She obviously meant a lot to me, too, which was why I couldn't just leave her behind because I had a boyfriend. Kyouko was my best friend, after all.

Coming back to the apartment, the silence continued as we took our coats and shoes off. Byakuya turned on the lights and went on ahead, and soon enough, I heard him scramble about in the kitchen.

 _Hot chocolate, maybe_ , I thought to myself, and I couldn't help but smile. It was something he'd made that one time when we had a long talk all those months ago before we even started dating. It's funny how I had yet to associate the hot chocolate thing with these negative talks; it still somehow brought a smile to my lips. Maybe it was because it still felt so out of character for Byakuya, that it was an unusual but endearing thing of him to do.

I decided to leave him to it and just go straight into the living room and wait instead of following him into the kitchen, because I didn't want to just awkwardly stand around there, and I definitely didn't want to start talking about it there, either.

A few minutes later, Byakuya emerged from the kitchen with two mugs, like I had predicted. He set one down in front of me and then his own right next to mine before he sat down.

"Figured you might want some", he mumbled. "It's cold out, after all."

I smiled. "It's perfect. Thanks."

I brought my mug to my lips and blew on my chocolate before taking a sip. Just like last time, delicious and not too sweet. But of course, that was probably because Byakuya didn't like sweet things to begin with. Letting the liquid warm me up for a bit, I finally set the mug down on the coffee table again and — even though I was nervous — turned to face Byakuya.

"I've been thinking a lot about the thing you offered earlier", I said.

Byakuya tilted his head in confusion. "Which one?"

"About... me moving in with you. Properly, that is."

"Oh. What about it? Are you saying you don't want to?"

I shook my head, having known very well that this was something he'd inevitably ask. I wasn't very good with words, and often created misunderstandings. This was just one of many I'd made during the time I'd dated Byakuya, and knowing myself — it probably wouldn't be the last one I'd make, either.

"No, that's not it. I'm just thinking about Kyouko. I feel bad, because I don't want to leave her behind. I feel like I'm betraying her or something."

Byakuya regarded me for a bit while he drank from his hot chocolate. "I think you worry too much. Now, of course, I don't know her very well — so I can't say this is for certain. But while I do think she might feel a little sad about it, I don't think she'd mind. I know she wants you to be happy, and if... if you're happy with me, I don't think she'd be opposed to the idea."

Detecting the slightest hint of a blush on his cheeks as he looked away, I took his hand in mine and laughed a little. "Maybe you're right. I guess it's just in my nature to not want to hurt other people's feelings to the point where I just... end up pushing other problems away. I think I've always been like that."

"I suppose you have", Byakuya agreed. "But no matter how much you hate to hear it, it's all up to you in the end. You can take my word for it or talk to her again about this, but it's not going to change that fact. You have to make the decision and not let others to it for you. Hell, if I were to choose, I'd have you move in right away. But as it isn't..."

He gestured with his hand, and I understood what he meant. It was completely up to me, and I knew Kyouko had told me that she wouldn't mind it. All I had to do was to come to terms with it, and to make a decision. Put myself first, for once. It might sound easy, but it was anything but.

"I know you're right", I said and sighed in resignation. "I'll talk to her about it first thing tomorrow. Well... after breakfast, of course."

Byakuya raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure? So... what's your answer?"

I smiled again and scooted closer, reaching up to kiss him on the cheek. "I want to move in with you, of course."

He laughed through his nose and put his arms around me. "I'm glad to hear that."


	26. A significant step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto talks to Kyouko about his future plans, and New Years is just around the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has taken me far too long and I apologise. I blame procrastination, lack of motivation and a buttload of uni assignments. Thankfully I'm on spring break now, so I've had some time to compose this chapter. Better late than never... maybe.

I had breakfast at Byakuya's apartment before I headed back to my own. Kyouko was probably at home since she didn't have work, so I knew I'd be able to talk to her that day. Not that I really wanted to; I almost wanted to run away from it and escape conflicts like I always did. But I'd learnt it the hard way that it'd only come back and bite me in the end, so as much as I dreaded the upcoming discussion, I knew I had to do it.

Byakuya tried telling me that it'd all go well and that I probably didn't have anything to worry about, but I just felt like he tried to be optimistic and not  _realistic_. I'd had a big argument with Kyouko before, and that hadn't gone all too well, ending up with us being close to mortal enemies for weeks. I'd always been terrified of conflicts and avoided confrontations like the plague, but in later years I'd come to realise that it was necessary to deal with them in order to solve problems and move forward.

"Call me when you've talked to her", Byakuya said as I was just about to head outside. I nodded slowly.

"Yeah."

"Makoto. Stop worrying, think positive thoughts. Don't overthink it, that'll just make things worse. It's nothing like that one time you had an argument, this is completely different. So don't worry before you're actually there and  _if_ things get bad."

I managed a little smile. "Since when did you become such an optimist?"

"Oh, shut it", he replied and pouted. I laughed a little and grabbed the front of his shirt to get on my toes and kiss him.

"I'll call you later, I promise. See you soon."

"Good."

I was about to tell him I loved him, but ultimately decided against it. It was still a pretty new thing for us, well — at least for him, so I didn't want to risk overwhelming him or coming off as super-clingy. And god knows I definitely didn't need yet another thing to weigh heavy on my mind right now.

Having left the apartment, I went down in the elevator and into the limousine to have Nakamura drive me. I still didn't like the whole idea of having people do these things for me, but both Nakamura and Byakuya insisted that it was fine; Byakuya paid him to do so, anyway. It had been a part of his lifestyle to have people work for him during his entire life, so of course, this was natural for Byakuya. But obviously, not for me.

"Please feel free to call me if you want me to pick you up later, Makoto-sama", Nakamura said as he opened the door and I stepped out into the cold winter air again.

"Okay, thank you", I said, but secretly thought to myself that I probably wouldn't. Still, that thing with ordering people around... it still didn't sit well with me, even if other people were more than willing to do it, I could never bring myself to do so even if I was encouraged to.

As he drove off, I carefully walked up the steps to the apartment so as to not slip and fall, and prepared myself with a slow inhale before I unlocked and opened the door. The hallway and living room was lit up as I came in, and I saw Kyouko on the couch. She waved in my direction as she heard the door close, but didn't look my way.

"Welcome back", she said. "I didn't think you'd be back so soon."

I took my coat and shoes off before I stepped inside with a shiver. It was still very cold outside, and we probably had another three months left of winter before things started defrosting and getting warmer again. This whole concept of there always being a winter every year was something I'd gotten tired of years ago, but obviously wasn't something I could change unless I moved abroad. Once again, when walking in deep snow, freezing and constantly worrying about slipping and falling, the idea of moving to a warmer country was incredibly tempting.

Of course, I didn't have the finances to do so. I knew  _someone_ did, and probably wouldn't be too opposed to the idea, which was part of the reason I never even mentioned it. Moving in with Byakuya was going to be a big enough step for me, moving to another  _country_ would be far too huge of a change. I wasn't anywhere near ready to leave everything behind, even though 'everything' right now just consisted of my friends and co-workers.

"Yeah, well — we spend a lot of time together, Byakuya and I. I don't think it's necessary for me to be with him all the time. We need our time apart, too", I replied as I sat down on the couch next to her. Kyouko gave me and incredulous look.

"I'm surprised you say that after all that's happened in the past few weeks."

"I know, I know — but... well, that's kind of... what I wanted to talk to you about, actually."

She sat up straight and turned off the TV. "This sounds serious. I didn't know you wanted to talk."

"I should've told you before I came home, huh", I said with a little laugh. "Sorry to surprise you. Is it okay?"

Kyouko waved dismissively. "It's fine, what's up?"

I know Byakuya told me it was probably going to be fine, and I didn't really think she'd yell at me or anything — but there was still that one part of me that told me things  _could_ go very wrong, and that she'd take it the wrong way. Like I didn't want to live with her anymore, or something like that. Which definitely wasn't the case, and I'd been very torn on the subject for a while now for that very reason that I had indeed liked living with her for almost two years now.

But I had reached a stage in my life now that I'd finally gotten the love of my life back in the picture, he reciprocated my feelings and we began dating. Most people would've probably seen us moving together as an inevitable next step in our relationship, but I thought that it would take some time still. I had been wrong, and now I was faced with having to tell my best friend that I'd move out of our apartment to move in with my boyfriend instead because of this change in my life.

"I've been talking to Byakuya a lot about... me moving in with him. After a lot of consideration and thinking, I decided that I... want to move in with him. I really hope this doesn't upset you, because I've been really torn in my decision-making. I don't want you to think I'm leaving you behind or anything, it's just—"

"Makoto, please, calm down", Kyouko interrupted, laughing. "I'm glad for you, it was about time. Really, you don't have to worry about me. I was kind of expecting this to happen between you two eventually, and although I am surprised it came this soon, I'm not upset."

"Really?"

She rolled her eyes, still smiling. "Yes! Jeez, you're such a worrywort."

I bit my lower lip, thinking about how to formulate my next question. We had just recently become friends again after that one falling-out we had, so I felt like our friendship was still fragile, and that we needed some time to heal it. This had been one of the things that made me hesitate on saying yes to Byakuya's suggestion in the first place; the fear of losing Kyouko had been far too big after that one time we fought, and this time wasn't much easier.

"Are you sure? I really want you to tell me the truth and not hide it behind a smile or anything like that. Unlike you, I'm terrible at reading people, so I can't tell. I just don't want this to become something that'll eventually explode and we'll have an argument again."

Kyouko shook her head. She placed a hand on my head and leaned it against her shoulder. "I really am glad for you, Makoto. Sure, it's going to be a little empty without you living here, but it's nothing I can't get used to. Besides, I hope you're not planning on  _completely_ shutting me out of your life when you move in with him, so I hope we can still at least spend time together from time to time."

I flinched. "Of course not! I want this to work, for us to keep things the way they are despite me living with Byakuya. I know we'll have to try harder to fit in 'us-time' in our schedules now that we won't live together anymore, but that doesn't mean I won't try."

She laughed a short laugh through her nose. "Good. And same here, of course. We'll make it work. Don't worry so much, and don't think about all the things we've had in the past, because that's obviously going to make you hesitant on moving forward. Don't look back, just look forward. I'm still here."

 

*

 

Friday was the last day of work for the year, so Aoi and I decided to make the bread a little more festive than usual that morning, baking them in different shapes and making a few more than usual. Hopefully, we'd get a little more customers today than usual, that's at least what we were going for, which was why we made more bread. Otherwise we could just take the rest of it with us home, which was fine by me.

We opened up shop at eight like usual, and Morinaga came in to help around nine. The hours before lunch time were always the slowest, so we didn't have much to do except for taking down stuff from the shelves that's gone out of date and just sit around, waiting for customers to come in. Lunch break came after what felt like half an eternity, and when we came back from it, things finally started happening.

Aoi and I took turns standing behind the cash register, the other occasionally going out to help a confused customer, while Morinaga spent most of his time in the little office next to the kitchenette. We'd noticed he seemed distant and sometimes even distressed these past few days, both Aoi and I — but we didn't want to say anything in case it wasn't anything big or maybe we were overthinking things. I wanted to ask Takayama and the others to see if they'd noticed it, too, but also wanted to wait and see how things went during the next little bit.

"Maybe he's getting a divorce", Aoi mumbled to me. We both sat down behind the cash register with our backs against the wall as the amount of customers had died down for a bit. I shrugged.

"That might be it, but I feel like it's something else. I think he'd seem a little more sad if that were the case. He just seems like his mind is elsewhere, you know?"

"Yeah", Aoi agreed. "Hopefully it isn't anything super serious."

Continuing the last few hours with Morinaga in the office the entire time, things went by pretty smoothly. We'd gotten used to working just the two of us, so even after Matsuoka had gotten fired, there wasn't much of a difference. Aoi and I were a great team, being able to cooperate very well without any arguments or anything. We didn't really  _have_ anything to argue about.

Sure, we'd had a few times where we'd gotten into somewhat of an argument — the most memorable one being when she told me Byakuya was back — but we were really good friends, that's what it came down to. We agreed on most everything, much like myself and Kyouko, and it made it almost too easy to work with her. I owed a lot to her for keeping me together after Byakuya left and we started working at the minimart. At first, I just saw it as a distraction and a way to keep myself and Kyouko from getting kicked out of our flat, but it quickly became something I actually enjoyed doing, even though I had to get up at ungodly hours on the days I was on baking duty.

Despite how things had gone after he left, and how much of an emotional rollercoaster this past year had been even with him back in my life, I wouldn't have done it differently. Having the support of Aoi and Kyouko when I felt down was even more than I could've ever asked for. I often wondered if I even deserved such good friends, what I'd done to deserve them. Aoi told me once that she considered me to be the glue that held us all together, and that things wouldn't have been this way had I not been the way I was.

"I mean it in a good way", she'd clarified back then. "You kept us from losing hope back in high school, and you were the one to ultimately pull off the whole ordeal with getting the Jabberwock kids out of that terrible situation. So don't say you haven't done anything that isn't worth commending. You're seriously the best friend one could ever have, Makoto. Have a little more confidence in yourself."

And even if it was difficult, I tried. I knew we saw things from different perspectives, and that we'd always at least disagree on those things, if anything. I felt the same way she felt about me, that she was an amazing and irreplaceable friend who'd done so much for me these past few years  **—** but obviously she couldn't see those things and agree. Aoi may have had good self-confidence, but that was one thing she'd never been able to see in herself. She'd been pretty much the same back at Hope's Peak, too, saying that she hadn't been of much use whenever we had to investigate the school after a murder had taken place.

We all had our issues, but I knew that we could overcome them one day if we just stuck together. And from what I could see, I could say with confidence that we'd stay together for a long time. We'd forged very strong bonds in the years we'd spent together, both in school, at the Future Foundation and afterwards, but life had yet to truly begin for us.

After work hours, Aoi and I went to the back to get changed and head back home. This weekend, I was going to start the process of moving in with Byakuya, taking my stuff over there bit by bit. Byakuya and I had talked to Kyouko about the rent of the flat she'd now live alone in, and after some convincing, she'd let both me and Byakuya pay for the other half of it so that it wouldn't get more expensive for her just because I'd moved out. Getting a new apartment for herself would also be difficult, so we figured it was best if she just stayed in the same place for now.

"Could you guys stay for just a few minutes? I need to talk to you. Both. Well, I want to wait until the others arrive, but it won't take long."

Morinaga emerged from his office and walked up to us. Aoi and I exchanged confused glances, and I shrugged. "I'm not in a hurry, so it's fine by me."

"Same here. Is there something wrong?"

"Well, that's—"

"Yoo-hoo! Oh, Naegi-kun, Aoi-chan, you're still here?"

Takayama walked in through the door along with Shimazaki and Fujishima, her eyebrows shooting up upon seeing us still inside. I nodded and smiled.

"Hey. Yeah, apparently the manager has something he has to talk to us all about."

"Really? Sounds serious", Fujishima said, taking her coat off. "What about the shop?"

Morinaga nodded. "I'm closing it for a little while so we won't have to deal with that while I talk to you guys. It's fine."

The way he talked made me all the more worried, and I was sure I wasn't alone in feeling that way. I glanced at Aoi, and she was wearing a visible frown on her face, confirming my suspicions.

We all followed Morinaga into his office, all but him standing up as he sat down on his office chair. He cleared his throat, but his gaze never faltered, it was constantly going between all five of us.

"I'm not good with stalling things, so I'm just going to get straight to the point. We have to close down the minimart, because there's no way we can keep it open the way things are going right now."

The air around us suddenly felt heavy, and I wondered if I could actually physically touch it if I stretched out my hand. I didn't dare look at anyone else, so I kept my eyes fixated on Morinaga as he spoke. I had kind of expected this to happen, so I thought I was prepared — but when he actually said it, I realised how unprepared I really was.

"Don't worry, though, we'll keep open until the end of January. Though, that might not sound like a lot of time, and if so, I apologise. We've struggled financially for a while, and I'm sure you've all at least suspected this would happen soon."

I wasn't going to deny it, of course I had. We rarely had days where there were a lot of customers, and ended up just sitting around for the majority of the day. The highlight was Fridays, but for it to just be one day of the week where we got in a lot of money was obviously not going to be enough to keep us afloat. Even if we had suspected that this would happen, the reality hit me so hard I almost found it unbelievable.

We'd worked there for nearly two years and it had become like home, so of course it was difficult to deal with. I just hoped that we'd be able to find jobs soon, because I knew I wouldn't be able to go at home doing nothing for too long.

 

*

 

"Hurry up, or we'll miss the fireworks!"

"Jeez, we can only run so fast. It's not fair, you're the athletic one of us."

Aoi was obviously ahead of us as she ran up the hill to the best viewpoint in town. We'd originally planned on being there early, but being us, we still ended up arriving in the last minute. We didn't even have time to visit the shrine and get our fortunes, that's how late we were. That luck I was supposed to have didn't seem to extend everywhere, but I was glad it wasn't anything more serious than us just running late for a New Years celebration.

We managed to get decent spots — though not the ones I would've preferred — and stood in the cold waiting for the fireworks display to start. I rubbed my gloved hands together to try and warm up my frozen fingers, but it didn't really work. Byakuya noticed my pathetic attempt and took my hands between his and blew hot air on them.

"Better?"

"Yeah", I said and smiled. "Thanks."

We'd both gotten over that whole 'public display of affection' issue and just stopped caring whenever people stared at us. I didn't mind them looking, because I didn't see any shame in dating Byakuya. It seemed like he had the same opinion, and it made me feel really happy.

Aoi and Yasuhiro were huddled together, and Kyouko stood by herself. I felt a little bad, so I separated myself from Byakuya to stand with her for a while. We only had about a week left as cohabitants, and I wanted to make the best out of that time as I could, spending time with her while I was still able to. It wasn't that we weren't going to be able to hang out whenever I moved out, but it would certainly be a lot more difficult.

"Can't believe this year's already over", I said through a sigh, watching the air turn into condensed smoke.

"Yeah, I know. A lot's happened, though."

"It has. I just hope next year's going to be a little less eventful."

She laughed. "I can see why you want that. But hey, it all turned out fine in the end, didn't it?"

"Yeah... I guess it did. Thanks. I mean, for always being there for me."

"Likewise, Makoto. I'm glad we sorted things out."

I pulled her in for a hug and smiled even though she couldn't see it. It had indeed been quite a year for pretty much all of us, in a both good and bad sense. But, like she said, it had turned out fine in the end. And despite the experiences having been tough on me, I was glad that they led me to where I was at that moment. I'd come out a little stronger — at least that's what I'd like to believe.

We separated just in time to see the first round of fireworks, and I felt a hand grab my wrist and drag me away from Kyouko. I didn't have to see who it was, because the other two were busy making out. Soon enough, I found myself being lift up, much to my chagrin, and Byakuya kissed me.

"Happy new year, Makoto", he murmured.

I smiled and put my forehead against his. "Happy new year. I love you."

"... I love you, too."

 

*

 

"Well, that didn't take very long."

"I told you so. I never saw you as the kind of person who keeps a lot of things."

I looked at the now empty boxes I had brought with me from my former apartment. There had only been four of them, and I'd actually managed to fit pretty much everything I owned in them, even my clothes. Well, I'd never had much of an interest in clothes to begin with, so that might explain it. I'd convinced Kyouko to keep everything that had to do with the furniture and other decorations in the apartment, since I obviously wouldn't need them where I'd move next. All I really needed was my clothes and personal belongings, and apparently, it had all fit into four cardboard boxes.

"I guess you're right", I said with a little laugh. "Well... I guess that makes it official."

"I suppose so", Byakuya said. He shrugged and turned around to walk into the kitchen, but not before I'd detected a very faint but still noticeable blush on his cheeks.

I smiled as I walked up to and hugged him from behind, after which he flinched. "I look forward to living with you, Byakuya."

He relaxed a little and sighed. "I look forward to living with you, too, Makoto."

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. I won't have a job as of next month."

"What?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... and the next chapter will be the last. It'll be the epilogue, finishing up this story. Man, it's been such a long time. Far longer than it's been published on AO3, and I can't believe I'm actually finishing it. It's kind of emotional, hahaha. Look forward to the next update!


	27. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months have passed since Makoto and Aoi were laid off their job at the minimart. This is the epilogue, where we find out what the five of them are up to now, and what their plans are for the future.

**Six months later: June**.

\--------------------

 

"Jeez, you're late as usual", Kyouko said with disapproval written all over her face. I stopped in front of her to give her a hug and offer an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, I missed the first bus."

"Where's your other half?"

I frowned, but couldn't stop the blush that crept onto my cheeks shortly after. "Don't call him that. He said he'll meet us there, he got held back at the office."

Kyouko raised an eyebrow. "And I used to be the one who worked later than both of you. Funny how things changed, huh."

"Yeah", I said and laughed.

After the minimart had closed down, Aoi and I started looking for jobs like there was no tomorrow. Technically there was, especially for me who lived with a guy who was probably still the richest guy in Japan, but both her and I felt like we couldn't just stop working.  We'd gotten lucky; in the end, Morinaga had given us the contact details to a friend of his, who owned a much bigger supermarket in the more central part of town. I quite liked the whole idea of working in shops like those, and since we already had about two years of experience, it didn't take us long to get into it.

Both Byakuya and I had concluded, after a long talk, that we wouldn't pursue further education. At least not right now. I didn't know what I wanted to study, and Byakuya obviously wanted to stay in the field he was already in, having all of the experience and knowledge from having been part of the Togami conglomerate for his entire life. For now, it was a plan that worked out perfectly for us, as we both had similar work hours and always had dinner together in the evenings.

Kyouko still worked at her father's private investigating firm, but had gained a much more significant position which required less time out on the field and more time in the office. While she didn't approve of the whole 'sitting in a chair all day' kind of lifestyle, she admitted that it was kind of nice not having to go out there all the time. Besides, she said it would worry me less, but I didn't really think that was an actual reason. Not that it didn't make me relieved; it was a good thing to know she no longer spent most of her days wielding a weapon and hunting criminals.

We walked to Aoi's and Yasuhiro's house in the dry summer heat, and I caught myself wishing it wasn't that hot before I thought of how it could be worse — it could be winter. So I coped with the heat and tried telling myself to enjoy the summer while it lasted, since it'd probably be gone before I knew it, and I'd be back in the cold, icy and snowy winter I struggle through every year.

"Hey, glad you could make it!"

Yasuhiro was the one to open the door and let us in, and we were soon enough attack-hugged by Aoi who came down from the stairs as we walked in. It didn't take very long from when we sat down in the living room to when Byakuya finally showed up — I'd guess it was about five minutes or so — and then we were all gathered in said living room. We hadn't been told exactly what the two of them so desperately wanted us all there for, but I guessed we were about to find out. I could see excitement plastered all over Aoi's features, and Yasuhiro seemed more cheerful than usual, even. Which I didn't even think was possible.

"So? What's going on?" Byakuya prompted, leaning back against the couch and folding his hands in his lap. He looked as elegant as ever in his suit attire, yes, but I still found myself thinking I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible to take his clothes off and pin him to our bed. However, I disregarded the thought quickly as I knew I wouldn't be able to focus if it lingered, and I turned my attention to Aoi and Yasuhiro.

Aoi and Yasuhiro exchanged glances, smiling at each other fondly, when it clicked for me. Just as it did, Aoi's left hand shot out in front of her.

"We're getting married!"

Even though I'd just figured it out, I couldn't help but let my jaw drop at the announcement. I knew they were stupidly in love, and they'd been together for a while — but for some reason, marriage had never really crossed my mind when it came to them. Maybe it was because marriage in my own case was completely ruled out unless I were to get married in another country. Not that we wouldn't be able to, considering Byakuya's ridiculous fortune, but still. It wouldn't be the same.

And despite all those things, I wasn't sure if I'd want to get married. If even  _Byakuya_ wanted to. We were twenty years old, and it felt a little early to commit to such a thing. We'd never even discussed it, or as much as mentioned it in a hypothetical sense between us, and to be honest, I was a little scared to bring it up. Not because I thought it'd break us up, but put unnecessary worries in his head that might stress him out.

I had no doubts in his love for me, but I wasn't sure of how sensitive some things were to talk about for him. He certainly wasn't the first person you'd think of when thinking about commitment, but he'd definitely come a long way from the way he'd been just a year earlier. Back then, I was absolutely certain he only wanted me just because he was bored and he needed someone to waste his time with. A year later, and the mere thought of it was ridiculous. It's funny how things can change that drastically within a year, really.

 

*

 

Of course, Aoi and Yasuhiro had prepared with champagne for us to celebrate their engagement with. Byakuya had wrinkled his nose at the cheap kind they'd chosen, and then asked them to let him pick next time. Aoi and Yasuhiro then proceeded to both drag him towards their liquor cabinet, probably to have him point out more of the flaws in their taste when it came to alcohol and liquor. I shook my head at them, smiling.

Kyouko scooted closer to me and nudged me in the side with her elbow. "Were you surprised?"

"By what?"

"Their engagement."

"Oh", I said and shrugged. "Not really, no. You?"

"Same here. I was thinking... have you and Togami talked about that anything?"

"About what?"

Kyouko rolled her eyes. "Either you're slower than usual or you're just playing dumb. I'm talking about getting married."

I glanced at Byakuya and sighed. "No. I don't want to bring it up."

"Why?"

"He might get freaked out or something. I don't know what he feels about it."

"All the more reason to bring it up, don't you think? You won't know unless you ask. And I don't think he's going to freak out to the point where your relationship ends up becoming unstable."

I fidgeted a little and averted my gaze. I was terrified of bringing up this subject with Byakuya since I had no idea how he'd react. I wanted to say I believed he wouldn't get mad or scared if I talked about it, but I honestly didn't have the slightest idea. And I didn't want to jump to conclusions and potentially work myself up for what could be nothing, so instead I just avoided it. Much like I did with everything else, really.

"I don't know", I said. "I mean, I  _do_ want to get married at some point, but at the same time... we're fine the way we are now. Nothing really needs to change, we've already gone through far too much. I just want things to be peaceful and status quo for a while. And that includes not mentioning these things to him. So I'd appreciate it if you didn't, either."

Kyouko crossed her arms with a frown, but sighed in resignation and leaned back against the couch again. "Alright, fine. I just think you're overreacting; I don't think he'll react that badly to it. You've both matured a lot in the past year, even he has — so I'd say that the chances of him running away from you after just _talking_ about marriage are very slim. No, I'd say non-existent."

"Are you willing to bet on it?" I said with a grin, and I think she knew what I was thinking about.

"A thousand yen", Kyouko replied and laughed.

"For what?"

Byakuya's voice interrupted us, and I quickly looked at Kyouko, hoping she'd save the situation since I knew I'd probably just make it worse by trying.

"How long the two of them are going to last", she said, and I sent a silent prayer to the gods above for Kyouko's ability to think fast.

"Oh. I bet five thousand yen on less than a year. In a marriage, that is."

"You think they'll be able to get divorced and still be together?" Kyouko asked before she emptied her glass of champagne. "Wait, speaking of which — where'd those two go off to now that you're back?"

Byakuya shrugged. "I think they went upstairs or something."

Kyouko and I exchanged wide-eyed glances. "Shouldn't we leave in that case?"

"Probably, yes."

"Didn't they say anything?!"

 

*

 

"Jeez, I can't believe those two. I mean, they had  _guests_."

"Who's to say they actually went up to have sex?"

I stared at Byakuya in disbelief. "What else do you think they went up there to do and not planning on coming back downstairs to entertain their guests?"

"Oh, whatever. Let those two lovebirds be. Maybe we'll see Asahina with a growing belly soon, who knows?"

I suddenly remembered that one time Yasuhiro told me he'd seen our future, and that his and my children would have the same mother. I almost wanted to laugh at the whole idea, both because I wouldn't be able to have kids unless I were to adopt — in which case his prediction would be even more impossible unless there was some insane coincidence — but also because that meant his fortunes really didn't come true all that often.

He always said they had a thirty percent's chance of coming true, but in some cases, I thought that number was ridiculously exaggerated. However, there was that one time when his prediction had sort of come true; when he told us there wouldn't be any more murders after Celes had killed Yamada and Ishimaru. In a way he'd actually been right in that since the next and last death was self-inflicted.

"Actually, I don't think that's too unrealistic", I said with a little grimace, making Byakuya laugh. He pulled me closer and planted a kiss to the side of my head. "Well, except for the fact that it'd collide with her plans of going professional with swimming."

"Ah, yes, of course." He turned to face me, and all of a sudden, his facial expression had gone serious. "Now, tell me what you and Kirigiri were  _really_ talking about earlier. I saw the look on your face, and you didn't really look all that happy before I interrupted you."

I flinched, having the worst poker face as usual. "Oh, it— it wasn't anything big."

"Makoto."

The warning tone in his voice made my heart skip a beat; I knew I had to tell him. I'd technically lie if I said it wasn't anything big, because of _course_ it was a big deal. Maybe too big — it depended on how well Byakuya responded to it. I took a deep breath.

"She asked me if you and I have been talking about... m-marriage."

I waited for a reaction, but there was none. "Okay. And what did you tell her?"

"That we haven't."

"Do you  _want_ to talk about it?"

Of course I did, but I didn't want to tell him that. Not that I had any other choice now that he'd backed me into a wall without a way to escape. After all this time, I still sucked at dealing with confrontations and arguments and avoided them like the plague. I'd just have to throw myself in there and hope for the best.

"We don't have to if you don't want to", I said, looking down at my hands.

"Is this something you're thinking about a lot?"

"Not really", I said. "But sometimes I do. I just don't... want to bring it up, since it might be, er, too much. For you."

Byakuya nodded, processing what I said. "You don't have to worry about that, Makoto. Really, I want you to talk to me about  _anything_ that bothers you. And even if I might react to it in a way that might not be what you want, you have to deal with it. Same thing goes for me, of course. A relationship is built on trust, right?"

"I _do_ trust you!" I retorted, feeling panic creep up on me. "It's not that, I just don't want to bring up something that might start stressing you out in case you don't—"

"Makoto, listen to me", Byakuya interrupted with a calm tone that confused me. I hesitantly leaned back against the arm he still had around my shoulders. "I love you. I really do, and I want to be with you more than anything. That's not something I would've said a year ago, and I owe it all to you. I owe a whole lot to you, actually. But that's not what this is about. What matters is that we love each other and want to be with each other. Or am I wrong?"

"No, of course not", I mumbled, and he nodded.

"I thought so. So, please don't feel like you shouldn't talk to me about some things because you fear I might get upset. I still might, but that's something you deal with in relationships. You encounter hurdles and you climb over them. And since you want to know but won't ask, I've... thought about that, too."

This was when he lost most of his stoic and calm composure, and I detected a faint blush on his cheeks as I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. I turned to face him properly, and he looked me straight in the eyes, his impossibly blue eyes almost threatening to make me drown in them.

"Would you want to get married?" he asked, and my breath hitched in my throat.

"What? Wait, are you... Byakuya, you don't have to—"

"I'm asking you. Yes, or no?"

I wanted to look away so badly but I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. He held my gaze, his serious expression never once faltering even for a millisecond. My heart was beating hard against my chest and I felt like my head was spinning.

"I... yes. I would, one day."

"Okay. Because that means we're of the same opinion. I'm glad, because otherwise I wouldn't have known what on earth I'd do with this thing."

Before I had time to ask what he was on about, Byakuya lifted his arm off my shoulders and dug into the pocket on his trousers. I stared until I realised I wasn't staring at a particularly good spot, so I looked at the floor right by my feet instead.

"Byakuya, don't... don't tell me you..." I couldn't even finish the sentence, as badly as my voice was shaking. He laughed a little.

"It's not  _exactly_ what you think", he said, and it made me confused, so I looked up at him. He was holding a box in one hand, just as I'd thought, and it was about the same size as those boxes in which rings usually came. But if it wasn't exactly what I thought it was, then what was in that box? I thought back to the time when he'd offered me a key to the apartment when I still wasn't living there, but a key at this point wouldn't make sense.

"It's not?"

"No."

He opened the box, and I was presented with a ring just as I'd expected at first. It was a flat silver ring without any decorations, it looked so ordinary that it felt odd coming from Byakuya. I stared at it in disbelief.

"You said it wouldn't be what I thought, but it kind of is."

Byakuya shook his head. "No, well... you think this is an engagement ring, right?"

I almost didn't want to answer the question since I felt like my response could offend him, but again — I didn't have much of a choice other than to just reply. "Yeah."

"Well, it's not. Not quite, at least. It's a promise ring. I hope you aren't too upset when I say that I feel like the two of us are still a little too young for something as big as marriage. I can't speak for Asahina and Hagakure, but I feel the same about them, too, of course. However, like I said, this is a promise ring. And that means... it's sort of like a promise that we  _will_ get married, one day."

"Okay", I said slowly, letting it sink in as I still had my eyes trained on the silver band in the box he still held in his hand in front of me, but then I met his gaze again despite still being a little nervous. "But you do know that we can't actually get married, right?"

Byakuya looked at me like I'd completely lost my mind, and for a second, I wondered if I had. "What are you talking about? Of course we can. Maybe not in Japan, but we can always fly to France. You do know I have family there, right?"

The worrying feeling settled in my stomach again, and I frowned. France was indeed where Byakuya had family, but that also means his uncle. Sure, he was still locked up in prison, but we didn't know for how much longer. And if we were to go there and get married, maybe he'd be there and crash said wedding. Not that I think the two of us would have such a big and fancy wedding, anyway — Byakuya might be okay with some degree of public display of affection, but I was sure he would despise big weddings with lots of people. To be fair, I knew I would, too.

"What about your uncle?" I asked hesitantly, not really wanting to bring up any bad memories but knowing I had to. All cards on the table, nothing hidden, even if it might upset. It meant taking risks, but like Kyouko said, I wouldn't know unless I asked or talked about it.

Byakuya went silent for a bit, but then opened his mouth. "I don't think that'll be much of a problem. Even if he were to get out if we go to France... it's a big country. We don't have to get married in the town they live, of course. We'll figure something out. Or we could just go to another country, that might be easier. Either way, it won't be a problem. I promise."

"Alright. So... this is sort of like an engagement, but not really. It's a promise, made with a promise ring?"

"Yes, I suppose you can put it that way", Byakuya said and laughed, making my heart flutter. "So. Naegi Makoto, will you marry me... one day?"

I looked up at him and felt tears burn behind my eyelids. To think I'd been worrying about this to the point where it almost got ridiculous, and then  _this_ happened. I had no idea Byakuya had been thinking about the same thing, but then again, I'd never been able to tell what people were thinking. This didn't even come close to what I'd thought and feared, and I guess that showed I still had some things to learn about my boyfriend.

I swallowed to try and get rid of the lump in my throat, but it wouldn't work. "Yeah. I mean, yes, of course. Yes, I do", I said with a thick voice, and he smiled in return.

"I'm glad." Byakuya took out the ring and slipped it onto my left ring finger, and I was surprised by how well it fit. "I was just guessing, if you were wondering", he said.

"I'm impressed", I said, still in awe. Having a ring on my finger would take some time getting used to, but it was something I knew I wouldn't  _mind_ getting used to. Besides, it'd be a constant reminder that I belonged to someone. Someone I definitely could see myself spending the rest of my life with, however long that life would last.

He took both of my hands in his and placed his lips on mine, and I felt myself melting into the kiss. I'd gone through what felt like a hundred different kinds of emotions within the span of just a few minutes, but I'd finally landed on positive and happy feelings, making my heartbeat slow down and the worrying feeling in my stomach slowly disappear.

"I love you", I said and leaned my forehead against Byakuya's.

"I love you, too."

 

*

 

I was lying on my back, trying to catch my breath. Byakuya was doing the same, and we didn't really talk for a few minutes after that love-making session that had ensued not long after he'd been done with not-really-proposing to me. I still felt like it wasn't real, like we'd just hypothetically talked about maybe getting married one day. But then I lifted up my left hand to stare at the ring that now adorned my ring finger, and I was reminded by the fact that it was very much real.

"Still don't believe it?" Byakuya asked, taking my hand in his and intertwining our fingers.

"No... but that's not in a bad sense. It feels like a dream." I half-sat up and leaned my chin on my hand. "By the way... it feels like a weird coincidence that you had this, and planned on doing this. Did you really plan on doing that today?"

Byakuya looked at me in confusion for a second or two before it seemed to click. "Oh. Actually, no. I was thinking I'd take you out to dinner or something and  _then_ do it. But it seemed kind of fitting, seeing how weddings and such became the theme of the day for some reason. And it wasn't that I wasn't ready, I just didn't think it was the right time. But it turns out I had it handed to me thanks to Asahina and Hagakure."

I smiled. "Yeah. Weird how that worked out, huh."

It was strange to think back to all the things that had happened to us in the past year when we'd been dating, and sometimes I found myself wondering what I'd be doing if Byakuya  _hadn't_ come back, if we'd just kept working at the minimart without anything big like that coming to turn our lives upside-down. It had all worked out for the better, though, even if at the time I hadn't thought so.

Obviously the minimart would still eventually have to close down, but I guessed that a whole lot of the stuff that happened in the middle of everything wouldn't have happened. Matsuoka coming into our lives and nearly destroying my relationship being one of the big things, but also — if Byakuya hadn't come back, all those things that happened at his first job after he closed down the Togami Corporation wouldn't have happened, either.

There were a lot of bad things that could've definitely been avoided, but most of the events in our relationship are things I wouldn't have wanted to miss or change in any aspect. It made us grow and mature, and it made me realise a whole lot of things about myself, and also learning to properly trust people.

"I'm looking forward to the latter half of this year", I said with a sigh. "So far it's been far less eventful than last year was, and I'm completely okay with that."

"Me too. Well, I'm looking forward to the rest of forever, really. Since I get to spend it with you."

I couldn't help but snort and laugh. "Wow, you've turned into such a sap, haven't you?"

He took one of his pillows from under his head and smacked it in my face. "I spend too much time with you, so of course that was bound to happen."

I secretly agreed to what he said, and found it very endearing. I just didn't want to say it since I think he knew anyway.

 

 

 _end_.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "[Rebuild" ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8o19bzyytGU) by Megumi Ogata (Naegi's VA) played on Spotify as I finished writing this, and it made me feel emotional. It's over. I really hope you enjoyed the ending, and thank you so much for reading and being patient with me this entire time!


End file.
